Full Script
This is your lunch, OK?
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
You remember your phone number?
I wrote it down for you, just in case.
Put it in your pocket,
I don’t want you to lose it.
OK? You ready?
I think so.
It’s Cady’s big day.
emI guess it’s natural for parents to cry
on their kid’s first day of school./em
emBut, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is ./em
emI’m and until today,
I was home-schooled./em
emI know what you’re thinking.
homeschooled kids are… different. And, well, we kinda are./em
X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
emOr that we’re weirdly religious
or something./em
And on the third day,
God created lightning-powered rollerblades,
so Man could outrun
dinosaurs and impress his neighbors.
- Amen.
- Amen.
emBut my family’s totally normal./em
emExcept for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists/em
emand we’ve spent the last
years in Africa./em
emI had a great life./em
emBut then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University./em
emSo it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school./em
I’m OK. Sorry.
I’ll be careful.
Hi.
I don’t know if anyone
told you about me.
I’m a new student here.
My name is Cady Heron.
Talk to me like that again,
and you’re gonna be in big trouble.
You don’t wanna sit there. Kristen
Hadley’s boyfriend is gonna sit there.
Hey, baby.
He passes gas a lot.
Hey, everybody.
Oh, God, I’m so sorry.
It’s not you. I’m bad luck.
Ms. Norbury?
My T-shirt’s stuck
to my sweater, isn’t it?
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
Is everything all right in here?
- Oh, yeah.
- So...
...how was your summer?
- I got divorced.
My carpal tunnel came back.
- I win.
- Yes, you do.
Well, I just wanted to let
everyone know
that we have a new student joining us.
She just moved here
all the way from Africa.
Welcome.
- I’m from Michigan.
- Great.
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.
- Where are you, Cady?
- That’s me.
- It’s pronounced like Katie.
- My apologies.
I have a nephew named Anfernee,
and I know how mad he gets
when I call him Anthony.
Almost as mad as I get
when I think about the fact
that my sister named him Anfernee.
Well, welcome, Cady.
- And thank you, Mr. Duvall.
- Well, thank you.
And...
...if you need anything or if you
wanna talk to somebody...
Thanks.
Maybe some other time,
when my shirt isn’t see-through.
OK.
OK. Good day, everybody.
emThe first day of school was a blur./em
emA stressful, surreal blur./em
emI got in trouble for the
most random things./em
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
You need the lavatory pass.
OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?
Nice try. Have a seat.
emI had never lived in a world
where adults didn’t trust me,/em
emwhere they were always yelling at me./em
- Don’t read ahead!
- No green pen!
No food in class!
I told you, I saw the whole thing.
- Everything.
- Did you see something?
- It only counts if you really saw it!
- That’s true, dude.
emI had a lot of friends in Africa./em
What?
emBut so far, none in Evanston./em
Hey. How was your first day?
Is that your natural hair color?
- Yeah.
- It’s gorgeous.
Thank you.
See, this is the color I want.
This is Damian.
He’s almost too dramatic to function.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice wig, Janis.
- What’s it made of?
- Your mom’s antique rug!
- I’m Janis.
- Hi, I’m Cady.
Do you guys know
where Room G is?
“Health, Tuesday/Thursday,
Room G .”
I think that’s in the back building.
- Yeah, that’s in the back building.
- Yeah, we’ll take you there.
Thanks.
Watch out, please!
New meat coming through!
“Health. Spanish.”
You’re taking th-grade calculus?
- Yeah, I like math.
- Why?
Because it’s the same
in every country.
That’s beautiful. This girl is deep.
Where’s the back building?
It burned down in .
Won’t we get in some
sort of trouble for this?
Why would we get you into trouble?
We’re your friends.
emI know it’s wrong to skip class,
but Janis said we were friends./em
emAnd I was in no position
to pass up friends./em
emI guess I’ll never know what I missed
on that first day of health class./em
Be safe,
because you don’t want to deal with things you’re not ready for.
[Additional Narration by Cady Heron talking about the life of high school in the city/civilization compared to the jungle taken place in the gym, Additional narration begins, narration: 🎤 Cady Heron (Narration – Voiceover, while students settle in the gym) CADY (V.O.):
In the jungle, things are simple.
If you’re hungry, you find food. If a lion chases you, you run. If a monkey steals your lunch, well… you let him have it.
But high school in the city?
It’s a whole different kind of wild.
Back in Africa, animals might compete for survival—but no one talks behind your back or writes your name in a burn book.
Here, it’s not about who can climb the tallest tree…
It’s who can dress the best, text the fastest, or make the most people laugh at lunch.
There’s no roar warning you before someone turns on you.
You just… feel it. A cold look. A hallway whisper. A post that disappears too quickly.
Civilization isn’t calmer than the jungle—it’s just quieter.
And when it comes to surviving this place…
well, let’s just say I had a lot to learn.
[End of Narration] ]
Why didn’t they just keep
home-schooling you?
They wanted me to get socialized.
Oh, you’ll get socialized, all right.
A little slice like you.
- What are you talking about?
- You’re a regulation glamor.
- What?
- Own it.
How do you spell your
name again, Cady?
It’s Cady. C-A-D-Y.
Yeah, I’m gonna call you Cady.
In the name of all that is holy, will you
look at Karen Smith’s gym clothes?
Of course all The Plastics
are in the same gym class.
- Who are The Plastics?
- They’re teen royalty.
If North Shore was emUs Weekly/em,
they would always be on the cover.
That one there, that’s Karen Smith.
She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet.
Damian sat next to her
in English last year.
She asked me how to spell “orange”.
And that little one?
That’s Gretchen Wieners.
She’s totally rich because
her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
Gretchen Wieners knows
everybody’s business.
She knows everything
about everyone.
That’s why her hair is so big.
It’s full of secrets.
And trouble takes a human
form in Regina George.
Don’t be fooled, because she may seem
like your typical selfish, back-stabbing,
troublemaker. But in reality,
she is so much more than that.
She’s the queen bee.
The star. Those other two
are just her little workers.
Regina George.
How do I even begin
to explain Regina George?
Regina George is flawless.
She has two Fendi purses
and a silver Lexus.
I hear her hair’s insured
for $10000
I hear she does car commercials.
In Japan.
Her favorite movie is Honey I Shrunk the kids/em.
One time, she met John Stamos
on a plane.
And he told her she was pretty.
One time,
she shoved me to the mud in the farm
It was awesome.
She always looks fierce.
She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
- Who cares?
- I care.
Every year, the seniors throw
this dance for the underclassmen
called The Spring Fling.
And whomsoever is elected
Spring Fling King and Queen
automatically becomes head of the
Student Activities Committee.
And since I am an active member
of the Student Activities Committee,
I would say, yeah, I care.
Damian, you’ve truly
out-differed yourself.
Here. This map is gonna
be your guide to North Shore.
Now, where you sit in
the cafeteria is crucial
because you got everybody there.
You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys,
preps, JV jocks,
academic all-stars,
the cool crowd,
varsity jocks,
the trendsetters,
the snack lovers,
the diet fanatics,
the try-hards
the chill crew,
the band enthusiasts,
And then there’s us,
the greatest people
you will ever meet
and the worst.
Beware of The Plastics.
Hey. We’re doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.
Can you answer a few questions?
- OK.
- Is your muffin buttered?
What?
Would you like us to assign
someone to butter your muffin?
- My what?
- Is he bothering you?
Jason, why are you such a pest?
I’m just being friendly.
You were supposed
to call me last night.
Jason. You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
and then fool around with some poor, innocent
girl right in front of us three days later.
She’s not interested.
Do you wanna to go out with him?
- No, thank you.
- Good. So it’s settled.
Get lost.
Bye, Jason.
Rude one.
Wait. Sit down.
Seriously, sit down.
Why don’t I know you?
I’m new. I just moved here from Africa.
- What?
- I used to be home-schooled.
Wait. What?
- My mom taught me at home...
- No, no.
I know what home-school is.
I’m not dumb.
So you’ve actually never been
to a real school before?
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
- I didn’t say anything.
- Home-schooled.
- That’s really interesting.
- Thanks.
But you’re, like, really pretty.
- Thank you.
- So you agree.
- What?
- You think you’re really pretty.
- Oh, I don’t know...
- Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
- Where did you get it?
- Oh, my mom made it for me.
- It’s adorable.
- Oh, it’s so fetch.
- What is “fetch”?
- Oh, it’s like , our slogan or motto of our clique, the plastics
So if you’re from Africa...
...why are you white?
Oh, my God, Karen, you can’t just
ask people why they’re white.
Could you give us some privacy
for, like, one second?
Yeah, sure.
emWhat are you doing?/em
OK, you should just know
that we don’t do this a lot,
so this is, like, a really huge deal.
We wanna invite you
to have lunch with us
every day for the rest of the week.
- Oh, it’s OK...
- Coolness.
So we’ll see you tomorrow.
On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
Oh, my God!
OK, you have to do it, OK?
And then you have to tell me all
the horrible things that Regina says.
Regina seems sweet.
Regina George is not sweet.
She’s a sly old filthy cunning wolf!
She ruined my life!
She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.
- Hey, get out of here!
- Oh, my God, Danny DeVito.
I love your work!
- Why do you hate her?
- What do you mean?
Regina. You seem to really hate her.
Yes. What’s your question?
- Well, my question is, why?
- Regina started this rumor
- that Janis was...
- Damian! Shall we not?
Now, look. This isn’t
about hating her, OK?
I just think that it would be, like,
a fun little experiment
if you were to hang out with them and
then tell us everything that they say.
- What do we even talk about?
- Hair products.
- Ashton Kutcher.
- Is that a band?
Would you just do it? Please?
OK, fine.
Do you have anything pink?
- Yes.
- No.
emBy eighth period, I was so happy
to get to math class./em
emI mean, I’m good at math.
I understand math./em
emNothing in math class
could mess me up./em
Hey, do you have a pencil
I can borrow?
emI’ve only had one other
crush in my life./em
emHis name was Nfume,
and we were ./em
emIt didn’t work out./em
emBut this one hit me like a big,
yellow school bus./em
- Cady, what do you say?
em- He was.../em
So cute.
I mean, A-sub-N equals
N plus one over four.
That’s right.
