Rhino Sloth

I stood before a reinforced transparent glass over-looking Central Park, i realized this soon after i had tried to push it open so that i could escape and it had now been the fifth time i had wiped sweat off my forehead. I could hear my heart thumping vigorously against my chest like an African ritual drum; my hands were sweating just as well as the rest of my body, my carotid artery stood arrogantly in the middle of my neck screaming for attention as the color slowly drained from my face. I was so nervous; i could tell i was dying.

“Rhino! Rhino?”  My agent Andrea’s voice pierced through my nervous breakdown, “They are ready for you.”

They that she mentioned were a thousand reporters impatiently waiting for me in the conference room to grill me with a million questions about my debut novel. All my dreams of ever becoming a New York Times Best-selling author had come true with my first novel, my first hello to the world.

With a million copies selling nation-wide in the first month of its release, i was famous, i was finally rich and famous.

To understand how a 21 year old from nowhere ended up in one of the fanciest hotels in New York City, just about to have his first press conference, I have to take you back to where it all started, at the beginning of my story.

I was born an only child with an unusual name, Rhino Sloth to be exact. The name Sloth was given to my Great Great Grandfather in his early adulthood years after he had proven to be disadvantaged in speed at almost everything he did and for a shoemaker you can imagine how easy it was for him to have a nickname as a target on his back. However, my first name was more of an

after-effect of what happens when one of your parents, my mother in this case spends half of a lifetime studying and fighting for the conservation of Rhinos in various parts of Southern Africa. I figured she gave me that name as a souvenir for herself, since she could not have an actual Rhino in her backyard. The fact that we already had an association with an animal, that being our last name did not mean much to her, if my mother wanted something so bad she developed a sort of tunnel vision, nothing else mattered except for what she wanted and I’m pretty sure that’s one of the many reasons why my Father fell in love with her.

I was born in Upstate New York, in the small town of Oneonta. In my early years as a child, i had my first experience with a book, it was a novel by Enid Blyton, since i could not read at that time the adventure series were read to me with either one of my parents and i immediately developed a deep affinity with the gentle magic of literature. Even at school when we had those little exercises that got us talking about what we sought out to be i’d always say ‘Writer’ and i’d always write as well. My peers during middle school going into high school changed their ideas about the person they would be in the future from Pilot to Astronaut to Scientist but i was stuck on what i wanted to be, a writer and nothing else.

Having been born an only child, it was not easy to make friends in a small town like mine, until one day when i had just finished receiving a scolding from my math teacher for doing something irrelevant to the lesson and not participating in class. A voice shouted from the back of our classroom,

“Let the writer write!”  For some reason everyone laughed

“Who said that?”

The already furious teacher asked and like always the teacher’s pet, Benita took it to herself to rat the voice out,

“It’s Kingsley sir, he said that.”

Immediate silence fell upon our classroom, i looked back at Kingsley, i had never talked to him before but i knew he was one of the cool kids and well that was the reason why we had never talked. There was sort of a pyramid scheme at our high school and boys and girls like Kingsley were on top of it, they played sports, drove cars and alcohol, the alcohol however was driven through their body one way or the other. At the bottom of the pyramid lay the miscreants, misfits, the ones that served the idiots on top or for many unusual reasons wished to be up or above the hierarchy. I liked to think that if my high school social life was classified i’d be either in the middle of the pyramid or not at all. My indifference towards high school culture or common ethics made me feel like i was invisible, so when Kingsley said something about me that i personally thought no one paid any particular attention to, i realized that i wasn’t invisible, i was just silently alive and he would soon change that.

“Kingsley and Sloth!” Mr Kenneth, our teacher’s voice boomed with demanding command, “Please see yourself out of my class.”

We both knew we were going for nothing else but detention, it was my first time being punished on school grounds but Kingsley’s facial expression when our fate was decided by the Principal told me he was probably tired of it, right after we had served our sentence for a good three hours, Kingsley looked at me and said

“Sloth next time don’t write in class, because i can’t help but quote my favorite show.”

I looked at him with curiosity and amazement strewn all over my face “You watch ‘Just Magazine’ too?” i asked immediately.

