AFK
Scottsdale, Arizona - July 2023 - 18:17
The unit was buzzing with the shift change energy early. I frantically charted my last I/Os on my two patients who I had finally managed to get settled after a long miserable shift of fighting with a new resident who didn’t seem to understand that the key to longevity for noobs is to listen to the RNs in the ICU until you actually knew your asshole from your elbow.
I’d been here long enough everything was feeling smooth, muscle memory guiding me through the end of my shift. The charting system here was slick, my favorite one. It was a big one, I had encountered it at countless hospitals, so whenever I got to use it, it was only a matter of learning whatever updates had happened since the last time or the quirks unique to the hospital I was in and how they charted things.
EPIC CHARTING SKILLS: Master
I had a few minutes before the nurse taking over for me would get here. I couldn’t believe my luck, I had managed to avoid Jared the entire shift. There were at least 4 RTs that would regularly come through the SICU and somehow he hadn’t been one. Maybe that wasn’t an accident. I tried to not think about it.
I opened my banking app on my phone, my pay would hit tomorrow. Until then I had $12.34 to my name.
FINANCIAL WIZARD: Novice
Ramen for dinner tonight. At least Mr. Miagi had enough fancy feast to last for a few weeks. I may be living off of top ramen and boiled eggs but that cat never missed a meal.
I looked up to see if the new crew had arrived but all I saw was Jared, he was watching me as he gowned up to go into a patient’s room. I smiled weakly and he glowered at me before disappearing into the room to make critical adjustments to a ventilator.
“What’s up, Stryker? I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”
“You trying to get rid of me?”
“Fuck you, I have been trying to convince you to stay and take a position since you got here.”
Jackie was wearing eggplant colored figs, the jogger kinds that only looked good on about 1.5% of all nurses, luckily she was one of them. She probably woke up early just to hit the gym before her night shift. She ran on coffee and charisma and was about a size 2. Pure dynamo and dirty jokes. I would miss her.
JACKIE M.
Age: 37 Race: Human (Spicy Latina) Class: ICU Veteran Type: Protective Mama Bear
Leadership: Legendary Crisis Management: Expert Bullshit Detection: Don’t even try it Patience with Doctors: Undetectable
Special Abilities: Can get a catheter on anyone - can make something out of nothing Alignment: Chaotic Good
I gave Jackie report on the patients, she was starting her three-day stint and didn’t know them at all, so she had a lot of questions. The first time I met her, I thought she was fucking with me, turns out, she just really cares. 12 years in the ICU and she still really cares about her patients.
“So you really don’t want to stay? You think you will ever swing back through?”
“Who knows? Maybe someday. I feel like I ought to be moseying on out of here.”
“Just a rambling man,” she giggled and gave me a big hug. I saw Jared leaving the patient room, and I wanted to get out of there before he could catch up with me.
“You have my number.”
“I do, I’ll text.”
Jackie made a face and I knew she knew I was lying but it was easier this way. Goodbyes were hard. Not harder than staying somewhere for too long, but they were still hard.
I grabbed my shit from the locker room and raced for the stairs, not chancing the elevators where Jared was bound to be loitering for me.
The stairs deposited me straight into the street in front of the ER. The hot air slammed into me, knocking me back. It was so fucking hot here. There was no way I could stay in Arizona, I hate the heat. The money was good but it didn’t even go that far. And how the fuck did people live in this heat? I ran to catch the shuttle, collapsing into a bench of my own thankful that it was almost as cool on the bus as it had been in the hospital.
---
In the apartment it was 67 degrees, which was unethical given how hot it was outside. I had read about how I was single-handedly destroying our planet by not just keeping the thermostat at 70. I could actually save tens of thousands of dying babies in developing countries if I was willing to keep it at 71. Unfortunately for the planet and dying babies, I was a piece of shit and the comfort of my roommate, Mr. Miagi was more important to me than all that.
Mr. Miagi was exactly where he was when I left him this morning. Had his food bowl not been licked completely clean, I would have been convinced he hadn’t moved for the entirety of my 13 hour shift.
