It Just Happened

Have you ever had the feeling that something’s just not right with you? I’m sure you have. All people have self-doubt, and if you say you don’t, you’re a fucking liar. I’ve known for some time that things feel different when I try to be intimate with someone.

People say I’m a man whore, and maybe I am, but if they truly got to know me, they’d just know I’m looking for something. I just don’t know what it is yet.

I’m trying my fucking hardest right now to enjoy this, but I’m going limp. Isn’t sex supposed to be enjoyable? I feel no pleasure from this. I just want something…more.

“Oh, fuck, Jaxon! Yes…right there!”

Is she faking it, or is she really enjoying it that much? I honestly don’t know anymore, and to be truthful, I just want this to be over with before I can’t even finish her off. That would be the ultimate embarrassing moment right there.

“Fuck!”

I’m so damn frustrated with myself, my movements slowing even more. I blink several times, my eyes become watery.

You’re not going to cry like a bitch!

I hardly let my emotions show, but this has physically and mentally drained me. I couldn’t care less about my reputation as a fuckboy, but a reputation of not even being able to perform. Well, that’s a different story.

I love sex, enjoy sex… or at least I used to.

It’s just not the same and I don’t know why!

I want to find that thrill that sets my body aflame, that can give me the orgasm I am desperate for. A connection! All I feel right now is… nothing. Numb.

It’s killing me slowly.

I accidentally slipped out of her. Do other guys have these self-doubts while having sex? No one will ever admit to it, we’re supposed to be ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’, but we have insecurities just like women do! Some don’t show it much, some not at all, then there’s me; stuck in limbo, feeling like I am rapidly sinking into quicksand.

What’s she moaning for? I’m not standing up to par!

Until my dick brushes her ass.

“Jaxon, please!” Do they want the same type of feeling I do? Or just a good fuck? I really need to stop overthinking this.

My tip rubs against the rim of her asshole and she moans. Slowly but surely, my dick starts to harden again. Yes, I’m not fucking defective! I want to shout from the rooftops, but I don’t. Instead, I bend down and whisper in her ear.

I can't let anyone know that I don't have my shit together.

“You want me to fuck you here, don’t you?” The head of my dick pushes against it. Just thinking about it has gotten me harder than when we began this whole thing.

“Mmmm... Please, Jaxon, just do it.” I’ve never fucked anyone in the ass before, never really felt the need to before today. Fuck, I’m excited. Confused, but excited. “What are you waiting for, Jaxon? Fuck me already!”

Desperate, horny bitch. I grab a bottle of lube from the nightstand, rubbing it all over the condom. I tease her hole, then push in.

“Fuck!” I almost cum. I haven’t moaned like that ever!

“Damn it, Jaxon! Stop teasing and fuck me already!” I snap out of my thoughts, take a deep breath, savoring this feeling, then slammed into her.

“Fuck! This feels so damn good!” Who knew fucking an ass would feel so much better than a pussy? I pound into her harder, envisioning every way to fuck this ass, when my phone rings.

Just when I was finally enjoying this!

I groan in frustration, putting Chris’ call to my ear as I kept thrusting. Fuck, watching my dick disappearing into her pucker hole is fascinating me even more. If I knew it felt this good, I would’ve done this a lot sooner.

“Quit fucking some chick and get your ass to the field.” He knows me too well.

“Stall for me, bud. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” I pull out and slam into her again, she cries out even louder than before.

“Fuck, I don’t need to hear this shit! Just hurry up. Otherwise, both Coach and Lucas will bitch your ass out.” My blood boils thinking of that asshole.

Lucas Roberts. He just loves to piss me off! With his smug smirk and those damn eyes of his. I pull out and flip her over onto her stomach, pounding in deeper than before.

Oh, fuck this feels even better.

“Yes! Oh fuck, I’m going to cum!” Will she just shut up already?

Grabbing her shoulders, I bring her body flush to mine, gagging her with my hand. Fuck! I can’t hold out much longer, this is too good. Maybe I should do this to Lucas, then I won’t have to hear his bitching!

