Full Throttle Moon

Odlaw Strype squinted his eyes, then scoffed and pulled his goggles back down. His pack had been looking into an intrusion into their territory. He now had all the proof he needed to call a war council. Their abandoned Quonset huts were being used by some filthy road pirates for a chop shop. The pirates didn’t know how to read, he guessed. He straightened his back, grimaced, and took a long gulping drink from his army surplus canteen. His hog, Tusker Deux, was waiting. Ol’ Tusker was a Honda, and some riders would rib him for riding a foreign bike, but he smiled at all of them. They didn’t know Tusker was literally a speed demon. Tusker Deux was pig straight outta Hell, part and parcel of Odlaw’s pact with the dark lord. Asmodeus would be dining on road pirate soon.

The smoke from their armadillo roasts filled Pepperoni Sioux’s nostrils. Pepperoni was Lakota, born and bred, but she’d forsaken allegiance to all nations when she pacted to the dark lord. Sacrificing her stepmother to the dark lord had been her first murder, and it only got easier afterward. Strype had called for war council, and she was curious to learn what he’d found. Her own searches, listening to the wind and the cacti, had found scraps of fiberglass or whatever garbage modern cars were made from. Fuel efficiency she understood, but what cost, man? She kicked Intercourse Hack Seyjack softly. “Hack, don’t let out meat burn, y’hear? Momma’s gotta piss.” Intercourse Hack Seyjack tried to hide their yawn. “I was just fixing to take the steaks off the fire, Pepp, honest.” Pepperoni Sioux walked away to do her part to freshen up their war camp’s territory markings. She rubbed her wolf skin belt and spoke the profane words to take wolf form and trotted away on four legs.

Intercourse Hack Seyjack was called that because they had been born in Intercourse, Pennsylvania. They wanted to be easily distinguished from the other, Hack Seyjack, who was from Tupelo. Did he have to go around calling himself Tupelo Hack Seyjack, though? No. No, make the neuchacho take the regional derivative of the moniker. Typical. Neuchacho was their own word. Hack was Pennsylvania Dutch, so didn’t feel right claiming Two Souls, like Pepp had suggested back before they had consolidated as a pack, and taken their monikers. Hack wasn’t on that man/woman trip like so many other folk during this benighted decade. Hack was true to their word, and did take the meat off the heat. It was just the right level of juicy to make Odlaw smile that special smile he had. They’d only seen that smile when fighting or fucking, or, eating good, juicy, flesh. Oh, but Mr. Strype could MOVE Hack, if you can but dig that trip. Hack for their part had humped the whole pack before anyone else could make the claim. The neuchacho was their Chain, from there forward. Satan would show no mercy to any fool who spoke ill of the neuchacho within their pack’s earshot. They weren’t much for rules, but one of them was agreed to be, Our Chain is what binds us and Our Chain is sacred. Fucketh thou NOT with our Chain, or our fangs will find you, and you had better DIG that particular trip all the way to Hell. This had been proven on more than two occasions, and Hack was bolder than brass. Intercourse Hack Seyjack would look Queen Liz the Two dead in her face, war hero or no. Hack would put their boots on any table they so chose, dig it. But, ol’ Hack didn’t talk back to Pepp. Nobody in their pack used bullshit Greek alphabet soup in conversation, not even Geek the Greek, who was actually Turkish, but Pepperoni Sioux was Number One Bottom Bitch for the whole American West, and had been since nineteen-fucking-tickety-two. She was bigger than queen size, badder than any hatter, and she put scorpion blood in her pancake batter. You never ate until you ate flapjacks that glowed under a black light, my one true mandingo.

Pepp smelled rain, but, she knew the dark lord loved his jokes. She didn’t bother telling anybody when she returned to camp. True to their word, the neuchacho took good care of the meat. Pepp loved Hack, but sometimes she felt jealous of their Chain.

Yeah, Pepp was Momma, and didn’t want to be Chain, but mandingo did it chap her nips sometimes when she thought about the neuchacho having the best tits in the pack. They never wore a bra and the damned things laughed at gravity. Still in wolf shape, she sniffed Legion Mark Seven’s ass. She was sure of something else. Mark had colon cancer. She couldn’t pretend anymore. Their Drag was going to dance with Asmodeus soon. Part of the pact meant they couldn’t set foot in hospitals, and no way would the dark lord’s magic heal cancer. The upcoming Big Ride would probably be Mark’s last. He’d probably see to it personally. She whined and turned human to tell him. Legion Mark Seven took the news with a gentle stoicism. “I figured I’d catch something nasty from Agent Orange.” he said, then returned his attention to filling up the water cans.

