Torn Between Mates

I chewed on the corner of my eraser as I flipped through the last page of the pediatric care section in my textbook. My notes were scattered across my bed—some with hastily scribbled reminders, highlighted terms, and sticky notes that were anything but sticky. 

I didn’t have a laptop or even a tablet to type my notes on, and my phone could barely send texts without freezing. Still, I made it work… I consistently made good grades, excelled at my labs and clinicals. And in about two years, I’ll finally become a registered nurse.

Once I finished reading, I closed my book and glanced across the room toward my little sister’s bed. As usual, Ava’s comforter was more on the floor than the mattress, and several days’ worth of clothes were thrown across it.

Well… since I was done studying, I could spend a few minutes tidying up our room. That was until I looked at the clock on the nightstand between our beds.

9:05

“Oh no!” I gasped, wide-eyed.

I jumped off the bed, causing papers to fly everywhere. Hurriedly, I threw off my pajamas, slipping on a pair of worn jeans, an old sports bra, and a cotton T-shirt.

The last thing I put on was an oversized light gray hoodie. I zipped it up halfway, pausing for a moment to sniff the fabric. It still smelled of leather and fresh pine—Tobias’s scent. Good. That meant I didn’t have to return it to him anytime soon.

I ran into the bathroom down the hall, putting my hair into a high ponytail before brushing my teeth with one hand while trying to rinse my face with the other. When I was done, I looked at my reflection—the strands of blonde hair I missed, and the tiredness in my eyes.

With a scowl, I turned off the light and went into the hallway. My family’s apartment wasn’t big, but it was homey. Our living room was filled with secondhand furniture that looked more lived-in than stylish. There was a small kitchen tucked off to the side and a dining table we barely used.

Then, I opened the front door and stepped out into the main part of the pack house. Being the Beta’s daughter meant we lived on the second floor, in one of only two apartments. Ours were on the left side of the long hall, while the Alpha and Luna’s were on the other end. Theirs was a little bigger and more updated, but other than that, it was nearly identical to my family’s.

Between the apartments were several guest rooms, which were almost always empty. No one ever really came to Embercrest. Most of the time, it was people who had gotten lost as they made their way through the twisting roads in the Whispering Vale. And even then, it was only when they saw the old signs at our borders that people would realize their mistake. Usually, people come to our area of the region for the Moonfell Pack, but the forests had a habit of confusing strangers.

The floor creaked under my bare feet as I made my way downstairs. But I could hear it before I got to the first floor… the unmistakable sound of silverware scraping against plates and people talking.

Bright Moon, help me, I’m really late.

The entire pack was already gathered in the dining hall. Today was Pack Day, which always took place one Saturday a month before the full moon. There was no work, no school, and few responsibilities. Even the border patrols were lighter, covered only by young, eager Gammas wanting to prove themselves.

Breakfast was the first of two big meals we’d share today. Afterwards, if any wolf had shifted for the first time in the past month, they’d go to the ceremonial grounds. There, they would go into the Oath Circle, claiming their place as members of Embercrest. The rest of the day would be filled with activities: the wolf run, youth trials, and sparring matches.

My wolf stirred inside me, growing more anxious with each passing minute. Katjaa loved Pack Day. Honestly, she probably needed it more than I did. Between school, clinicals in the ER, and my hours shadowing Luna Emilee, I hadn’t shifted in nearly two weeks. My wolf was restless, ready to run, stretch, and breathe.

As soon as I stepped into the dining hall, I kept my head down, trying not to draw any attention to myself. Don’t make eye contact, don’t say hello… Just keep walking.

However, that didn’t last for long.

“Oh! There’s Rennie!”

Ava’s voice carried through the room like a dinner bell. And to my horror, half of the pack turned to look. I felt heat creeping up my neck, and I was certain my cheeks were bright red.

Great…

I sheepishly smiled as I hurried to the center table meant for the pack’s leaders. One side sat my family. My dad, Beta Calder, was already staring at me with an overly serious expression. My mom, Beta Naomi, was probably staring at how wrinkled my clothes were. On either side of them were my younger siblings, Kody and Ava.

Across from them sat Alpha Gideon and Luna Emilee, dressed in their best clothes even though it was Pack Day. And beside them was their son, Tobias.

Tobias looked up as I approached, giving me a soft smile. His light brown hair was perfectly in place, and his emerald eyes sparkled as they stared at me. Looking at him, at those little dimples on his cheeks, almost distracted me from the anxiousness digging into my stomach.