Just thinking about it makes me pound her harder. I really hate that guy. I really...Why am I thinking about that asshole when I am pounding into her ass?! I shake away the thoughts, slam her back down on the bed and watch my dick going in and out of that tight little hole.

“Oh fuck!” I slam into her one more time. My whole-body shakes, the cum filling the condom.

Damn.

She tries to pull me into a kiss, so of course I dump the condom in the trash and get dressed as quickly as I can. I do not kiss one-time fucks. Ever. Technically, I don’t like to kiss, only on occasion when the mood feels right, or whenever I want to get laid.

My rules: Don’t kiss. Don’t get attached. Be a complete jerk.

But hey, at least they know it. I don’t give them the impression I’m a nice guy that wants a commitment then ditches, I’m honest. I don’t understand why the women at this college even like me.

“That was amazing, Jax.”

“You liked it when I fucked that tight ass?” Just thinking about it is making me stiff down there. Is that the only way I can get off now?

That’s something I’ll have to ponder about later, right now I don’t have the time to…

Damn!

She bends over, picking up her clothes, her twitching hole fluttering. Can I say fuck it and go another round? That’s the best sex I’ve had in a while… a very long while.

Nope! You don’t do seconds with anyone! You’ll just have to experiment with someone else next time, see if they can make you feel. It was a start, I felt a thrill from it, but it’s not lasting long. I can already feel myself coming down from the high.

“I gotta go. Thanks, Tasha.”

“Um, it’s Tara?” I shrug. Sorry sweetheart, I am not a good guy.

I really should feel bad, but I don’t. They’re willing to fuck me knowing how I am. I’m not going to remember names, names mean attachment, and attachments only bring drama and misery. I’ve seen it too many damn times to want that in my life.

“Alright, Tina, see you later.”

I jog across campus to the football field. Chris laughs at my passing salute, flipping me off as he walks towards the rest of the team.

“Reynolds!” Lucas. “You’re late.” He shouts irritably. I love pissing him off, but it never lasts, he likes to get under my skin too damn much.

“Yeah, by five minutes! Chill the fuck out.” I ball my hands into fists. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but he can go fuck himself!

“Maybe if you cared about this team as much as you did about how to get your dick wet.” He eyes me up and down, but when his eyes land on my crotch with a smirk, my dick twitches.

What the fuck?

“You know damn well I’m one of the best players on this field!” He laughs mockingly, getting right in my face, but I don’t back down.

“You’re a cocky son of a bitch, aren’t ya?” I shove him away before I lose it. His scent is overwhelming, I can still feel his breath against my skin.

“And you’re an asshole!”

“You two! Knock it off and save it for practice!” Coach Littel yells, halting me imagining all the ways I am going to kill Roberts in my head.

“Why are you late?”

“Sorry, Coach. There was traffic.” He snickers, he knows damn well I could’ve been here on time. I was having too much having my dick in Tina's ass.

“Yeah, and my asshole spits out buttermilk.”

What the actual fuck? Not something that I want to envision, Coach! “Next time you’re late you’ll be running ten extra laps around the field. Plus cleaning up the whole damn locker room!”

He’d probably have me clean it with a damn toothbrush. Coach tortures us to keep our shit together. For the most part, it works.

“Yes, Coach.” Lucas snickers. The asshole really needs to go fuck off! Flipping him off doesn’t give me the satisfaction it usually does.

Maybe, I need to come up with another way to piss him off.

“Save that shit for the field. You two hate each other, so fucking be it. However, when you are playing on my field, you will work as a team! Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Coach.” We say in unison.

“At least you two fuckers agree on something. For once.” Coach shakes his head.

“You better not miss when I throw the ball.” Lucas shoves past me.

“Just throw the damn ball to me and I’ll catch it every damn time.”

“Cocky son of a bitch.”

“It’s not cocky! It’s called skills, baby, and I got it in spades.”

“Baby?” Lucas cocks an eyebrow at me, that damn smirk back on his face.

The team laughs, I glare at them, they shut up really quick. That’s what I thought. I set my eyes back towards my enemy, his smug smirk making my fist want to collide with his pretty face.

