The Shadow of Fear

Fear is the insidious villain that plants doubts in our minds, challenging our sanity and hindering our courage. It can also be a persistent echo through which we flee from a dangerous past that still resonates in the depths of our soul, trying to hide behind a thick fog that oppresses our future vision, thus depriving us of opportunities that go beyond our expectations…

It is a silent villain that steals our dreams and opportunities, taking away our determination to face it, just as if it were the canvas of the soul painting with dark colors the fabric from which we are built so that we do not see more nuances that go beyond black...

I feel like there is a counselor whispering, tempting me to abandon my deepest desires, almost as if it were a cold wind that extinguishes the flame of passion, leaving us in that way in the heat of the darkness like a broken mirror that not only cuts, but distorts reality showing fragments of our reflection in such a way that it amplifies even more our bodily dysmorphia, which in the garden of my mind together with the invasive weeds, have hopelessly drowned the flowers that showed other colors of life in an infinitely more beautiful and hopeful horizon…

I don’t know how to escape from him anymore, I know that forced desperation is following me, when will he return to the complex world of love? I think I should never have gotten involved with him...

Despite my age, I ended up being a fool who wants to escape from that sweet sentence, but I feel that if I close my eyes, his gaze will trap me in the abyss, and even if I try to resist, the irremediable prison of torture will captivate me...

I don’t want to be dependent or a victimizer; I want to escape from this labyrinth and find the way out. I intend to escape, but I’m getting scared because in your gaze I find my chains as well as the key to being free. Therefore, now I can say that even if years pass and time disintegrates before me, there will always be someone who will be aware of every detail of my life.

However, it is horrible to feel watched and without escape, although for years I have been learning to overcome it… to manage fear, to clear the weeds from my mind; I want to walk this earth without feeling watched, but sometimes I feel that it is very necessary, as it protects me from outside harm.

Maybe I am the target of someone seeking revenge, because when I was young I lived intensely without fear of death; I am often surprised to discover that this seems like a memory of yesterday, which seems to indicate to me that the fear was always there, only with age it surfaced, becoming the main source of superstition and giving someone else the power to exercise their cruelty over me.

I know that fears can be overcome because they are the beginning of wisdom and the exercise that divides a mind from ignorance, but for people who are shy like me, we know that fear has become an emotional block that does not allow us to love today, because fear is equal to false evidence that seems real with apparent proof, but I am sure that if I want to know the person who implements that fear I do not have to look at what he says, but observe his actions, since justice without love is cruelty and love without justice is simple weakness…