Chapter 1
"And suddenly you know... It's time to start something new, and trust the magic of beginnings!"
Lizzie
2 months later...
I've lost track of the days. I don't know what day it is today! I only remember that I sleep a lot! Every now and then I feel a stab in my heart, a tightness, I try to be calm!
I can feel it when I try to breathe. I think, especially when I'm very stressed or something bad is happening!
I'm telling myself that it will pass, like it always does! And then, it comes back!
I open my eyes and try to get up! My head hurts - definitely from sleeping too much - I'd better take some aspirin...
I left the room and went downstairs. I went to the kitchen.
- Jake? What are you doing here?
- Liz! You got up!
- Yes! I think I got enough sleep! I think my head hurts from sleeping too much!...It's time to wake up!
- Great! This is very good!
- Where did I put that aspirin?
- Liz...I'll get you some nice juice to drink with iron and you'll be just fine!
- If you promise me that the headache will go away, bring it to me. But tell me, what are you doing here?
- Don't worry about me, I was here to take care of you!
- Why take care of me, Jake? I'm not a baby...
- Liz?... Liz, are you okay?
What was it that I felt? A shiver ran through me!
- Jake...
Something's wrong with me! Something's wrong! I can feel it! Because as soon as I said...that word, something inside me tightened... I felt the tightness in my chest again!
Jake came and helped me sit down!
- Calm down Liz, it's okay! Take a deep breath! You're okay!
- Jake!
- I'm here, my Liz!
He said and hugged me!
No! Something doesn't feel right! Something is wrong! His smell isn't familiar! Why is Jake here hugging me? It had to be someone else...I'm sure of it...
- Jake, didn't I have any photos here? Where are they?
- What? What did you say?
- I had some photos up here.
- You changed their position, Liz!
- And where did I put them?
- I have no idea! Come on, relax! I'll get you the juice I told you about.
I got up to walk! The house seemed very empty in some places...only furniture! Nothing else!... I felt an invisible veil of anxiety sitting over me!
I went near the front door, and my eye fell on where we had the keys!
I said..."we" had the keys?
With a trembling hand, I took the key! It was a car key, on the key ring there was a rectangular silver metal,with an engraving: "A+L= 🚨"
My mind started working overtime! Tears started flowing from my eyes!
"A"...like...Alec!
Where is Alec? Why is Jake here and not Alec? Alec should have been here! He should be hugging me! His smell...I can't scent it here... Where is he? The photos? Our wedding! Where is he?
- Tell me, where is he?
- Who?
Jake asked lifelessly, slowly putting the glass of juice on the table!
He was looking at me carefully as if I was going to do something extreme, as if I was on the verge of madness! Or as if I was a bomb and I was ready to explode!
I asked him a question, why was he looking at me like that?
- You know very well what I'm talking about Jake, I'm asking about Alec. Don't look at me like I'm crazy! And where the hell did his photos go? Our photos?
- Come here Liz, I'll tell you after you drink your juice!
- I don't want to drink any juice now Jake! Say it! I want answers and I want them now!
- Liz, I'm a doctor and I'm telling you that you need to drink this to calm down! Come here, take it, please!
I was looking at him suspiciously.
I took the glass and asked him again!
- Come here Liz!
He said and made me sit down!
- This doesn't make sense!... It's the same every time!
He said tiredly, rubbing his face with his hand!
- What's wrong Jake? I don't understand...
I said and left the glass of juice on the table!
- Liz... I don't know what else to do... I did everything I could! You should have calmed down by now, accepted it, and moved on with your life...You can't continue like this! Stop doing this to yourself, Lizzie! This situation is getting out of hand!...You need to take care of yourself and your baby!
- What?
- Come on... Lizzie, you're pregnant, damn it! When are you finally going to accept it, and take care of your baby! If possible! What kind of mother forgets that she's pregnant?
- Jake...what are you saying?...Me...pregnant?
Then I remembered! The sting in that word! I had said previously; "I'm not a baby!"
I was pregnant! It was true!
- Yes, Lizzie! You're pregnant! For about two months now...
- And Alec? Where is Alec?
I saw him put his hands behind his head indignantly!
- Forget about him, damn it! Get him out of your mind! Alec is gone! And where did you find those damn keys? I thought I hid everything away! Where the hell did you find them?
He said and took them from my hands!
- What do you mean by that? Did you hide everything that reminded me of Alec? His photos, his clothes? His things? No! No! That's not true! He's gone on a trip, right? He hasn't return yet, has he? Why did you make his things disappear? Who gave you that right?
I said and stood up.
- Liz, calm down! I finally want you to accept it! Let's get this over with! Ever since...the accident when we found Alec, you don't want to accept it! Every time you threw a fit whenever I told you that Alec...is gone! Your mind refuses to accept it, but it's true! Accept it and move on, damn it! Every time you realize the truth, you scream and go crazy and I pick up your broken pieces, you sleep, you forget, and when you wake up again and remember that he's dead, it's the same thing all over again, and again, an endless cycle of madness and misery and pain! I had to hide all of his things in a room so you wouldn't see them and they remind him, I tried everything damn it! And you found the only thing I forgot to hide, and now it's the same again! I'm tired Liz! Make up your mind finally! I won't babysit you anymore. Yes, Alec is dead!
