Proposal
I woke up sweating again from that horrible nightmare. It took me more than two to three minutes to calm myself down. Only after that did I look down at my sweat-drenched clothes and then at the wall clock, which was showing one a.m.
I sighed heavily and looked at the forest outside. This house has twelve rooms. Among all the rooms in the house, this is the only room with a balcony on the south side and a wide window on the east side from which the forest can be seen. Although I feel lonely at times, this calm environment outside always refreshes my wounded heart.
Though this is the smallest room in the house, it’s still cozy and big enough for a person like me who has always wanted to hide herself in a hole at the end of the day. And it has an attached bathroom to it too. Such heaven!!
I sighed again and let my tired body drop to the soft bed. Only then did I realize that my clothes and I were both totally wet from the sweat. My nose scrunched up in repugnance, and I immediately left the bed. I would prefer washing myself more than washing my bed sheets; so I went towards the bathroom and threw all my clothes in the laundry basket. I opened the shower and let the cold water wash my body thoroughly.
I have dry skin and hair; that’s why I am not a big fan of washing my hair too often, but today, because of sweat, I was not left with any other choice. My mind desperately wanted to think about the past, but I strictly berated myself. For me, other than sleeping and eating, taking a bath is something that is the most pleasurable and necessary thing in my life, and I don’t want to ruin it just because of someone else’s sin.
After thirty minutes, I finally came out of the shower and took out another set of night suits from my wardrobe. I slipped into them and looked at the clock. It was one-forty-five a.m. I dropped the idea of going to sleep now and decided to enjoy the wonderful environment of the night while drinking a cup of tea.
I went into the kitchen and prepared tea for me, then went outside to the backyard of the house. There is a big swimming pool, and I really love to sit beside it while soaking my legs in the serene, cold water.
I took a deep breath and let the cold breeze wash away all the tiredness from my body. My wet hair strands were swaying slightly in the gentle breeze while I took a sip of my tea. ‘I feel like a heroine.’
I chuckled lightly at my thoughts and was about to take another sip of my tea when a heavy male voice startled me. “What are you doing here at this hour?”
I looked back and saw Akhilesh standing in front of the entrance to the garden. I smiled and asked in return for his question, “I can ask you the same question.”
He frowned and came beside me. I knew that he was looking at me, but still, I didn’t spare a glance at him and started sipping my tea calmly. When he didn’t receive any response from me, he let out a frustrated sigh and asked irritably after he sat down beside me, “Huh! You made me ask, didn’t you?”
I replied softly, “I never told you to ask me, did I?”
We both became silent for a few seconds, but this silence was very comfortable. I never told him about my past, and he never asked me anything that would make me uncomfortable. I respected his behavior toward me. I thought as I glanced at his face from my peripheral vision, ‘If it wasn't not for my horrible past, then I would have married him by now.’
“You can look at me directly; I won’t mind.”
Akhilesh’s sudden statement brought me to harsh reality, and I realized that he noticed me staring at him. I blushed furiously and tried to defend myself. “Wh...what are you ta...talking about? I didn’t understand.”
I slapped myself mentally for stuttering so much. I myself revealed it through my actions that I was staring at him and now trying to cover it.
Akhilesh chuckled lightly. “That nightmare again?”
I looked down and nodded slowly. In the past three years, he has come to know me far too well noticed me way too well. He understands my feelings and emotions like the back of his hands, and somehow I knew the reason. But I can’t accept it. My fear about my past won’t let me accept it.
“Mahika.” He called my name very gently, and I held back my breath. The wind stopped blowing a few seconds ago, and it seems like nature too is holding its breath. “I wanted to tell you something. Will you listen to me? And promise that you won’t be angry?” He uttered the lines with the utmost difficulty.
But I fell into a sea of tension. I knew in what direction this discussion would go, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I nodded slowly, and he started explaining, “Mahika, I am not going to beat around the bush. When I first saw you three years ago, I fell in love with you instantly. I didn’t say anything at that time because I knew that you would think I was a pervert, and taking advantage of your helplessness. But I am not. I knew what happened in your past. So I decided to give you enough time to recover and decide for yourself if you wanted to accept my proposal or not.”
I was so shocked that my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. If I remember correctly I never mentioned anything about my past to him, then how is it possible that he already knew it? I looked at him and asked seriously, “Since when?”
He replied seriously, “During your therapy sessions.”
Huh!! What a joke. It means that he knows everything about me from the beginning, and here I am, desperately wanting to hide my past from him.
Maybe he knew I would ask this question, which is why he smiled and covered my small palms with his. “I have never seen a girl as calm and composed as you. I knew that you would ask this question, and don’t worry, you never mentioned anything about your past in front of me. You never played a victim card; you never wanted my pity; you never wanted my attention. Knowing that I am rich, you still never asked anything from me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find out the truth. I have my own ways, and only after finding out the truth, I realized how strong you are. And that’s the reason I fell in love with you. I know you will never depend on me, but still, I want to give you everything.”
I blushed furiously after hearing his confession. I liked each and every word that he said, and of course, he was right; if he proposed to me three years ago, maybe I would have rejected him on the spot, but right now, under the open sky, the situation is different. I think I should give him a chance.
