1| 𝙹𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎♡
“Promise that you won’t let me fall.”
Chapter Theme Song: ‘Damage’ by H.E.R
••
||Saturday, October 22 Text Chat
••
||Tianna
C: Tia!!!!!
T: Hey, Wassup?
C: Nothing...it’s just, I haven’t heard from Jawayne all evening :(
At the mention of his name, I swallow hard, trying to push down my unrequited feelings. Christine and Jawayne has been dating for five months now. I’ve liked him since the sixth grade. But Jawayne likes her. He only has eyes for her. Leaving me as a third wheel.
T: Didn’t you say he has football practice on Fridays?
C: Yes...but...
T: But what?
I place the cell on the bed, dipping my hand in a tin ofPringlesbefore the phone vibrates with another text from Chrissy.
C: He and the boys hang out at Club Diners every Friday. You know, there’s this new bar girl there. She’s pretty as hell. And I just feel like there’s something going on between the two of them...
T: Really? What makes you think that?
C: Okay, no more chatting. He lives right across the road from you, can you go peek and see if his room lights are on?
T: Okay.
I climb off the bed and plod across my grey carpet. I push the curtains away, peering over at Jawayne’s house. His room is dark, his curtains drawn. He isn’t home.
T: He’s not home. His room is dark.
C: Ugh! Okay. Thanks. I’m gonna try calling him again.
T: Okay. Do that.
I put my phone on the bed and fold my feet underneath me, scrolling down my Meta feed. I spot a photo of Jawayne sitting at a bench at our community park with a few of his friends. They’re grinning and posing for the camera. His white teeth are bright in a smile. I swallow and click on his display photo. I search through his posts. I keep searching until I get to the year 2019. I spot a long time photo of him and Chrissy, before they were dating, laughing with ice cream in their hands. My best friend looks so pretty. And then...I try to scroll down and end up clicking like!
I gasp. Shit.
I gawk in horror at the bright red heart at the bottom of the image.
No, who would want to like a post from the year 2019? It’d be so obvious that I’m snooping around.
I tap the like so it comes off, then throws my phone down and covers my face. Oh, Tia, you idiot!
My phone vibrates and I jump, startled. But it’s Chrissy again.
C: I got through to him. He’s just leaving Club’s Diner. I wanna ask him about the girl but I’m scared!
Oh, Chrissy, I have my only problems over here, I just liked your boyfriend’s post from 2019!
I swallow and tap:
T: Oh, yay, amazing.
C: You sound fake😑🤨
T: What do you mean?
C: I mean, you should be happy that I got through to Jawayne. But that texts seems...a bit off. Are you okay?
T: YAY!!!!😍😍😍😍🎉🎊🎈🎀🎈🎁🎊🎉 Is that better?
C: Sighs. Yes :) but...is this about you not having a boyfriend again? Are you feeling triggered, TT?
T: Oh, Chrissy. I told you, I don’t need a boyfriend.
C: Bax likes you. Jawayne’s friend. I could set you guys up, what do you think?
T: I think that’s awful. Please don’t.
C: Why? He’s hot. He’s athletic too😉.
T: Yeah, he is good looking but I’m just not feeling him at all, you know?
C: Who are you feeling then?
Can’t tell you. I’ll be taking that to my grave. People can’t control who they like, who they want. It’s a cruel fate that is bestowed upon us. I wish I didn’t like Jawayne. But I do. And I want to stop but I don’t know how to. I’ve been on a few dates; none works out. I keep thinking about a certain grey-eyed, straight nose, plump lips that I’ve known since elementary school.
I can’t forget when I first saw Jawayne Daley. He was taller than most boys in our class. Very muscular at the early age of fourteen. And when he finally moved across from me in the eighth grade, I couldn’t stop peeking over at his side of the block. His mom is a deaconess at a church I go to occasionally. But he’s such a rebellious seed I wonder which side of his genes he got that from. Maybe his Dad. Mr. Daley is clocking his forties but he still rides a vintage motorcycle and gels his hair. I think my mom has a secret crush on him. She always so happens to be on the patio whenever he rides by.
