The Meth Addled Cosmo-Demise Part Two

Content Warning: Graphic sexuality and drug use

(11) The Meth Addled Cosmo-Demise Part 2

2. Her Visit

It came as a complete surprise when I saw her suddenly walk in from the door with much determination and fast paced, followed by two of the boys.

She was having problems at home and needed a few nights to lie low . She had little, but a bag, a pillow and herself, wearing rubber boots.

She sat down quickly on the lounge. I decided to simply introduce myself right away. She seemed to find the convention slightly annoying but partook anyway.

-”What is your name?”

-”I am miaow miaow “, she said in a proud matter of fact way.

She was as pretty as she was petite. knowing this, she admitted she was agile and would have been good at gymnastics if she had received training.

Her hair was a long dark wavy brown below shoulder length. I had trouble being sure if her eyes were blue or light green.

She had tattoos also. All while looking at her when she spoke , my eyes would quickly dart to a detail and back, promising myself when I had the chance to ask her about these things.

She gesticulated much when she spoke, even while lying down on her back. She would sway her arms or suddenly kick up her legs or a foot.

She was facing me, slightly to my left from where I sat on the chair at the small table I used as desk.I was in the corner near the lamp and patio door. The curtain was pulled and held back by my chair.

Sometimes at crucial moments when she spoke, she would parade back and forth to me and back down again.

In other moments, she suddenly fought back and held down an intense vertigo of tears. Her chocked up voice had the fear and panic of a mother ripped of her children. Welcome to no man’s land.

I don't remember when, probably the next day, she put on a song she wanted me to hear with her. A song she said brought her comfort. I was sure to tell how much I appreciated what she shared with me.

She walked back and forth in joy and suddenly came to me directly bent down and gave me a long intense hug. I held her as tightly as I could. I felt all her happiness . I could smell her hair. This was affection, love and comfort in a trustworthy bond.

It felt intensely good in my soul and my heart to receive such an honest sign of value and interest. It was the most beautiful moment in my life since I can't remember when. It is maybe the best moment of my life.

She told me she would never forget me I can remember her telling me

-”I love you…”

On two occasions, while she positively glowed in soft waves. All this brought me much unexpected joy in an otherwise bleak and alienating landscape.

Her poison was crack cocaine, mine was crystal meth. During the evening, or night rather, I gave her all the pieces of crack that came my way, preferring not to affect unnecessarily my beautiful meth high.

I gave her all of them, except the last one, which was a nice big square chunk. I couldn't give it to her, it was at the end of a tube, offered to me in thanks for the delivery. As I declined, it got smoked without a blink. You should have seen her face as I told her, it was a hilarious mix of incredulous disbelief.

I don't remember if I asked her already, so I presented her with the proposal to smoke up crystal meth with me. She wasn't sure with an expression that had all the hallmarks of inconclusive previous attempts .

She wondered if it could get her addicted. I told her it's always a double edged blade. She accepted the offer, although not in the immediate, she had to let a puff of crack she took a few minutes ago die down before she try. I suggested she just let me know when she is ready.

I offered her to prepare the empty locker I was using as room of sorts for her use if she wanted more privacy. I was usually occupied the livingroom at night.

When she was ready, she asked if I would come and si on her lounge with her. I placed the meth.packet and the pipe on the little square table. A little over 4g of big crystal chunks. I filled the pipe really well. I wanted her to get huge clouds from the yellowish bubbling puddle at the bottom of the bulb.

I'd say three big puffs is a minimum. Six big ones is hours of being blasted on its way. Taking many more puffs within an hour, as is usually the habit, is very good That's tripping at it's finest. Smoke strong pot with that . To reach the saturation point, that's the best.

I showed her how I heated he bottom of the bulb until rich smoke begins to billow, completely cloud in the interior and fume out through the small hole on top. I start to puff inhaling deeply, keeping the flame to the bulb, until my lungs are completely filled to capacity. I keep it in only 3 seconds, and blow out the huge cloud.

