Songs about her

I would never have started this story if everything were that simple. But all the pain — it’s in her.

Agatha. I didn’t even notice her. I walked past, never looked her way, and never thought that one day I’d speak to her. Why? You might ask: Was I too shy? No. I’m not ugly — on the contrary, I’m damn good-looking. When I walk down the hall, the girls at college sigh and stare after me. Not too tall, fit, and a musician with long hair. I could have had any of them that same day, but not her. Because this encounter... it wasn’t supposed to happen.

It was a Monday. I showed up for class in a bad mood: the weekend had been too wild — a concert at a bar, a crowd, alcohol flowing freely. I went to bed at dawn, and now my head was splitting. All I wanted was to sit through those damn lectures and crash at home.

But today, of all days, we had a surprise exam. As luck would have it, my friend was late, and we were seated in pairs. And that moment... that day... became the beginning of the end.

— Hey, — she smiled at me sweetly.

— Hey, — my reply was dry, indifferent, as if I wasn’t interested in talking at all.

Agatha moved closer. I involuntarily tensed, catching the scent of her perfume — light, barely noticeable. Then, she suddenly leaned toward me and whispered:

— If you don’t want to do anything, just say so. We’ll pretend we’re working, and I’ll write everything for both of us.

I looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. Of course, I’m not the smartest in the group, but that got to me.

— I never thought of asking for that. Why would you think so?

— Usually, everyone does that when they’re paired with me. They know I can do all the work for them. So I figured you’d be the same...

— I’m not everyone, — I snapped, looking at her more harshly than I meant to.

And then I saw her eyes.

Big, deep, blue, like the clear sky. I even forgot to blink, staring at her as if I’d never really looked at a person before. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed how she reached for me...

— Kayan?

Her voice yanked me out of my stupor. I quickly averted my gaze, distancing myself, pretending nothing had happened.

— Let’s get to work, — I muttered, staring at the sheet, scribbling down something incoherent.

A few moments dragged on painfully. Agatha kept asking questions, discussing our task, and I responded shortly, reluctantly. Not that I didn’t want to talk to her... Quite the opposite. There was something about her... too perfect, too good. And I— an animal. I felt that clearly. As if I were to pounce on her, tear her apart, stain her.

The bell rang. I jumped up, grabbed my things, and left without even saying goodbye.

I could feel her gaze on me.

Let it be.

Better to be a haughty bastard than let myself get involved with her. Than take her and throw her away, like I always did.

— Kayan, wait! — she shouted at my back.

Like a fool, I just quickened my pace.

— You forgot your phone!

I stopped dead.

Shit.

I cursed under my breath, gritted my teeth, and slowly turned around. Agatha was standing a little way off, holding out my phone… and smiling.

Annoying.

I stepped toward her, snatched the gadget from her hand in one motion, but accidentally brushed her fingers — slender, cold. Her skin burned me like ice, and, against my will, I looked up at her again.

Again.

Again, I was caught by that gaze, those damn blue eyes that seemed to hypnotize me.

— Thanks, — I muttered, trying to shake off the fog that was clouding my mind.

Agatha just nodded, smiled again, and without saying a word, walked down the corridor.

And I just stood there, watching her go, catching the sweet scent of her perfume, which seemed to have soaked into the very air around me.

Damn it.