That’s good. Very good.
All right, let’s talk
about your homework.
Hey. How was your second day?
- Fine.
- Were people nice?
- No.
- Did you make any friends?
Yeah.
emHaving lunch with The Plastics
was like leaving the actual world/em
emand entering “Girl World”./em
emAnd Girl World had a lot of rules./em
You can’t wear a tank top
two days in a row,
and you can only wear your
hair in a ponytail once a week.
So I guess you picked today.
Oh, and we only wear jeans
or track pants on Fridays.
Now, if you break any of these rules,
you can’t sit with us at lunch.
I mean, not just you. Like, any of us.
OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today,
I’d be sitting over there
with the art kids.
Oh, and we always vote before we ask
someone to eat lunch with us
because you have to be considerate
of the rest of the group.
Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt
without asking your friends first
- if it looks good on you.
- I wouldn’t?
Right.
Oh, and it’s the same with guys.
Like, you may think you like someone,
but you could be wrong.
A hundred and twenty calories and
calories from fat. What percent is that?
Forty-eight into ?
I’m only eating foods with less than
percent calories from fat.
It’s percent.
Well, over
equals X over
and then you cross-multiply
and get the value of X.
Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.
So have you seen any guys
that you think are cute yet?
Well, there’s this guy
in my calculus class...
- Who is it?
- It’s a senior?
- His name’s Aaron Samuels.
- No!
Oh, no, you can’t like Aaron Samuels.
That’s Regina’s ex-boyfriend.
They went out for a year.
Yeah, and then she was devastated
when he broke up
with her last summer.
I thought she dumped him
for Shane Oman.
OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends
are just off-limits to friends.
I mean, that’s just, like,
the rules of feminism.
Don’t worry. I’ll never tell Regina
what you said.
It’ll be our little secret.
We define the sum
of the infinite geometric series...
emEven though I wasn’t
allowed to like Aaron,/em
emI was still allowed to look at him./em
emAnd think about him./em
emAnd talk to him./em
- Hey, Aar...
- Hey, you’re the Africa girl, right?
- Yeah.
- I’m Kevin Gnapoor,
captain of the North Shore Mathletes.
We participate in math challenges
against other high schools in the state,
and we can get twice as much funding
if we’ve got a girl.
So you should think about joining.
- Oh, you’d be perfect for it.
- Yeah, definitely.
Great, great.
Let me give you my card.
OK, so think it over.
Because we’d like to get jackets.
OK.
Hey!
Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.
emRegina’s like the barbie doll
I never had./em
emI’d never seen anybody
so glamorous./em
- So how do you like North Shore?
- It’s good.
I think I’m joining the Mathletes.
- No! No, no.
- No, no.
You cannot do that.
That is a social disaster.
Damn, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
emBeing at Old Orchard Mall kind of
reminded me of being home in Africa./em
emBy the watering hole.
When the animals are in heat./em
Oh, my God, there’s Jason!
Where? Oh, there he is.
- And he’s with Taylor Wedell.
- I heard they’re going out.
Wait. Jason’s not going out
with Taylor.
No he can’t just ignore you like that.
He’s such a little pest.
Give me your phone.
- You’re not gonna call him, right?
- Do you think I’m an idiot?
No.
- Wedell on South Boulevard.
- Caller ID.
Not when you connect
from Information.
em- Hello?/em
- Hello.
May I please speak
to Taylor Wedell?
She’s not home yet. Who’s calling?
Oh, this is Susan from
Planned Parenthood.
I have her test results. If you can have
her give me a call as soon as she can.
It’s urgent. Thank you.
She’s not going out with anyone.
OK, that was so fetch.
Mom.
Your house is really nice.
I know, right?
Make sure you check out
her mom’s chest job.
They’re hard as rocks.
I’m home! Hey, Kylie.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey!
How are my dear little friends?
Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady.
Hello, sweetheart.
- Hi.
- Welcome to our home.
Just want you to know, if you need
anything, don’t be shy, OK?
There are no rules in this house.
I’m not like a regular mom.
I’m a cool mom. Right, Regina?
- Please stop talking.
- OK.
I’m gonna make you girls
a “hump day” treat.
This is your room?
It was my parents’ room,
but I made them trade me.
Hey, put on ..
Cady, do you even know
who sings this?
- The Spice Girls?
- I love her.
She’s like a Martian.
- God, my hips are huge!
- Oh, please. I hate my calves.
At least you guys can wear halters.
I’ve got man shoulders.
emI used to think there
was just fat and skinny./em
emApparently, there’s a lot of things
that can be wrong on your body./em
- My hairline is so weird.
- My pores are huge.
My nail beds feel dreadful.
I have really bad breath
in the morning.
Hey, you guys.
Fruit Punch Happy hour is from 4:00 to 6:00.
Thanks.
Is there wine in this?
Oh, God, honey, no. What kind
of mother do you think I am?
Do you want a bit? If you’re gonna
drink, I’d rather you do it in the house.
- No, thank you.
- OK.
So, you guys, what is the 411?
What has everybody been up to?
What is the latest gossip?
Tell me everything.
What are you guys listening to?
What’s the cool jams?
Mom.
- Could you go fix your hair?
- OK.
You girls keep me young.
Oh, I love you so much.
Oh, my God, I remember this.
- I haven’t looked at that in forever.
- Come check it out, Cady.
It’s our Burn Book.
See, we cut out girls’ pictures
from the yearbook,
and then we wrote comments.
- “Trang Pak is a silly little pest.”
- Still true.
- “Dawn Schweitzer is a fat maiden.”
- Still half true.
“Amber D’Alessio.”
She got way too friendly with a hot dog.
“Janis the Punk Rebel.”
- Who is that?
- I think that’s that kid Damian.
Yeah. He’s almost too dramatic
to function.
That’s funny. Put that in there.
emOh, no. Maybe that was only OK
when Janis said it./em
[FUNNY/COMICAL POTENTIAL DELETED SCENE WHERE THE PLASTICS, CADY, AND REGINA DISCUSS THE IRONY ABOUT THE WORD “DRAMATIC”, FUNNY SCENE BEGINS, FUNNY SCENE: 🎬
INT. REGINA’S BEDROOM – DAY
[REGINA LOUNGES ON HER BED, WEARING HER WHITE TANK TOP THAT READS “A LITTLE BIT DRAMATIC.” KAREN IS FLIPPING THROUGH A FASHION MAGAZINE, GRETCHEN IS ADJUSTING HER HAIR IN THE MIRROR, AND CADY IS AWKWARDLY HOLDING THE BURN BOOK.
CADY: “WAIT… ISN’T THAT KIND OF IRONIC?”
KAREN (EARNEST):
“I THOUGHT DAMIAN WAS THE NICE ONE WHO GAVE ME THAT LIP BALM THAT ONE TIME.”
GRETCHEN (TURNS, FROWNING):
“WAIT… REGINA, AREN’T YOU WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS ‘A LITTLE BIT DRAMATIC?’”
REGINA (CASUALLY):
“YEAH, BUT I’M DRAMATIC IN, LIKE, A FABULOUS WAY. DAMIAN’S DRAMATIC IN A THEATER-KID, CRY-OVER-A-BROKEN-NAIL WAY.”
CADY (RAISING AN EYEBROW):
“SO… DRAMATIC IS COOL WHEN YOU DO IT, BUT NOT WHEN HE DOES?”
KAREN (NODDING):
“THAT’S LIKE SAYING CHOCOLATE IS ONLY GOOD IF IT’S PINK.”
GRETCHEN:
“…THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.”
KAREN (SHRUGS):
“I STILL STAND BY IT.”
REGINA (WAVES HER OFF):
“LOOK, THE BURN BOOK IS FOR TRUTHS, NOT… FASHION CRITIQUES.”
CADY (TO HERSELF):
“MORE LIKE… SELECTIVE DRAMA.”
THEY ALL GIGGLE. CUT TO CADY’S THOUGHTFUL EXPRESSION AS SHE STARTS NOTICING THE DOUBLE STANDARDS.]
]
[END OF FUNNY POTENTIAL DELETED SCENE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE IRONY OF BEING DRAMATIC]
And they have this Burn Book
where they write mean things
- about all the girls in our grade.
- What does it say about me?
- You’re not in it.
- Those idiots.
- Will this minimize my pores?
- No. Cady,
you gotta steal that book.
- No way!
- Oh, come on. We could publish it,
and then everybody would see
what a jennet she really is.
- I don’t steal.
- That is for your feet.
Cady, there are two kinds
of evil people.
People who do evil stuff,
and people who see evil stuff
being done and don’t try to stop it.
Does that mean I’m morally
obligated to burn that lady’s outfit?
Oh, my God, that’s Ms. Norbury.
I love seeing teachers
outside of school.
It’s like seeing a dog
walk on its hind legs.
Hey, guys, what’s up?
I didn’t know you worked here.
Yeah, moderately priced soaps
are my calling.
- You shopping?
- No, I’m just here with my boyfriend.
Joking. Sometimes older people
make jokes.
My grandma takes her wig off
when she’s tired.
Your grandma and I have that
in common.
No, actually, I just work a couple nights a week
down at P.J. Calamity’s.
Cady, I hope you do
join Mathletes, you know,
because we start in a couple weeks
and I would love
to have a girl on the team,
just, you know, so the team
could meet a girl.
- I think I’m gonna do it.
- Great.
You can’t join Mathletes.
It’s a social disaster.
Thanks, Damian.
Well, this has been
sufficiently awkward.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, man, that is bleak.
So when are you gonna
see Regina again?
I can’t spy on her anymore.
It’s weird.
Come on, she’s never gonna find out.
It’ll be like our little secret.
- Hello?
- I know your secret.
emOh, God, busted./em
emJust start apologizing and crying.
No, play it cool./em
Secret?
What are you saying about?
Gretchen told me
that you like Aaron Samuels.
I mean, I don’t care,
do whatever you want.
But let me just tell you something
about Aaron:
All he cares about is school
and his mom and his friends.
- Is that bad?
- But if you like him...
Whatever. I mean, I could talk
to him for you if you want.
Really? You would do that? I mean,
nothing embarrassing, though, right?
Oh, no, trust me.
I know exactly how to play it.
