Alias
March 2023.
"Look Quinn, you've got nothing to lose," Nathan shrugged.
"That's easy for you to say, Nate, its not you getting your feet out, is it?!" I defend.
My response earns a chuckle from Nathan. "Trust me, no one wants to see my gargoyle feet. However, your trotters on the other hand, well I've heard there is a market out there interested in them."
"I'm sorry, I just find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone would pay money to buy pictures of my feet. It makes no sense. Why not just google pictures of feet for free?"
"It's called a 'fetish', Quinn. They want to buy pictures from a person they can talk to and establish a connection with," Nathan explains.
"Right, that makes sense... to a degree," I confirm as I scroll down the browser page on my phone. "Yet the fact you claim it is a 'real' fetish is crazy to me. I mean sure, I've heard on social media that women are selling their feet pictures, but I never once thought it was more than a joke, you know? Or at least that It was popular enough to tailor to."
"Just give it a go," Nathan encourages. "It's not like you have to show your face. You're literally just showing your feet off under a fake username. It's not like anyone can identify you from your feet."
"Ugh, fine," I grunt in defeat. "I'll give it a go, but don't expect anything to come from it, alright?"
Present & Background Context
Nathan (at the time of writing) is my boyfriend of four years. I often find myself being pushed into things I find to be uncomfortable by him. Sometimes it appears beneficial, but other times he makes it seem as it I have no choice. He often presents me with ultimatums such as 'do this or i'll leave you'.
Whilst an onlooker would suggest I remove myself from such a relationship, and whilst I would agree without being given any context or experiencing such myself, that suggestion and advice is unfortunately not so easy to accept. Why, you ask?
Well, to begin with, I possess crippling anxiety that has built up over the years from a previous relationship and made worse with the current one. There is also the fact that children are involved. Two children from a previous relationship and one recent addition being his own. The ultimatum situations mentioned earlier, well, this was one of those occassions. "Make money or I'm leaving you".
Now, perhaps this attitude could be acceptable within the right context, and it may appear as If I am consistently defending his actions, but rather I am presenting any and all relevant information that may, if at all, be important when coming to a judgment. Not that a judgment is needed of course, but it tends to happen these days anyways.
I want to keep this short because believe me, elaborating on my relationship with Nathan to a larger extent word create a whole new story of its own.
In March 2023, I was a full-time student with parental responsibilities. I begun my law degree in 2020. I chose to study law to prevent myself from working in retail or anywhere else I'd be unhappy. I wanted to create a future for my children where I could provide for them comfortably. I needed a career that would keep my mind challenged and stimulated. I wanted to make a difference to the way legal advice and help was accessed.
Nathan on the other hand, had recently obtained a work from home Job, but any income he made was not contributed towards the household if you like. He'd claim the small amount he was earning was going towards his car payments and debts. That was a good enough excuse for him. Me studying full-time was not an excuse not to earn and provide. So here I was, giving in and jumping to his tune, about to begin selling feet pictures on the side just to eradicate his money concerns. Did I have any monetary concerns myself? No. Not particularly. Sure, we'd not long begun getting used to life after COVID and now there was a cost-of-living crisis, but it was not something that concerned me to the same degree as it did him. That could be due to him being raised by millionaires and so this sort by reality was not a comfortable one for him. That being that all financial issues are to be faced by yourself and not left to your wealthy parents. Who knows what truly goes through the mind of a manipulative and controlling guy though?
March 2023.
I scroll back up the homepage and locate the 'signup' tab and immediately begin filling in the empty fields.
"It's requesting my full legal name, but I do not want to reveal my identity," I hesitate briefly.
"Enter your real name and birthdate, Quinn, that is for admin and tax purposes, no one else will be able to see those details, trust me."
"Hmm, right... Okay." I nod in agreement. "How do you know so much about all this anyway?" I question his suspicious knowledge on the subject.
"Because I've seen loads of stuff about it online, like on Reddit and stuff," he confesses.
"Reddit... that Sounds about right," I roll my eyes.
"What?" Nathan questions with a puzzled expression.
"Nothing" I evade, continuing to enter my details on the sign up page. "Right, it is asking for a username which will be displayed publicly," I attempt to change the subject.
Nathan glances over at my phone screen. "Yeah, so just put anything for now, you can always change it later."
"No." I disagree. "I should think about this. I need to create an online persona which reflects a part of the 'real' me. A persona I can use as I mean to go on with. I don't want to pretend I'm a nurse or someming, that is far too much effort to keep up with."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, creating a persona around a profession or topic I'm unfamiliar or unknowledgeable about would be ridiculous, especially if this ever takes off. There ain't no way I'm wasting time researching an unfamiliar subject when I can just use an authentic and knowlegeable one. I'll stick to what I know."