The fucker took it out of context!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I really hate this guy.

Before I can rebuttal, Coach calls out. I end up playing the opposite of Lucas, adrenaline pumping through my skin. Finally, I’m going to knock him on his ass! Bouncing on the balls of my feet, the anticipation running through my entire core, I’m like a kid in a candy store. I love this feeling. It’s better than sex!

Okay, not better than sex.

Patience is not my virtue, wanting to knock Roberts down a peg or two is my only goal. Everything else be damned. Arrogant bastard! The whistle blows and not wasting a moment I rush towards him. Getting around Johnny is not an easy task, that man is a fucking beast! Seeing Lucas in my sights I dive forward, even after he throws the ball, tackling him to the ground.

“Got you, fucker!” I land right on top of him and laugh.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snarls, but then I feel… his bulge. I bite my lip, a moan almost escaping. Snap out of it! That can't be it, we wear protective cups, you idiot! Why would my mind even think like this? This was definitely not my best laid out plan.

Jumping off him quickly, I scramble to my feet. I almost fucking moaned! That can’t be right. There’s no way in hell anything he remotely did would turn me on. His eyes widen, then his expression hardens. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

“Reynolds! If you ever pull that shit again, you’ll be benched. Do I make myself clear!” Coach fumes. I’ve never seen his face turn beet red like this before. If he was a cartoon character his head might actually explode.

This is not who I am. I love women, love everything about them, love fucking them!

Well, as of late, not so much, but that does not mean I should get turned on by grinding Lucas fucking Roberts!

Coach glares at me. I do not want to be on his bad side. He’ll make my college days a living hell.

Maybe, I’m already there.

“Yes Coach.”

Get your shit together!

The rest of practice I stay away from Lucas like he’s the damn plague. Whatever I was feeling earlier I sure as hell don’t want to feel it again. Ever. The rational part of my brain is telling me it’s just leftover hormones from the best release that’s happened to me in a while. I’m just amped up to have that feeling again.

Yes, that’s got to be it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’m not even going to analyze the other logical reasons for all of this, too damn afraid to discover the answers. Let’s find another chick and see if it happens again. That momentarily feeling I had before, it needs to last longer. Be stronger. I want it! No, I need it again. I’m so fucking desperate for it! Just having an ounce of it has me craving for more.

As soon as practice’s over, I spot someone off in the distance and smirk. Now there’s a girl... No, correction, a woman, I’d like to get to know so much better.

“Hi sugar.” She smiles and waves at me.

“Nice seeing you here, Stace.” She’s the epitome of beauty: Fiery red hair, emerald-green eyes, pouty, cupid’s bow lips. Those lips are every man’s fantasy. Images of the things those lips can do come clear in my mind. She gives me a sultry smile that could make any man weak.

The shit eating grin on my face is not disappearing anytime soon, all thanks to her.

“Nice practice game out there.”

“It could’ve been better.” My mind is having an internal war I need her to fix. It’s fucking Roberts fault for getting on my damn nerves every five seconds.

Why are you thinking about him? Especially when this damn Goddess is in front of you!

“There’s a party at my place tonight.” She licks those kissable lips. I breathe a sigh of relief when my dick starts to harden, even if it’s only a little bit. I’ll take that as a good sign. “You’re coming.”

Oh, I can cum alright. Maybe. Self-doubt needs to shut the fuck up right about now!

My smile widens, feeling the pre-cum oozing from my shaft. This has to be because of her, right? Unfortunately, my smile vanishes when his voice pierces through the ruckus of my mind.

He had to fucking ruin this for me!

“Reynolds, we need to talk.” My jaw ticks, my eye twitches. This fucker is everywhere!

Can’t he just leave me the hell alone?

“I’m kinda busy at the moment.” I look at Stace, but she’s looking at Lucas with a gleam in her eye. No, no, no! Do not fall for his handsome features! That perfectly black hair that always looks in place, even after an hour of fucking football practice...Those hazel eyes anyone could get lost in... except me. I do not want to get lost in them. I don’t want her getting lost in them!