But wait. Aren’t you so mad
at Gretchen for telling me?
- No.
- Because if you are,
you can tell me. It was a really
Nasty thing for her to do.
Yeah, it was pretty nasty,
but I’m not mad.
I mean, I guess she just
likes the attention.
See, Gretch? I told you
she’s not mad at you.
I can’t believe you think
I like attention!
OK, love you. See you tomorrow.
emI had survived my first
three-way calling attack./em
emAnd with Regina’s blessing, I started
talking to Aaron more and more./em
emOn October rd, he asked me
what day it was./em
It’s October rd.
emTwo weeks later, we spoke again./em
It’s raining.
Yeah.
emBut I wanted things to move faster./em
emSo I followed my instincts./em
Hey, I’m totally lost.
Can you help me?
em- But I wasn’t lost./em
- Yeah.
emI knew exactly what Ms. Norbury
was talking about./em
It’s a factorial, so you multiply
each one by N.
emWrong./em
Is that the summation?
Yeah, they’re the same thing.
emWrong. He was so wrong./em
Thanks. I... I get it now.
Lights, please.
OK. See you guys tomorrow.
We’re having a Halloween party
at my friend Chris’ tonight.
You wanna come?
Yeah, sure.
Great. Here’s where it is.
It’s a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
OK.
That flier admits one person only,
so don’t bring some
other guy with you.
Okay.
See you tonight.
Hey, Africa. You staying
for the Mathletes meeting?
Yeah, I’ll be right back.
emOK, I lied. But I had to go home
and work on my costume./em
emIn the regular world, Halloween is
when children dress up in costumes/em
emand beg for candy./em
emIn Girl World, Halloween
is the one night a year/em
emwhen a girl can dress
However they want and/em
emand no one will
Judge them for it./em
emThe hard-core girls get to wear sleevless shirts/em
emand some form of animal ears./em
Doesn’t she look great, honey?
- What are you?
- I’m a mouse.
emUnfortunately, nobody mentioned there were
….unspoken rules about costumes ./em
emSo I showed up like this./em
Hey.
Yes! Yes!
Hey.
Why are you dressed so scary?
It’s Halloween.
Have you seen Jason?
You know who’s looking fine tonight?
Seth Mosakowski.
- OK, you did not just say that.
- What? He’s a good kisser.
He’s your cousin.
Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
- Right.
- So you have your cousins
and then you have your first cousins,
- then you have your second cousins...
- No, honey.
That’s not right, is it?
That is so not right.
- Hey!
- Hey.
You made it.
And you are... a zombie bride.
An “ex-wife”.
Love it. Can I get you
something to drink?
- Yeah.
- Be right back.
Thanks.
Karen, stop it.
- Don’t, Karen...
- Hey, Seth!
Hey.
Oh, no.
Didn’t anybody tell you?
You were supposed
to wear a costume.
Cut it out. I need to talk to you.
- You know that girl Cady?
- Yeah, she’s cool.
I invited her tonight.
Well, be careful because
she has a huge crush on you.
Really? How do you know?
Because she told me.
She tells everybody.
It’s kind of cute, actually.
She’s like a little girl. She, like,
writes all over her notebook,
“Mrs. Aaron Samuels.”
And she made this T-shirt that says
“I heart Aaron”
and she wears it
under all her clothes.
- Oh, come on.
- Well, who can blame her?
I mean, you’re gorgeous.
And OK, look, I’m not saying
she’s a stalker,
but she saved
this Kleenex you used
and she said she’s gonna do
some kind of African voodoo with it
to make you like her.
What?
emThis was it./em
emRegina said she would talk
to Aaron for me, and now she was./em
I know she’s kind of socially dumb
and weird, but she’s my friend,
so just promise me
you won’t make fun of her.
Of course I’m not gonna
make fun of her.
emHow could Janis hate Regina?/em
emShe was such a good.../em
Em Oh no! I can’t believe this/em
What are you doing?
You broke up with me.
That’s crazy. Why would
I break up with you?
You’re so handsome.
That’s a scary mask, bro.
emI had never felt this feeling before./em
emI could hear my heartbeat in my ears./em
emMy stomach felt like it was
About to drop./em
emI had this lump in my throat like
after you dry-swallow a big pill./em
emI hated Regina. I hated her!/em
She took him back.
Regina took Aaron back.
- Oh, no, Cady.
- Why would she do that?
Because she’s a life-ruiner.
She ruins people’s lives.
When we were she made
people sign this petition
- saying that Janis was...
- Damian! Please!
Look, she’s not gonna get away
with this again, OK?
- We’re gonna do something.
- We are?
Regina George is basically a witch in disguise.
How do you stop a witch?
You throw a bucket of water
Regina would be nothing without
her picture perfect looks (like weight)
...much older boyfriend (though ironically speaking Aaron in a high school student who is the same age like everyone)
Flashy fashion sense
...and group blindly devoted fans
Now, Cady, if we want this to work,
you are gonna have to keep hanging
out with them like nothing is wrong.
Can you do it?
I can do it.
OK, let’s rock this thing.
emPretending like nothing was wrong
turned out to be surprisingly easy./em
Regina wanted me to tell you that she
was trying to set you up with Aaron,
but he was just interested
in getting her back.
And that’s not Regina’s fault.
- No, I know.
- OK, so you’re not mad at Regina?
- God, no.
- Oh, OK, good.
Because Regina wanted me
to give you this.
It’s called
the South Beach Fat Flush,
and all you drink is
cranberry juice for hours.
This isn’t even cranberry juice.
It’s cranberry juice mocktail.
It’s all sugar.
- I wanna lose 3 pounds.
- You’re crazy.
Why do you wear your hair like that?
You hair looks so fabulous pushed back.
Cady, will you please tell him
his hair looks fabulous pushed back.
emRegina was parading Aaron
in front of me on purpose./em
emI knew how this would be
settled in the animal world./em
emBut this was Girl World./em
Your hair looks fabulous pushed back.
emAnd in Girl World,
all the fighting had to be sneaky./em
All this cranberry juice
is making me break out.
Wait. I have this really good
skin stuff I’ll bring you.
OK.
emWe kept our eyes open
for opportunities for sabotage./em
Regina.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Your face smells like peppermint.
emThis stinks, you guys./em
It’s been a month, and all we’ve done
is make Regina’s face smell like a foot.
I’ve been really busy with choir.
We gotta catch Gretchen Wieners.
We catch Gretchen,
and then we catch the lock
on Regina’s whole dirty history.
- Say “Catch” again.
- Catch.
- All right, let’s reconvene tonight.
- I can’t.
I have to go to Regina’s
to practice for the talent show.
- We’re doing a dance to this song...
- “Jingle Bell Rock.”
You guys know that song?
Everybody in the English-speaking
world knows that song.
They do it every year.
Well, I have to learn it.
Go.
- Hey.
- Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
I don’t know, I mean, she’s so weird.
She just, came up to me
and started talking to me about catch.
She’s so ridiculous.
Let me tell you something
about Janis Ian.
We were best friends
in middle school.
I know, right?
It’s kind of funny
to think about now
So in eighth grade, I started
Dating my first boyfriend,
Kyle, he was totally cute,
but then he moved to Indiana.
And Janis got super
Weird about it.
Like, if I hung out with Kyle instead of her,
she’d be like,
“Why didn’t you call me back?”
And I’d be like, “Why are you
so obsessed with me?”
Then, for my birthday party,
which was an all-girls pool party,
I didn’t invite her because
Because, well… I thought she didn’t fit in.
So then her mom called my mom
and totally freaked out.
It was so over the top.
Then she kind of disappeared for a while
and,
When she came back
To high school,
She had totally changed
-like, new look, new attitude-just totally different.
Oh, my God!
I love your skirt.
Where did you get it?
It was my mom’s in the ’s.
Vintage. So adorable.
Thanks.
That is the most hideous skirt
I’ve ever seen.
Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
Where did you get it?
So are you gonna send
any candy canes?
No. I don’t send them,
I just get them.
So you better send me one
Love you.
emI was definitely sending her one./em
emI was gonna use three candy canes
to catch Gretchen Wieners./em
Three, please.
“Why, Man, he doth bestride
the narrow world like a colossus”
might translate into
“Why is he so huge
and obnoxious?”
- Candy cane-grams!
- OK, hurry up.
Taylor Zimmerman?
Two for you.
Glenn Cocco?
Four for you, Glenn Cocco.
You go, Glenn Cocco.
And Cady Heron.
Do we have a Cady Heron here?
- It’s Cady.
- Oh, Cady, here you go.
One for you. And none
for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.
Who’s that from?
“Thanks for being such
a great friend. Love, Regina.”
That’s so sweet.
OK, back to Caesar.
emOnce Gretchen thought
Regina was mad at her,/em
emthe secrets started pouring out./em
emAll I had to do was wait for one
we could use./em
Thank you.
Welcome to the North Shore
High School winter talent show.
Let me hear you make some noise.
All right, settle down.
Our first act calls himself
a star on the rise.
Let’s hear it for Damian.
Don’t look at me.
emEvery day is so wonderful/em
I mean, why would Regina send
you guys candy canes and not me?
Maybe she forgot about you.
Yeah, Regina has been acting
kind of weird lately.
I mean, is something bothering her?
Well, I mean, her parents totally
don’t sleep in the same bed anymore,
if that’s what you mean.
Oh, my God.
Don’t tell her I told you that.
emI am beautiful in every single way/em
emYes, words can’t bring me down/em
emDon’t you bring me down today/em
I mean, no offense,
but why would she send
you a candy cane?
She doesn’t even
like you that much.
Maybe she feels weird around me
because I’m the only person
that knows about her nose job.
Oh, my God.
Pretend you didn’t hear that.
emYo, yo, yo/em
emAll you fools MCs
Ain’t got nothing on me/em
emFrom my grades to my rhymes
You can’t touch Kevin G/em
emI’m a Mathlete
So nerd is inferred/em
embut forget what you heard
I’m like James bond the Third/em
emShaken not stirred
I’m Kevin Gnapoor/em
emThe G is silent
When I sneak in your door/em
emAnd hang out with your woman
On the bathroom floor/em
emI don’t play it like Shaggy
You’ll know it was me/em
embecause the next time you see her
She’ll be like/em
em- Kevin G!/em
- Thank you, Kevin, that’s enough.