She took two good ones and decided to stay on crack. , I left my pipe available to her in case she should feel like trying again.

It was during the night. She was presumably aroused. She laid down on her lounge wearing flimsy boxer shorts that were part of her pyjama attire. She would slowly spread her legs open at times while she spoke. As I quickly looked in awe, I caught glimpses of the soft skin around her genetalia.

At one point, I even saw a small portion of her pussy. By then, as you can well understand, I was passed being aroused, I was seriously and totally responding with every carnal molecule in my body. IHeaven doesn't get better than this.

I sat swooning in pulsing circles of visceral desire , in a slow to and fro movement on the chair. I must have yielded somehow, I was now lost in the act of gently feeling and rubbing her cute and small pussy on top of her loose boxer shorts.

That couldn't be a nicer way to start, I am so turned on when I see sticky wet smears in a woman's panties. Just gently kissing and smelling that is one of the best things in life for sure.

I dare any man worthy of that name to come forward with disdain and say it is perverted. There is no man who wouldn't.

I was brimming with an intense an accurate sensation of what I would feel at each thing I do. I was tripping out of my mind and body.

I was seeing more parts exposed, I saw one of her small titties peak out, erect and ready to get fondled. At one moment I saw her complete pussy exposed, her lips slightly parted, her slippery wet juice made little shiny reflections .

I knew if I started kissing her there and brushing my lips against, it would smell so good. I lusted to lick her with my tongue wet with saliva slowly and hungry, up and down her crack.

Sometimes I would flicker fast, to stop and gently suckle her in my mouth. It was strange to be communicating this to each other in body movements. The people walking by to the kitchen must have wondered “What the hell…?” But no one said anything.

She was on her back on the lounge, one leg lifted on the back rest, twirling ever so nicely. I was leaning back and forth, frothing from the mouth, passing my hands gently all over my body.

There was only one thing left to do. I had to mount her good and proper, but first she needed to satisfy her mouth and hand as she pleased with this treasure of a hard ,straighth and handsome cock., balls and all sticking out of my unzipped jeans.

When she was ready, she laid down on her back with her legs a little parted. I moved over on top of her and let myself slide into her, moving ever so slowly, to allow my hardest and excited cock get gradually slick and painted with her juice and our saliva, encouraging harder and deeper thrusts, using my hips to accentuate that lustful passion of penetration.

I wanted more than anything in the world to go in her as deep and as fast as I could until I explode in a fantastic rain of droplets and shots of sperms everywhere inside her.

I remembered to fondle and kiss her tits while I was at it. I needed to put my mouth on hers. I needed to see myself pull out slowly and see a big trickle of sperm leak out.

If I may compare circumstances to wheels in a cog, sometimes the mechanisms interlocking in motion have other plans in allowing certain desires get fulfilled in physical reality but cannot prevent us from acting out on another plane of reality.

The next day, early in the afternoon, she expressed the need to go outside. I told her of the woods two minutes away. She agreed eagerly and got ready. Since the moment she told me she was aware of what goes on in a man's head when they have lust for her.

I was careful not to extrapolate on my desires toward her. As we were leaving,I had a huge erection which I think she felt. She responded with a happy anticipative gait. There was a particular energy between us. It was nice to know we both felt the same things.

As advertised, the bridge was immediately in sight. We stepped over the barrier and went through the tall welcome bush. She was delighted to see the grassy slope and the woods behind it.

I lead her down the low path folling the river. The places deemed worthy of being stopped at for the sheer beauty and resting opportunities are called “stations”.

The first ones were crowded and inconvenient. As we continued, the water seemed to have gotten livelier with the sound of flowing waves.

The third station marks the spot of convergence. Another little river flows from the north into this one, flowing eastward.

We stood near the big tree, opening the way to a magnificent miniature rocky beach. She was taken in by the rustic scene.