The pack ate, and when the stars were just beginning to come out, Odlaw called the council to order. He held up the cactus rattle that was their pack unity fetish. He shook it a few times before setting it down. The needles pricked his hand like they always did, but none came away in his skin or made him bleed more than a drop, either. “We had reason to suspect we had people pissing on our porch, and I found ’em today.” Odlaw looked into the fire instead of anybody’s eyes. “Pepp found some car scraps, Mark found some motor oil, and I saw with my own two eyes some people in our Quonset huts that we acquired from the army. Sure we weren’t using them, yet, but ours is ours. These people are road pirates. They steal cars and chop them for parts in our damned huts. Now, I don’t know what the dark lord tells you in your visions, but he tells me that pirates get no mercy. Pirates shouldn’t expect any, neither. Sacrificing some pirates ought to set a good tip on our scales before our Big Ride. Momma, did the dark lord tell you where we’re going for our Big Ride?” Strype asked, looking at the eye tattooed on her right forearm.

“Sure he did, Point Man. Before the New Moon, we get into Fort Huachuca and we dance on top of Uncle Sam’s hill. We dance for the dark lord and we will continue to be fueled by Satan. All our covenants renewed and our pact stays strong.” Pepp answered him, looking over his shoulder into the night behind. Erwin the Kid raised his hand, “Hey, Point Man, are we sacrificing all of them, or can we just count coup on one or two, you know, to tell the tale?”

Hack cuffed the Kid’s shoulder, “We don’t WANT them telling the tale, because then more people will come sniffing around our territory, photographing our shrine, setting up Jesus shit, kicking over our cairn, who knows what else?”

“Hack, lay off the Kid, it was a good question. I say we do want them telling, because people will learn what our signs are and keep off our property.” Odlaw said, “What do you think, Momma?” Pepperoni Sioux sniffed the wind, then said, “I smelled rain today while I marked our territory. If the pirates do tell, someone will eventually tell the law. I don’t want Deputy Dawg sniffing around our land. Piss will fall like rain in our faces. That’s what I think the dark lord was saying.”

“Hack, you vote no, right?” Odlaw asked. “Neuchacho says no.” they replied. “Kid?” Erwin shook his head, “I vote we keep at least one alive. Maybe people will believe, maybe they won’t, but the tale will be told.” Erwin was their Talker. He spent most of his time in the rear with the Drag, or with the Chain keep everyone informed. Geek abstained from voting. Geek the Greek never voted. She did say, “You already know what you’re going to do, vote or no vote. Just like the dark lord will be happy with blood or with fear. I don’t need to tell you our hogs will want some of that blood. Fueled by Satan we are, but the lesser devils take their due, too. They told me today that they are hungry.” Geek the Greek, who was actually Turkish,, was their Fixer. She was a certified mechanic, but she was also a pretty serious witch. She could talk to their hell-hogs better than anybody, and fix up any parts or motor quirks. Their gifts were all things they had requested in their pact to become werewolves. Odlaw put the rattle away, wrapped in an oil-stained shammy. Council was done.

Geek began to beat her drum. The fire and the light from the stars, which he guessed was also firelight, dancing on Geek’s face moved Erwin. Erwin picked up his harmonica and began to blow his accompaniment for their song. It was a kind of call and response. The neuchacho lifted their voice in a drone and then led the chorus, “Don’t know where we’re ending but we just keep on rolling, we just keep on riding, as we roll”

Pepp and Mark picked it up on that final roll. Then Odlaw let out a wail and called out, “Can’t see the signs in the horizon, the light and the dark are one and the same, riding is living and living is hard. Dying is losing all that we are. All we believe, all we feel, all we remember, what’s lies and what’s real.” And the chorus repeated, “All we remember, what’s lies and what’s real.” before continuing the rolling chorus. Odlaw droned along as the chorus repeated the third time. “I started a story the day I was born, I started out clean and then I turned strange. I followed the echoes into the dark, I found the cactus deep in my heart.” The words would change from time to time, depending on how the darkness and the fire moved Strype. But this was a familiar pattern to his pack. “Can’t sleep on the road ’cuz I’ll wake up dead, but it all is fire in the end. We’ll meet and we’ll dance with the lord, I’ll get mine, and you’ll get yours.” They all sang together, “I’ll get mine, and you’ll get yours.” Odlaw howled, Pepperoni howled, they each took a turn to lift their howl to the night sky. The song was over, and the musicians stowed their instruments in their storage there in Mark’s camper truck, Lucinda.