Happy holidays, everybody.
K.G. And the Power of Three.
That was something.
Does it bother you that they still
use your original choreography?
Cut it out.
Damn.
- What?
- I’d rather see you out there
shaking that thing.
Gretchen, switch sides with Cady.
But I’m always on your left.
That was when there were three of us,
and now the tallest go in the middle.
But the whole dance
will be backwards.
I’m always on your left.
And right now you’re getting
on my last nerve. Switch.
And finally,
please welcome to the stage
Santa’s Helpers doing
“Jingle Bell Rock”.
emJingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock/em
emJingle bells swing
And jingle bells ring/em
emSnowing and blowing
Up bushels of fun/em
emNow the jingle hop has begun/em
emJingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock/em
emJingle bells chime
In jingle bell time/em
emDancing and prancing
In Jingle bell Square/em
emIn the fr.../em
Jason?
emWhat a bright time
It’s the right time/em
emTo rock the night away/em
emJingle bell time
Is a swell time/em
emTo go riding in a one-horse sleigh/em
emGiddyap jingle horse
Pick up your feet/em
emJingle around the clock/em
emMix and mingle in a jingling beat/em
emThat’s the jingle bell/em
emThat’s the jingle bell/em
emThat’s the jingle bell rock/em
That was the best it ever went!
- That was awesome.
- Lip gloss.
- Hey, good job, Africa.
- Thanks.
Cady’s blushing. Oh, my God.
- You totally have a crush on that guy.
- No, I don’t.
That’s why you wanted
to join the Mathletes.
Mathletes? You hate math.
Look how red she is.
You love him. And he totally
complimented you.
That is so fetch.
Gretchen, stop trying
to make “fetch” happen.
It’s not going to happen.
“Why should Caesar get to stomp
around like a giant
“while the rest of us try not to get
smushed under his big feet?
“What’s so great about Caesar?
“Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.
“OK, Brutus is just
as smart as Caesar.
“People totally like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar.
“And when did it become
OK for one person
“to be the boss of everybody?
“Because that’s not
what Rome is about!
“We should totally vote for the idea that Caesar should be taken down!”
emGretchen Wieners had finally reached her limit./em
OK, if you even knew how mean
she really is.
You know that I’m not allowed
to wear hoop earrings, right?
Yeah. Two years ago, she told me
that hoop earrings were her thing
and that I wasn’t allowed
to wear them anymore.
And then for my Hanukkah,
my parents got me this pair
of really expensive white-gold hoops.
And I had to pretend
like I didn’t even like them,
and it was so sad.
And did you know she hangs out
With Shane Oman every Thursday
Aaron thinks she’s at SAT prep.
But really, she’s sneaking off
To the projection room
above the auditorium,
and I never told anyone,
because...
...I thought being loyal made me a good friend.
emJackpot. Gretchen’s secret
had put the plan back in motion./em
emAfter Christmas break,
we tried every Thursday/em
emto help Aaron catch Regina
in the act./em
Hey.
Hey, what’s up?
My purse!
Looks like he’s headed
for the projection room
above the auditorium!
Coach Carr?
Trang Pak?
Guys, why did we think
We could do this? We’re amateurs.
No, we just have to regroup.
Think outside our box.
What are Kälteen bars?
They’re these weird
Swedish nutrition bars.
My mom used to give them to the kids
in Africa to help them gain weight.
They’re these weird nutrition bars
my mom uses to lose weight.
Give me it.
It’s all in, like, Swedish or something.
Yeah, you know, there’s some
weird ingredient in them
that’s not legal in the U.S. Yet.
- Ephedrine?
- No.
- Phentermine.
- No.
It burns carbs.
It just burns up all your carbs.
I really wanna lose 3 pounds.
Oh, my God,
what are you talking about?
You’re so skinny.
Shut up.
emThe weird thing about
hanging out with Regina/em
emwas that I could hate her,
and at the same time,/em
emI still wanted her to like me./em
OK. You have really
good eyebrows.
- Thanks.
- Move.
emSame with Gretchen.
The meaner Regina was to her,/em
emthe more Gretchen
tried to win Regina back./em
emShe knew it was better to be
in The Plastics, hating life/em
emthan to not be in at all./em
emBecause being with The Plastics
was like being famous./em
emPeople looked at you all the time,/em
emand everybody
just knew stuff about you./em
That new girl
moved here from Africa.
I saw Cady Heron wearing
Army pants and flip-flops,
so I bought Army pants
and flip-flops.
That Cady girl is fabulous.
She might even be fabulous
than Regina George.
I hear Regina George
is dating Aaron Samuels again.
The two were seen kissing
at Chris Eisel’s Halloween party.
emThey’ve been inseparable ever since./em
emI was a woman possessed./em
emI spent about percent
of my time talking about Regina./em
emAnd the other percent
of the time,/em
emI was praying for someone
else to bring her up/em
emso I could talk about her more./em
She’s not even that good-looking
if you really look at her.
I don’t know.
Now that’s she’s getting pretty big
like a humpback whale ready to chase a little wooden boy.
emI could hear people
getting bored with me./em
emBut I couldn’t stop. It just kept
coming up like word vomit./em
I have this theory that if you cut all her
hair off, she’d look like a British man.
Yeah, I know.
You told me that one before.
Hey, I’m having an art show.
So why don’t you take
a night off from your double life.
- I want you to see it.
- Coolness.
What is that smell?
Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
You smell like a mischievous little rascal who tried to wear ballerina clothes made out of pig fur.
Thanks.
emMeanwhile, I was finding any excuse
I could to talk to Aaron./em
I don’t get this.
Do you get any of this?
Nice job, Cady.
Kind of seems like you get it.
emIf I was gonna keep this going,
I was gonna have to really commit./em
Not your best.
Damn, Africa, what happened?
- How’d you do?
- Not so good.
You know, I think I need a tutor.
I’ll tutor you, if you ever wanna get
together after school or something.
Do you think Regina would mind?
No. You guys are friends.
Well, maybe we just won’t tell her.
So, what did you get for this one?
Well, the first time I did it,
I got a zero.
em- Wrong./em
- But then when I checked it, I got...
...one.
em- There you go./em
I got one too.
Yeah, you have to check it
because sometimes the product
of two negative integers
is a positive number.
Yeah, like negative four
and negative six.
That’s right. That’s good.
Well, you’re a good tutor.
Man, look, I... I can’t do this.
- It’s not fair to Regina.
- Why do you like her?
Look, I know she can be really
mean sometimes, but...
- Then why do you like her?
- Why do you?
Look, there’s good and bad
to everybody. Right?
Regina’s just...
- She’s just more up-front about it.
em- Oh, no. It was coming up./em
emThe word vomit.
I didn’t mean to say it, but.../em
She’s cheating on you!
What?
Did he say why?
Somebody told him
about Shane Oman.
Who?
He said some guy
on the baseball team.
Baseball team?
I gave him everything.
I was still kind of new to all of this when I first met him.
You wanna do something fun?
You wanna go to Taco Bell?
I can’t go to Taco Bell,
I’m on an all-carb diet.
God, Karen, you are so stupid!
Regina, wait. Talk to me.
- Nobody understands me.
- I understand you.
You’re not stupid, Karen.
No. I am, actually.
I’m failing almost everything.
Well, there must be something
you’re good at.
I can put my whole fist
in my mouth.
Wanna see?
No. That’s OK.
Anything else?
I’m kind of psychic.
I have a fifth sense.
- What do you mean?
- It’s like I have ESPN or something.
My chest can always tell
when it’s gonna rain.
Really? That’s amazing.
Well, they can tell when it’s raining.
emI have to admit,
I was mildly horrified/em
emwhen Aaron didn’t immediately
ask me to be his girlfriend./em
emI mean, I know he was sad,
but how much time did he need?/em
emRegina had moved on./em
Do you kids need anything?
Some snacks?
A juice box?
Let me know.
Oh, love you guys!
emBut overall, the plan
was going pretty well./em
emAaron had dumped Regina,
and she was unknowingly/em
emeating calories a day./em
emIt was time to turn our attention
to the army of her loyal followers./em
emAnd finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:/em
Regina George.
emGretchen Wieners./em
emJanis Ian./em
What is happening to the world?
emAnd the final nominee.../em
I couldn’t help myself.
It was so easy.
em... is Cady Heron./em
Damian, you put me in there too?
That’s not part of the plan.
I didn’t put you in there.
You mean I’m really nominated?
emIn January, Regina had put
a Spring Fling dress on hold/em
emat a store called -./em
emBut being Plastic,
she needed our advice/em
embefore she could actually buy it./em
Can someone zip me up?
- It won’t close.
- It’s a .
OK, it must be marked wrong.
Cady, all I’ve been eating are
these Kälteen bars, all they do, is make my body inflate like a balloon.
No, no, this is just how they work.
This is all your water weight.
First you bloat, and then you
drop pounds like that:
Well, the Kälteen bars
have burned up all your carbs,
and now your body’s
just running on water.
But once the water’s gone,
then you’ll be all muscle.
It explains it all on the label.
You know Swedish?
Yeah, everyone in Africa
can read Swedish.
Ma’am, do you have this
in the next size up?
Sorry. We only carry
sizes and .
You could try Sears.
Cady.
I need your parents to sign this
so they know that you’re failing.
Failing?
You know what’s weird
about your quizzes, Cady,
is that all the work is right
and just the answers are wrong.
- Really?
- Really.
Cady, I know that having a boyfriend
may seem like the most important
thing in the world right now,
but you don’t have to dumb yourself
down to get guys to like you.
em- How would you know?/em
- I know,
“How would I know”, right?
I’m divorced.
I’m broke from getting divorced.
The only guy that ever calls my house
is Randy from Chase Visa.
And you know why?
Because I’m a pusher.
I push people.
I pushed my husband into law school.
That was a bust.
I pushed myself
into working three jobs.
And now I’m gonna push you
because I know
you’re smarter than this.
Thanks, Ms. Norbury.
And if there’s anything I can do
for extra credit, please let me know.
Oh, I will.
I hate her! I mean, she’s totally
failing me on purpose
because I didn’t join
those stupid Mathletes!