He said and held me by the shoulders looking me in the eyes tired, exhausted and full of pain that he somehow managed to suppress, and told me more calmly...
- Liz, Alec...We lost him Liz, all right! We saw it together!...
He said with a trembling voice!
No...no...no! My nightmare was real! The fire! The skeletons...Alec melting...no!
- No...Didn't Jake tell me that it was a nightmare? It wasn't true! Alec...my Alec...
- Damn it, enough Liz! Finally accept it! Your Alec is gone! He's dead! DEAD! Understand it! We saw his ashes together! Do you think you're the only one hurting? He was my friend, my only friend, my best friend! I was the one who told you to take care of him, not to hurt him!...I cared about him too, and it cost me to lose him, but I accepted it!
He sat down again, exhausted, ready to be shuttered by the huge weight of loss!
- Alec...dead! And me...how will I live now?...How?...
I curled up hugging my legs.
- You will live for your child Liz.
- The child...the child...the child...! Does anyone ask me if I can? If I want to live? I don't want a life without Alec!
- Enough is enough Liz! Don't be selfish. This is not the time to think only of yourself! Life goes on! You have to be strong, to stand on your own two feet! You won't always have people by your side to support you!
- I never said that I needed support! Why are you here Jake? This is my house and Alec's! I don't need you Jake! I never said that I needed you! Go away! If you're going to hide the truth from me, yell at me and tell me not to be selfish for wanting Alec, then I don't need your help! Go away!
- Lizzie calm down...
- No, I won't! This is who I am Jake, and I'll be like this for a long, long time...for as long as I want! If I want to grieve for a year, I'll do it! If I want to grieve for a lifetime, I'll do it! I won't ask anyone and no one has a say on my grieving, do you understand? And if you don't like it, leave! I don't need nor want your permission for that! No one forced you to be my nanny, my guardian, or to put up with my madness! Go away and leave me alone!
- Liz...I...I'm...trying...to get you back on your feet!...It's been a month! You have to get on with your life!
- How can I get on with my life, Jake? How do you want me to get on with it? How will I be acceptable to you and to the world? By going to work? Going on dates? Getting married again? That will never happen, Jake! My life is Alec! If he left...and left me alone...
I stopped swallowing my tears.
- ...If Alec left...then I'm gone too, Jake! My heart can only be with him! He took my heart with him, Jake! What you see is a hollow vessel, without a heart! I have no feelings left, no love, no nothing! I think I'm drained, and there's nothing left! If I continue to live like you say, it will be to keep my body healthy to give birth to the baby! Nothing else. Don't have any demands or expectations from someone who is dead!
- Don't talk like that, Liz! It hurts me to hear you talking like that!
- I said leave, Jake!
- I will call you every day, Liz! No matter what I say, I will not stop worrying about you!
- Don't worry, Jake, I am not thinking about killing myself... You don't have to confirm that I'm alive...
- I'll call you anyway!...I'll leave you now, be careful...
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I have to continue my life. Okay, I'll keep on living, for the sake of my child! Only for that! I'll be normal! How should a normal widow behave who was married for less than two months and then loses her husband and is pregnant with his child? I don't know... How much time has passed since then? Since the accident? It was the night of the reception at Alec's company when we had a fight because of Kate!
I remember everything!
She vented to Alec that I was that girl from elementary school who we had fought in the yard and later because of me, his father had ruined his life again!
When Alec spoke to me, he had told me that that girl was responsible for the nightmarish turn his life had taken!...I couldn't tell him it was me, because I didn't want him to hate me, so I hid it from him, which shocked him to hear it from Kate!
Later, at home, we had a big fight, he kicked me out and I ran out in the middle of the night, when Alec's father, who ended up knowing Kate, kidnapped me. That's how they knew where we were...Kate had been watching us for a long time and would definitely tell Alec's father everything!...
That's how they found me, kidnapped me and then used me to get Alec!
Kate did everything she did to get Alec, she wanted him for her, but his father wanted him too, maybe that's why he killed her so he wouldn't share him with her! Hahaha!
Finally, Kate did it! She said she would stay with Alec and I would be the one to leave. That's how it happened! They're both dead together. And I'm left alone, back, among the living, but I'm half-dead, like a zombie or something! Hahaha!...How dramatically, and horrifyingly poetic!
Then, when she fell dead, I felt sorry for her, now I hate her because she finally stole Alec from me! No! I don't feel sorry for her! I hope she rots and gets eaten by worms! She's to blame for everything! Because of her, Alec and I fought and everything went to hell...literally!
If I had known that that night would be our last... Before that beast took him away, we only talked for a few minutes... He didn't even let us finish our kiss!... It was the last time I saw him...
