Unbroken & Unbridled

Standing in a small town square, I watch as everyone packs up to go home. This was a good market, and I did well here. 

"Well, hell, we cleaned up in this little town, didn't we,"

I tell my leftover plants.

As I cleared the small table of the plants. I have always talked to my plants; they grow better, and I get much-needed therapy. I must restock a few fast sellers ASAP before I make it to the next town. I pack everything in my truck. I load up and drive back to my home. I saved up money for two years before I had money to shape my future. It's not easy to save money while homeless. I went to sleep cold and hungry many nights so I could have a home. It's home, well, my home anyway, and I love my home. At eighteen, one could say I had beaten the odds and conquered the system. Homeless, abandoned, and broken at not even thirteen. I pull up to my trailer and take a moment to be grateful. It's not a log cabin in the middle of the woods. But I love it. It's an old airstream trailer I bought, so most of it had to be redone. I enjoyed it though. I lived in it while I worked on it. I built hidden cubbies for my smoke. Added spots for plants to grow and hang. I painted the outside with emerald green morning glory vines and vibrant purple and blue morning glories. I recently added solar panels to the top and an extra water tank. I unpack everything and get started replanting. I go into my trailer and go over to my kitchen area. I reach under my sink to myself and pull out my little box of seeds; It's amazing what you can get online these days. Amazon pickup is where it's at you know. Plants are how I make my money. I don't know why but I can grow anything and quickly. From seed to sell in two weeks, I know you don't believe me, but they just seem to like me. With one tree, three flowers, two fruit, three veg, and four vines it looks like I have a lot to do before I hit the road again. I have been here almost three weeks, way longer than I should have been. I'm starting to notice men hanging around and that's always bad. One week too long but I made a killing off the special order of mini roses. Still, I know better. Every time I stay in one place too long, men get obsessed. Before you even think about it, no, I'm not conceited. I just know what happens every time. Obsessed men and paranoid women sometimes even obsessed women. I just don't understand it but I know it's my hell. Maybe karma for something I did in a past life. It started when I started my period when I was thirteen. I'm not even going to bathe before I restock my food. It's better that way I'm less attractive. I put everything in the trailer and back into the toolbox on my truck. I go Into my trailer to lock everything down. I look around to make sure I'm not leaving anything out and lock my trailer door. Looks like I'm going into town one more time before I go. I need food and gas before I hit the highway again. I hopped in my black truck, seat belt check, backpack check, I turned the engine, and to my surprise, I got nothing.

"Shit, don't do this; I can't be stuck here!"

I hit the steering wheel in frustration.

" You know if you're going to break, you should do it when we first get here. Not when I'm trying to leave! "

I put my forehead on the wheel. I just need to leave. I really don't want trouble.

" Ok, goddess. I'll spend more time with nature and give back to the earth at my very next location. Please just don't let the truck brake here and now!"

I reach down and give it a go. I am greeted by the best sound ever as it roars to life.

" Thank you, Goddess. I'll keep my word as always,"

I arrive at the store and park just around the corner to the left side of a small grocery store. When I first got here, I came here for a few things I was low on. I like it because it's small but cheap. The name Save-A-Lot fits just fine. I pull out the list I made last night before bed. I don't need much, just junk food and shelf-stable things. I don't know when I'll find my next parking spot after I leave here. Damn, that reminds me, I need to look at my map. I have never been to this part of Virginia before. I have a phone and laptop, but I still prefer paper maps, which I can draw on to make notes. There are a few places I can never go back to. I found a little shelf plumb full of fried hand pies on sale. They are three for one dollar. Oh! They have lemon and cherry! I'm so buying like twelve, six of each! With another check of my list and my killer side find, I'm done, so I head to the line thinking about where I'm going now. I'm in the checkout line, lost in my thoughts when I hear someone yelling. I look around to see what on earth is going on.

" You, I have a bone to pick with you. You dirty little girl! Who do you think you are blowing into town and wrecking homes?"

There she is, a tall, skinny, but well-built woman stalking towards me with a toddler in tow. If her face wasn't so red and swollen from obvious crying, she would be cute with her dark hair, pale skin, and big blue eyes. The poor child looks confused and afraid. I know that feeling, and I feel for the child. I politely smile and never waver when answering her.

" Mam, I don't know you or your husband, please leave me alone. I don't want any trouble."

By now, the cashier is done, and I start to gather my things in the cart and head for the door.

" Lies all lies. You're a lying, nasty, home-wrecking little girl too. I have proof you're sleeping with my husband. ".

"Okay, Mam. You're delusional because you can't have proof of something that never happened. I'll be going now. Good luck with that, OK? "

" I do have proof he called out your name last night. "

I stop in my tracks, let go of the cart, and turn around. I have never, I would never, I want nothing to do with men or women. Sex makes people crazy and stupid. My left hand shakes as I point to her with my right one on my hip I tell her.

" Ha, that's only proof of his delusions. I never touched him. I have never touched anyone. I'm only barely eighteen and a virgin so please walk away. "

I turn to leave, and I feel something hard hit me in the back of my head. Oh! Hell! No! She didn't just throw something at me. I don't need this shit I need to go. I can't stay here anymore. She is screaming now.