She was so different
She was like, “I’m a pusher, Cady.
I’m a pusher.”
What does that even mean?
- She was acting like she was doing something she shouldn’t”?
- Probably.
She said she works three jobs.
She’s always whispering on the phone.
What if she’s…….
Bending the rules to make extra money
You let it out, honey.
Put it in the book.
emI know it may look
like I was being mean,/em
Em and honestly, I was.
I wasn’t being my best self./em
Hey, I called you last night.
How come you didn’t call me back?
Oh, I got busy. Sorry.
So you need a ride to my art show
this weekend?
No. I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
I’m so sorry.
Well, you wanna
watch a movie tonight?
Can’t. I’m doing major
Plastic sabotage tonight.
But we don’t have anything
planned for tonight.
Oh, I planned this one on my own.
Love you. Bye.
Gretchen thinks you’re mad at her
because she’s running
for Spring Fling Queen.
Oh, my God, I’m not mad at her.
I’m worried about her.
I think somebody nominated her
as a joke or something.
And when nobody votes for her,
she’s gonna have a total meltdown.
And who’s gonna have
to take care of her? Me.
So you don’t think
anyone will vote for her?
Cady, she’s just…not exactly Spring Fling queen material.
I mean, that sounds bad,
but whatever.
The Spring Fling Queen
is always super stylish.
And the crazy thing is
it should totally be Karen,
but people forget about her
because she’s just not the type of person that anyone would take seriously.
Anyway, I gotta go.
I’m going to bed.
Well, she’s not mad at you.
- Hold on.
- Are you OK?
- Hello?
- If someone said something bad
about you, you’d want me
to tell you, right?
- No.
- What if it was someone
you thought was your friend?
What are you...?
Hold on. Other line.
- I’m not taking this anymore.
- Good for you, Gretch.
- Hello?
- Let’s go out.
OK. Hold on. I’m on the other
line with Gretchen.
Don’t invite Gretchen.
She’s driving me nuts.
- Hold on.
- OK, hurry up.
It’s Regina.
She wants to hang out with me
tonight, but she told me not to tell you.
Do not hang out with her.
- Why?
- You don’t want me to tell you.
You can tell me. Hold on.
Oh, my God,
she’s so annoying.
Who is?
- Who’s this?
- Gretchen.
Right. Hold on.
- Oh, my God, she’s so annoying.
- I know. Just get rid of her.
OK. What is it?
Regina says everyone hates you
because you’re such a fool.
She said that?
You didn’t hear it from me.
- Little rude, Gretch.
- Whatever. She has a right to know.
I can’t go out.
I’m sick.
Boo You Pipsqueak.
Regina,
we have to talk to you.
Is butter a carb?
Yes.
Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants.
It’s Monday.
- So?
- So that’s against the rules
and you can’t sit with us.
Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
- Because that vest was disgusting.
- You can’t sit with us!
These sweatpants are all
that fits me right now.
Fine.
You can walk home, sassy folks.
Watch where you’re going, Big Old Hippo!
emGretchen and Karen followed me
around all afternoon./em
- So, what are we doing this weekend?
- Yeah, what are we doing?
Oh, I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
What...?
We have tickets for this thing.
- What?
- What?
emWas I the new queen bee?/em
I can try and get out of it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Because I told my friend Janis
I’d go to her art show.
We’ve had these tickets for months.
You love emLadysmith Black Mambazo/em.
But she’s my friend,
and I made her a promise.
I think Cady’s old enough
to spend one night on her own.
emI had learned how to control
everyone around me./em
Hey. I’m having a small get-together
at my house tomorrow night.
- Is Regina going?
- No. Do you think I’m an idiot?
No, it’s just gonna be
a few cool people,
and you better be
one of them.
- Fine, I’ll go.
- Cut it out.
I love that shirt on you.
emAaron Samuels was going to be
in my house at my party./em
emEverything had to be perfect./em
emAnd this time when Aaron saw me,/em
emI wouldn’t be caught
in some ridiculous costume./em
Hey, guys.
- You look awesome!
- You look awesome!
I know, right?
OK, so I got enough cheese
and crackers for eight people.
Do you think that’s enough?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
OK.
emIt was not enough./em
emSomehow, the word had gotten out
about my small get-together./em
Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.
He’s just using her
to make you mad.
- Have you guys seen Aaron yet?
- No.
Dude, put on
“The Ramayana Monkey Chant”.
- Do I know you?
- Hey, what’s up missy?”
She thinks she’s gonna have
a party and not invite me?
- Who does she think she is?
- You’re right, hon.
I, like, invented her,
you know what I mean?
Jason.
I have to talk to you.
Whatever.
- I love you.
- I know, I know.
Hey! Put that down!
emDid Aaron forgot about mef?/em
What’s up?
Gretchen came to talk to me.
em- Oh, no./em
- Look,
You seem cool,
but I’ve already got my eye on someone else.
I’m heading to the restroom.
Get out.
[Scene where Regina confronts Karen and Gretchen about the sabotage Cady is doing behind Regina’s back in which Regina wasn’t even aware of, scene begins, REGINA’S CONFRONTATION WITH KAREN AND GRETCHEN AT CADY’S PARTY SCENE: INT. CADY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT The party is in full swing. Pop music plays softly in the background. Students laugh and snack on chips. The camera pans to a fuming Regina George as she walks briskly toward Karen and Gretchen, who are sitting on the couch, sipping pink lemonade.
REGINA (arms crossed, glaring): Okay, what is going on?
KAREN (cheerfully oblivious): Um...we’re at a party?
GRETCHEN (flustered): Regina, what’s wrong?
REGINA: What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! I just got dumped by Aaron Samuels out of nowhere! He told me he “needs honesty” and that I’ve “been shady.” What does that even mean?
KAREN: Wait...you and Aaron broke up again?
REGINA: Yes, Karen. Again. And I’ve been trying to figure out why! Then I looked in the mirror and realized—my white tank top has purple holes in it! Purple! Holes! Like somebody took a marker and dot-danced on me!
GRETCHEN (stammering): Maybe it’s a new trend? You...you always start trends...
REGINA: Oh, and let’s not forget the sweatpants disaster. I wore them on Monday. Monday! I had nothing else that fit because I’ve mysteriously gained ten pounds in the past two weeks, and now my entire wardrobe is turning on me!
KAREN (confused): But you’ve been eating those fancy energy bars. You said they were “miracle metabolism boosters.”
REGINA: I thought they were! They were imported from Sweden and everything!
GRETCHEN: Maybe they’re expired?
REGINA (snapping): They better be expired. Or cursed. Or BOTH. Because if those bars had anything to do with this... (Regina trails off, taking a breath. Her voice softens, for once.)
REGINA: I don’t get it. People are acting weird around me. Like...they’re not afraid anymore. Even Jessica C. told me my purse was “kinda last year.” She used to tremble when I looked at her!
KAREN (sincerely): Maybe people just...aren’t scared of you when you’re in sweatpants?
REGINA (squinting): What is that supposed to mean?
GRETCHEN: Okay, Regina, we didn’t do anything! We just came to the party like you told us. You said you were fine with Cady. You called her a Plastic, remember?
REGINA: I thought she was. But now I’m wondering if she’s more than that. I mean, she shows up, hangs out with us, plays dumb in math class, and next thing I know, everything in my life is unraveling.
KAREN: Maybe it’s just...life?
REGINA: No. No, Karen. This isn’t life. This is sabotage. Calculated. Quiet. Sugar-coated. I don’t know how...but someone is pulling strings. And it’s working. (Gretchen and Karen shift uncomfortably.)
REGINA: And you two—you’re just standing there. Aren’t you supposed to be my friends?
GRETCHEN: Of course we are!
REGINA: Then why does it feel like you’re letting me fall?
KAREN: We didn’t know you were falling...
GRETCHEN: Regina, we’re not against you. We just—we don’t know what’s going on. (Regina steps back, genuinely wounded but hiding it under her glare.)
REGINA: No one does. That’s the scariest part. (She turns and storms off toward the hallway, accidentally brushing against Kevin G, who’s balancing a fruit punch in each hand. She doesn’t even notice.)
KAREN (to Gretchen, quietly): Do you think...Cady’s the one doing this?
GRETCHEN (uncertain): I don’t know. But something’s off. Regina’s right about that. ✨
Scene Ends With: Regina walking into a dim hallway, wiping something from her eye, unaware that the final betrayal (Cady kissing Aaron) is just moments away.
[End of Scene] ]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I’ve been looking
for you everywhere.
Me too.
You look...
- New clothes?
- Thanks.
You wanna go downstairs?
No, no. Let’s stay here.
Thanks for getting me
to come out tonight.
Yeah, sure, no problem.
I wasted too much time
being pissed off at Regina.
No more liars.
I would never lie to you.
I know, I know.
Although...
OK, listen.
I mean, I did lie to you once,
but you’re totally gonna laugh
when I tell you, so...
Tell me what?
I pretended to be bad at math
so that you’d help me.
But the thing is,
I’m not really bad at math.
I’m actually really good at math.
You’re kind of bad at math.
Anyways, now I’m failing.
Isn’t that funny?
Wait. You’re failing on purpose?
That’s stupid.
No. Not on purpose.
Just, you know...
I just wanted a reason to talk to you.
So why didn’t you just talk to me?
Well, because I couldn’t.
Because of Regina.
Because you were her property...
- Her property?
- No. Cut it out. Not her property...
No, don’t tell me to cut it out.
- I wasn’t...
- God, you know what?
You are just like a clone of Regina.
Oh, no, no, listen to me.
You’re not listening to me...
emOh, no. It was coming up again.
Word vomit. No, wait a minute.../em
- What is this?!
em- Actual vomit./em
Aaron!
Aaron, wait! Just...
OK. Call me.
- Oh, God.
- You dirty little liar.
I’m sorry. I can explain.
Explain how you forgot
to invite us to your party?
Janis, I cannot stop this car.
I have a curfew.
You know I couldn’t invite you.
I had to pretend to be Plastic.
Hey, buddy, you’re not
pretending anymore.
You’re Plastic.
Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.
Curfew, a.m. It is now :.
Did you have an awesome time?
Did you eat awesome fast food & drink awesome soda?
and listen to awesome music,
and then just sit around and soak up
each other’s awesomeness?