I sat in the empty chair beside him—the one that had unofficially become mine—and saw a plate already waiting for me. There was a scoop of scrambled eggs, half a piece of toast, and a generous helping of fruit. I didn’t need to ask to know that Tobias made it himself.

“Sorry I’m late,” I mumbled, using the hoodie sleeves to hide my red cheeks.

Momma didn’t say anything. Instead, she just shook her head, giving me that ‘we’ll talk about this later’ look. Tobias reached for my knee under the table, gently squeezing it.

“You study too much, little pup,” he said with a teasing smile.

“If I didn’t, I could fail my exams and lose my scholarship,” I shrugged, unable to meet his gaze. “I worked really hard for it.”

“We know,” my dad said before Tobias could respond. “And we’re proud of how hard you’ve worked. But Pack Day is important too, Ren. You should’ve been downstairs with your mother and Emilee. As the future Luna, it’s your responsibility to greet our pack.”

I lowered my gaze to my eggs. The words future Luna still made me feel somewhat uneasy, even after two years. Not because I didn’t care about the pack—I did. I always had. But I didn’t feel like a Luna yet… not really.

“Yes, sir,” I replied softly.

There was a brief, awkward silence that filled the table before Luna Emilee spoke up, shifting the conversation.

“Ren, are you going to be in the wolf run today, or are you taking a break this month?”

I took a bite of my toast to buy myself time before nodding.

“I signed up on the bulletin board last night.”

“Of course you did,” Tobias chuckled. “You’ve got a title to defend.”

I glanced briefly at him, mainly because he insisted I run. Like many others, Tobias considered the wolf run to be serious business. For our pack, it was a joint event we held with our neighbors, Crescent Pack. It was part race, part trial, where wolves were divided by age and whether or not they were mated. There would be a scent trail we had to follow, which changed each month and was kept secret until right before the run. And to keep people from cheating, there were checkpoints and watchers tracking the wolves throughout the event.

I had been running with the unmated females since I turned eighteen. Other than my first run, I had won every single race. People said it was because I was a natural Luna—Katjaa was stronger and faster than other females. I didn’t know if it was true, but my wolf loved the challenge.

However, the regional runs were different from the local ones. Twice now, I had represented Embercrest in the Whispering Vale’s annual race, and twice I had lost. Not because I wasn’t fast enough, but because being surrounded by so many wolves I didn’t know made it hard for me to breathe or focus. And I didn’t like being away from home… Neither did Katjaa.

I took another bite of toast before chasing it with a grape. Rather than thinking about the wolf run or my studies, my mind wandered to Tobias. Four months from now, we will be standing together in the chosen mate ceremony. Everyone already treated us like a mated pair. And if I was being honest, I felt the same way.

Tobias had been my best friend for as long as I can remember. As children, we were always together, and when I started primary school, he was the one who walked me to class. Growing up, I had thought we would be fated mates. But the moment I turned eighteen, those dreams were crushed.

However, Tobias didn’t let that stop him. Though we weren’t fated, he still came to me that night, asking me to become his chosen mate. And through my tears, I accepted and said yes.

But we weren’t mated… Not yet.

I had begged him to wait and let me finish nursing school first. However, he didn’t want to, saying that it was too long to wait. He loved me and was eager to start a family as soon as possible. After going back and forth for a few days, we finally compromised: We’d wait two years, then have the ceremony. And now that time was just around the corner.

After breakfast ended, the energy shifted in the dining hall. Omegas and volunteers went around the room, moving the chairs out of the way while gathering the silverware and dishes. I stood, ready to help clean up, but one of the older women stopped me, shooing me with a wave of her hand.

“Not today, sweet girl,” she said with a smile.

I sighed but didn’t argue. It didn’t matter how many times I offered to help, no one ever let me. Not when everyone looked at me like I had the words “future Luna” stamped on my forehead.

Tobias approached my side, taking one of my hands and lacing our fingers together.

“Come on, little pup,” he murmured, tugging me toward the door.

We stepped outside into the warm morning air. The sun was high up in the sky, lighting up the front grounds of the pack house. Tobias’s hand tightened in mine as he leaned over, sniffing my shoulder.

“I see you’re wearing my hoodie. I don’t think I’ve seen it for several days now…”

I glanced down at the piece of clothing, bringing up my free hand to smell the sleeve.

“What can I say?” I smirked. “It smelled a lot like you and, like a needy she-wolf, I stole it.”