Legion Mark Seven pulled the Kid into the darkness. He whispered, “Listen, Kid, I’m heading to the Dance after our Big Ride. I might not make it to the hill, even. Take my spare key and you drive Lucinda until we get a new Drag, okay?”

“Come on, Legion, you’re going to dance on the hill with me, fuck off that talk.” Erwin replied, refusing to take the key. “Dammit, Erwin, take the fucking key.” Mark urged. Erwin took it and slid it into his hip pocket. “I’m just holding this until you take it back.” he conceded. Mark kissed him then.

“You’re doing me a solid, my boy, my one true mandingo. Somebody has to be the Drag, carry the gear, carry the water, keep the pack alive. I want it to be you unless someone better comes along. You suck as a Talker, anyway.” The kid punched him in the gut, hurting his knuckle on Mark’s big belt buckle. “I’m a better Talker than you, anyway. I could talk the torch bearer’s guild into setting a chapel on fire.”

That said, the Kid gave Mark a kiss in return. “When you do finally meet the dark lord, you tell him our story. Tell him the way I tell it.”The Kid said. Mark only nodded and swatted Erwin’s ass to move him along.

Geek saw how The Kid had eyeballed her during the song, trying to make eye contact, that naughty boy. She hadn’t been feeling too frisky for the past week or so, but she responded to his interest. The Turkish woman stretched her slender arms and felt her shoulders and her hips pop as she continued stretching. When she found him, Erwin looked spooked, and she told him so. “It’s Mark.” He said, “Mark’s gone spooky. He says he ain’t gonna make it to dance on the hill.” Geek looked at Lucinda. The truck didn’t say anything to her. The damned tuck rarely did. She wondered if the demon was stuck up, or shy, or what. Her hog, Chismus, called out, “Hey, if you’re gonna fuck after the offerings, can I get a heads up?”Geek chuckled. “Yeah, Chismus, we’re gonna fuck.” Erwin grinned, “We are?” “I saw how you eyeballed me, Mister The Kid. I approve.” “I’m happy to end your dry spell.” She growled low and gave him a soft love bite. “Don’t worry about Mark. Tomorrow isn’t promised. He’ll ride until he dies, same as me, same as you.” “I gotta know, how did you get your moniker?” Erwin asked. “All this time, you wait to ask?” she replied. “I’m a Cypriot. You know Cyprus, right?” “I heard the name before.” “Well, it’s a contested island. Both Greek and Turkish. Therefore, so am I. I’m Geek the Greek, who is Turkish. It’s my moniker to show the duality of human life. None of us are just one thing, especially not witches.” Erwin kissed her, his smooth cheek felt so good to her touch as she caressed his face. “Do you know why I like you so much, Geek?” he asked.

“Tell me.” she purred. “You look at me like I’m a king.” “Who says you aren’t? I’ll rip their ribs out – No eye contact!”she interrupted.

The Kid nodded, looking at her boots. “You don’t look into my eyes unless I’m dying, you know the rules.””Yeah, Geek, I know.” Geek the Greek recited the few rules given to them by the dark lord in their pact: Never enter a hospital, don’t look a living soul in the eye, look at the stars every night, sing me a story at every council, every life you take and every drop you cum is dedicated to Lord Asmodeus.”Erwin groaned, “I fucking know, Geek! I took the same oaths as you.” “You didn’t correct me when I forgot the two most important rules.” Geek retorted, “Forsake your name and allegiance to all nations, for now you are MINE.”

