Chapter 1
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Aris' POV
“How is he today?” I ask Trina, a nurse who works at my father’s care home.
Her brown eyes soften and I know exactly what that look means. The creases around her face dip, flashing me a sympathetic smile. “He’s been better,” she admits.
I’d rather her tell me the truth than going in there with bundles of optimism. I’ve been shattered to pieces one to many times, now I like to try and understand how well he is before assuming.
“Has he been eating?”
Trina nods once. “Yes. He even sat and ate whilst watching one of his favourite shows. Even remembered some of the lines which is good to see. Although he seemed a little confused this morning, so maybe take it easy with him today.”
My heart clenches in my chest at her words but I plaster a fake smile across my face. “Sure, of course. Thank you, Trina.”
“How have you been, Aris?” She places a hand on my arm and I glance down at it.
I clear my throat. “I’ve been alright,” I speak quietly. “Just busy working away at the cafe. Not much else to be honest.”
She presses her lips together in a soft smile. “Your father is so lucky to have you.”
“Thanks,” I exhale even though I don’t feel like it.
I wish I could do more to help with his Alzhimers but it’s hard when you earn next to nothing and you’ve got to keep a roof over your own head and food on your plate. It’s been a rough couple of years but I power through. I have to, he’s the last person I want to let down.
Trina steps to the side and I walk down the hall into the communal area. I scan the room to find my father reading an old magazine in the corner of the room. Pressure builds up behind my eyes when I see him because I never know how this is going to go.
Some days he knows who I am, others I might as well be a stranger on the street.
It’s one of the most painful things to ever experience. The thought of him losing his own memories. It crushes me to pieces.
I suck in a breath and push off the floor, walking straight towards him. I don’t bombard him, I pull up a chair beside him and sit. He doesn’t look away from his magazine for a good minute, instead I just watch him with a soft smile.
Being close to him is good enough–sometimes.
No one wants to see their parents deteriorate right in front of them and knowing that there isn’t anything you can do. It’s a new form of torture that keeps you up at night making you wish you could change things you can’t even control.
My father, Peter, lowers his magazine and stares me directly in the face. He has the same dark blue eyes as me. He’s greying slightly on his head but the dark strands are still clear. When I think of my dad, I don’t even think he’s old. He’s in his late fifties and has become a victim to this horrible disease. In my eyes, he’s still young.
“Hello,” he says, placing the magazine onto the coffee table.
The corners of my lips lift. “Hi. How are you doing today?”
“Fine. But the coffee was a bit cold earlier and now they refuse to make me a new one because apparently I never drink it.” He grumbles and I keep smiling because that sounds like my dad, always has something to moan about. “Maybe if they kept the coffee hot, people wouldn’t complain. I’m not the only one, you know? Dorothy thinks so too.”
“I’m sorry the coffee isn’t up to scratch, dad.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Dad?”
My throat tenses at the uncertainty in his voice. “I’m your son. Aris.”
“Aris?” He repeats and makes a face of distaste. “What sort of ridiculous name is that?”
I exhale a quiet laugh, trust him to say something like that. “You always said to mum that it was a silly name. But you let her name me it because she loved Aristotle. Do you remember that?”
My father’s face warps into a look of deep confusion and I curse myself for putting my foot in it. Something like this could easily set him off and it’s the last thing I want. I just wanted to see if I could jog his memory, even the tiniest bit.
“I don’t have a son. Or any children for that matter.”
I lower my eyes because this conversation is making my poorly heart bleed. “Okay,” I whisper lifelessly. “What were you reading about in the magazine?”
“Oh, it was a load of tosh,” he waves his hand in front of his face. “Nonsense gossip columns. I can’t believe people call this journalism. It’s shameful.”
My mouth opens but my father begins to stand up from his chair. “Where are you off to?”
“Ask for another coffee,” he shakes his head angrily. “How dare they say they won’t let me have another one? Who do they think I am? I pay to live here!”
Then he walks away muttering things under his breath and I don’t choose to follow him. I sit back and deflate into the chair. For a few moments I stare blankly at the wall until I feel a presence beside me.
Trina offers me another smile and hands me a cup of water. I thank her and take it. “How did it go?”
“He moaned about coffee and said he doesn’t have a son.” I say quickly before taking a tip of the drink in my hand.
“He’s been moaning about coffee all week,” she sighs. “Hopefully he’ll have a better week next week, Aris. You know he has some funny turns sometimes. Keep at it, I know you’re good at bringing all those memories back.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek. “But when he remembers my mother, he freaks out because he can’t let go of the fact she left him.”
Trina nods understanding my predicament. “It’s not easy but you’re doing a good job. Without you, I fear where his memories would be right now.”
I breathe through my nose sharply. “Because my brother or no one else even bothers to visit him. I don’t understand how they can be so heartless. He never asked for this. He’s always been good to us–when he’s not moaning about tiny things.”
This makes Trina laugh softly. “I’m sorry about that, Aris. But you should take some responsibility for how well he’s been coping. Honestly, without you I know he wouldn’t be in the same place he is right now.”
“Thanks, Trina. I appreciate it.” I glance up at her and smile gently.