“Luckily for you, I like seeing you in my clothes,” he chuckled. “Plus, I get to smell myself on you all day long.”

“Maybe I should give you something of mine to wear,” I teased. “So you can smell like me for once?”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows, amused. “What would you give me to wear?”

I tapped my chin for a moment before glancing sideways at him.

“I’m thinking of my pajama shorts. The ones Momma says are too small for me.”

He laughed loudly, shaking his head.

“Yeah, those’ll definitely cover me real well.”

“Well…” I murmured, leaning into him. “It would make things easier to get to.”

Tobias took a sharp breath before letting out a low, possessive growl. The sound sent tingles down my spine, and Katjaa responded with a soft, begging whimper.

Unfortunately for Tobias, my dad walked by us at that moment. With a single glance, my future mate put space between us and cleared his throat.

“Beta Calder,” he murmured.

My dad didn’t respond, but merely huffed as he continued on to wherever he was going.

“Maybe we should let our wolves stretch their legs,” Tobias suddenly suggested, sounding very businesslike. “I’m sure Katjaa would enjoy some time with Aldric before the run.”

I snorted, trying not to laugh at how quickly his demeanor changed. But Katjaa stirred eagerly at the suggestion, pushing painfully against the edges of our shared soul.

“I think she’d love that.”

Hand in hand, we walked toward the side of the pack house, where the shifting areas were hidden from view of the main road. The clearing was quiet this morning, with only a few people gathering at the two wooden sheds that sat on either side. Fenced-in shifting areas stretched between them, with privacy curtains spaced throughout.

When I tried to pull away to go toward the women’s shed, Tobias refused to let go of my hand. Instead, he pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly on the lips.

“Aldric will see you in a few.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face.

“Tell him not to be late.”

He gave me a wink before heading to the men’s shed, and I turned toward the one on the left. Inside, the air was hot and musky with the scent of wolves. Women stood in various stages of undress—some already shifted, while others were pulling shirts from over their heads or putting jeans into cubbies.

I walked past them, toward the row of lockers on the far wall. These belonged to me, my mom, Ava, and Luna Emilee, each marked with our names and a brass lock. I opened mine, folded my clothes neatly, and set them inside.

Being naked in front of other women didn’t bother me. Among wolves, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. It was natural, and to a certain extent, practical.

Once undressed, I stepped out into the fenced area, waiting as two other wolves shifted back into their human forms. When the space was open, I closed my eyes and let Katjaa take control.

Shifting for the first time in weeks felt like stretching after a long nap. My bones lengthened, my skin was pulled tight, and my muscles twisted. When I was finally a wolf, Katjaa shook out our silvery coat before flexing her paws against the dirt.

She wanted to run. To jump over the fence and rush into the woods.

But we couldn’t do that…

My momma might actually die of a heart attack if I acted so feral in the changing grounds. So, with some restraint, Katjaa walked us out into the clearing, where the scent of leather and pine instantly hit us.

Aldric… He was already waiting, looking tall and handsome as always. The morning light shone on his dark gray fur, which had a streak of white beneath his neck and belly. He stood like an alpha, even though he wasn’t one yet.

Katjaa walked over to him, brushing our body against his side, rubbing our scent onto his fur. Shamelessly and affectionately…

Aldric didn’t move and instead let her mark him. But then Katjaa’s eyes looked toward the other side of the clearing, where a small group of unmated males had just exited the men’s shifting shed. It wasn’t as if the wolves were looking at us, but I immediately knew we were in trouble.

Aldric let out a warning growl to Katjaa. Then he nudged her hard, guiding her head away from the males with his snout. She blinked, then let out a playful huff, licking his jaw in apology before walking away from the other wolves.

Once we were clear of the pack house and out of sight from the shifting grounds, Aldric and Katjaa took off into the trees. We didn’t go far—not really. The wolf run was in a few hours, and I couldn’t go too deep into the forest before the race. It would be seen as cheating, or an unfair advantage…

So instead, we went east, traveling alongside one of the two roads that led in and out of Embercrest territory. It was quiet this time of day, with just the birds overhead. No cars, no people—just the four of us.

Eventually, the woods ended as we neared the river. Aldric and Katjaa descended a narrow, sloping path alongside a small cliff. And there at the bottom was our hidden spot—a small, pebbled beach hidden away in a curve of the river.

