Chapter 1: Posie
Silence. That’s all I can give. I don’t mean to do it, to go quiet. The words just stop. As if someone…,
shut
them
off.
I wonder sometimes if i’m a machine that society lost the manual for. Broken junk that once was supposed to do something. I used to do things… for him. Those things im not supposed to to do those things that me broken.
I had tried not to do them i’d resisted and it only planded me here. In Juvie, somehow with my charges dropped but before that baffling miracle I was going away a long time. I fidget with my plastic bag of things. Ancient pink flip phone, ten dollars, chapstick, and an extra thick hair tie. I’m in a random hoodie and sweats necause my clothes were bloody and evidence.
I hear voices outside in the hall. I’ve been sitting in the outtake area for ages. I’m 17 so they can’t just let me loose on the street. I guess the warden is yelling child and family services over the phone trying to wash his hands of me as fast as possible. Whatever it was must’ve worked because within ten minutes an officer is entering the room with me.
He stares at me for a moment his expression blank. I could be hallucinating but I think maybe his eyes soften at the edges. “Hey sweetheart, you’re riding with me to your next home. You good to go?” His voice is kind of gruff but I can tell he’s trying to be less intimidating. My first instinct is to like him. That never happens. I can never trust them. So I just nod and stand up.
His hand goes behind my back and I tense my entire nervous system blaring internal sirens. The danger doesn’t come his hand just hovers a comfortable inch or so from me gently guiding me out into the sun. Stepping outside feels like hitting a wall of heat. I guess I look overwhelmed because he mutters softly “Car is close, I’ll get you some AC can’t have you overheating in that getup.” He scrutinizes my way too warm sweatshirt and pants with disapproval. The expression makes the tan skin arround his blue-green eyes wrinkle.
Eventually his eyes go back to looking straight ahead but also around. On alert looking for danger. I could relate. He opens the passenger before turning to look at me sternly. “Don’t touch anything” I nod rapidly feeling a little fear for the first time. He raises an eyebrow at my perhaps overdramatic response. “Breathe sweetheart I’m not gonna shoot you, hop in.”
I climb in the car and buckle up making myself look as small as possible. It’s sweet relief when the AC comes on. I even roll up my sleeves yo feel it better. He watches md silently. I don’t know how to feel about that. He’s not predatory and he’s not disgusted either. “Waverly, I’m detective Ken Waverly.” The introduction feels awkward added on too late to fill the awkward silence.
He grabs a toothpick from his cupholder sticking it between his teeth before pulling it out again holding it between his fingers like a cigarette. “They weren’t kidding about the mute thing huh? Going nonverbal after all that… I can only imagine what happened to do it. File doesn’t say much… people are gonna fill in the blanks without you” He speaks gently looking genuinely concerned or very good at faking it. “You tore his throat out huh? With your teeth?”
I bristle at the question but at least he’s asking everyone has been telling me I did it. My lips part:
“He deserved it.”
Only silence follows