Erwin the Kid nodded, still looking at her boots, “Your only nation is my dominion, your only name is given to you tonight.” he recited. Geek the Greek gave his neck a love bite. “Get ready to ride, Kid.” she urged and walked away to check her weapons. The Kid sighed, and walked over to his hog, Hungry Jack. He clapped the seat in greeting and began to check over his own weapons. Hungry Jack growled something. The Kid stopped, “What was that, Hungry Jack?” he whispered. Hungry Jack growled again. “You want some of Geek’s pubes? You dirty bastard, all right, I’ll get you one or two.”

Pepperoni Sioux was stropping her razor and humming something as Odlaw rubbed her shoulders, and Intercourse Hack Seyjack brushed her boots. “Hack, I want you tonight, what do you say?” Pepp asked.

“”Neuchacho wants Strype,” Hack replied, “Can I have both?”Odlaw laughed softly, “How can I refuse?” Pepp considered this, then grunted, “Okay, us three.” Their engines were soon roaring in the night. Odlaw on Tusker Deux, Erwin on Hungry Jack, Geek on Chismus, Pepp on Moon Moon , and Hack on Stiller Nacht with Mark riding bitch. They knew a secret shortcut to their Quonset huts, which is to say, their witchcraft had made a secret passage in the night’s darkness to get there. With their headlights off, they went off the road and vanished into the shadows. They emerged from the darkness into the light of several hanging lamps.

Odlaw whistled for dismount, and they each followed the order. Odlaw turned to look at the Kid’s chin and nodded before he turned wolf. Erwin the Kid stepped forward, with Odlaw Strype striding at his side. He drew his pistol and took aim at the front tire of a muscle car. He fired and the tire loudly exploded. With his pack at his back, some human, some wolf as their mood s dictated, the Talker did his job. “You pukes are trespassing on private property! Can’t you read?!” a group of men came running out, saw the remains of the tire, and then found the pack. “Come where we can see you.” said one of them. The Kid obliged them. One dumb-ass pointed a snub nose revolver at him. The Kid smirked and said, “This property belongs to the Cactus Patch Kids. You saw our signs and strolled on in and set up shop anyway.” He glared at one of them holding a bottle. “ AND you drank our whiskey like it had been given to you.” the rest of the pack moved into the light, Odlaw growled at them, baring his fangs.

“Hey, we didn’t know.” a man said. “Oh, you knew. You just figured you were hard. You figured you were some iron nails. You might even be hard, as far as road pirates go. You can run on foot, see how far you make it, or you can die standing there. Don’t tell the Reaper I didn’t give you a choice.” The Kid shouted. But the wolves were already running and the humans were already shooting. Geek was right. Vote or no, they each knew what they were going to do.

The Cactus Patch Kids used the chains and hooks the pirates had set up to hang their corpses to make collecting their blood for the offerings and for their hogs easier. The bodies they left in the strange darkness between, to feed those things what dwell there. After they had fed their familiar demons and given their dues to the dark lord, they settled in for the final pleasures of the night.

The Cactus Patch Kids were rolling early the next morning, rejuvenated and eager. The Big Ride was underway. As usual, Odlaw was on Point, Mark was in the rear with the gear, and Hack was in the center. Miles of Arizona rolled behind them, at speeds no mortal engine can match. They would reach Fort Huachuca before the New Moon. They hadn’t left anyone to tell the tale after all.

They had decided to leave the various vehicles and parts for when they returned from The Big Ride. Odlaw licked his teeth and his lips, imagining he still tasted the blood. It was always good, but, it was best when it came from someone pissing on his porch. It was a way to know that not only were things exactly as they should be, you were oiling the machinery to keep it running smooth. Less pirates made things better for everyone, even other pirates.

Pepperoni Sioux smelled rain again, and looked at the skies. She didn’t like the looks of some clouds in the West. They looked too dark and angry. She whispered to the wind and whistled. Her wind spirit familiar whistled and flew, invisible, to Geek the Greek. Geek heard Pepperoni Sioux whisper, “I don’t like those dark clouds, and I smell rain again. Can you do some weather witchcraft? A sudden deluge could really fuck things for us.” Geek pursed her lips and asked the familiar to fetch her wand from her saddlebag. The familiar told her to shove her wand someplace uncomfortable and flew back to Pepp. “That Mediterranean witch tried asking me to play fetch, Pepp, I told her fuck off.” clearly expecting to be praised. Wind spirits. Pepp whistled a chiding and said, “You don’t have to do what they ask, but don’t insult my packmates. If you pull that shit again, it’s the Dark Hungry Things for you.” Her familiar screamed and flew away.