“Yes, mostly for that pretty girl Isabella,”

He said the name ‘Isabella’ while imitating a Mexican accent, i laughed, he was funny, and i could see why people liked him.

“But also because, i want to earn bank, big bank” he continued, “So one day I want to work on Wall Street and ‘Just Magazine’ has a lot of episodes about that so yeah”

“Yeah it’s really weird, i mean for a show about authors and poets you’d figure it’ll have more to do with libraries and book events, but yeah i guess adding life on Wall Street was art.” I added in.

Kingsley chuckled and said, “Sloth what are you doing tonight?”

“What do you mean?” I asked obviously confused.

“Pshht who am i kidding, come to my house after six, it’s corner fifth and Crescent; i have tons of episodes from season six. I just got em yesterday and I’m pretty sure you haven’t even seen one yet.”

“Well yeah i haven’t seen any episode from season six mostly because it came out yesterday, where did you get it?” i asked urgently.

“Your answer is in your question” he replied.

“What?” i reinstated.

“Remember right after six,” he said, as he walked away

“Don’t be late Sloth.”

“But it’s a school night dude!” I shouted, since the distance between us had grown, he got in his car and then drove around the parking lot to get to where i was and then he looked at me while putting on his aviators and said

“I don’t care.” he grinned and then drove away.

“Wow” i said to myself, “Now that's something that doesn't happen every day.”

When i got home it seemed no one was around yet so i took a bath and then i started working on a story i had been writing for a few weeks, somehow i kept thinking about the invite i had just gotten, knowing how many kids from my school would kill to be in my place right now, for a moment i truly knew what it felt to be a “normal” millennial. I let out a heavy sigh then a familiar voice interrupted my current dilemma.

“Whoa son, what’s that about?”

“Hie mom” i replied, “Where’s Dad? You two are always together,” I asked with a bit of sarcasm in my tone.

“He’s downstairs, your father insisted on making dinner tonight so he is getting ready,” she said while taking a seat on my bed then she continued, “Now that you know the whereabouts of my husband, tell me what’s bothering you Rhino?”

“Okay I’ll tell you,” i gave in once she started making puppy dog eyes, “So this kid from school invited me to his house today and he’s one of the popular kids and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that kind of life yet.” then i stopped to listen to what she was going to say.

“What do you mean that kind of life Rhino? the kind of life where you have friends?”  She asked in a way that implied that she felt sorry for me and then she continued, “Come on son you’re almost nineteen, graduation is just around the corner after that you’re off to college and you never go out, you practically  act as if you’re invisible but you're not and this invite is all the proof you need that you can fit not fit in, but fit as in being a part of something like a friend group or something…cults and gangs do not count.”

“She’s right,” my father chimed in casually, “You never go out. I’m beginning to think you are one of those people, the hips, uhmm the hippies. You know, those guys that end up living alone and sleeping in threadbare hammocks, hugging trees in their fifties amongst other weirdly desirable slash undesirable things.”

I let out another sigh then i said “Dad? Why does this sound like something you’ve been meaning to say?”

“Stop deflecting and for the record it is, for the both of us” Mom said and then she reiterated, “You should go baby.”

“You already took a bath right?" Dad asked giddily, “All you have to do is put on some nice clothes and get ready for this party, i’ll drive you, you know what, i’ll even give you the car for the night."

If there was one thing my parents were good at it was pressuring me into doing something.

“Well it’s not a party,” i said as if to remind him, “he wants us to binge watch Just Magazine so...”

“So what?” Mom asked, “Just go isn’t that one of your favorite shows?”

“Plus you know what they say,” Dad chimed in while moving out of the room, “A writer is the sum of his or her experiences.”

Then Mom held me on my shoulder as she got up and then said, “So go out there and have yourself some experience.”

“I can see why you two are married,” i said laughing.

“Why thank you” she said dramatically then continued, “I’m going to help your father in the kitchen, remember to say goodbye on your way out okay?”

I finished getting ready for the “party” i said my goodbyes and then i headed out to the garage. Dad followed me on my way out, he then patted me on my shoulder and tilted his head while whispering in strides,

“Remember everything - you’ve - ever – wanted - is on the other side of fear, all you have to do is not be afraid of the girl and - not – get – her – pregnant - at the same time.”

