Bruk Out

2012.

I can remember that year like it was yesterday. And no, not only because of that movie that implied that the Earth would have ended.

2012 was the year mi do Grade Four Literacy, Numeracy Test. Me can still remember the anxiety weh follow the next two years of mi life. . . which high school would I go to?

Lawd Jesus. . . The faithful day in 2014 finally came.

Mi can still remember how Mommy hug me up before me leave the house. Lady squeeze mi tight so till the likkle fat mi have pon mi bones nearly slide right off.

“Deevn hear results yet and mi know seh yu kill dat and bury it,” she did seh.

Jah Jah, mi hope a did true. Cause mi agree seh mi have mi smarts, but e did still possible fi mi flunk. All right yanow mi hand dem did a sweat dung the place. . . mi neva yet so nervous a day a mi life! The principal need fi hurry up and fawud back wid e result dem ino, cause me waa know waa keep she deh a Ministry fi so long. A from before school start she go fi dem, and a twelve o’clock now.

Worse like how the sun hot nuh ratid today! Thankfully, a bush me school deh so me and my best friend easily find waa likkle shade siddung ina while wi wait pon Princi fi come.

“Which school yu think yu pass fa?” Kristelle ask mi.

“Bwoy,” mi sigh. “Mi cya ansa dat ino.”

“Nuh know why yaa move like seh yu foola than anybody else,” she seh and mi kiss mi teeth. “A e likkle anixety a talk right yanow. Yaa bright spark, Best.”

“Hope so ino. Cya let down mi parents, Jah know.”

“Same ino.” Then she get up offa e grass, and grab up ar navy blue pleated skirt and brush off e dry leaf and piece a grass weh did stuck pon e. Then she smile offa me, a show off ar thirty-two dem — especially dem two big rabbit front teeth deh. “Come mek wi go weh everybody deh.”

Mi tek ar hand ina fimi and wi start walk.

Tha girl ya? Straight up mi friend fi life. Since the first day mi start tha pop down primary school ya, she and me a roll. And like how graduation just deh round the corner. . . dat mek six years of e strongest friendship weh mi have. People nuh seh friend ova five years a friend fi life? Well look — mi find mine.

While we walk to wi other classmates, mek mi describe mi likkle school to yu. . .

In St. Ann, there’s a primary school ina the hills weh have red dirt weh get mucky yu fret when rain fall too heavy. The school also have two big almond trees weh eva a drop leaf. And yes — even the cutest set a boy and stoshest (is that even a word?) set a girl afi pick up the leaf dem and throw ina the garbage before school call at eight a.m..

The school deevn have flush toilet yet. Well, mek mi stop lie. The teacher dem have flush toilet but we as likkle gyal pickney have a toilet seat over a pit.

The male students on the other hand did have this. . . square structure. Mi know seh none a dem likkle boy deh neva drink water frequently ino, because up till this day me cya understand why fi dem ‘bathroom’ did afi renker than goat piss so.

When a lunchtime, we never have the fortunes of going out to buy food. (A like me seh, we school ina the middle a some deep bush!) We did afi bring we own food, go to this nearby house pon the school compound weh only sell cup soup and dry hotdog, or eat the canteen food. Me always go with the latter. The only downside a seh if yaa eat a the canteen, yafi mek sure yu bring yu own fork from yu yaad. Whenever me did leff me fork, there was always the option of borrowing from mi older family members and washing it off. The pipe water did come directly from a concrete tank weh eva full up a mosquito larvae.

Although e school kinda ina waa bad condition. . . wi learn and know fi bill a vibez, but dat a probably cause everybody know everybody and e most pickney deh a school ina one day a 200 and odd.

Mi just glad seh mi soon leff deh ya. Cause if me did afi spend one more year ina dis ya school ya after six aready? Especially when me neva waa come a dis ya primary school ina the first place? Mi wuda probably get madder than how me mad already.

All dat aside, wi get a good education. But mi naa go use that fi disregard the fact seh mi very anxious bout where mi pass fa.

Mi feel say mi nuh really have nun fi stress bout ino, cause mi study wul heap and put forth mi all ina tha exam room deh. Mi muss mek mi first choice, or at least mi second. Mi nuh really waa go mi next three choices — York Castle, St. Hilda’s and Ferncourt — cause mi only choose dem cause mi did have to. Mi really hope mi pass fi St. Andrew’s High, if not, then mi second choice Westwood can gwan. But mi deevn waa go deso neither — young gyal lakka me nufi a wear straw hat like me’s a farmer.