Geek didn’t take it personal. She did, however, wish she had some kind of magic to make her wand suddenly appear in her hand. No chance. So she made a judgment call, as Fixer. She pressed a button on her left handle and Chismus roared. She pressed two more times, calling for an immediate halt. Odlaw heard the signal and scanned their surroundings. He raised his right hand into the air, palm forward and fingers together, giving the signal for a halt. The Cactus Patch Kids slowed, and gathered on the dust to the side of the road. Before she came to a full stop, Odlaw was gripping her handlebars, looking at Chismus. “What’s up, Geek?” he asked, “We’re making great time.” Geek said, “Mama smelled rain again, and I’m sure you see those clouds Westward. I’m gonna try a weather circle to make sure we don’t get wet, yeah?” She looked at Odlaw’s chin. Odlaw nodded. “If you and Mama both think it’s serious, go do your thing, Fixer.” He waved his hand in a circle overhead and then pointed to the ground at their feet, everybody rest, do what you want.

Geek opened her saddlebag and took her wand and her bag of tricks to find a good place for her circle. Her wand was the remains of a young tree that had been struck by lightning. The roots and what remained of the trunk looked to her eyes like a dagger from some fantasy novel with a cover painted by Michael Whelan. The roots fit over her hand when she held a central tendril. The jagged tip stayed sharp over the years. She drew her mark in the dirt with her wand, then began her circle beneath it. She sang fragments of songs that stirred her power. The circle closed, she added the Mark of Asmodeus, a crude sketch of a saguaro cactus, a spoked wheel, a cloud, and the symbols for rain, and travel. Geek pointed her wand to the sky and murmured, “You’re all shook up, aren’t you, baby?” Like every witch pledged to Asmodeus, her sins of choice were lust and wrath. She called upon her memory of last night when she and Erwin had fierce sex, smeared with the blood of them who had tried to take what was theirs. It was most righteous. She was confident she had built up enough for a strong bit of the good stuff and spat into the circle, giving of her water to the magic. She plucked a hair and placed it in the circle as well. She asked the clouds to move just a bit off their course, to put their rain safely elsewhere so her pack could ride fast and uninterrupted. She sang a few wordless notes in a rhythm that felt right. Lastly, she reached her hand down her pants and gathered some of that moisture and rubbed it into her wand before plunging it into the earth in the middle of her circle. Geek stood and backed away a few steps. Mama was there to steady her as her energy flew into the wand, then to the sky above. Geek leaned into Pepperoni Sioux gratefully. The Mama brushed at Geek’s face and held her, giving of her strength to her fellow witch. Then Hack was there, too, they put their arms around her.

Chismus growled something. Geek gently moved away from her pack mate’s arms and walked over to kneel by Chismus, “What is it, baby?” she asked her hog. Chismus told her the clouds looked even unfriendlier than before. Her hog was right. “Point Man, I think the Dark Lord is playing a joke.” Geek said. The wind picked up, chill and damp for what they normally met in the Sonoran Desert. Very unrighteous.

Legion Mark Seven was sitting atop Lucinda’s hood, leaning against her windshield.

A precarious perch, but Mark loved to do it. He said Lucinda liked it, too. He watched all of these things as they transpired, thinking his private thoughts. Erwin had said he had gone spooky, and he felt spooky today, no doubt about it. Things were going to get weird. That was a big bad rain a-coming. They were going to get drenched. The Road might get all sorts of ugly. The army might not have a chance to take a single shot at the Cactus Patch Kids, Daddy-o. Mark didn’t like that thought at all. He hadn’t been a werewolf for long, but death by soldier was about as righteous a way to go as he could ever hope to see. Erwin squeezed his leg, catching him by surprise. “Did I catch you napping, Mark?” he teased. “Yeah, baby. I was having a waking nightmare, dig it.” Mark replied. “Still spooked, huh?” “Yeah, baby. Spooky all day.” Then the rain came.

