Chapter 1 Broken Thread
I had always been rather studious, my grades reflected such. Taking AP classes didn't seem to difficult at first but I could definitely say there was for sure a learning curve. Went from taking a test maybe once a month to almost every week. It paid off in the end however. Most of my classes during my final semester were only 0.5 credits. Even if I skipped 5 classes, I would still graduate.
The day of graduation came and went. I managed to graduate with 4 honors. My girlfriend and I celebrated the best way we knew how. Which, of course, ended with her arm draped over my bare chest.
“You know I could live like this.” Kate suddenly said, moving her index finger in small circle motions on my chest.
I sat there not saying anything, just looking around at the fact that we were in an abandoned warehouse
“Really? I can't say I enjoy fucking on towels in an abandoned warehouse… but to each thier own I guess.”
Kate gave me a kind but hard slap on my chest where she was just drawing circles and giggled
“Not this idiot. I mean you and me, not this place. You know if my dad didn't hate you, we'd be in my bed right now… God only knows why we don't go to your parents' house.” Kate said, maneuvering to lie on her back.
“Like I've told you before, my mom hates you just as much as your dad hates me,” I said, sighing.
We lay there for a while, nothing being said, just a gentle quiet, for her it must've felt peaceful. However, for me ,it was suffocating. I had to say it, get it off my chest.
“Kate,” I said finally, now too late to stop.
“There's something else…” the words seemed to get stuck in my throat and not want to leave.
“What is it babe? You know you can trust me right?” Kate said. Her kindness a loving gentle gesture, but felt like a knife plunging into my skin.
“When you look into the future, what do you see?” I asked, slightly to change the subject a little bit.
The sun had started to set so we turned on the fairy lights we had thrown around haphazardly, they used a USB to power them so a simple battery pack and we had light. The light casted a soft golden glow on every surface it touched Kate looked haloed by the light as if her body soaked it in and turned it into a golden aura.
She slowly sat up and looked at me, her eyes catching the light and reflecting it so perfectly it should be illegal.
“I mean I've never really given it any thought to be honest. A few years from now maybe I will have a better job and our own place.”
She stopped speaking and tilted her head slightly whilst looking at me.
“Why do you ask, babe?” she finally said.
I grabbed my shirt, pulled it on and stood up.
“Well because when I look into the future I see… something else.” I managed to slowly choke out.
“Well of course you do, we're different people.” She said standing up with me.
I walked over to a graffiti covered half wall and climbed up and sat down. Kate walked up to me and placed her hands on my knees.
“I can look right through you, there's something else that you want to say.” She said looking into my eyes.
I couldn't look into those eyes of hers, currently filled with lov,e I knew would be full of hate, or at least see me extremely different. I knew it would happen. Why couldn't I just say it and get it over with? Was it fear of hurting her, or us? Would she even be hurt? Maybe I couldn't bear the fact that being true would be damaging. I had to do it now, though, now or never. I came this far, just one last sentence.
My eyes started to fill with tears though none fell. My lip beginning to quiver. I looked away from her to hide my cracking facade.
“I don't see myself… like… this I mean. Like there's this girl that I've always been but never allowed to bloom.” A tear fell down my cheek finally.
“I… think I need time to find her and experiment to find myself…” My throat closed on the last word like my body itself didn't want it to come out.
“... alone.” I finished.
I gathered my courage to look at Kate finally.
She was looking down, her eyes not meeting mine. I heard her signature sniffle which after years of dating through high school I had learned was her crying. I braced myself for the inevitable pain that would pierce straight through my heart.
Finally she looked up at me. Her eyes were streaming tears.
She gave a slight smile, though broken slightly trembling. She eventually spoke
“Remember that Sophomore year? Before the Halloween party? You lost a bet with me and I convinced you to wear a princess costume. After we got you dressed up and I did you make up to look just like Elsa.” Her smile seemed to stop trembling.
I looked at her silently and recalled that Halloween party and how I couldn't help but stare at the girl looking back at me in the mirror, the girl that I was piloting simply a costume I ached for it to be who I actually was back then remembering that now brought back those feelings.
“I watched you look into the mirror and I saw you just freeze in place.” She said climbing up on the ledge next to me.
She sniffled again and brushed her checks with the sleeve of her long sleeve shirt.
“Now though I understand it, I believe I understood it back then as well just didn't know how to word it to you.” Kate said, taking my hands in hers, curling her fingers in mine tentatively but steadily.
“I'm not mad, not really… just sad that this is what it took for…” She started to tear up again and choked on her words.
Tears streaming fast down her cheeks she finishes “For us to end.”
She removed her hand from mine and placed them on her knees, I watched as tears splattered on her hands.
I breathed finally as it felt like I had been holding my breath for ages.
“Have you got a name chosen?” Kate finally asked.
I was caught off guard by her question, shouldn't she be crying,, slapping me, and calling me selfish? Though she said she wasn't mad just sad… yet she still decided to care to ask about my preferred name.
“My name is Calypso.” I said simply
“You're gonna be beautiful Calypso, I mean you already are.” She said, crying and laying her head against my shoulder.
“I'll still be here okay. Just not in the way we used to be.” She grabbed my head and pulled me to face her. “I'm not walking away though okIlI don't care how much it'll hurt to see you happy with someone else I want to support you ok.” She said determined.
She certainly sounded determined from the years with her. I learned that there was no changing her mind once she used that tone.
We took each other's hands and stood up off the graffiti-covered half wall.
“Thank you Kate for being so understanding.” I said.
She looked down for a moment, then looked back up at me.
“May we say it one last time?” She asked small and innocently.
“Of course, Kate.” I said
“I love you,” she said.
I kissed her forehead “I love you too Kate.”
We started to go our separate ways as our fingers slipped apart. It felt like a part of me was being torn and though done by me it didn't change how much it hurt. Eventually the thread between us broke.
Outside of the warehouse crickets chirped I stole a final look at the warehouse. Our favorite place, our slice of heaven. Now there would be no reason to ever revisit. I turned away.
In that warehouse was Connor… time to be Calypso… whatever the hell that meant.
