The Beast of Amaroka

“Mama i’m chasing a ghost,

I don’t know who he is.”

~ Tyler the Creator

The sound of rushing water filled my ears. It was roaring, but there was a nice consistent hum to it. The hums came out echoey, almost as if the water was speaking to me in a language I didn’t quite understand. The humidity in the air was causing sweat to appear by my hairline and on my upper lip. I could smell the scent of damp soil in the air. An orchestra of birds were singing all around me combined with the occasional rustle of hidden creatures moving through the underbrush.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes. I sat in front of a small natural pool surrounded by smooth flat rocks, which was being fed by the massive multi level waterfall above. Thick vegetation surrounded it with vines, ferns, and moss. A constant flow of mist was helping the sunlight create a rainbow. The water was cool and clear, as it reflected the trees and mist of the falls. Behind the waterfall was a hidden grotto for a moment of solitude.

As always, I stood and started heading towards the forest surrounding me. I could already hear her laughing. Following the sound, I paid attention to the lightness of it. Much like the falls itself, her laugh echoed. It sounded like wind chimes on a windy day. Fog slithered through the trees, as my eyes scanned in between them. I could feel her warmth guiding me through the forest to her. All I could hear was the roaring falls and the rustling of creatures in the leaves. The scent of the air went from damp soil to a light lilac. A figure started to appear from the fog. I could hear a wolf cry in the distance. Just as the figure was coming into view, my vision started to fade away.

“You’re absolutely joking!” I cried. I rubbed my eyes as my meditation room came into view. To my right was a tan hanging chair with a pillow on it. Ahead underneath the tapestries and posters was a long wooden table that was used as an altar. It was covered with crystals, tarot cards, incense, candles, and photos and mementos of my grandfather. My jasmine incense was still burning, filling the whole room. The rest of the room was littered with cushions and blankets, all organized neatly: every cushion had a folded blanket on top of it.

My eyes went straight to the poster hanging directly in front of me. The sun sets to rest, but never forgets to rise again. Taking a deep breath, I settled myself into a final meditation before heading out to the kitchen.

Like always, my aunt and grandmother sat at the kitchen bar talking with my mom, as she cooked. Watching her cook was always a spectacle no matter how many times I had watched her. She glided around the kitchen with ease barely needing to completely focus on what her hands were doing. The room was filled with the smell of garlic and seasoned ground beef. My mom was currently at the stove, stirring the beef in the saucepan.

“Rena!” my aunt cried.

I smiled, as I walked further into the room.

In usual fashion, my aunt was dressed in business attire, since the moment she’s done work, she’s headed to our house. Due to the tons of piercings over her body, mainly on her face, and the tattoos that covered her body, I often forgot about her being a child psychologist. Her dark brown locs were up on the top of her head in a messy bun. It was slightly collapsing, nearing time for my aunt to redo it.

Beside her was my grandmother. Although my aunt was the tallest in the family, due to her slouching in every chair she sat in, my grandmother looked taller than her. My grandmother’s hair was contained within a sunburst headscarf that matched the kaftan she had on. Due to the amount of accessories she wore, every slight movement she made was followed by a jingle from her earrings and or bracelets banging against one another.

To stay close to my mom but remain out of the way, I stood in the walkway in between the kitchen and the dining room.

“Did you have a good meditation?” my mom asked, her back to me.

“I keep having the same vision,” I said.

“Oooh!” my aunt cried, as she rubbed her hands together. “Sounds like Rena has a revelation coming soon.”

I cracked a small smile.

“What happens in the vision?” my grandmother asked.

“I’m by this giant waterfall and I feel a pull towards the forest like someone familiar is there,” I said. “Yet, when I approach them the whole vision vanishes.”

“Sounds like a juicy one,” my aunt jabbed.

My mom turned around and approached the counter in front of the kitchen bar. She placed the fork in her hand down before grabbing a bowl of brown rice. My mom headed back to the stove to combine the rice with the beef.

“Relax, Sel,” my mom said, as she moved. “It could mean anything.”

I started tapping my fingers against my thighs, as my eyes traveled around the room to find something to do with my hands. “Should I be worried?”

“Yes and no?” my aunt questioned.

“Great…” My eyes landed on the fork my mom had just placed down on the counter. I grabbed it, as I started spinning it in between my fingers. “How do I know when it’s going to happen?”

“It might not be literal, kiddo,” my aunt said.

“She’s right,” my mom said, as she walked back to the counter. She put her hand directly in the spot that she had left the fork. My mom looked down, realizing her lack of fork. Her eyes cut to me.

With a smile, she shook her head. She grabbed my wrist before taking the fork from my fingers. “I swear sometimes you remind me of your father.” She turned back around and headed for the stove.

“It’s been a while since you’ve mentioned him,” I said.

My mom didn’t halt in her movements. “Well, the memories come and go.”

“I didn’t realize they were back…or if they ever left.”

My mom didn’t say anything as her focus went directly to the pan in front of her.

I paused. “How come you don’t tell me about him?”

Although her body was moving due to her stirring the meat in the pan, I could see her shoulders rising as if to protect her neck. Her movements were shifting from her fluid choreography to stiff muscles.

“There’s a lot of emotions that come up regarding him,” my mom said slowly.

“So you just avoid talking about them?” I asked.

“Careful, Rena,” my aunt said. “Everyone feels and processes their emotions in their own time. No matter how much I hate how much Rayray has kept things hidden from you about your father, she’s allowed to still have room to process it all.”

I nodded, looking off. “I got it, Ms. Psychologist.”

My aunt smirked at me.