The hogs protested, hating water. Lucinda, being a tortoise demon, wasn’t fazed. Not much bothered her, but she did hate birds for some reason. Legion Mark Seven let out a laugh, surprising Erwin the Kid. He hated the feel of wet denim on his skin, but for right now, the rain felt good. Like how a baptism must feel. “Here we are, Kid!” he whooped, “Washed in the piss of Mother Gaea! Bless us, Biggest Mama, and take our bodies so we don’t feed the Dark Hungry Things!” Erwin whooped too, kissed Mark’s arm. Intercourse Hack Seyjack gave Mark a crooked grin and shook their head. Soon the rain was an absolute deluge. Odlaw caught some in his open mouth and drank. He nabbed a tin cup to catch more. As the minutes passed and they got cold, Odlaw stopped drinking rain water and decided they needed a place to weather the storm. It wasn’t going to be easy. “We head out, slowly!” He shouted over the wind and rain. Geek retrieved her wand. Hack squeezed her ass and teased, “You sure you didn’t do a rainstorm spell?” Geek only kissed them. Hack rested their forehead on her chin. “What is it about water that makes me think of you?” Hack asked. “Only you know that answer, Chain.” They mounted up and tried to find someplace better to wait out the rain. Visibility was fucked.

Then, a lightning bolt struck but meters to Odlaw’s right. The light dazzled him, the concussive force and the sound wave shook him. Odlaw Strype took a righteous spill. He rolled and rolled, as if pulled toward where the lightning had struck. Pepperoni Sioux screamed and slid Moon Moon to a stop barely feet away from Tusker Deux. It was a miracle her leg wasn’t hamburger. She was up and running to find Odlaw as Hack pulled to a stop, their fist in the air. The others were able to stop safely. Pepp ran to Odlaw’s side and began to look him over. “Don’t move, Strype. You took a tumble, and we want to make sure you’re okay.” She unbuckled his helmet then touched the white hairs on his head first, which looked like a capital Y or a dowsing rod when looking at his head from above, and was probably part of the source of his moniker. His head didn’t have any bumps or open wounds. Odlaw’s eyes fluttered, and he groaned, but he didn’t move, obeying the voice of Mama. Hack brought an umbrella given to them by Mark. Pepp judged that Odlaw’s ribs were bruised, his left wrist was sprained, and his neck would be sore for a few days. She prescribed a dose of feel-good, which she injected herself, again, after receiving it from Mark.

Geek was talking to Tusker Deux, checking him over. “I hurt all over, Geek.” Tusker whined. Geek held a pen light and checked the hog quickly. ’You’re fine, ya big baby.” Geek scolded.. She stood, and pulled Tusker up with help from Hack and put down his kickstand. She nodded at Hack and looked Moon Moon over. “Don’t cry for me, Geek, I’m already dead.” Moon Moon said.

Geek affectionately patted the hog’s seat. “Your exhaust is knocked loose, that’s all. We’ll get you patched up easy and a more permanent repair after Fort Huachuca.” Moon Moon made a scoffing noise. “Listen, jokes aside, I’m amazed you came to visit me in Hell, because if you died, too...” “Mooney, this isn’t Hell, it’s Arizona.” “Oh. Honest mistake.” “Shut up, clown.” Hack and Geek chicken wired Moon Moon’s exhaust pipe into place and gave him a pat. Tusker asked how Odlaw was doing. Geek walked over to where he was sitting up.

“Odlaw, you dead yet?” Geek the Greek asked. “Don’t make me laugh, bitch.” Odlaw replied with a pained smile. He accepted Geek and Pepp’s hand ass he stood with their assistance. “Thanks Mama, Fixer.” he nodded at each of them. “Point Man, you could have been killed, what the fuck happened?” Pepperoni Sioux asked. “You saw the lightning hit, you felt it. Damned wet road combined with bad luck knocked me down.” Odlaw replied. The two bitches brushed him off a bit and then Pepp walked away to look for signs of the lightning strike. “You think the dark lord was telling us something, Mama?” Odlaw called to her. “I think maybe.” she called back. Geek helped Strype back to where Tusker was waiting. “Tusker, you dead yet?” he asked, patting his hog. “I hurt everywhere and Geek called me a baby.” Tusker Deux replied. Odlaw wiped some water off his handlebars and looked at where the two bitch witches were now hunkered in the sand.