“Fi tell yu the truth ino, all waa gwan mi feel like mi get mi first choice. Think mi do good pon it, plus e neva really dat hard. . . except the Maths cause yu know how my brain set up wid numbers already—”

Krissy laugh. “Fool like.”

Mi laugh too. “Gweh nuh! How yu feel?”

Ar face tek a serious expression. “Mi feel like if a my first, second or third choice mi get then me good! Cause Mommy tell mi nun less than dat pon GSAT and she gaa bruk mi neck.”

Mi laugh. “Girl, yu know yu madda naa go do dat.”

“So you feel.”

Mi gi ar a playful smile and wi continue walk.

When e two a wi reach under one a e almond tree dem ina the school yard, wi cuda finally see wi classmate dem of year 2014 gather all bout pon e green grass. A waa nice likkle blue frock and khaki bundle.

“How the two a unu gon manage if unu nuh pass fi e same school?” smaddy seh when me and Kristelle plop dung pon e grass.

Wi did already know seh dat did gon happen. . . bench and batty afi separate at some point. Fi ar choices dem a did Mount Alvernia, Ardenne, Marymount, Ochi High and Bishop Gibson.

Mi miss ar already ino; mi just hope wi link still stay strong and wi still par afta wi graduate.

“Yow, you nuh worry your likkle head. A fret you fi a fret, wid yu eedyat self,” mi tease.

Tayvoughn skin up him face offa mi. “A shut you fi shut your mouth, Jaesia.”

“Mek mi shut mi mouth then nuh,” mi gi him piece a mi dutty attitude. Mi kinda have waa likkle crush pon tha bwoy ya ino, but mi neh too sure if him like mi back so mi deevn did seh nun. E gon soon iron out either way.

“Unu bill,” dis girl weh name Sandreen seh. “A me alone a fret?”

Everybody start fly off dem mouth, mi cuda barely hear wa some people a seh.

“Unu shut up nuh! Baxide man!” dat a Trina, wi headgirl. (Oh, me tell unu seh me a the deputy headgirl, right?) “Waa did yu choices, Tayvoughn?”

“Calabar, YC, St. Jago, Munroe and Ferncourt.”

“Well a Steer Town Academy yaa go,” mi trouble him.

Dis time him laugh. A so me and him stay man, always a trouble one aneda.

Waa while later e principal car pull up and most people rush dung pon e car like leggo beast, like seh dem ano big grade six pickney weh soon start high school.

“Jae?”

Mi look up pon Kristelle and give ar mi hand mek shi help pull mi up. “Mi hand a sweat, Krissy.”

“Nuh worry man, yaa bright spark,” shi gi mi waa encouraging pat pon mi shoulder.

We walk down and watch as e principal tek a stand behind waa podium. The pickney dem pack up like sardine, and e teacher dem a maintain order. Mi nuh think mi heart eva beat so fast before!

Princi start call out the results. Me just try keep my likkle self easy. Wid a surname weh practically deh a the end of the alphabet, mi learn the virtue of patience.

“Kristelle Hudge. . .” she tek a pause, just fi add suspense and mi squeeze Kristelle hand. “Marymount High.”

Everybody erupt ina cheer and mi swear, if mi did big and strong enough, mi lift up ar and run! Mi feel proud like seh a me!

E few time dem sum official from Ministry of Education come a wi school, dem seh wi have a bright class. And based pon e results weh call out so far — Calabar, Holmwood, Brown’s Town High, York Castle, Ochi High, St. Hilda’s, Ferncourt — mi believe dem fi real. Dem good results ya lift up my spirit, and e likkle bit a anxiety tek e time and seep weh.

Mrs. Wilcot reach ina the ‘S’ surnames by now. And before me tell unu which school me wuda go fi spend the next years. . . mek mi tell unu how mi heart did a race faster than Shelly-Ann wig-eva-laid Fraser-Pryce ina mi likkle mawga body!

Aye. When mi tell unu seh me did a squeeze mi bangaz Blu phone ina mi sweaty hand dem to the point the back cuda come off and the battery wuda fly out, mi naa exaggerate one bit. Mi thankful fi the likkle phone doh. Cause if a did mi Sidekick — weh literally drop ina water and fry out like three weeks before results day — the screen wuda fly gone a East and the keyboard gone a West, to how tight mi grip did be.

“Jaesia Spencer,” Mrs. Wilcot seh, and shi stop talk fi look pon mi, ar likkle eye dem did a peep ova ar thick lense glasses. “Westwood High.”

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