Lost
I thought I was ready to be happy
But it doesn’t work that way
Every day I sit there with my arms open wide and ready to listen to the beginnings of your happiness
I’m starting to realize you don’t need me
Maybe you never did but you definitely don’t now
I want to be here for you but do you want me to be here?
Do you still want me?
No one else does, it’s just me and my thoughts
I’m overthinking everything again
I wish most days to disappear, to melt away and be stuck in a dream where I get everything I was promised
I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to always live either
No one would really notice if I left and if they did they wouldn’t care
You would miss me but not for long
He would continue his trash talk
She would say I wasn’t needed
But you, you would miss me…..but not for long
That’s why I want to sink into my bed and never wake up
There’s nothing here for me and I know some might say, “but God loves you!”
But you guys don’t so maybe I should go to Him
They say there’s nothing but happiness there
Maybe that’s the only way to be truly happy
But what about my happily ever after?
The one I was promised
I want the guy but I haven’t met him yet and I know he’s worth the wait but I’m all alone and that hasn’t changed since I was young
Even if I find him, who’s to say he won’t leave
Who’s to say he will even love me….
I’ve always been this sad but when I was younger there was hope
Now there’s nothing but determination
I can’t give up but why? I don’t know
My life is somewhere out there, the question is, will I find it and if I do will it make me happy or will I still be lost?