“What? Dad is this your version of the talk?” i asked while laughing at him.

“Well how did i do?” he asked closing my door.

“Not bad actually, but unfortunately tonight is not that night, it’s just me hanging out with some guy, maybe some other time in the future i’ll use your tip”

“Well if he is as popular as your mom said then believe me he just pulled a prank on you,”

“You think so?” I asked.

“I know so; now go have some fun and try not to come back in the next thirty minutes.” He said smiling

When i got at fifth and Crescent i heard loud circular music playing and i immediately knew that my Dad was right and Kingsley had just, well to put it lightly pranked me. I pulled up on the curb and headed for the party, i didn’t know what was going to happen but what kind of life would i be living if i was always in the driving seat all the time.

Kingsley answered the door right after i finished knocking and the moment he said “Get in” as i was walking through the doors of his parent’s house, i was also walking into his life and he was forcefully and confidently making his way into mine and i honestly did not mind because this writer had just stumbled upon a new experience.

“Okay so what’s happening?” I asked dryly, “This looks different from what you told me earlier on, this is a party; you said nothing about a party.”

Kingsley looked at me with a smirk on his face, he seemed to be relishing the fact that he had just pranked me; i shook my head as my facial expression displayed my frustration to get him to explain. He put his hand on my shoulder and walked me a few steps away from the door and then he said,

“Look man, if i told you that there was a party you probably wouldn’t have showed up,” and then he paused to look at a girl who was wearing a tight pink top that seemed to be struggling to hold in her breasts, as she passed right in front of us she winked at me seductively,

i felt a strange sensation in my crotch that made me feel slightly uncomfortable and miserably anxious.

Kingsley noticed this and then he laughed and took his chance to win me over

“But if you just wanted to show up for Just Magazine i’ll run upstairs right now to get my flash drive and then walk you to your car.”

He turned around to see the girl disappear into the crowd. I looked at him with disbelief, it made me laugh that he was trying to use reverse psychology on me, even though it was working, i didn’t like how it made me feel mildly stupid, so i hesitated to reply and then he immediately saw that he now had the upper hand.

“That’s what i thought.” he said confidently and i couldn’t help but roll my eyes, “Follow me Sloth, i need to introduce you to some people.”

As i walked behind him, i looked around the house, activity saturated each space, to my left there was a couple kissing on top of a beer pong table, to my right there was some sort of an initiation going on, i cringed and then I quickly looked away. The more i tried to focus on something that wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable i failed miserably.

“Sloth heads up!” Kingsley shouted at me so that i could pay attention to the beer can that was aimed at me in midair.

I didn’t know what i felt about drinking beer, but i had to try it out to actually come out of this place with an actual experience, so i pretend like it wasn’t my first time and then i caught the beer can as if I was familiar with it.

“Nice catch!”

I turned around to see whose voice it was, the face was familiar as was every face that was now looking at me. I hadn’t talked to any one of them before but i just knew about them through them from school. I felt a bit nervous standing in front of them as they looked at me with piercing eyes that seemed to see through me.

“Okay so this is my man Rhino and i think he’s going to replace Byron.”

After Kingsley finished introducing me he looked at me as if we had had this discussion before, patted me on my shoulder and then he went on to sit down, everything seemed to move in slow motion from that point on, i felt as if i had been installed in the most unpleasant situations of all and in all honesty i was, i didn’t know what to say or what to do but my supposedly knew friends looked at me as if they had paid to see my performance, so the only thing I was supposed to  do was to not disappoint them. I moved a bit closer to where they were sitting and then i said

“I’m Rhino” I smiled nervously as I realized that I had just reintroduced myself. i felt like i could melt away with embarrassment and then suddenly all the attention was shifted from me to the girl who had just walked in to the party, for a moment the music seemed to play in reverse she was cinematically radiant and devastatingly beautiful and she also seemed to be walking right up to me, she circled me predatorily as if she was a Shark and for the first time outside my parent's house i felt weak and emasculated.