Submissive Moments

Best played with a partner.

Based on the title, I’m sure you’ve pieced together where this is going. This book starts with a bang—the spanking.

“Behavior correction” isn’t something that exists in the Dom sub relationship I have with my partner, but this is simply because it’s not something we desire—it doesn’t feel true for us. Maybe we’ll want to include it in the future, maybe we won’t; time will tell and either is fine. This being said, playing with the spanking and the power dynamic it creates within an erotic, playful space is something we've found quite a bit of fire in.

Combine this with a recent desire to cultivate a deeper sense of trust within myself and between myself and my partner, in the way of asking her to allow me to manage some of her time for her, and The Spanking Game was born.

Yes, The Spanking Game, where the sting of a firm hand meets its unlikely partner—time management.

WHAT YOU'LL need:

• A hand or preferred spanking tool of your choice.
• A fully consenting partner (obviously).

HOW IT works.

Be sure to read both roles to fully understand the game.

The Dominant role: At any time throughout the day, the person in the dominant role may tell the person in the submissive role to bend over to receive a spanking. The amount of time dedicated to each spanking command can be as short as a few seconds up to a maximum time limit that is predetermined between the participants. In this way, the dominant is given power not just over the sub's bottom, but also to influence the flow of the sub’s day. With this, they must practice attentiveness. Is the sub in the middle of a task that they would be best left alone in? Does the sub not appear to be in the proper headspace to receive a spanking? Do you feel a spanking may potentially help them? Have they already received a number of spankings and their bottom is a bit sore? The idea is to exercise this power in a way that guides you and the sub through an enjoyable day full of spanking, as smooth and pleasurable as you can make it.

The submissive role: The submissive agrees to give control over to the dominant to dictate when they will engage in spanking time—up to the agreed-upon limit of time. The submissive also agrees to be good-natured about it, remembering to express gratitude and enthusiasm when they are able (don’t force it, but don’t be rude). Further, if the Dominant says it’s time for a spanking and the submissive presently does not feel capable of this—be it they’re too busy or preoccupied at the moment—they must politely say they are not able to and agree to come to the Dominant at their next availability to bend over and wait for the Dominant to fulfill the spanking.

CREATING YOUR AGREEMENT FOR THE game:

• Agree on a maximum time limit a given spanking session is allowed to take (however much time the submissive is comfortable giving the Dominant to play with).
• Are there any times throughout the chosen day that the submissive would like to make unavailable for spanking dictation?
• Agree on any safewords you would like to set. Some words to consider are:
• A check-in word.
• An “I’m reaching my limit but am happy to keep going” word.
• An “I need to stop" word.
• Agree on any other language you would like to use:
• Specifics for how the submissive is to decline a spanking if it comes at a time that doesn’t work.
• Is the submissive to show gratitude after they've received a spanking?
• Is there any language the submissive would not like the Dominant to use?
• Agree on any aftercare that might be needed.

Example: When my partner and I play, we usually end each spanking moment with a hug and some kisses. It’s a nice way to ground the energy, ending with something soft.

Bonus Points: These are things that are inconsequential to the game, but might add a little something extra—potentially helping you drop further into the Dom/sub space.

• If the submissive is unable to engage in a spanking, they agree to come at the earliest convenience to receive the spanking. However, the sub may also like to show an extra sign of respect to the Dominant in some way. Maybe, after the missed spanking is made up, they ask to kiss the Dominant’s hand.
• The submissive doesn’t have to wait for the Dominant to dictate a spanking. They can ask for them as well, should they really want one. They can simply ask, or they can stand up, bend over, and ask. The Dominant is free to say “no,” but the extra show of enthusiasm is sure to ignite some permission for you both.

Again, these things aren't essential to the game and these aren't the only additions you can make—they're only suggestions to get you started. Have a think, get creative, and play with the space.

CLOSING THE game:

Stepping into the full command of a Dominant or into the full surrender of a submissive can feel vulnerable, especially if you’re stepping into these roles for the first time. It’s okay if some of the interactions feel awkward or if you feel somewhat unsure of yourself in a given moment. This game, like any erotic interaction, is simply a compass. It’s a tool to help us dive deeper into ourselves, to get closer to what we like and don’t like. Because of this, it can be helpful to close with a moment of reflection and appreciation. Consider sitting together with your play partner and answering the following prompts. Be sure to keep things objective, speak in reflection of your own feelings, and if there was something the other person did that you didn’t like, try not to blame or say something was done wrong. Instead, treat this as an insight you’ve gained that you now get to share, course correcting and guiding you both where you truly want to be.

• There was a moment when I felt (name one objective body sensation) _______.
• I appreciate you for _______.
• Something I really liked was ________.
• Something I feel curious to play with more is ________.
• Something I didn’t like was ________.
• Something I’d like to change for next time is ________.

Once you’ve both gone, if there’s more to say, feel free to continue the conversation.

THANK YOURSELVES FOR playing.

This game is a practice for stepping further into areas we feel called towards—it truly is a practice. Dominance and submission are energies/archetypes that can be tricky to embody at times. I find it important to go in with no expectations (aside from established boundaries). We then accept the awkward bits for what they are and get to stand in awe of the true moments of fire we get to witness. We don’t get to witness the fire if we don’t show up. With this game, we play, we get curious, and we step right up to the edge of the fire pit. It’s okay if nothing happens, but we’re right there, front and center, should anything want to amaze us.

Happy spanking!