Secrets Of The Deep

I stare out the small window, watching the waves ripple in the water.

I didn’t like it out here. The ocean was so much larger up close, and we still hadn’t explored its murky depth.

What secrets do you hold?

I never voiced those words out loud but it’s like she could hear me. Her waves no longer ripples but a relentless torrent against the rocky shore.

It was captivating yet absolutely terrifying, I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.

I wanted to scream. She could swallow me whole right in that moment. But it hadn’t and I was grateful but also utterly terrified as it was still a possibility that I could wash away.

Why must you be so deadly?

I knew she could hear my thoughts.

What do you hide below your crystalline surface? What is hidden under those ripples?

The wind whistles through the gap under the door. Making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

I watch as the waves continue their assault on the shore, the water foaming as the waves break and roll rhythmically against the rocky shore, the hissing and crashing sound echoes in my mind.

We only see your surface, much like people we never see into your depths. We never get to see your deepest secrets.

Like a magnet, I am drawn to her. Fear ripples through my body, much like the waves I couldn’t draw my eyes from.

My legs move, seemingly of their own accord, stepping away from the window, bare feet feeling the uneven wooden floorboards.

Before I knew it, I was by the door, my hand outstretched, pale fingers wrapping around the cold, brass handle.

Why am I doing this? I do not want to go out there. So why am I moving towards you?

I ask myself. My throat felt tight, like I was being choked by my own breath.

My stomach turns, making me hold my breath, the anxiety rolling off of me in waves, it was almost a palpable energy.

I turn the handle slowly, hesitantly. The handle makes a squeaking noise before clicking, jerking towards me. I must’ve been pulling on it. The hinges groan in protest as I fully open the door.

The salty smell of the briny ocean assaulting my nostrils. Making my eyes tear up.

My skin prickles as the cold, salty wind makes contact with my healed skin. The fresh scars not white yet, some an angry red while others are a yellowish tint.

You’ve killed so many, yet people still love you. You have drowned thousands of men, women and children, yet people keep running back into your waves, laughing and smiling when in the presence of a killer.

I take a step forwards, then another until I was just outside the doorway. My hands fall limply to my sides.

I could feel the sand tickling my toes, it was a sensation I hadn’t felt in years. It made me shudder with nostalgia.

Why am I drawn to your deadly presence?

I stare out at the sea; she had the grace of a dancer and the poise of a killer.

Is it the deadly grace? Is it the sheer beauty? Is it the chaos you somehow turn into a masterpiece? Is it the hypnotic crash of the waves on the shore?

I step forwards, the dry sand caressing my feet. Enveloping the sensitive skin.

I walk along the sand, the soft sand making a noise that reminded me of an hourglass.

The sound of the waves grew stronger the closer I got, my heart racing.

The sand grows damper, I could feel the water lapping at the sand, I take a step closer, the water washing over my feet.

Cold. So cold. Why must you hide behind this cold exterior?

I walk into the water; it went against every instinct in my body. I felt light and almost as if I were under a spell.

The waves were at my waist now, making my clothes stick to my skin.

You are a siren song, so captivating, like a drug I walk into your depths. What are you doing to me?

I let the waves wash me away, my body sinking into the murky depths.

I felt oddly at peace as the water floods my lungs. I didn’t cough or sputter.

I felt light, like I was floating as the dark tendrils of the ocean bring me down.

Why was I so scared of you?

I watch as the light gets dimmer and dimmer as I sink down.

I had never felt so accepted in my life. I was safe here. At the bottom of the ocean.

A soft, melodic voice rings inside my skull, it was her, the ocean, she was talking back to me.

Rest now, my child. You are safe here with me, close your eyes and sleep. You have been fighting for so long, here you don’t need to fight anymore. I will protect you from the world’s cruel hands.

I close my eyes, letting her take over, my body goes limp. I knew this was the end, I would be another one of her victims. But I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t afraid, I was at total peace as the cold embrace of death washes over me.

As the life drains from my body, I hear her voice ringing in my skull once more, bringing me to my eternal slumber.

Welcome home, my sweet child.

END