Prologue
Mila
Coralie began running her fingers through my hair, scrolling through social media with her other. A shiver rolled down my spine, and I did my best to hide it.
I was madly in love with my best friend, but I had no clue whether she returned those feelings. Coralie was the complete opposite of me. I was short and tiny, whereas she was tall and a little thicker. I kept my hair colored bright colors, whereas hers was always blonde. Even our eye colors were different—mine gray and hers hazel.
And our personalities? It was a miracle we didn’t clash all the time and got along so well. I was quieter, a little shyer, and I tried to be everyone’s friend. Coralie was standoffish, blunt, and a bit bitchy.
For years now—from the moment we met, really—we’d fit together like two pieces of a puzzle piece. We fit so well, I was a bit codependent on her. But I couldn’t ever figure out her stance on me. Was I friend-zoned? Every time I thought I was, she did something that made me think she liked me as more than a friend, and it got my hopes up every single time.
I didn’t know where I stood.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Coralie asked suddenly. I blinked in surprise. She was staring down at me, her hand resting on my chest right above my breasts, her phone forgotten. Her fingers had even stilled in my hair. How long had I been out of it?
“I like someone,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
She arched a brow at me, her face otherwise unreadable, which I hated. How did she hide everything she was feeling so easily? “Oh?”
I swallowed thickly. Fuck—why had I said anything like that? What the fuck was I supposed to say now? I couldn’t just come out and tell her I liked her, could I? What if it destroyed our friendship? What if she wasn’t into me? Could I handle knowing that?
“Um… yeah.” I roughly cleared my throat and looked away from her, staring at the wall across from her bed, which was covered in pictures of us together. It made my heart ache all while it made me feel all gooey inside. “You know the girl that just came out as pansexual?” I asked, desperately thinking of a way to cover up the slip I made.
“Yeah…” Coralie drawled, impatience staining the single word, but her fingers resumed their movement through my hair, soothing me somehow.
“I think I like her.” It couldn’t be too bad, right? It wasn’t like Brittany, the girl who just came out as pan, would ever know about this little fib.
“I’m pretty sure she’ll be at the party tonight,” Coralie said. I froze, my heart lurching into my throat. No, no no. This wasn’t happening. “I can introduce you to her and attempt to play matchmaker.”
I was going to be sick, but I couldn’t reveal that. I couldn’t tell her I was lying, because then not only would Coralie be angry with me for lying to her, but she’d also demand to know what in the hell was wrong with me, and she wouldn’t stop until she got the truth.
So, I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and jerkily nodded my head, linking my fingers together so I wouldn’t pick at the skin around my nails—a nervous tic I had that Coralie always pointed out. Because, somehow, she always noticed every single little thing about me.
“Sure,” I croaked, still not able to look at her.
She hummed but didn’t say anything else, letting the silence of the room settle over us.
It was a miracle she didn’t hear my heart breaking.
~*~*~
Jessica heaved a sigh, frowning at me. “I don’t even know why you like her. She’s definitely not your type.”
I scoffed, frowning at her through the smoke from my blunt. “And what is my type?” I snapped. Jessica, our friend, was a gorgeous girl with long, wavy dark hair and blue eyes, but she could be a real bitch sometimes. And right now, she was being a royal one. Ever since Coralie told her she was introducing me to Brittany tonight, Jessica had been sour as fuck.
“Chill out—both of you,” Coralie said as she walked up to us, rolling her eyes. She thrust a drink into my hand and took my blunt from me, lifting it to her lips. “Brittany is on the couch over there,” she pointed in Brittany’s direction, “waiting on you. I told her you were interested.”
I sighed, wishing I didn’t feel like vomiting. Woodenly, I turned on my heel and walked away from them, the shattered pieces of my heart sprinkling behind me like glitter. It was the kind of mess that could never be completely cleaned up, and it was all my fault.
Brittany was right where Coralie said she was, her inky-black hair perfectly styled with minimal makeup on her face. She was really fucking beautiful, but only one girl would ever have my heart—whatever was left of it now—and she wasn’t even interested in me.
How sad was it that my best friend—who was also only into girls just like I was—didn’t even fucking want me?
“Hey,” she said, smiling up at me as I set my drink on the table in front of the couch. She patted the cushion beside her, and I sank onto it. “Coralie said you were… interested in me?”
I sighed and forced a smile to my face. She rested her hand on my thigh and leaned into me. “She’s watching us, just FYI. Everyone can see that you’re into her. Why did you tell her you were into me?”
My shoulders dropped the tiniest bit in relief. She pulled back from me, smiling and still keeping up the the facade. “I… I can’t lose her as my best friend,” I quietly admitted.
Brittany tugged me closer and pulled my legs across her lap. “Well, she looks pretty pissed,” Brittany said, nuzzling my neck. I glanced over to where she’d been standing, only to see her and Jessica walking away. My heart dropped to my stomach.
“They’re gone.”
Brittany leaned back from me, her smile dropping. “Why don’t you just tell her the truth? You’re hot as fuck, and from what I’ve seen of you—you know, since we don’t really know each other—you’re sweet. Any girl would be lucky as fuck to have you.”
“I don’t think I’m what she wants,” I quietly confessed. Brittany’s face fell. “She didn’t even seem bothered when I told her I was into you.”
“Oh, honey,” Brittany said softly. She patted my thigh. “Why don’t you go find her? Tell her we didn’t have chemistry.” She smiled at me. “But I’d still love to be your friend.”
I shrugged, feeling a little lighter. “You’re not mad I used you?”
She scoffed. “I got a cute girl on my lap for a little bit. No, I’m not mad.”
I laughed and handed her my phone. She put her number in as I stood up, then texted herself before handing my phone back to me. “I’ll text you tomorrow,” she told me. “Go find her.”
I waved at her, leaving my drink there, and headed off in search of Coralie. Only… I couldn’t find her. Anywhere. Both she and Jessica had mysteriously disappeared.
I stepped outside onto the sprawling front porch of the house the party was being held in, and my stomach dropped when I saw Coralie’s car was gone. Had she seriously left me here? What the absolute fuck! We never left each other at parties. Never.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and began to unlock it so I could call her. My finger was right above the call button beside her name when sirens wailed and blue and red lights suddenly lit up the front yard. My stomach dropped, and horror filled me.
This wasn’t happening. No, no, no.
People rushed out of the house, pouring onto the street to get away. I was knocked to the side, my head hitting the brick siding of the house painfully hard—hard enough to make me a little dizzy. When I blinked my vision clear, I was being spun around, and my arms were roughly yanked behind my back.
Tears filled my eyes and dripped down my cheeks.
Not only had my best friend abandoned me at a party and broken our number one rule, now I was being arrested.
I wished I’d never even opened my fucking mouth earlier today.
