Loop Mode: On
You force yourself to get up for the morning
Hoping for a good day
Wanting to become a better person
After a few words of encouragement
You recognize the pleasant but somewhat unfamiliar feeling
Of Happiness
You savor it
Knowing it won't last long
The moment you walk through those familiar doors
You automatically transform into that fake, shiny and perfect person you feel forced to be
Wasting precious energy
on people
and patience
You finish your day exhausted
Left with the very little amount of precious strength you managed to save
You turn out the lights
and sink into a sea of darkness
Feeling peaceful for a moment
But swiftly turning sour as you start to realize how tired you really are
Tired of being broken
Tired of being lied to
Tired of being hurt, stepped on and hated
Tired of life
You slowly back into that corner of your mind you've spent countless hours in
and glance around the room
As every object in sight fades into nothing but a sketchy outline
Then the world falls silent
Anticipating your next move
The only sound you are able to hear is not made by a mortal
It's a voice
one you may consider supernatural
Cunning, eerie, and tremendously persuasive
effortlessly turning echoes of comforting words
into horrible lies bent on destruction
but you believe them
soon feeling the sting of fresh wounds
and the warmth of crimson blood trickling over your skin
as your body stops trembling from rage
and your mind floods with guilt
You slip on something to hide your pain
and with every sting the cloth delivers
you scold yourself for giving in
your eyes fill with tears you're too weak to cry
you bury yourself in your bed sheets
lying awake, overthinking
regretting everything
You drift off,
no dreams,
no visions
just quiet darkness
you savor yet another thing that wont last
you'll wake again
you'll rise feeling brave
knowing the cycle repeats
viciously,
efficiently,
and endlessly
I looked to find out what you were talking about and found the name. I originally started it as a fanfic, because I thought I could make it fit but it didn’t feel right and I couldn’t continue it that way, so I went back to the original characters and my home town. I guess I missed that piece. 😕 Any how, thank you for checking it out.
The feeling of purgatory is so strong because we feel like we wake up each day and go through the same pains of yesterday, and this happens over and over again in an endless cycle. I relate the feeling of putting on a fake smile and fake attitude to hide what we really feel on the inside. We're all just tired. And you portrayed it with your words so beautifully.
This is so me! In a bad cycle earlier in my life. But I have change my path. I hope others kan do it to ❣️