He looked at me with his wise face, his tufted ears turned towards me like some ancient woodland cat god that would start talking at any minute and impart wisdom upon me. Funny thing though, Maine Coons just look smart, they are some of the dumbest cats you could ever hope to encounter. This was lucky for me and him since I worked at least three sometimes four 13 hour shifts per week, leaving him on his own for that time.
Cats are sleepy creatures but a smarter cat, say a Siamese, like we had when I was growing up, would have destroyed the apartment in a fit of boredom on day two. Not Miagi. He just found a sliver of sunlight and adjusted himself so that he could stay in it all day. He was happy to see me, I think, because when I was home, he would trade his sun spot for my lap or shoulder, which was not easy, he weighed 26 pounds.
MR. MIAGI
Age: 4 years (that’s 21 in cat years) Race: Cat (Maine Coon)
Special Abilities: Can remain completely still for hours at a time, tricking others into believing he is dead Alignment: He’s a cat! Probably Evil but he hasn’t ever bit anyone so who knows!
I gave him some tasty treats and made myself some ramen, I had some cheese left in the fridge so I put that on it. A real struggle meal.
I opened my laptop and checked my emails. I had one from Ace Travel RN. My agent, Melissa, had emailed me details of a job she had tried to convince me to take. Last week I was actually considering staying. Or was I? Maybe that is just something I was trying to make myself believe because the job she had offered seemed so bad. I had worked hard to pay off the last of my student debt but now I was so broke, I couldn’t really celebrate, nor could I afford to take a few weeks between assignments.
I kept hoping she would text me and say, “Guess what! We have a job in California, same rates as the good old days, pandemic pay!”
I felt like an asshole every time I longed for the pandemic but those had been good times. I once got paid $5,200 per week plus housing plus a $10,000 sign on bonus. I couldn’t leave the hotel they put us up in. I hadn’t come to possess Mr. Miagi at that time, or I don’t’ know what I would have done. We would go to a hospital in New Orleans and back on the bus to the hotel and back out the next morning. It was crazy and depressing. I saw more people die than I could even count.
But I bought myself a much needed new car.
I looked at the email.
Hey Ryan,
I’m still waiting to hear back from you about the job in North Dakota. I promise it isn’t as bad as you are imagining. I’ve had clients placed there before and they all found it charming. The pay is $2,100 per month but you get a stipend for housing of $2,000 per month (tax free) and a sign on bonus $2,500 after your first 8 weeks. It’s a 13 week job. Any overtime is paid as a bonus and tax free.
Lemme know!
Melissa
God damn. That was less than half what I was making a few years ago. The COVID money sure had dried up but I did check out apartments in the area, some Podunk called Prairie Grove and unless I wanted to rent the Mayor’s home, I would be taking at least $900 of that rental stipend home every month.
I pulled up the website of the hospital I had just finished my contract at. The ICU nurse position was still there. I pictured Jackie’s face if she saw me show up with a badge that said - RN, not just Travel.
I pulled out my phone and looked at it.
PING!
A text came through, startling me.
It was Jared. I sighed, sinking about 4 inches in my chair. I opened the text.
I saw you leave in a hurry... to avoid me. That’s really hurtful Stryker. I really like you. I don’t know why you are avoiding me. I felt like we connected. Actually connected. I’m not just hurt. It’s confusing. Stryker. I think I’m in love with you.
I stared at the text.
I typed into my phone.
Melissa, North Dakota... I’m in. When do I start?
She responded immediately.
GREAT! Pack your bags, kid! You start in 5 days, so you have a drive. I have the perfect apartment lined up for you too. I will get my agent to reserve it for you!
I did the thumbs up emoji on her text and went back to Jared’s, rereading it. It made my stomach ball up. I couldn’t finish my ramen although that could be because it was objectively disgusting.
I clicked at the top of the text - Block Sender.
I opened maps and typed in Prairie Grove -- directions.
23 h 21 m.
“Well, Mr. Miagi, better get some rest, we have quite the drive ahead of us tomorrow.”