You’re the one who made me like this
so you could use me
for your eighth-grade revenge.
God! See, at least me and
Regina George know we’re mean.
You try to act like you’re so innocent.
Like, “Oh, I used to live in Africa
“with all the little birdies
and the little monkeys.”
You know what? It’s not my fault
That you have a huge fascination with me or something!
- What?!
- Oh, no she did not!
See? That is the thing
with you Plastics.
You think that everybody
Adores you,
But actually, everybody is sick of you!
Like Aaron Samuels, for example-
He broke up with Regina
and guess what?
He still doesn’t want you!
So why are you still messing
with Regina, Cady? I’ll tell you why.
Because you are a mean girl!
You’re just plain awful!
Here. You can have this.
It won a prize.
And I want my pink shirt back!
I want my pink shirt back!
Hon, slow down.
It’s like I can’t trust anyone anymore.
Why are you eating a Kälteen bar?
- I’m starving.
- Man, I hate those things.
Coach Carr makes us eat those when
we wanna move up a weight class.
What?
They make you gain weight like crazy.
Mother...
This girl is despicable, most awful person
I’ve ever met.
Do not trust her. She is just the worst?
I found it in the girls’ bathroom.
It’s so awful, Mr. Duvall.
Is this true?
Trang Pak hung out with Coach Carr?
Good Lord.
What’s that say?
“Kaitlyn Caussin is a...“?
Fat old hippo
OK, calm down, Miss George.
Why would anybody write that?
That’s just so awful.
Don’t worry, we’re gonna
find out who did it.
There’s only three girls
in the whole school who aren’t in it.
Listen up, kids.
As you grow up,
You’re going to have feelings.
Big feelings. But if you don’t make smart choices…
Things can get complicated. So just remember
Respect yourself, respect others, and stay focused.
Now go play some dodgeball.
Coach Carr.
Cady Heron, they wanna see you
in the principal’s office.
All right, chlamydia. K-L-A...
In here, Miss Heron.
- What’s going on?
- Have a seat, Miss Heron.
- Have you ever seen this before?
- No.
I mean, yes, I’ve seen it before,
but it’s not mine.
You better get your story straight,
Miss Heron,
because I’m not messing
around here.
It’s not ours, it’s Regina’s.
Yeah, she’s trying to make it look
like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.
Miss Wieners, why would Regina
refer to herself as a ”worst despicable, most awful person“?
Miss Smith, this is no time
to be laughing.
We’re gonna get to the bottom
of this right now.
Maybe we’re not in that book,
because everybody likes us.
And I don’t wanna be punished
for being well-liked.
And I don’t think my father,
the inventor of Toaster Strudel,
would be too pleased
to hear about this.
“Got too friendly with a hot dog”?
Oh, my God, that was one time!
“Dawn Schweitzer is a fat maiden”?
Who would write that?
Who wouldn’t write that?
“Trang Pak hung out
with Coach Carr”?
And so did Sun Jin Dinh.
Hey! Hey! Settle down!
All right, hey.
No. You do not push and sh...
Do you have anything else
you wanna say?
No, I can’t answer any
more questions
until I have a parent
or lawyer present.
Miss Smith?
Whoever wrote it probably didn’t
think anyone would ever see it?
I hope that nobody else
ever does see it.
Mom, can you pick me up?
I’m scared.
- “Janis the Punk Rebel”?
- That’s original.
- “Too dramatic to function”?!
- Hey!
That’s only OK when I say it.
- Did you write this?
- No, I swear!
- Then you told somebody!
- She told!
- You little fool!
- You’re a fool!
Yeah! Take your shoes off!
- Now, here’s what we’re gonna do...
- Ron, come quick!
They’ve gone wild.
The girls have gone wild.
emIt was full-tilt jungle madness./em
emAnd it wasn’t going away./em
Hey, I pulled these two off each other.
Coach Carr, step away
from the underage girls.
Let me help you down there.
Heck, no! I did not leave
the Southside for this!
Oh, crap! My hair!
All junior girls report to the gymnasium
immediately! Immediately!
emHave you ever walked up to people/em
emand realized they were just
talking about you?/em
emHave you ever had it happen
times in a row?/em
emI have./em
Never in my years as an educator
have I seen such behavior.
And from young ladies.
I got parents calling me on the phone
asking, “Did someone get shot?”
I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.
No!
- No.
- What are we supposed to do?
Now, I can tell by the looks on your faces that you’re pretty shaken up.
And honestly get it. But I’m not canceling the rest of the assembly
we already booked the DJ.
and he brought glow sticks.
So let’s all take a breath.
That said—don’t think for one second that what’s in this ‘Burn Book’ isn’t serious.
It’s hurtful. It’s mean. And it has real consequences.
Coach Carr has… taken an unexpected leave of absence.
Miss Norbury’s been unfairly accused of something completely untrue, and it’s caused a lot of stress.
What this grade really needs is a reset—a little kindness refresh.
And guess what? That starts right now.
I don’t care how long it takes—we’ll be here all afternoon if we have to.
You’re not leaving until we talk this through and learn how to treat each other better.
Now, what we’re gonna try to do
is fix the way you young ladies
relate to each other.
OK? Lady to lady.
So who has a lady problem
that they’d like to talk about?
Yes?
Somebody wrote in that book
that I’m making stuff up just
because I use the extra-absorbent kind of medicine…
But I can’t help it if my
Body’s a little different
Yeah, I can’t do this.
Ms. Norbury.
You’re a successful, intelligent,
caring, graceful woman.
I am?
There has to be something
you can say to these young ladies.
Something to help them
with their self-esteem?
It’s not a self-esteem problem.
I think they’re all pretty
pleased with themselves.
OK.
OK. Everybody close your eyes.
I want you to raise your hand
if you have ever had a girl
say something bad
about you behind your back.
Open your eyes.
Now, close your eyes again.
And this time, I want you to raise
your hand if you have ever
said anything about a friend
behind her back.
Open them.
There’s been some
girl-on-girl crime here.
OK. So, what we could do today
is a couple exercises to help you
express your anger in a healthy way.
Let’s start over here.
emMs. Norbury had us confront
each other directly/em
emabout the things
that were bothering us./em
emAnd it seemed like every clique
had its own problems./em
You’ve been acting really stuck-up
ever since you switched to shortfielder.
And Dawn agrees with me.
- Dawn?
- Don’t drag me into this,
I’m pitching tomorrow.
OK. Good.
Can I just say that we don’t have
a clique problem at this school?
And some of us shouldn’t have to take
this workshop, because some of us
are just victims in this situation.
That’s probably true.
How many of you
have ever felt personally
victimized by Regina George?
Good. OK, who’s next?
Who’s next?
Cady.
Do you have anything
you wanna own up to?
emYes.
No./em
You never made up a rumor
about anybody?
emJust that you sell stuff that you’re
Not supposed to sell which is illegal & against the law./em
No.
Nothing you want to apologize for?
emI couldn’t apologize to Ms. Norbury/em
emwithout getting blamed
for the whole burn book./em
No.
I’m really disappointed in you, Cady.
OK, so we’re all here
cause of this book, right?
Well, I don’t know
who wrote this book,
but you all have got to stop
calling each other cheaters and fools.
It just makes it OK for guys
to call you cheaters and fools.
Who here has ever been called a fool?
OK, everybody up.
emMs. Norbury had us
write out apologies/em
emto people that we’d hurt in our lives./em
“Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you
names.”
“It’s not your fault
For being different.”
“Gretchen,
“I’m sorry I laughed
at you that time you got bathroom emergency
“at Barnes and Noble.
“And I’m sorry I told everyone about it.”
And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
Laura, I don’t hate you
because you’re rude.
You’re rude because I hate you.
I just wish we could all get along
like we used to in middle school.
I wish that I could bake a cake
made out of rainbows and smiles,
and we’d all eat it and be happy.
She doesn’t even go here!
Do you even go to this school?
No. I just have a lot of feelings.
OK, go home.
Sharon, I think you’re doing
a great job.
Thanks. I feel like I’m getting through.
I’m sorry that people
are so jealous of me.
But I can’t help it that I’m popular.
Oh, my God! Oh, jeez.
OK, walk it off. Walk it off.
OK. That hurt.
They’re OK.
They’re OK.
Oh, boy. OK, who’s next?
Who’s next? Keep it going.
Oh, my God. It’s her dream come true,
diving into a big pile of girls.
OK, yeah, I’ve got an apology.
So I have this friend
who is a new student this year.
And I convinced her that it would be
fun to mess up Regina George’s life.
So I had her pretend
to be friends with Regina,
and then she would come
to my house after
and we would just laugh about
all the dumb stuff Regina said.
And we gave her
these candy bar things
that would make her gain weight,
and we turned her best friends
against her.
And then... Oh, yeah, Cady...
You know my friend Cady.
She hung out
with Regina’s boyfriend
and then convinced him
to break up with her.
Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream
instead of face wash.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, Regina.
Really, I don’t know why I did this.
I guess it’s probably because
I totally look up to you!
Take that!
emJanis! Janis! Janis! Janis!/em
Regina!
Regina, wait! I didn’t mean
for that to happen.
To find out that everyone hates me?
It doesn’t matter!
Regina, please! Regina, stop!
No! Do you know
what everyone says about you?
They say that you are some
home-schooled jungle bum,
who’s a less glamorous version of me.
Yeah. So don’t try to act so innocent.
You can take that fake apology
and shove it right up your furry little...
emAnd that’s how Regina George died./em
emNo, I’m totally kidding.
But she did get hurt./em
emSome girls say they saw her head
go all the way around./em
emBut that’s just a rumor.
Some people swear they saw me/em
empush her in front of the bus.
That was an even worse rumor./em
- Everybody done?
- No. Mom, I didn’t do it.
I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Mom, believe me.
I’m your daughter.
Why are my tribal vases
under the sink?
My tribal vases.
Why were they under the sink?
I don’t know.
This is the ceremonial vase
of the Ndebele tribe.
- Does that mean anything to you?
- No.
Who are you?
Great. All my friends hate me,
and now my mom hates me.
Your mom does not hate you.
She’s afraid of you.
I don’t know, maybe we
mainstream-schooled you too soon.