"You're thinking too much into it," Nathan shakes his head before standing up and leaving the room.
I ignore his comment. He's pushing me into this, but I'm going to do it my way. It's my dignity on the line here, not his.
A sigh escapes my lips as I allow my body to slump backwards into the chair. Do I use something I aspire to become? Or do I use a similar profession? If I use something in-between the both like a 'secretary', I could make that 'sexy' and fit it in around the whole 'kinks and fetishes' theme of the website.
I ponder for a few moments. Nathan belives I'm wasting my time thinking about this, but I honestly believe it will save me time in the future. I believe a secretary profession would definetly work. Secretaries can be hot, right? Oh , I know... how about 'SexySecretary'? I think to myself.
Seconds later I already regret that thought. Ew, no. That sounds incredibly cringy and generic!
I let out another large sigh before bringing the palm of my hand to my forehead and leaning the weight of my head into it. Right, Quinn, try again, but less embarrassing, more empowering.
I sit myself up straight, and furrow my eyebrows in concentration. SluttySecretary? SophisticatedSecretary? Or... perhaps, SecretarySecrets? "Ugh! Why is this so difficult?" I frustrate.
I take a few moments to collect my thoughts and bury my frustration before the perfect username finally comes to me.
That's it! 'SultrySecretary!' It's perfect. It uses the word and profession 'secretary' but combines that naughty and suggestive word 'sultry' to lure and entice users into approaching me. Or, at least that is the hope and desired intention. If this username does not piqued their curiosity, then I'm not sure what will?!
I finish completing the sign up process along with submitting my identification for processing.
After doing so, I'm automatically navigated to my profile page where I am prompted to begin setting it up.
Right, a profile picture would be a good start I suppose...
A wave of excitement overtakes me briefly as I get up from the kitchen chair and head towards the bedroom.
This should be relatively easy, I claim, digging my hands through my nylons and tights draw. "I can take a photo, chest downwards, displaying one of my blouses, skirts, heels and nylons. That will surely capture the whole secretary vibe."
Ater rummaging through my draws and heels collection, I locate a simple red blouse, the shade of a dark red wine, a glossy satin material. A charcoal grey pencil skirt with a side slit tracing up the thigh area, a pair of black lace-top stockings and a basic, yet classic, pair of pointed and glossy stiletto heels.
I get changed into the outfit and apply a daring red lip for added effect. Whilst I will not be showing my face, I think a naughty little lip tease provides a suggestive demeanour. First impressions mean everything.
Right, let's do this. I sit within my white leather swivel chair, roll it towards the large standing mirror in the corner of my room, bring up and cross one of my legs over the other ensuring a teasing glimpse of stocking top beneath the slit of my skirt iscon display. I then place the phone in front of my face and begin taking mirror selfies, my red curled lip showing off ever so slighty from the side. My long Brunette hair still had waves present within it from where I styled it prior. If anything, where the curls had flattened and become wavy, it offered a more natural look.
After taking multiple shots, I roll myself back towards my desk and go through each snap, favouriting any I was happy with and deleting the unsuccessful shots. I do this a few times until I finally narrow the favourite selection down to a couple of photos. I select one of the photos and make some minor editing adjustments such as lighting and applying an elegant filter style before finally uploading it as my profile picture.
For the next hour or so, I worked on adding a short bio to my profile and creating a dedicated photo album for close up feet pictures. Fortunately, I had not long painted my toenails. My go to colour was a simple black. Whilst I enjoyed the colour, particuarly so in the summer as it accompanied most outfits well, my sister always made a point in expressing the opposite. "They look awful," I believe her comment was last summer. Each to their own though, right? Let's just hope the users on this website do not share the same opinion as my sister on this subject!
Before uploading my first album, I had to research the typical rates that ladies charged per picture as I was honestly clueless. Funnily enough, sources such as Reddit were a huge help! Some users even went as far as providing tables and charts detailing the average guide price for different services. That's right, services. Some of these lists contained sexting services, voice calls, video calls and more. For now however, my focus is on selling feet pictures and feet pictures alone. I was already in over my head with this daunting experience, I didn't need to add to it.
After uploading my first feet pictures album and a profile picture, I logged off for the rest of the day whilst I awaited for my identification to be verified.
I didn't expect what happened next when I logged in the following morning...
