Lacey
I hear the floorboards creek outside my bedroom door.
I hold my breath hoping they will pass.
I know who it is and what he wants but I'm frozen where I lay in my bed.
the door opens and I freeze.
I look out of the window towards the tree than sways in the wind.
The bed dips behind me and the warm body covers my back.
his deep breathing reaches the back of my neck, and I shiver.
his scent makes bile rise in my throat.
I know what comes next and it sickens me.
I let a small whimper leave my throat as he slides his hands down my small body.
"shhh little mouse. don't want to wake anyone do we?
his voice is quiet and soothing, but he shouldn't be here, doing this to my body.
he's naked and hard as he pushes himself closer.
I start to sing my favorite song inside my head.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
you make me happy, when skies are grey.
you'll never know dear; how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
when he grunts with a low moan, I know it's over and he leaves just as quickly as he came.
"Remember it's our little secret."
I know the drill, keep my mouth shut.
This is my life, it's been this way for the last year, and I hate it, but I have no one to tell, no one to talk to.
I wake the next morning and realize it's my Birthday.
I shower the filth off my body and get dressed, before I walk down to the kitchen.
My father sits at the table reading his paper and grunts at me when I pull the cereal from the cupboard.
we live in a small town called Cedar falls, south of the Mississippi river.
My father Nile is a Capenter by trade and works down at the mill.
he drinks heavily but still manages to provide for us.
My Brother Troy is 18 and is in his final year of school.
soon he will leave and attend the local collage, only coming home on weekends.
my mother left last year, fed up with my father's controlling ways.
since she left, my father works all the hours he can and when he's not working, he spends time down at the local bar or with his new on again, off again girlfriend Nina.
Troy enters the room and kisses me on top of the head.
"Morning sis, happy birthday. you're up early."
I ignore him and continue to eat.
my father looks up at me with narrowed eyes.
that's right old man, it's my birthday and you didn't even know.
I stand abruptly and grab my school bag.
"I need to go; I have to go to the library."
I don't get a reply from my father, but Troy tells me to be safe and come straight home after school.
Jenna meets me on the corner of the street with a massive grin and a happy birthday.
we walk the rest of the way to school together.
Jenna is my best friend and as much as I love her, she doesn't know about my midnight visitor, or the other stuff I have to deal with on the regular.
I won't let her get caught up in my drama, she's too nice.
"Justin asked Monica to go out with him, can you believe that? she's such a slut."
Jenna likes Justin, she thinks they are soul mates.
"He asked her to homecoming, and she said yes, she was with David Yanson last week."
she continues to chat as we approach the school.
I hate my life but listening to Jenna eases my mind.
School was actually pretty cool today and a boy in my class asked me to homecoming.
his name is Ashley Cole and he's a good-looking boy, but I said no because I won't be going.
Jenna chocked me out for ages after I said no, calling me a twit and an idiot.
she doesn't understand the control my midnight visitor has on me, and I won't tell her either.
when I walk in the front door I'm met with music and loud shouting.
I guess troy and his friends are hanging by the pool again today.
Yes, we have a pool, its small but our father built it when we were little.
I grab a drink from the fridge and walk up to my room.
Troy and his friends yell and splash as they fool around outside but I drown them out with my own music.
I grab my homework from my bag and sit at my old rickety desk.
if there's one thing I want out of my life, it's to do well and leave this god forsaken town.
I want to become an interior designer.
real estate developer.
I want to work with computers and maybe accounts.
I'm super good with numbers.
so many possibilities, but none will come to fruition if I stay. here.
my bedroom door swings open and in walks Troy.
"Good day at school"
He walks over to my bed and sits down.
"I hear a certain boy asked you to homecoming."
I don't answer because what can I say.
instead, I tun off my music and give him my full attention.
"Did you turn him down?"
I nod and he stands.
"Words lace, give me words."
I turn my face away from him.
"I said no."
my voice is small, and I hate it.
Troy thinks he's protecting me but he's not.
"Yō Troy, we need more beer."
That sounded like Nixen, one of Troys best friends.
"Check the garage, I put some in their yesterday."
Troy yells back to Nixon who in turn slams the garage door.
Nixon is always here. always sleeping over, always eating our food.
Coxy is their other friend, the calmer one.
he stays just as much as Nixon, but it pisses me off because it's just more males in the house and it reminds me of how alone I really am.
"Get changed and come join us by the pool."
I snap my eyes to troy.
He always asks me to join him and his friends, and it gets my guard up.
I know this night is going to become ten times worse.
I shake my head no.
"It wasn't a request Lace. come play with us."
I reel back when he stalks closer.
he kisses my head lovingly and I want to puke.
I hate it when anyone touches me, and Troys friends feel the need to grab me whenever they please.
Troy allows it because he can control it, and I hate it.
"You have 5 minutes to come down or I'll come up and get you."
this is why I hate Fridays, or any day.
our father will be out all night and probably stay over at Ninas.
Troy leaves and I sag in defeat.
I don't have a choice, so I grab some shorts and a Cami and get changed.
The boys are all in the pool when I step outside.
the air is warm on my skin, but I wish I could cover it all up from their prying eyes.
"There she is, come swim with us baby Lace."
Coxy beams up at me, but his eyes show interest on my body.
I don't want to but one look from Troy and I know I have too.
I take a step closer to the edge and lower my body.
"Take off the clothes baby lace, we wanna see what's underneath those shorts."
Nixon is such an asshole.
I look towards Troy, surely, he will stop this.
He shrugs his shoulders as if to say I don't care, but there will be consequences if you don't.
Great.
"Come on baby lace, show us the goods."
Tears spring from my eyes as they watch me take of my shorts and Cami.
this isn't the first time they have seen me like this.
It won't be the last either, until I can get away from here.
I step into the pool and sink beneath the water.
Nixon swims to my side and Coxy swims to the other.
I close my eyes and hold my breath as they both grab for me at the same time.
Troy leans against the side of the pool, watching me.
my eyes tell him that this will end, I will leave one day and there is fuck all he can do about it.