Maybe you should come back and
be home-schooled again for a while.
No. Only thing worse than
going back will be not going back.
How bad’s it gonna be tomorrow?
Remember when we saw those lions
fighting over the wart hog carcass?
I’ll be the wart hog.
You’re not a wart hog,
you’re a lion.
Just focus on your studies
for a little while.
You’re still an excellent student, right?
Oh, yeah. I need you to sign
my calculus test.
- Why?
- I’m failing.
OK. You are...
What do they call it?
Grounded.
You’re grounded.
She pushed her in front of the bus.
Did you see her do it?
Yes.
Did your teacher ever try to offer you
Anything inappropriate- like something not meant for students,
Like inappropriate tablets.
- No.
- What are… inappropriate tablets?
What’s going on?
Where’s Ms. Norbury?
Officer,
Ms. Norbury is a responsible and dedicated teacher.
She doesn’t give out anything harmful.
I know, Aaron. But after
the allegations against Coach Carr
turned out to be extremely true,
the school board felt that it was best
that we investigate every claim made
in this Burn Book.
That book was written
by a bunch of stupid girls
who make up rumors
because they’re bored
with their own lame lives.
Well, unless someone wants to come
forward and say, “I made it all up”,
this is how we have to handle it.
To say that someone...
emOh, no. Bye, Aaron.
You’re gonna hate me forever./em
Mr. Duvall.
I wrote it.
Come on, Cady.
emWhen you get bit by a snake,/em
emyou’re supposed to take
the poison out./em
emThat’s what I had to do.
Take all the poison out of my life./em
emI started with Regina,/em
emwho was living proof that the more
people are scared of you,/em
emthe more flowers you get./em
[Regina’s tragic backstory reveal with Karen and Gretchen aside, tragic backstory scene begins, TRAGIC BACKSTORY OF REGINA GEORGE: Scene Setup:
THE SETTING IS REGINA GEORGE’S HOUSE, WHERE CADY, KAREN, AND GRETCHEN ARE ALL GATHERED IN THE BASEMENT. IT’S DIMLY LIT AND FILLED WITH BOXES AND OLD FILES — A REFLECTION OF REGINA’S NEGLECTED PAST. CADY, NARRATING IN THE BACKGROUND, WOULD PROVIDE A SUMMARY AND INTERPRETATION OF THE DOCUMENTS THEY’RE LOOKING THROUGH, PAINTING A PICTURE OF REGINA’S DIFFICULT UPBRINGING. THE DOCUMENTS THEMSELVES COULD INCLUDE PHOTOS, LETTERS, AND PERSONAL NOTES, BUT THEY WOULDN’T BE SHOWN IN DETAIL — ONLY THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT OF THEIR CONTENTS WOULD BE CONVEYED.
THE SCENE:
CUT TO THE BASEMENT OF REGINA’S HOUSE. KAREN AND GRETCHEN ARE SEATED AT A TABLE, FLIPPING THROUGH PILES OF DOCUMENTS. THE ATMOSPHERE IS HEAVY, WITH SOFT, MELANCHOLIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND. CADY’S VOICEOVER NARRATION BEGINS, OFFERING A GLIMPSE INTO THE TRUTH BEHIND REGINA’S BEHAVIOR.
CADY (NARRATING):
“I ALWAYS THOUGHT REGINA GEORGE WAS JUST THE GIRL EVERYONE LOVED TO HATE. SHE HAD EVERYTHING — BEAUTY, POPULARITY, THE PERFECT LIFE. BUT WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW WAS THAT BEHIND THOSE PERFECT CURLS AND THAT CONFIDENT SMILE WAS A WORLD OF PAIN. A PAIN SO DEEP, IT SHAPED EVERYTHING SHE BECAME. IT WASN’T JUST THAT SHE WAS MEAN. IT WAS THAT SHE HAD TO BE.”
CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF KAREN LOOKING AT A PIECE OF PAPER, HER FACE CONFUSED, AS GRETCHEN LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER. BOTH SEEM UNSETTLED BY WHAT THEY’RE READING.
CADY (NARRATING):
“REGINA’S MOM, JUNE, BECAME SINGLE WHEN REGINA WAS YOUNG. BUT INSTEAD OF FEELING SAD FOR HER, SHE TURNED ALL OF HER FRUSTRATION AND LONELINESS ONTO REGINA. SHE TREATED REGINA LIKE AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN, AS IF HER DAUGHTER WAS JUST ONE MORE THING TO MANAGE. AS IF REGINA WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE MORE THAN SOMETHING TO FIX HER OWN BROKEN LIFE.”
KAREN LOOKS UP FROM THE PAPER, VISIBLY DISTURBED, AND QUIETLY MUTTERS TO HERSELF.
KAREN: (SOFTLY) “THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. REGINA… I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE HAD EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT.”
CADY (NARRATING):
“JUNE MADE IT CLEAR THAT REGINA WASN’T IMPORTANT, THAT SHE WASN’T REALLY WORTH HER TIME. SHE WOULD IGNORE HER NEEDS, TREAT HER LIKE SHE WAS A PROBLEM. ALL THOSE YEARS OF TRYING TO BE PERFECT… THEY WEREN’T BECAUSE REGINA WAS SPOILED OR PRIVILEGED. IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS DESPERATE FOR APPROVAL, DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO TELL HER SHE MATTERED.”
GRETCHEN’S EXPRESSION SOFTENS AS SHE FLIPS THROUGH ANOTHER DOCUMENT. SHE LOOKS OVER AT KAREN, CLEARLY UPSET BY THE REALIZATION.
GRETCHEN: “NO WONDER SHE’S ALWAYS PUSHING EVERYONE AWAY… I NEVER REALIZED HOW HARD HER LIFE MUST HAVE BEEN. SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANYONE WHO CARED ABOUT HER, DID SHE?”
CADY (NARRATING):
“NO ONE, EXCEPT FOR HERSELF. REGINA BUILT UP WALLS TO PROTECT HERSELF FROM THE CONSTANT HURT. SHE BECAME THE ‘QUEEN BEE’ BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO PROVE SHE WAS WORTH SOMETHING — WORTH BEING NOTICED. BUT IT WASN’T JUST ABOUT BEING THE MOST POPULAR GIRL. IT WAS ABOUT SURVIVAL.”
CUT TO CADY STANDING AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS, LISTENING TO THE CONVERSATION BELOW AS KAREN AND GRETCHEN CONTINUE TO SIFT THROUGH THE DOCUMENTS.
CADY (NARRATING):
“AS I LEARNED MORE, I REALIZED THAT THE REGINA WE KNEW WAS JUST THE SHELL OF SOMEONE WHO HAD BEEN BROKEN DOWN TOO MANY TIMES. THE BULLYING, THE INSULTS, THE MANIPULATION… IT WASN’T JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE IN CONTROL. IT WAS BECAUSE SHE HAD NEVER LEARNED HOW TO TRUST ANYONE. SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE BECAUSE NO ONE EVER SHOWED HER WHAT LOVE REALLY WAS.”
CUT TO A FLASHBACK-STYLE MOMENT, SOFT AND MUTED IN COLOR, SHOWING A YOUNGER REGINA SITTING ALONE IN HER ROOM WHILE JUNE STANDS IN THE BACKGROUND, SPEAKING COLDLY.
JUNE (AS A VOICEOVER, STERNLY): “YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR YOUR DRAMA? YOU’RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. A BURDEN. A MISTAKE.”
REGINA LOOKS CRUSHED, ALONE, AND ISOLATED, WHICH TRANSITIONS BACK TO THE PRESENT.
CADY (NARRATING):
“AND THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME. REGINA WASN’T THE VILLAIN. SHE WAS THE VICTIM OF A WORLD THAT NEVER CARED ABOUT HER. AND I REALIZED… THAT TO BE THE ‘QUEEN,’ YOU DON’T HAVE TO TEAR OTHERS DOWN. MAYBE REGINA HAD LEARNED THE WRONG WAY TO FIT IN… BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS FOREVER.”
CUT BACK TO KAREN AND GRETCHEN, WHO EXCHANGE LOOKS OF SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING AS THEY SIT IN SILENCE, THE WEIGHT OF THE TRUTH SINKING IN.]
(END OF TRAGIC BACKSTORY OF REGINA GEORGE SCENE)
emThen there was Ms. Norbury,/em
emwho was living proof that no
good deed goes unpunished./em
Oh, hi. Did you wanna
buy some illegal stuff.
- I’m just done with my quiz.
- Wait. I’ll grade it right now.
I gotta say, watching the police
search my house
really was the cherry on top
of a fantastic year.
How much trouble did you get in
for telling the truth?
A lot.
You didn’t write that whole book
yourself.
Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?
No, because I’m trying
this new thing
where I don’t talk about people
behind their backs.
That’s all right. Getting hit by a bus
is pretty good punishment.
Ninety-four.
Welcome back, nerd.
Thanks.
Anyway...
...I’m sorry.
I forgive you.
But as my own personal
form of punishment,
I figured out how you’re gonna
earn that extra credit.
What’s up?
Excellent. Great turnout this year.
- All right. It’s all you.
- OK.
- Make me look good out there.
- OK.
Marymount, you rascals!
You no-good rascals.
- You nervous?
- Yes.
Don’t be. You can do this.
There’s nothing to break your focus,
because not one of those
Marymount boys is cute.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the Illinois High School
Mathletes State Championship.
Let’s start the competition.
Here is the first question.
Twice the larger of two numbers
is three more than five times
the smaller, and the sum
of four times the larger
and three times the smaller is .
What are...?
- North Shore?
- Fourteen and five.
That is correct.
Question number two.
Find an odd three-digit number
whose digits add up to .
The digits are all different, and the
difference between the first two digits
equals the difference between...
- Marymount?
- Correct.
em- Shoot. I was really rusty./em
- Where’s Cady?
- She went out.
She’s grounded.
Are they not allowed out
when they’re grounded?
Don’t forget to vote for Spring Fling
King and Queen, people.
These guys will represent you
for a full calendar year.
I’m gonna vote for Regina George
because she got hit by that bus.
I’m voting for Cady Heron
because she pushed her.
She’s supposed to be grounded,
but he let her out.