Hack leaned against Lucinda, still holding the umbrella and feeling up Mark over his jeans. “How long has it been, Mark?” They asked. “Is the correct answer, too long, Chain o’ Mine?” Mark replied, his own hand roaming. Hack smiled a special smile and kissed his hand. “You got it in one, my one true Drag, My only dragging dragon.” Mark suddenly pushed Hack away, but gently. He was looking South, and walking away from them. “Seven! What are you after, mandingo?” Hack shouted, feeling very spooked because of the days’ events. Erwin the Kid looked at Strype. “Mandingo, Mark’s getting spooky, what do we do?” he asked. Odlaw looked at Pepp and Geek who had both turned wolf and were digging. He looked at Mark, and nodded at Erwin. “You and the neuchacho follow Mark. Keep him outta trouble, but let him walk where his vision leads him. He’s a witch too.” Hack was especially grateful for the lack of traffic as they followed Mark. “You see somethin’ Mark?” Erwin asked. Mark waved away the question. Hack and Erwin shared a look. “He’s full spooked, ain’t he?” he asked the neuchacho. “I think he’s onto something important.” Hack said, “He’s got a purpose. Just you watch him with me, Kid. We’ll get out on top. You know how I prefer to be on top.” Erwin chuckled , “Yeah, Chain, and I love to let you.” Mark growled at them to shut up and let him listen. “The storm started singing, let me listen.” he added. He stopped and cocked his head to the side. He turned East. “What?” he asked nobody they could see. His packmates shared another look, but kept silent for now. Legion Mark Seven pulled his dog tags free from his t shirt and then his amulet. He quickly tucked both away again. “Nothin’.” He said and spat. “Just fucking with me.” He looked at Hack and Erwin, then apologized. They walked back to Lucinda just in time to see what Mama and Fixer had found. “It broke while we dug it up, but we found storm glass! BIG medicine!” Pepp declared. “Only two pieces!” Geek added. “Wouldn’t the temperature changes make it ridiculously fragile?” Odlaw asked. “It was already pretty cool by the time we dug it up, look, no gloves.” Pepp replied. What they held was glass in the shape of lightning, melted in the sand when it struck. The pack gathered to admire the find. “This could be luck, it could be a gift.”Pepperoni Sioux said. Odlaw rubbed his neck. “If it’s a gift, I could do without having to pay for it.” he griped. “Ain’t nothin’ from the dark lord free.” Mark replied. “Damn this rain.” he added. There was another lightning strike and crash of thunder “Fuck!” Odlaw shouted, “Let’s get going again!”

The pack rolled out, wet and miserable despite the brief elation over the storm glass. They found a rest stop and huddled under the roof. Mark brought towels and blankets, helped by Hack. The Cactus Patch Kids were alone except for a few toads, and some odd spirits inhabiting vending machines. “Who wants some trail mix?” asked Hack, as they looked over the selection.

Geek said, “Yo, I could use the salt.” Hack nodded, and added, “Looks like we got some pretzels, too. The spirits say that they have been waiting on a restock for three weeks.” There was a chorus of groans in reply to that. “If the restock is three weeks late, what does that mean in terms of how stale the junk is?” Geek asked, walking over to pat Hack’s butt. The machine spirits had no concept of things such as freshness. They only knew about electricity and the schedule for their supplies. “Since the food is past it’s replacement date, how about letting us have some for free?” Hack asked the machines. “You must perform the ritual, witch. Give us the coins and then we give the snacks.”

Intercourse Hack Seyjack grinned, they had an idea. “I’ll be right back.” They said. Hack walked over to the truck, and rummaged around. “What are you looking for, Hack?” Legion Mark Seven asked. “The Bone Rattler.” They replied. Mark grinned, he liked Hack’s twisted mind. “The Bone Rattler is up front, I’ve been using it on my shoulders.” He explained. Hack gave him a quick peck on the tip of his nose and fetched it. The Bone Rattler was a shoulder massager powered by four D Cell batteries. It was made of aluminum and had been brushed and polished to be quite smooth. Hack Seyjack strolled back to the vending machines slapping the vibrator on their palm. “Here’s my counter offer,” Hack said,”I’ll perform this ritual.” and switched on the Bone Rattler. The hum was like a dirt bike. Hack pressed the vibrator against the coin slot of the snack machine for about eight seconds, then gave a taste to the drink machine. As expected, the machine spirits quite liked that sensation. After a few more touches of the coin slots, both machines vended a few freebies. Hack and Geek thanked the spirits and took their haul to a covered picnic table. The wind picked up, but the gang had dried and been warming up. The sodas and salty snacks were a welcome gift. They watched the rain end almost as abruptly as it had started. The shot of feel good was still going strong and Odlaw was grateful for it. It helped with pain, it helped with emotions, it made ya feel good. He didn’t know where Mama had found the recipe, or the supplies, but the drug had been the pack’s best friend. The only downside they’d discovered was that a shot of feel good made a man unable to get a boner for a whole 24 at least. When your patron is the king of lust, you understand the importance of a good boner.