My thoughts were so intense that my hearing ability halted. I came back to my senses when he hugged me very slowly and gently while giving me enough time to push him back. When I didn’t push him back, he whispered softly in my ear, “I will give you everything if you want to.”
Shivers run down my spine. I also want to settle into a strong relationship and get married to a responsible man. I also want to be happy. Should I take this risk? Yes, I will take the risk.
I hesitated but then hugged him very slowly. Though I didn’t utter a word, I knew he would understand my signal. His body froze for a second but then hugged me more tightly after realizing that I accepted his proposal. A smile bloomed on my lips, and I buried my face in his neck.
Akhilesh broke the hug and gently asked me, “Can I kiss you? I won’t if you don’t want it; it’s fine.”
I didn’t want to do it but still decided to say yes after seeing Akhilesh’s hopeful face. “You can, but please be gentle. I forgot how to kiss someone.”
I felt very ashamed of myself after saying this, but it faded away as soon as his forehead touched mine and his voice soothed my heart. “I never blamed you for anything, and I won’t blame you for anything in the future. You should have known that, from now on, you are not allowed to blame yourself either. I love you.”
My heart fluttered at his sincerity because I knew that each and every word he said just now came from the depths of his heart. I nodded in affirmation, only then he gently cupped my cheeks with both of his palms and placed his lips on mine.
At exactly this moment, my whole body shivered violently. Not because of pleasure but because of something else that I couldn’t fathom about. It was a foreboding feeling, a sense of fear that I will never be able to forget. I experienced this same kind of feeling before too, but that time I ignored it because I thought I was overthinking, but now I won’t, and I can’t ignore it. I placed my hands on his chest to push him away from me, but my touch alerted him. Maybe he realized that I wanted him to stop, which he didn’t want to.
His whole body hovered above my small one and forced me to lie down on the cold marble beside the pool. Now his whole body weight is on top of me, and this position is too intimate for my liking. The innocent kiss turned passionate, then it became aggressive.
I felt short of breath. I started to struggle and accidentally opened my mouth. I didn’t realize that he was waiting for this moment; his tongue entered inside and started exploring every corner of my mouth.
I felt helpless. Did I make a mistake again? But he never treated me badly or disrespectfully and I clearly felt the love and sincerity in his words. I know he loves me and there is no doubt about it, so why am I feeling scared or threatened? Isn’t it normal for lovers to be intimate? Then why am I feeling like this?
My thoughts flung away from my brain when he touched my boobs and gave them a gentle squeeze. I felt his hard member on my private part, and unintentionally, a lewd moan left my throat. I desperately wanted to stop it, but my body reacted on its own. I tried to push him, but he was too strong for me.
Akhilesh stopped kissing me, and I started breathing heavily. Before I could say something, his lips moved to my neck, and he started to taste my skin. I gasped for breath when I felt him sucking and licking every part of my neck. I tried to control my moan, but unfortunately, I failed. Tears started to gather in my eyes. I looked at the bright moon and prayed silently, ’God, I don’t know why, but please stop this. I don’t want to ruin my life again, please.”
I stopped struggling and silently surrendered my luck to the heavens. And maybe heaven listened to my prayers because his phone rang. He ignored it the first time, but it rang again. I tried to push him, but to both of our shock, all the landlines in the house, including Akhilesh’s phone, started ringing at the same time.
It was a silent, wintry night; that’s why the sound came too loud. Akhilesh sat up in an instant. In a normal scenario, I am sure he would have growled in frustration, but now he looks as if he is tensed and scared as hell. He received the call and asked, “What?” I don’t know what the opposite person told him, but his expression changed from tension to excitement.
I frowned and observed his expression well, and I was sure he was excited for some reason. This is not something new. In the past three years, I have seen this: whenever all the phones started ringing together, his behavior changed like this. I asked him many times, but he always said it was his friends who liked to prank him by doing this. He told me that they had been doing this trick since childhood when they wanted to meet and have some drinks with him.
I was thinking about this weird excuse when he got up and was about to leave, but suddenly he remembered that I was still there. He came back and gave a light peck on my lips, then uttered softly, “My friends wanted to meet me. I will join you soon, sweetheart; don’t worry. Go to my room and rest.”
I asked back, “Is it that important, even more than me?”
He smiled. “How could I know if I didn’t ask them? Don’t worry, I will tell them not to do this from now on because I am not single anymore. I have my lady love now.”
I blushed after hearing the word ‘lady love’ and he laughed loudly. He kissed my blushing cheeks and said, “Go to my room and take some rest.” I nodded, and he left the poolside and hurriedly entered the house.
The garden side of the house is surrounded by glass, so I had no problem seeing Akhilesh going towards the backside of the house. The smile disappeared from my face almost immediately because I knew that there was no room on that side of the house, only one door to go out, but that door opened straight to the forest, so Akhilesh always kept it close. Then why is he going there now?
I muttered softly while looking in the direction he just left. “I can’t ignore this ominous feeling anymore, because I knew that God gave me this chance to find out the reason why I felt fear when you kissed me. I like you, Akhilesh; maybe I will love you too, but that doesn’t mean I will tolerate injustice towards me. I have already suffered enough, but this time I will ensure that the past won’t repeat itself. I will be the happiest person if my suspicions prove to be wrong. Please don’t break my heart, Akhilesh.” After saying this, I got up and quietly started to follow him.
