Chapter 1
My parent’s divorce was a disaster, the step to the divorce was worst. On Sunday evening, my father came to the house to get the rest of his clothes. He was dropping things that landed with a thud, cursing and shuffling his feet. I was lying on the couch and noticed that the hole from New Years Eve two years ago still hasn’t be fixed. My Uncle Frank, drunk and slurring assured us that he could open the champagne. He shook and opened it up making the cork crack the ceiling. Everyone was half drunk like him and found it hilarious. The next day, my Mom took one look and didn’t find it funny at all. Dad retreated down the stairs with his boxes, clearing his throat.
“So that’s it I guess.”
His hair was still smooth and black but was starting to be peppered with gray. He was in his mid-forties but looked younger. Some people thought he was our older brother when he was with my brother Jakcob and I.
“Beatrice... I just want to. Nothing is going to change between us okay? I’m still going to be with you and help with whatever you need.”
I got from the couch and walked towards him. His eyes were bloodshot and I thought for a minute it could be from crying, but I remembered Dad liked to stay up late reading. When I was little, I would take my Amelia Beldia books and read near his feet. While I read, he would pass me peanut brittle until I fell asleep.
All I could do was nod in return and he pulled me in for a hug, his body always internally warm no matter the weather. He unattached the house keys from his lanyard and placed it in the glass bowl. He left through the garage door silently and I heard him turn the car on, and drove away. I felt the stinging in my fingers and heels. This has been happening since last year, the leaving and complete silence from my Dad. Or the screaming matches that would last for hours on end. I was used to it; I would attempt to convince myself since I was about nine years old. But, this reaction told me differently.
“Fuck it.” I whispered and headed out on my own
**
I walked over to Estella ’s house, my best friend. We were two months apart; our mothers got pregnant around the same time. Estella was a miracle baby, her mother tried for years to get pregnant and was put on waiting lists for adoption. She stopped trying and suddenly Estella turned up unexpected but very wanted, something her mother stressed to her for our sixteen years. Estella ’s parents divorced when she was four years old and her father wasted no time to move out and remarry. Susan, her step-mom had another child from her previous relationship, Jimmy. They got along despite the tensions between the two families. She was lying on the porch; her brown legs spread and had her arm over her face.
“Hey.” She mumbled, she was wearing her green binki I gave to her when I outgrew it.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Because only us two would be up before noon during the last week of August.” She propped herself on her shoulder. Her freckles covered legs and face, and light brown eyes shined brightly in the sun. Her father was Irish, and she got her deep red hair from him. Besides that, she looked like mother from her slim figure and height. I was on the short size, so her being 5’6 was a lot to my 5’2.
“My Dad got the last of his stuff today.” I sat down next to her, music playing softly from her iPod.
“Man, I’m sorry Bea. Did he say anything to you?”
“Said he was going to be here for me, nothing was going to change.”
She moved in closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “If it helps, at least your Dad said that, and means it. Mine just left without saying much. He lives literally ten minutes away and is more concerned with his new wife and baby so.” She shook her head ,curly hair coming out her ponytail.
“You got your mom and Jimmy and most importantly me.” I grinned.
“True, if I didn’t I would go crazy.” She answered lying back down.
We flipped through magazines, lamenting on the fast summer, and debating whether we should join more clubs this year. We were about to go inside, when her name was called. It was her boyfriend, Zach waving to us, his skateboard in one hand. She waved back and ran across the street to him. She jumped up in his arms, both laughing and kissing. They have been together since last year, and I was certain that would be sappy high school sweethearts.
“Hey Beatrice! Don’t be shy come on over” Zach called out.
I got the off the first step but quickly stopped when I saw Nate, my ex-boyfreind coming down the street with his skateboard. I watched him, taller now and his dark hair cut and sideburns matched his face perfectly. The four us were always together since 1st grade, Zach and Nate and I had had the birthday month of October but they were a couple weeks older then me.. Last year, Estella convinced me to join the cheerleading team and they were on the basketball team. Zach and Estella were instantly drawn to each other, but I saw Nate only as a friend. He had the deep brown eyes and dimples, most of the girls went crazy for. But, still for me he was my best friend, pending hours with me on the phone while I cried about the latest fight my parents had. He told me he wanted to be a journalist and and we travel the world together.
When Zach and Estella became official, Estella was not subtle to try to set us up. After a while, I did give in and we became a couple. Everything was in sync for once. Zach understood but six months in, he wanted more and I knew I didn’t want to, but again I convinced myself otherwise. But, things changed after that. He was more aggressive and this time I knew to end it. I broke up with him during winter break which he did not take well. He threatened to tell the whole team that I was sleeping around and other lies, but Estella injected countered by leaking his experiment with drugs during a senior winter party, which would have led to him being kicked off the team. He relented but always snickered with his teammates when I walked by him the hallway. Zach tried to patch things up, but it came to the point I couldn’t form sentences around Nate without wanting to punch in the face. So, we just agreed to avoid each other at every cost, which wasn’t always easy.
“Hey Nate.” Mumbled Estellaa glancing at me. She mouthed sorry.
“Zach, we have early practice today, don’t forger.” He looked over at me. “What, no hello?” he smirked
“Shut up, Nate.” Hissed Estella.