Right on the other side of the river, facing us, was the convergence, with a big felled tree acting as bridge to cross

At any point along the river, to get to it, there is a three foot drop, which is a rocky cliff, filled with burrows, rocks, roots and vegetation. The river isn't deep, many rocks protrude from the surface.

On our side however, the first half is deeper and no rocks to step on. The flowing current was stronger also. She asked if I would mind getting my feet wet.

Not at all. I was willing to cross wherever with my boots on. She had rubber boots and the water was deep enough to fill them. She decided to take her boots off and cross barefoot.

I offered her my arm as she carefully put her weight on the slippery rocks. Once across, we were happy to put our coats and bags on the felled tree.

We had to prepare our pipes. Now was the time to ritualize our bond with ourselves and nature by taking hits and getting really high.

As we were both absorbed in our minds, I went behind the felled tree to inspect the rocks and stones laying around. It is highly probable on these primordial grounds to find indigenous artifacts, fossils and bones.

Many stones were archaic in nature, speaking for their great age. What caught my attention most were the many flat stones that seemed to bare ancient cuneiform like script and many petroglyphs.

I was so astounded. It felt like a crime to leave them there, but I wasn't on such an expedition today. I wondered though how come they haven't been noticed before.

It was difficult taking a substantial hit. We had to take many small ones. The afternoon was too windy for a normal lighter. We would have needed a torch.

I didn't realize that during the process of taking puffs, I walked around rolling the pipe between my fingers. All the nice crystals kept falling out without my noticing. The pieces quickly dissolved in the mud and wet sands.

The cliff like elevation beside us was a complexe system of roots, rocks, patches of shed snake skin, patches and strands of vegetation covered with spiderwebs. Many holes popped out from the rocky side.

Somehow, I saw big pieces of crystal meth that had fallen deep in the system. Without remembering why, I could not retrieve them. I wasn't able to reach them . I also feared I would ruin them with my wet fingers, though my hands were mostly dry.

I noticed she wasn't smoking much. It didn't seem to be all on account of the wind. Feeling concerned, I asked her, honestly, if she still had anything to smoke.

I could tell right away by her frozen features and stoney look that I hit home. Although she said nothing of it, she was holding back tears.

I felt sad that she was silently and with such dignity keeping this weight to herself, not even mentioning it. I felt especially sad at the bewilderment that emanated from her being. Something along the lines of having no one to be concerned about her needs anymore.

I told her since today is a special day, I would gladly split into two equal parts of what was left of my meth, a little more than one gram each, and smoke it all with no restraint, getting totally high.

She very much appreciated the offer, but would prefer get more crack. She would love me to carry her boots and coat as we crossed the river again. Her feet were getting cold. We had no idea how much time had gone by, how much time we spent there.

Walking the path, she was excited about my projects and wanted to work on my book with me. Even more so that we both spoke English as mother tongue and had been to English school. In our everyday life, French is the official language of usage, English is the language spoken at home and chosen for everything else.

It made our collaboration even more precious. She was also very enthusiastic about my huge tarot deckon how all I had left to do was place two red symbols per card, two thousand cards in all, categories, new insight possibilities and usage as psychological testing such as ink blot or other projective methods.

The tarot deck is intended to be available online and also as real physical deck of cards sold in packs including the necessary mix to be workable. Packs can be purchased by category and the entire set as well.

I told her I was in the final stages of setting myself up to sell albums of my music. My last remaing works, one hundred and seven pieces of experimental contemporary electroacoustic classical and electronic music.

She wanted us to create a joint project based on the broadcasting of creativity, including visual perceptions. She was definitely spirited, optimistic and outspoken.

I told her I liked her spirit and that she's good company. She smiled happily.

To seal the cosmos dawning upon us, before leaving entirely, once we reached the grassy slope, she asked that we sit directly on the ground and feel the energy. We sat down and I thanked life in my heart for the wonderful time I had spent with her.