Oh, Mom. Let’s wallow together in crushes that’ll never ever happen.
Okay. Here what. I’m gonna forget about Jawayne. Starting tonight.
Let’s weigh his pros and cons:
Pros: Cons:
Hot. ?
Smart. ?
Athletic. ?
Tall. ?
Polite. ?
Do you see my dilemma?
T: No one. I’m not feeling anyone.
C: Okay.
Two minutes later...
C: imma add you to a chat group. Maybe you’ll find a cute guy in there?
T: Chrissssyyyyyyy
C: What? You’ll thank me later😉
T: Ugh!
C: Okay when the admin gets online, I’ll ask her to add you, okay?
T: Do whatever you want. You won’t listen to me anyway.
C: Lol. Calm down. It’s just for mingling.
T: 🙄🙄🙄🙄
C: Relax those eyes, they’ll get stuck.
T: Lol leave me alone.
Ping! Meta Message from Jawayne.
J: Hi?
My eyes bulge wide.It’s Jawayne!
Jawayne has never noticed me. It’s like I don’t exist to him. Only Chrissy does...
What is this?!
I gulp and slide out of Chrissy’s chat and to his:
J: It’s Jawayne👋Thanks for liking that pic from 2019, it’s one of those that I’m really insecure about! At least I don’t feel embarrassed about it anymore😅
Breathe!
Breathe!
Breathe!
T: What picture...?
You idiot, TT!
J: Lol. The one where I look like a lanky nerd. It’s from the ninth grade. But I was so skinny back then. All elbows and knees. I was thinking of deleting it and totally forgot.
I don’t know what to say!
T: Oh. Okay.
You boring turd! That’s why you never have a boyfriend!
J: Yeah. You’re one of Chrissy’s friend. The one who lives across the street, right?
T: Uh, yeah...that’s me...
I start chewing on my strawberry-painted fingernails, not knowing what to say or think. Jawayne is talking to me.
Do I want to be talking to him? Not really.
I slide out of his chat and message Chrissy.
T: Hey, earlier when you wanted to know what Jawayne was up to, I went on his profile and accidentally liked one of his pictures from 2019. Now he’s texting me. Should I respond to him?
C: Lol what?😺Why were you on his profile?
Yeah, Tianna, why????
T: His picture popped up on feed and I was just snooping for you.
C: Lol okay...
Chrissy is typing...
C: You can text him...
One minute later.
C: Better yet, Ineedyou to text him, I need you to find out about the diner girl, pleaseeee😊🥹
T: No! Ask him yourself.
Ping! A text from Jawayne.
C: No. It could ruin my relationship, T. I don’t want Jawayne to think I don’t trust him :(
T: I’m not comfortable talking to him.
I really am not.
Because I like him...and knowing that I like him, feels like I’m betraying Chrissy.
C: Why not?
T: Because he’s your boyfriend.
C: So? Okay, Tia, I know you’re kinda like...afraid of boys but Jawayne won’t bite. He’s really sweet.
T: Yeah, I know.
C: Then just talk to him. You’re always trying to avoid us all going out, but it’s been five months since we’ve been dating and you’ll have to talk to him eventually one day. Plus, we are all going to the movies next Saturday.
What?
T: Movies?
C: Yes. What?
T: I’m not coming.
I can’t stay close to the guy! I’ll become a human cherry!
C: Don’t be silly. You’re gonna make everything so weird.
T: Please😭Don’t make me come.
C: Tianna, please stop treating my boyfriend likes he’s a germ. You’re the only one who does.
T: 😞
C: Please, please befriend him and get some news about the diner girl? About any girl or anything at all for that matter.
T: Chrissy.
C: Please? Please. I think it’ll be useful.
T: You thinkI’llbe useful.
C: Lol yes, but it sounds bad when u say it like that.
T: ...
C: Can you just do that for me? Just this once? Pleaseeeeee??
I release a sigh and throw my back against my bed. Chrissy has no idea what she is making me do.
T: Fine. I’ll try.
C: Yay! I love ya!😘😘
I roll my eyes all the way to the back of my head.
Always the call girl, huh?