“Can you prepare the offering, Therena?” my mom asked. Her back was still to me, as she spoke.

Knowing this was her way of redirection, I nodded. “Of course.”

On the bottom level cabinets above the sink rested our family’s ceremonial plates. Each one was different but had all been collected by my grandmother, my grandfather, my mom, and my aunt. Every family member had a different theme due to them having different passions. All of my grandmother’s plates reflected her time in child care. My grandfather’s plates were filled with travel symbolism and countries I never heard of before. Selene’s were strictly healing based. As a psychiatrist, they were also brain related. The most extensive collection out of the four of them was the one for my mom, which sat in a completely different cabinet in the dining room. Hers crossed over several different themes, but my favorite were the space ones, her cooking ones, and her nurturing ones.

I decided on a plate that had the image of my grandfather on the new land he found with his crew. My mom had the cooked stuffed eggplant halves sitting on a platter on the counter. I slid one on a plate before going to the shrine in the dining room. It was placed on top of a round glass table with a blanket overtop that highlighted all the places my grandfather discovered. It was covered in photos of my grandfather by himself and with the family. A pocket watch, a compass, and binoculars were arranged around the table, as well. When I was younger, I tossed model diorama planets along the altar due to believing that if my grandfather was actually a traveler like he said he was he would’ve explored space. A conversation with my mom helped me see the error in my ways, but it was the start of my love of space.

I placed the plate down in the middle of the altar. Bowing, I said, “May you continue to rest well.”

My grandmother and aunt bowed at the altar before sitting down at the dining room table. I walked around to the other side of the table, sitting across from my grandmother. My mom placed a platter filled with stuffed eggplants in the middle of the table before bowing in front of the altar. She took her seat beside me.

My grandmother cleared her throat before the four of us covered our hearts with our hands.

“By the hands that prepared this,” my grandmother said, “by the earth that grew this, by the sun that kissed this, and the waters that nourished this, we give thanks. May this meal strengthen our bodies, sharpen our minds, and align our spirits with the eternal flow. May no soul go hungry, and may the abundance of this table extend beyond these walls. We eat with gratitude, we live with purpose, we share love. Lumaya.”

“Lumaya,” the three of us repeated after her.

We all took a portion of the eggplant before eating.

“Mama,” I said, “If I take my hair out, could you braid it for me?”

Before my grandmother could say anything, my mom asked, “Why do you want braids?”

I glanced at her. “Is it a crime to change things?”

“It’s not, but it’s different from your usual.”

I looked back and forth around the room before focusing on my mom. “I feel like you’re making a big deal over braids.”

“I just want to make sure you realize your decision.” As my mom cut her eggplant in half, her knife scraped against her plate.

I squinted my eyes, as they cut to my aunt. She gave me a small shrug.

“About me wanting to change my hair?” I questioned. “I’ve had braids before.”

“I think it’s a transfer of energy that has your mom worried,” my grandmother said. The softness in her eyes made me realize that she didn’t want me to escalate more than I was, especially after earlier.

I sighed, looking away. “Like I’d ever get bad energy from Mama…” I scraped my fork against my plate, as I continued eating.

My aunt smirked at me.

“Braiding our hair in our culture is very intentional,” my mom said, “specifically when done by an Elder.” Her knife was scraping against the plate so bad she eventually gave up and just used her hands.

I sighed. “You always talk about this big great country we’re from, but you left, so is it really that great?”

My aunt’s eyes jumped up to mine. “Kiddo, I don’t think that is a fair comparison especially since you know what it’s like to be a Black woman in America.”

I frowned, as I twirled my fork through my fingers.

“I’ll wash your hair for you,” my grandmother said quickly, loosening the tension, “if you want me to.”

I hesitated before glancing up at her. “In the flower bath?”

My grandmother nodded. “If you would like.”

“Sold,” I said.

My grandmother chuckled, as she smiled at me.

“I’ll come back from Spring Break with the best hair,” I added with a smile.

“What are you doing during break?” my aunt asked.

“Sleep as much as I can, but if work had hours I was going to see if they could fit me in, since they always need the help.”

“A daycare never turns down extra help,” my grandmother said.

“I might have you come over to watch the animals,” my aunt said.

“You going somewhere?” I asked.

“Just a day trip, but I have to recheck my schedule.”

“Yeah, of course. Just let me know.”

My aunt smiled at me as she gave me a wink.

After dinner, my aunt and grandmother migrated to the living room. My mom was at the sink washing the dishes I placed beside her. As she cleaned, I put away the leftovers from dinner. After the dishes, my mom moved on to cleaning the sink, the kitchen counters, the stove, and the oven. I wiped down the kitchen table and pushed all the chairs back in.

My mother stood in the doorway of the kitchen and the dining room, as she admired her freshly cleaned kitchen. I stood beside her, prompting her to wrap an arm around my shoulders. She placed a kiss on the side of my head.

“Do you have homework to do?” my mom asked, as she rubbed my arm.

“Yeah,” I said. “I wanted to get a head start on work due after break.”

My mom gave my shoulder a squeeze before heading off to the living room. I followed behind her. My aunt was taking up one of the two tan couches by herself, while my grandmother was sitting up straight, but was still loose in her shoulders in one of the love seats directly in front of the television. My mother walked towards the couch across from the one my aunt was on. I stood behind the couch my aunt was on.

“I’m gonna say goodnight now,” I said, “since I have stuff to work on.”

My aunt lifted up her hand, as I gave her a high five.

I walked over to my grandmother and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Good night. Sleep well.”

“Good night,” my mom and grandmother said.

“See ya tomorrow,’ my aunt said, as I headed upstairs for the night.