Okay, that’s it! I have completely lost my fucking mind. I check for bumps on my head. I must’ve hit my damn head. There’s nothing remotely good looking about Lucas fucking Roberts!

If these thoughts keep invading my head, I might have myself committed.

“Who’s he?” She drinks him in. I’ll be damned if he steals her attention from me.

“Just our Quarterback.” I wave him off like he’s some filthy peasant.

“Hmm, interesting.” I give her a puzzled look, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. For fuck’s sake!

“What?!” My irritation is reaching its ultimate limit. Being around him today has got me on edge, too much on edge, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Emotions are foreign to me and I’m not okay with it, or this.

Admit it’s because you got excited being on top of him earlier and can’t deal with it.

Shut up, stupid brain! You have no idea what you are thinking about.

“Look, we need to try and get along for the team’s sake. We have scouts coming soon, I don’t want to fuck that up for anyone. You can hate me all you want off the field.” Oh, trust me I fucking can’t stand you especially right now!

All these thoughts swarming in my head is making my head pound. Thinking back, there was one time where we were decent to each other. Even then he annoyed the shit out of me, but we got along. It was…nice? I don’t know what I was thinking that day, especially looking at him right now. I really just want to hit him.

“Jaxon, are you going to introduce us, Sugar?”

Shit! I forgot she was here. I grab her hand and pull her in front of me, my arm around her waist, my chin on her shoulder, introducing her to him with a smug smile.

“Stace, meet Asshole. Asshole, meet Stace.”

She looks up at me and giggles. She really is gorgeous.

Good, I got her attention now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me.

“It’s Lucas.” No, it’s definitely Asshole.

Trying not to ruin my chances with Stace, I play it off like it’s a joke. She cannot find out how much of a complete dickhead I truly am yet. Fake it ’til you make it, or some shit like that.

“Oh, you’re both definitely coming to my party.” The gleam in her eye has me a little on edge. Why is she looking at us like that?

Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe I’m just overthinking everything today! Shaking off the weird vibe and letting out a small laugh, nothing is going to stop me from what I want.

“I might need a little persuasion.” I tap my lips. If she wants me to go, she needs to show me how much.

She grabs my shirt and pulls me to her lips. Out of the corner of my eye I see Lucas watching us. Weirdo! Tilting her head, I kiss her deeper, exploring her mouth. Nothing, I feel nothing. Until my eyes lock with him again.

We can’t look away from each other...

Why can’t we look away from each other?

A moan escapes her lips, and the spell was broken.

“I’m gonna go.” Lucas starts to walk, and I abruptly pull away from Stace.

Why did I just do that? My tongue was down her throat, but I pulled away. Just because he was about to leave! Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?

“Luke, you’re coming right? To the party?” Stace asks.

“Sure, text me your address. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky.” He wiggles his eyebrows at her, my hands clench into fists at my side.

“I’ll drive you.” I blurt out.

“Why?” He glares at me. I don’t know!

Maybe because... I don’t want you having each other’s numbers! Yeah, that’s it. I don’t want him with Stace, I’m gonna get this woman!

“Trying to play nice.” I muster up the best fake smile I can, just to see his lips twitch.

“Okay... text me when you’re ready.” With that he jogs off. He has a nice ass.

Okay, who said that?

There’s no way I was thinking that. I’m not into guys! Even if I was, it would definitely not be with Lucas fucking Roberts!

She stares at me for a brief moment, her smile more prominent. Shit! Did she just see that? Please tell me I did not say that out loud!

“Oh, tonight is going to be great, Jaxon. I can feel it.”

Sweat drips down my face, and it’s not from practice. Play it cool, just play it cool. What am I in fucking high school again? Get a grip man!

“It definitely will be.” I plaster on the smile that drives the girls wild.

Her soft lips caress my cheek before walking off. I check her out, it stirs something inside me, but not what I was hoping for.

That will change later tonight, she’s going to change things around for me.

If only I’d known in this moment just how drastically my life was going to change from that one party.