“Nate, come on.” added Zach, his hands still on Estellaa ’s hips.
“All right, all right I’m joking. Let’s just go.” He started on his skateboard.
Zach gave Estellaa a quick kiss, and followed suit. Estella walked towards me and put her arms on my shoulder.
“You okay?”
“He is such an asshole.”
“I’m sorry that he still is around, you would think Nate would get a hint.”
“Not Zach’s fault, besides they are teammates so its for the sanctity for the team or whatever.”
“You got a heart of gold Beatrice.” She linked my arm through hers and went into her house.
**
I stayed at Estella ’s until the porch lights went on and headed back home to get ready for dinner. I lived in Violetbarrow, a suburb in Delaware which was near the beaches and ports. The neighborhood consisted of upper-class families, most of them been around for generations. Houses were built the same, some you could see the fancy artwork and chandlers, usually on during dinner. It was all about country clubs, private schools, and what college your children were going to. I slid my key in the slot, the smell of food filling my nose. My mother and Grandmother were in the kitchen, their voices high and blended.
“Beatrice, there you are honey.” Grandma Deborah with her dark rich skin and eyes with wrinkles around them, was known as the fixer in the family. When my mom got pregnant at seventeen, she was kicked out the house when she refused adoption. Grandma took her in, did everything to make sure Mom finished high school, get into college, and stay in Violetbarrow. Mom said that while she pregnant, her and Dad hardly fought but it was soon after Jakob was born that things got worse. She said the stress of both of them trying to finish school and making sure to be there for Jakob was too much for them.
“Where did you go?” she asked. She placed a kiss on my forehead fixing the cress in my dress.
“To Estella’s. What’s for dinner?”
“Pizza didn’t really have time to cook.” Mom said.
She was medium-height, russet- brown skin, and dark brown eyes. Just like Dad, she was in her early 40’s but looked about 25.
“Your Dad stop by?” She smiled tensely.
“Um, yeah just to get his stuff.” Grandma exchanged a look with her. “It’s for the best Ellie. Trust me it’s hard, but you will see.”
“I say we make a toast; to carrying on together.” She raised her glass of wine, Grandma with hers, and mine of ginger ale. Dinner was in front of the TV, watching dramatic Lifetime movies. After, we cleaned up and I retreated in my room. My bed was left unmade from this morning and flopped into the sheets, face down. I felt like two weeks has past by rather than hours. I was about to doze off when Grandma knocked on the door.
“Beatrice, you have a minute?” I shook my head no and rolled over to my side.
“Bea…There is someone I want you to meet.”
“Grandma now is not a good time.”
I thought she would walk out, but she waited and groaned and straighten myself up. I was taken aback to see someone next to her. He was about the same height as Zach, a couple inches taller. He had tan skin, and jet black hair. We were a couple steps apart but I could see his vivid hazel eyes looking around at room and back at me. He had a sleeve of tattoos that blended nicely which I zeroed in feeling my face getting hot.
“Beatrice, this is Patrick. He is Pastor Kip’s nephew. He is staying with him for the school year. I thought it would be nice if you two got to know each other before school started.” She patted his shoulder and left abruptly. I strangled out a noise but it was too late. The boy shifted in the doorway, still looking around.
“You can, um. Come in.” I said sheepishly.
He walked in slowly, the light shone on his tattoos and I saw a glimpse of a snake, scrawling of a name, and a radio. He stopped my posters of Bob Dylan, Maya Angelou , and Rent. On my nightstand, there was a picture of Estellaa and me in our cheerleading outfits. Her arm was waving a pom-pom shouting happily after the basketball team won their third game. I had one arm around her waist, laughing back at the camera.
“I didn’t even hear the door knock or the bell.” I finally said. He cocked his head at the picture and cleared his throat.
“We went through the back. Well, I did. Kip had something to do at the church .” His voice was deep and comforting. He scratched at his scruff.
“Do you like it here?” he asked. He sat on the edge of my bed, my Little Mermaid sheets poking through.
“Yeah, I guess. I was born here, never been anywhere else. Well, that’s not true I visited my brother Jakob in Paris. He lives there so, I visited. Because he lives there.” Nerves were a bitch and I felt my stomach turn into itself. If I could imagine what close perfection looked like, it would be him.
“Paris seems amazing.”
“I-“
Grandma called from downstairs for Patrick to drive him home.
“Well, maybe I will see you around. In school or something.” He got up, his pants nearly sagging of his hips, skinnier then any boys around here.
“Yeah, maybe.” I said a final and sad attempt to not end the conversation. He went down the hall and I heard him say goodbye to my Mom. I prayed that I didn’t see him before school at the same time I wouldn’t mind another up close look. I turned on the TV, just in time for Law and Order Marathon. As I adjusted myself to get comfortable, I almost fell off. A little bit of my dress was tucked in the side of my underwear, revealing my underwear with the yellow ducks pattern.
Grandma probably didn’t see because she would have gestured, but Patrick for sure did. And it couldn’t even be a cute one with a bow, or mature, sexy black. I rolled over, going under the covers. I wasn’t for sure coming out until Christmas.