The Arizona sun did what it did best and they were soon riding again. The wind in their faces was as sweet as love, and just as sterile. They picked up speed and accelerated beyond the dreams of mortal engines. Tusker grumbled a bit but he was glad to be dry and rolling again. Odlaw was Tusker Deux’s best friend. He saw a roadrunner and wanted to smash it. “Odlaw, let’s smash that bird! That silly roadrunner to your left!” Tusker shouted. Odlaw gave Tusker disapproving look. “Come on, Tusker, we’re on our Big Ride! We have to make our appointment with the dark lord! There will be other roadrunners.” Tusker knew Odlaw was right. He knew he mustn’t disappoint the dark lord. But he wanted to feel his wheels crush the hollow bones of the bird. They rolled on. They found the signs for Fort Huachuca as the sun was getting low and turning everything red. Odlaw called for a halt.

The pack gathered to discuss their plan of approach. As Point Man, Odlaw spoke first. “My idea is, we wait for dark, stow the road demons, and we recce the fences and shit on four legs. They won’t give a shit about a couple wolves running about if they even notice us.” Legion Mark Seven suddenly grinned. “How about we just rush the gate? They’re just soldiers.” “Come on, Mark, don’t be an asshole. Just because you used to be a Marine.” Erwin groaned. “I was just foolin’.” Mark replied. But Hack looked at Mark’s shoulder, and they had to wonder. “Our hogs and Lucinda ain’t built for off-roading, so it’s not as if we can just roll in from the desert. I figure no matter what, we’re going wolf to get to the hill.” Mark added. Pepperoni Sioux burped and said, “Where can we stow them, though? We didn’t have them built for stealth, either.” Mark snapped his fingers. “I do know a spell, though. Lucinda taught me. It’s a tortoise trick. You tuck in an pretend to be a rock.” “That’s just what we need, mandingo!” Pepp replied, smiling. So they grouped the vehicles to aid in the rock illusion and held hands to help Mark with the mojo he’d need to cast the spell on their demons.

Legion Mark Seven took one of the pieces of storm glass and ground it to dust under his boot. He sang a nonsense song about hiding and not being seen, about being ignored. Then, he spoke the profane words of the black magic taught to him by Lucinda. They felt their energies go into the spell. “Nobody here but us rocks.” Lucinda said. “All right, Cactus Patch, let’s get moving!” Mark called out. They stroked their wolfskin belts and spoke their transformation spells and six wolves ran away from the group of boulders.

They found a chain link fence bordering most of the army fort. There were guard towers, but not everywhere. There were other places where it seemed there was no security at all. Between their werewolf senses and the magical sight of their familiars, it was as if they had a guided tour. They most important stuff was underground, after all, and they didn’t give a shit about what Uncle Sam was up to down there. It was too easy to get to their hill. They smelled it when they arrived. They found plenty of brush and rocks to make themselves a nice fire to dance around.

The Cactus Patch Kids looked up at the stars, and they gave praise to the dark lord. They sang and they danced. They renewed their oaths. There was one last thing. Intercourse Hack Seyjack drew their knife. It was time to mingle their blood. With a nod and a kiss, the Chain cut their inner arms, each member of the pack. Odlaw, Pepp, Hack, Mark, Erwin, and Geek. In the firelight, they held their arms together, their blood flowed and became one river. Hand on heart, their swore their loyalty to the pack, and to the dark lord. The timing was too perfect for those random soldiers to find their fire and start shouting questions. Six wolves ran away, six witches laughing their asses off at those poor dumb grunts who would never understand what had happened in their fort that night. When they rejoined their demons, Erwin shoved Mark’s spare key back into his hand. “You spooky bastard, you ain’t dead yet!”

THE END