After hanging around for a little while longer I decide to head home. I try to see my father as often as possible but some days, like today, it’s best to leave him to it. As soon as I get in my shitty banged up car, my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I glance at the text, noticing that it’s from the hospital.
Dear ARIS,
We’d like to remind you of your hospital appointment on Friday at 11AM for your quarterly check up. It is vital that you attend. If you can’t make the appointment, please ring reception.
I stare down at the message for far too long. I can’t believe another appointment has rolled around again so quickly. My eyes close for a brief second. I feel like I can’t catch a break. I should be grateful for all the hospital is doing with my chronic disease but I can’t help but feel like the world is against me sometimes.
If I could click my fingers and make myself magically better, I would. But instead I’m forever going through appointments, tests, new doctors, new medication. It’s exhausting and I want it all to stop.
When will it stop?
When I get a new heart, dumbass.That or I drop down dead.
I shake my head at such morbid thoughts. Not that they haven’t run through my mind on a daily basis. If I don’t get a new heart within the next year, I probably won’t make it to see my twenty-sixth birthday.
Waiting lists are long.
Waiting lists for specific rare blood types is even longer.
I have no idea how many other people are after hearts with the same blood type as mine. That’s why I’ve been saving to try and go private so I could at least jump the queue. I probably won’t even be able to afford the entire bill but God, I will die trying.Literally.
But it’s not only hospital fees I need to afford, it’s my father’s resistance in a care home.
We had to sell our family home and I used all that money to put him into a special home that will take care of him twenty-four hours a day. The only thing is, it’s so damn expensive that soon I’ll need to start paying for it out of my back pocket and the thought terrifies me.
I won’t even be able to keep myself alive, let alone him.
My head lowers down onto my steering wheel and I groan. “Shit.”
I glance at the clock and twist the keys into the engine so I can make it to Chessman’s on time. The last thing I want to do is work right now but seeing Luca and being distracted with serving customers is exactly what I need.
✲
“You okay?” Luca appears beside me as I turn from the coffee machine. I glance at him and his concerned blue eyes. “You seem super quiet today.”
I nod. “Yeah,” I rasp. “Just had a long morning.”
“Oh, okay,” he says as I pass him by and place a few items in the dishwasher. “Did you visit your dad?”
My throat constricts. “Yeah but I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Of course, sorry.” He dismisses himself with furrowed brows. I stare at the side of his face and let my shoulders drop.
Luca is probably my closest friend right now. Ever since I joined Chessman’s, we bonded in ways I had no idea. I knew him from school but we were never much more than acquaintances. He’s patient and understanding, he’s everything I need in a friend right now.
“Do you know what sucks?” I grumble, attempting to change the subject. “The fact this is like the coldest winter we’ve had in years and I can only have the heating on for like an hour a day.”
“Aris,” his mouth falls open. “That’s not okay. I’m sorry but you’ll make yourself sick.”
I breathe through my nose. “I’m already sick, Luca.”
He presses a hand to his head. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“I know,” I step towards him. “It’s fine. It’s just life at this rate.”
“What about Declan’s brother, Nick? He’s still desperate for a nanny. Declan said he’d bring more details over about it. He’s willing to pay £1,500 a week, if not more! It’s perfect and I know you need the extra money right now.” He says, tilting his head and offering me a supportive smile.
I shrug simply. “I don’t know if I’ll be good enough. Besides, I don’t want to declare my health issues.”
“But you’re stable. You said the hospital gave you the all clear to carry on working as long as you keep up with your appointments and check-ups.” Luca leans back into the counter. “If you’re on top of it, it should be fine. Right?”
I flick my eyes between his. I finally found the courage to tell Luca about my heart disease a few weeks ago and I’m relieved that I told him. He can understand my bad days and when I need to leave early or come late because of appointments.
“I guess,” I murmur. “I’m not entirely sure I have the right experience for it.”
“Well Nick isn’t in a position to be fussy right now,” Luca exhales a quiet laugh. “You’ve worked with kids before. Both me and Declan have seen how well you are with them. I said we can work it around shifts here.”
Sometimes I find I get on better with kids than adults purely for the fact that they live life to the full. They have no regrets, they’re always happy and laughing. It brings out a new light in me that makes me want to fight for my own life.
“I’ll make sure Declan says something to him,” Luca nods before pulling out his phone. “I’ll make it a priority. The last few weeks have been chaotic.”
I nod once. “Thanks, Luca.”
He begins tapping away at his screen and I watch him. It might not be my ideal job but if it gives me enough money to save then maybe it’s the silver lining that I’ve needed all along.
✲
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Author’s Note
Just a heads up that this takes place before the epilogue and before Luca and Aris decide to move in. The timeline worked better that way.
What did you guys think?👉🏼
Ugh, Aris is going through so much and it hurts to see😭😭😭
The interaction with his father and not knowing who he is, breaks my soul
I’m excited to dive into this story, I hope you’re looking forward to it too. It’s definitely going to rip your heart and all your feels out at some point too!❤️🩹
Don’t forget to comment&leave a vote!✨
Love Savanna x
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