The pine trees from above shaded it, and the water flowed lazily across the shoreline. This was at the edge of our pack lands, and across the river was all neutral territory.

Humans lived over there, mostly. As well as rogues or wolves not registered to any pack. But in our little sliver of the Whispering Vale, there wasn’t much of anything across the water—just trees and more trees.

Crescent Pack shared part of our northern border, but beyond that, the next real town or pack was at least thirty minutes away by car. That’s how it was out here—packs were spread farther apart, giving each other room to breathe and grow.

And that’s what Tobias always wanted—to grow. To take Embercrest from a hollow pack of less than three hundred wolves and turn it into a howler pack.

Katjaa stretched out on the stone shore, resting lazily against Aldric. He shifted slightly, placing his chin on her shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking,” Tobias murmured through my mind. “About expanding the pack.”

I hummed in response but didn’t speak. It wasn’t as if I needed to. Within a few seconds, he was already talking over the link again.

“If we want Embercrest to have a seat at the table and really have a say in the region, I think we need to focus on adding families rather than unmated wolves.”

As I listened, I closed my eyes. I had heard him talk about this hundreds of times before—long-term plans, strategies, and recruitment ideas. Tobias wanted Embercrest to matter in our part of the world, and to make it so we weren’t looked down upon because of our size.

“If we can get to over three hundred members, we could finally get that howler status. And when my father retires, if we have the numbers—”

“He could run for one of the Regional Elder seats,” I finished for him with a smile. “And so could your mom.”

“It would definitely be an honor,” Tobias whispered. “Not just for them but for the pack.”

I didn’t say it out loud, but I liked the idea. I liked imagining our pack being a place others looked to for leadership and guidance—a place where wolves wanted to be.

We stayed on our hidden beach for a while longer, just lying in the sunlight. Eventually, though, Katjaa sighed and rose to her feet, nudging Aldric to do the same. It was nearly time for the wolf run.

The starting line was on the western edge of the pack lands, and if we didn’t head back now, we’d be late. Katjaa gave one last stretch before walking up the rocky incline toward the road.

But once at the top of the small cliff, we heard a deep, unnatural roar overhead. Katjaa’s ears flattened as she looked up. Over the tops of the trees, falling through the sky like a wounded bird, was a plane. One of its wings was on fire, with flames trailing behind it.

We held our breath as the plane dipped lower and lower. Helpless and stunned, we watched as it disappeared behind the tree line.

A second later, a loud boom echoed across the valley. Dirt and smoke rose in the air, and hundreds of birds flew out of the trees, screeching in a panic.

“Attention all Embercrest pack members!” Alpha Gideon’s voice shouted through my head, not even a minute later. “A plane has crashed on our lands! All able-bodied adults are to assist with rescue efforts immediately. Find survivors and help where you can.”

Once the Alpha finished his orders, Katjaa started to head west, only to be stopped immediately by Aldric.

“No,” Tobias linked. “You and Katjaa head south and go to Luna’s Mercy.”

“Why go to the hospital when there are injured people at the crash site?!” I snapped as Katjaa stomped a paw on the ground.

“Because it could be dangerous!” He growled, standing firmly in front of us. “If there’s jet fuel leaking on the ground…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but I didn’t need him to. I understood that he was just trying to keep me safe and away from harm’s way. Even though I didn’t necessarily agree with it, perhaps going to the hospital was for the best. Once survivors were found, they would be immediately transported there anyway.

Without giving it another thought, Katjaa rubbed herself against Aldric before heading south toward Luna’s Mercy.

A/N: I figured now would be a good time to go into some lore tidbits! Though it will be discussed later on in the book, I figured these were things worth mentioning now 🥰

A hollow pack is a term used for any pack with under 300 members. They are small, with little to no say in what happens in their regions.

A howler pack will have anywhere between 300-1000 members. These are the most commonly sized packs, and typically make up the majority of a region's power.

Crown packs have between 1000-2000 members. These packs are considered influential, and typically have larger towns with more of a human population living in their pack lands. (humans don't count toward a pack's member count, even if they are a "chosen mate")

Titan packs are the largest type of packs with at least 2000+ members. Typically, a region will only have 1-2 titan packs at most.

Without going into too much detail, there are eight regions in this made-up wolf land (think the US, but instead of 50 states, it's broken up into regions). Embercrest is located in the Whispering Vale region, which is essentially like the Appalachian area of the US, going all the way down to Florida.

Lastly, I'll leave you with a few maps of Embercrest!