He stole Alec from me! He's going to pay dearly for it!
I suddenly jumped up full of energy! Who said that my life was over? It has just filled with purpose and meaning! I felt the adrenaline flowing through my veins and the excitement and enthusiasm taking over me!
I had a lot of work ahead of me!
I smiled slyly and got up to prepare something to eat...that is, to eat. I said and stroked my belly!...
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Alec
2 months ago...
I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed with Connor!
But he insisted on putting a camera in the trees. It was a micro-camera and it wasn't visible at all where he put it! Even if the police came to search the place!
I agreed to his crazy plan, but to put a camera in the trees to make sure that Liz would come and believe what she saw...no, we hadn't even discussed that. So when he called me, I wasn't prepared for what I saw!
After so many days, I finally saw her and Jake! They were my family!
- We had to make sure, Alec, that she believed in the accident and...your death! Only then would you be sure that she wouldn't go out looking for you! Trust me on this, it was the best solution!...
My eyes were glued to the screen! When I saw her bend and fall down, I looked away! I couldn't do it... I couldn't continue this farce...I don't know if such a lie was worth so much pain...
- I didn't know Lizzie had such a sensitive stomach! I had her more stubborn and strong! And she still didn't come close enough to see you...hahahaha!
I turned and glared at him out of the corner of my eye!
- You are a sick fuck, do you know that?
- I just said my thought out loud!
He shrugged indifferently as if nothing was happening. As if everything was normal.
- I may have only known her for a short period of time, but like I told you... I understand a lot about someone's character just by looking into their eyes! I never fall out!
- Yes, yes... you don't have to tell us every time...
- You've been told a second time!
He said and furrowed his brows. Then he looked at me thoughtfully out of the corner of his eye!
- Why are you looking at me like that? With such a good performance, I would throw up too!...I wonder how were you able to find the materials for the set design so quickly...
- These are the secrets of my profession, kid! I have connections...Some people who owe me...so...you understand...
As much as burn everything to the ground could cause a big commotion, it was the only safe way for us to "disappear" without many question marks. Fire destroys important elements, and clues, and it's hard to distinguish features...
The only thing left for them to believe, was that the man in the car, was you, since they couldn't tell from the charred skeletons. Only Liz knew that it was your body. Luckily you were wearing that pendant, so that's why she realized that it was you!...
At that time, I saw Jake looking at Liz in front of the skeleton that was supposed to be me! I could tell from their looks that they saw it! The pendant that Liz had given me for the year we were together. It was her only gift- a key for me and a locker for her. She had told me that it was the key that opened her heart- the only one and I told her I would never take it off and yet I did! I left it there for her to see it and recognize it! It was the only way to convince her that it was me!
I couldn't look any further! I saw Jake trying to hold her! I can imagine her screaming...We only had a picture, but no sound! Better! I don't know if I could take it...
- Stop it!
- Wait!
- I said STOP IT!
I insisted angrily, and grabbed the chair that was next to me and threw it against the wall! Tearing it to pieces!
- Hey! I told you to wait!
He said sternly.
- I'm not fucking waiting! I don't want to see any more!
- But I do!
- Sick bastard! Asshole!
- I said shut up!
He said and rewound the movie a little further!
I went to grab the control from his hands, but by putting his hand in front of me, he made me stop!
He was staring intently at the screen.
- She fainted!
- What?
I said and looked at the screen!
- I didn't expect her to be so sensitive... It was the first time I've seen her like that...Strange!...
- I hope for your sake that all this keeps Liz safe! Because if anything happens to her, the first person I'll kill, will be you!
- Ouch! You flatter me! Will I have this honor?
He said sarcastically.
- What do we do next?
I said and changed the subject because I couldn't stand to see him smirking at me like that!
- Nothing for now! It wouldn't be wise to go out! Let's calm things down a bit and see!
- See? What else do we have to see? Will we stay here? You would take me to my father! Let him find me! I can't go on like this, hiding forever! Let's see what he wants!... The only thing that gives me courage is to get back to Liz! That's all I care about!
- Don't rush, Alec. We will proceed, according to my plan!
- You want to do whatever suits you!
- Well done Alec, you're learning little by little!
He said and smiled slyly.
- But until that moment comes, you have to be ready!
He said.
- Ready for what?
- To meet your father, of course! I don't think you expected me to come unprepared, do you? You'd be very naive if you thought I'd do something like that!
- I'm ready! Take me to him so we can finish this as soon as possible! My patience is starting to wear thin!
I said through my teeth!
- You still have a lot to learn, before we go to him! And for starters, maybe there's a chance you can convince me to take you to your father. If you beat me, I promise I'll take you to him!
- Promises! They've lost their value to me! They mean nothing!
- Okay, then, I promise you nothing! But still, you have to beat me if you want to have any hope!
- Connor! They're here!
One of his minions shouted from outside the room!
- Just in time! Alec, follow me!
- Where are we going?
- You'll see...
He said and got up. He left the room and I, full of curiosity and impatience, followed him...