" You can't walk away! I know where your trailer is parked. You're trailer trash you know that!"

As I turn to look at her, she's there in my face. Ok, well, not in my face as I'm only 4'11", so only children and little people can be in my face. But I don't want to hurt her not in front of her kid. She swings, and I dodge it with ease. Enough of this shit, she swings again, and I grab her arm. Using her momentum, I lead her to the ground on my turf. Down here, I'm boss. After years of being on my own and small, I have learned a lot about self-defense. After my thirteenth birthday, I made sure I could protect myself. Because it was clear, I was the only one who would. As I skillfully get a good hold of her, I yell to the cashier to call the cops. Her child is there crying for her mommy. I feel so bad doing this. I don't know why things like this always happen to me. I just wanted to get food and leave, but I knew better. I should have been gone days ago. As I lay here, tears flowing freely, holding a grown woman down as her child cries, I realize this, like everything else, is my fault. Despite the money, I should have gone a week ago. It took a while for the officer to arrive, and he took her away from me. They go to his car and talk for a damn long minute. I watch her cry and point to me. The officer looks at me. I know that look. It says something bad is about to happen. He looks at me like a ravenous beast, a wolf that hasn't eaten in weeks, and I'm an injured bunny. I know that look. I know I sound conceited, but I get that look a lot. After a while, most men lose it; it's like they have no control. Most of them just want to fuck me, but some are worse. They want to own me or hurt me. It's been this way since I hit puberty. That's why I'm on my own. I have been here too long. I look at him. He is a big man, six feet easy. Bald head and a hard round beer belly in front of him. He has grease stains on his pants and coffee stains on his shirt. He heads my way, and as he approaches me, I start to tell my side. But before I can get a word out, he holds up his hand to silence me.

"Miss, we are a small town where we don't take too kindly to people attacking mothers with their children present. You are up there at the lake alone in that trailer selling "plants." I could arrest you right now for assault, endangering a child, disturbing the peace."

Horrified and confused I stare at him till everything he said hits me like a ton of bricks.

"Wait, what… What do you mean by assault? She attacked me! "

" Now, Miss, we both know she only did that because you enticed her after you slept with her husband. Look at you and how many men have bought "plants'' from you over the last two weeks. We both know the men in this town don't want houseplants. You're selling something else at the town square. Now, I can arrest you, impound your trailer, and ruin life as you know it, or we can come to some other arrangement. Maybe everyone can walk away with a happy ending. I know where your trailer is. I can drive us to it, and we can handle this there."

The way he wiggles his eyebrows makes me shiver. I'm relieved he doesn't see it. Shit, what is this man talking about? Is this my life now? What am I going to do? How does he know where I'm parked? I need to think quickly.

"Yes, sir! If you would kindly wait here for like fifteen minutes, then meet me at my trailer. I'm sure we can reach some kind of an agreement. But I have been planting all morning, and I'm sure you would rather I have a fast shower first"

" I can give you ten. "

His face deadpans as he grabs my arm. He puts his face inches from mine. His breath smells like raw meat and chewing tobacco. I have to hold my breath to not gag. I swear I can hear as well as feel him growling.

" Don't you try anything. I'll have officers waiting on the roads out of town. "

As he let go, I took off halfway to my truck. Goddess, let this thing start first try. Only the goddess knows what this man is going to do. It starts right off. I look in my mirror at my silver eyes as I pull away. I can see the fear in them, like the hunger I saw in his. What am I going to do I won't fuck this man? I did nothing wrong! Fuck this shit! Fuck my life! I'm calling his bluff. I will not fuck him. As I pull in, I don't even slow down as I slide in place. I'm glad I picked everything up before I left to get my food. Shit my food! I was so scared I left it. I'll have to stop on the road. I got to go! I hook up my trailer and take off, but I don't even register in what direction I'm headed. I just know I have to put as much distance between myself and that man as I can. I'm not even thinking at this point; just surviving. My fight or flight has kicked in, and I have chosen my flight. I see what looks like the cop's car in my mirror after around an hour of driving, and I know it's him. I can see an intersection ahead of a much smaller highway, which is lined with trees on both sides. Without thinking I turn in there and floor it. I see another turn ahead, and I take it. I make five similar turns before I realize I'm lost. At almost the same time, my fuel light comes on, and I know I'm in trouble. I can't stop what if he finds me. But I can't keep diving like this. I see a small dirt road ahead. Massive trees and bushes hide it, and I turn, hoping I can stop down there for just a minute. I drive another ten minutes when the dirt road turns paved and widens. I pull over and get out because my maps are in the trailer. I have no idea where I am and I need a cup of tea and a joint. Reserve batteries and water for the win people. I know I can have my tea.

"OK, I need to calm down, put the kettle on, roll one, and look at the maps."

I can't tell exactly where I am, but I have a good idea, and that's the bad news. I have royally fucked myself. I can't even find the road I'm on, much less a town to get gas. Virginia is beautiful, and I can find food in the woods. But not gas, nope, that doesn't grow. I have a little gas in the back of my truck. It's for the generator. It's not cold so I think I can live without it. As I smoke, I allow my mind to float back in the past to a time I wish could be forgotten to where my life went off the rails.