After minutes of very
competitive play, we have a tie.
In the event of a tie, we move
into a sudden-death round.
Each team is given the opportunity
to choose their opponent.
- North Shore, who do you select?
- The girl, dude. The girl.
Contestant Krafft.
From Marymount,
Miss Caroline Krafft.
We pick the girl too.
And from North Shore,
Miss Cady Heron.
It’s Cady.
Oh, my God, that’s me.
emMiss Caroline Krafft seriously
needed to pluck her eyebrows./em
emHer outfit looked like it was picked out
by a blind Sunday school teacher./em
emAnd she was wearing some 99 cent
lip gloss on her crooked smile./em
emAnd that’s when I realized,
making fun of Caroline Krafft/em
emwouldn’t stop her
from beating me in this contest./em
Contestants,
find the limit of this equation.
emCalling somebody else fat
won’t make you any skinnier./em
emCalling someone stupid
doesn’t make you any smarter./em
emAnd ruining Regina George’s life
definitely didn’t make me any happier./em
emAll you can do in life is try to solve
the problem in front of you./em
- The limit is negative one.
em- Oh, crap. I lost./em
That answer is incorrect.
Now, we are in a sudden death.
If Miss Heron can answer
this problem correctly,
we have a winner.
emLimits. Why couldn’t I remember
anything about limits?/em
emLimits. That was the week
Aaron got his hair cut./em
emOh, God, he looked so cute.
OK, focus, Cady./em
emWhat was on the board
behind Aaron’s head?/em
emIf the limit never approaches
anything.../em
The limit does not exist.
The limit does not exist!
Our new state champions,
- the North Shore Mathletes.
- Yeah!
How do you like me now?
You like that? Yeah!
Get some! Get some!
Awesome. You went
with the leather sleeves.
- Africa, you did the damn thing.
- Thanks.
Thanks, K.G.
We’re gonna look so awesome
in these when we roll into Spring Fling.
- Oh, no, I’m not going.
- What?
Cady, this is your night.
Don’t let the haters
Keep you from shining.
Did you just say “shining”?
Cady, you don’t have to punish
yourself forever.
But I’m grounded.
You’re already out.
All right, do we have all
of our nominees
for king and queen on the stage?
OK, good. I just wanted to say
that you’re all winners.
And I could not be happier
that this school year’s ending.
Here we go. The winner
of the Spring Fling King,
- Shane Oman.
- Yes!
That’s what I’m talking about!
And your Spring Fling Queen,
future co-chair
of the Student Activities Board
and winner of two gift certificates
to the Walker Brothers
Pancake House,
Cady Heron.
Where is Cady?
There she is.
Thanks.
Well, half the people in this room
are mad at me.
And the other half only like me
because they think I pushed
somebody in front of a bus.
So that’s not good.
You know, it’s not really required
of you to make a speech.
I’m almost done, I swear.
To all the people whose feelings
that got hurt by the Burn Book,
I’m really sorry.
You know, I’ve never been
to one of these things before.
And when I think about
how many people wanted this
and how many people
cried over it and stuff...
I mean, I think everybody
looks like royalty tonight.
Look at Jessica Lopez.
That dress is amazing.
And Emma Gerber, I mean,
that hairdo must have taken hours,
and you look really pretty.
So...
...why is everybody stressing
over this thing?
I mean, it’s just plastic.
Could really just...
Share it.
A piece for Gretchen Wieners,
a partial Spring Fling Queen.
A piece for Janis Ian.
Seriously, most people
just take the crown and go.
And a piece for Regina George.
She fractured her spine,
and she still looks like a rock star.
Thank you.
And some for everybody else.
God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up?
Thanks.
All right, have a good time, everyone.
Look. I’m a queen.
As am I.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So are we still in a fight?
Are you still a jennet?
I don’t think so.
Well, then I guess we’re OK.
Oh, my God, I love this song!
I hate this song.
I know this song!
Man candy, stage right.
- Hey, what’s up?
- Hey. Didn’t think you’d make it.
On behalf of the senior class, I’d like to
present you with two gift certificates...
- Thanks Aaron.
- Yo, peace.
One gift certificate to
the Walker Brothers Pancake House.
Thank you.
Congratulations on winning State.
I was so nervous.
They made us do limits.
I thought I was gonna hurl.
- How’s your stomach now?
- It’s fine.
- Do you feel nauseous at all?
- No.
- Have you been drinking?
- No.
OK.
Cool.
No.
- What’s up?
- Can I help you?
You Puerto Rican?
Lebanese.
I feel that.
emIn case you’re wondering,
The Plastics broke up./em
emRegina’s spine healed,
and her physical therapist/em
emtaught her to channel
all her rage into sports./em
emIt was perfect because
the jock girls weren’t afraid of her./em
emKaren used her special talents to do
the morning weather announcements./em
Hi. This is Karen Smith.
It’s degrees,
and there’s a percent chance
that it’s already raining.
emAnd Gretchen found herself
a new clique/em
emand a new queen bee to serve./em
emAaron went to Northwestern,
so I still get to see him on weekends./em
emAnd me?/em
emI had gone from home-schooled
jungle bum to solid Plastic/em
emto most hated person in the world
to partial spring fling queen to actual human being./em
Hey.
emAll the drama from last year
just wasn’t important anymore./em
emSchool used to be like a shark tank,
but now I could just float./em
Regina.
emFinally, Girl World was at peace./em
Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
emAnd if any freshmen
tried to disturb that peace.../em
emWell, let’s just say we knew
how to take care of it./em
emJust kidding.
NOTE: In this version of Mean Girls, June/Regina’s Chihuaha doesn’t bite or chew June’s Pink Velour sweater in the boobs area, the scene where Regina tries the sleeveless light pink Spring Fling dress while Cady, Karen, Gretchen were there at the mall seeing it with the Asian woman saying “Try SEARS” the reveal of Regina’s bra being shown in the Backview has been toned down, all kissing scenes have been moderately toned down leaving the only scenes that feature kissing are Aaron & Regina and Aaron & Cady, any signs of nudity are toned down keeping only the tank tops/sleeveless shirts, shorts, & miniskirts, all sleeveless prom dresses and miniskirts including the ones in Jingle Bell Rock have been extended to the knees, the scene where Miss Norbury’s bra has been shown when Cady accidentally spilled coffee in the beginning of the film has been adjusted to show only the tank top behind the sweater no indication of bra, the scene when Gretchen Weiners was announced as one of the candidates for the Spring in the background of the classrol where there is a poster saying “and old lace” with the picture of the liquor bottles, the liquor bottles have been removed from picture of the poster that says “and Old Lace”, all scenes that have anything to do with sex via writing on the chalkboard in Coach Carr’s class has been removed from the chalkboard, any gay/same sex kissing including gay/same sex kissing in Halloween party scenes have been removed, the black skirt of Karen Smith’s mouse costume has been extended to her knees, the red shirt where Gretchen’s T-shirt says “Royal Punk” gets replaced with “Royal Dunk”, the pink tank top Cady wore which had the word “Rebel” on the shirt, the word “rebel” is removed from the pink tank top, all scenes that contain violence, have been toned down, redone in either comical/slapstick manner, and simply removed, some drinking scenes during the Halloween party has been slightly-moderately toned down, all alcoholic beverages have been replaced by fruit punches/non alcoholic beverages/soda/juice/water whether it’s the Halloween Party, Party at Cady’s house, or anywhere else throughout the film, Any scenes involving Regina’s
Younger sister Kylie watching beach infomercial on TV & whatever is on TV within the movie itself gets replaced with scenes from The Wiggles (dancing to Hot Potato, Fruit Salad, Do The Monkey) on TV within the movie itself, none of the characters including Cady look drunk & none of the characters including Cady are drunk, none of the characters including Cady are on drugs, All Regina and Shane Oman sex scenes with less clothing have been replaced with them with more clothes talking about school, friends, community, & their gossip, all scenes that contain anything sexual between Trang Pak/Sun Jin Dinh & Coach Carr in the projector room above the auditorium has been replaced with them only sitting on chairs talking to each other having a normal conversation in the projector room above the auditorium, all party scenes at Cady’s house especially drinking scenes have been toned down & replaced with scenes of Regina questioning Karen and Gretchen, why she has been gaining weight after eating Kalteen Bars, (oblivious that Kalteen Bars are the culprit of her weight gain until Shane Oman tells her), why she wore sweatpants on the wrong day & her sweat pants got messed up, why Aaron broke up with Regina, and questioning why she has been losing her loyal followers, the Halloween costume Regina George wore on Halloween particularly the black panty gets replaced & extended with a black knee length skirt, Janis Ian’s Purple Prom Tux (even though Janis Ian is a girl) and braided hair gets replaced by a black hairbun which is her regular hairstyle, black sleeveless gown, skull necklace, & gothic earrings, the scene when Cady vomited has been replaced with a scene of Cady’s house while she was vomiting, during the Glen Coco scene that featured the chalkboard that had “To thy sex captive but that this brd” written in the chalkboard has been erased along with others that has written in the same side of that quote, the catchphrase “shut up” has been replaced with “cut it out” throughout the entire film, Coach Carr’s infamous sex speech has been replaced with a simplified general warning about doing dangerous stuff that have consequences speech followed by additional narration by Cady Heron talking about the life of high school in the city/civilization compared to the jungle taken place in the gym, Regina George’s high pitched screaming vocals had been redubbed by Tara Strong in a smooth manner, some of the intensity of the vocal performances of the scenes have been adjusted to keep it smooth without taking away the authenticity of the original, there is a deleted scene presented where Cady, Karen, Gretchen, & Regina talk about the irony of the word “dramatic” in Regina’s room at her house, there is also additionally a scene revealing that Regina has a dark tragic backstory revealing why she is the 2 faced backstabbing manipulating queen bee/bully/monster, after Regina got hit by a bus, when Cady visited Regina, Karen and Gretchen were there, they went downstairs to the basement, they looked at documents, the text of the documents are not directly shown, they are blank documents but according to Cady’s inner thoughts, narration, and a short flashback, Regina’s mom June pretends to be a cool mom in public but in private, she doesn’t truly love Regina, she treats Regina like an accident/mistake unless Regina is a useful asset to use her beauty to exploit it for profit.