I initiated no attempt at starting something sexual. I would have responded to an advance or an obvious hint, but outside of that, I felt like I would have taken advantage to quell urges. I was not disappointed. It felt like we were gathering trust and building closeness.

Back at the flat, she rested on her back and I sat on my chair, near the guitars. I don't remember how we got on the subject, but we were in admissions of sorts.

She remarked on how much control I have ,

-"but I could have done more"

She said, nodding in a very encouraging and decisive way.

I understood I could have gotten close to her and hold her affectionately.

-"I sure hope I'm not making you feel unwanted "

She said in earnest. Something in the utter sincerity of her tone and manner was moving.

Well, I had an admission to make also. She listened all intent.

-"At first, I had the intention of trading all the pieces of crack I wasn't taking in exchange for her little panties.

She was all surprised and happy. She thanked me for my honesty, and peeking quickly in her pants, she said she's still wearing the same ones.

-"No...they aren't clean enough"

That would have been fine for me, but she was shy, it was cute.

There was momentum building. Something extraordinary was just around the corner, something life changing. Intact, there was two.

The first unfortunately is negative. Due to the circumstances of her Visit, some kind of conflict in her couple, there was a force at work between the boss and her boyfriend to impose a truce in which she had to depart in the immediate.

She was summoned to the boss and had some kind of run in, for which she was unapologetic.

She suddenly hurried down the hall, and barely slowing down, she called out to me:

-"Bye! Godd luck! I will be back later or tomorrow for my things ."

I thanked her and wished her the best. But something was wrong. She looked afraid.

Jealousy and threats made her flee. She was bearing the brunt. Another deep regret was not getting to part with a hug. Her quick words offered nothing in that sense, but said everything about terror.

Her sudden departure in these circumstances with the fall out it caused was unexpected and stinging. As dreadful as it felt, only tomorrow could tell.

During that night, at 2:00 AM, I suddenly notice something. She has left her pair of light black jeans turned inside out, well placed to be seen on the washing machine. I thought they had been washed and forgotten in her haste.

I picked them up and gently put my nose and mouth to where her pussy rubs all day and there it was, enlivening my body like millions of molecules, her scent, sweet and unmistakable.

As I started to kiss it all over, my lips were met with a sticky tinge. I realized she had done what she could to accommodate my panties request.

That was a discovery, that held more significance and value for me.

Of her belongings she left was her big fluffy white pillow from the hotel, her hooded sweater and her pants.

I see now in retrospect a link these objects shared was how much odor each one carried. Her pillow smelled so awesomely intimate and revealed such sensual and undressed erotism. It was also her hair, her mouth. I would breath in as I rubbed my face in it.

Her hooded sweater offered more bodily odor and perfume. The pants were the crowning.

All three together got me a strong bond in her presence. I am still impressed today that part of the experiencing the subtleties through our senses is the work of sensory transduction.

What an ingenious way not to forget.

I will never forget you baby.

I took these and brought them to my locker room. I was preparing the perfect surprise before her arrival.

As I kissed her pillow and pants, I slowly aroused myself to a major erection. I had myself ejaculate everywhere her pussy scent was. I put the items together neatly and wrote her a nice word.

That's when the second most extraordinary thing happened.

I loved her.

I felt something change inside me. I knew I liked her so much already, but now , only one thing mattered , it was to say, to tell her what I had not. We were talking about so many things anyway.

This was meaningful enough to deliver at all costs, these simple words,

-"I love you, baby..."

That, in relation to all the rest unlocked the shackles keeping me chained in the "oubliettes". This was the liberating configuration. Home is where you are wanted. That's the particularly touching nerve in this admission. The most powerful and precious love is not the lust nor the flesh, but being wanted, for what you are, for who you are.

I had long felt at my desk, ready for euthanasia on account of an alienating contact and isolation with anyone in my previous life.

The urge of my soul was to tell her , as soon as possible:

-"I love you baby...I will never forget you"

She never came back.