The Celebration

My curls catch in the wind and my stomach flips around. I clutch Nessie, my stuffed unicorn, tight as our bodies smack hard against the ocean waves. We get swallowed up. I try to fight against the waves, but my body starts to tire. Nessie floats further and further away from me. Just when I can’t fight anymore, my small body sinks deeper, and the world starts to go black.

Just as my body begins to sleep, I feel a hand grab my arm and pull me out of the water. My body wrecks in a fit of coughs and my eyes are shut tight. Once settled, I relax and look around on the small boat. There’s a young girl around my age. She looks almost like someone I’ve seen before. Her dark brown hair is in four neat braids decorated with bows. Her skin is a lighter complexion then mine and she wears a poofy white dress. I lower my gaze and see her matching frilly socks and black dress shoes. The same outfit my mother makes me wear in church every Easter.

“We’re gonna be late” she states with a slight squint in her dark brown eyes.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Rosalind Marie, but people call me Ro.”

“Nice to meet you! my name’s—”

“I already know” She interrupts as she hands me a completely soaked Nessie.“Here, you’ll both be dry by the time we get to land. I already picked out your outfits too.”

My eyebrows knit together and I can’t help but ask “what party? Is the ship throwing a party? They usually only have them for the adults”

As if thinking of the right words to say, she bites her bottom lip ” This is a different party that’s on an Island. Anyone can join and there will be a lot of food, dancing and games!” Her smile is so bright it almost rivals the sun. I can’t help but smile with her. Looking around, I notice the waves are calmer this time. I close my eyes and feel the soft breeze kiss my cheeks.

“You know, if my mama was to see you, she’d tell you to do something with that head.”

I whip my head around fast enough to almost disturb our smooth sailing and grimace. “My hair just got wet” I spit out through grit teeth, “Maybe my mother will fix it when we reach the island.”

Ro shifts in her seat, “Yeah…. maybe" she lets out in a weak tone. She turns away from me and leans on the boat with a hand resting on her cheek. The mention of my mother soured her mood. Not wanting to say anything else, I lay back down and close my eyes cradling Nessie. The waves soothe me to sleep.

After what feels like hours, I’m awaken from my sleep by a shrill scream.

"I SEE LAND!”

The boat rocks side to side and I grip the edges as if to prevent seasickness. Ro is a terrible sailor. Instead of the boat’s gentle caress of the edges of land, we slam into it. Nessie flies through the air and bangs against a palm tree, and I flip out of the boat. Ro laughs a hearty laugh and jumps out as if this is something she’s grown used to. She grabs Nessie, walks over and gives me a hand up.

Where does her strength come from?

Before I can bring my thoughts to life, she pulls me, and we head deeper into the island. We make it towards the bottom of a waterfall. It’s illuminated by the never ending sunlight and rocks of various sizes decorate the edges of pool. I look to my left and notice a white dress with a floral lace trims at the ends of the sleeves, neckline and bottom of the dress. Nessie’s dress is similar.

Ro shakes her head at our dresses and states “I don’t see the appeal, but I guess this is what everyone wears now”. She walks away to give us privacy. When we’re done, she comes back with white lacy sandals that almost look like my favorite pair that I brought on the cruise. When I’m done lacing the straps she helps me put on Nessie’s shoes. We sat for a moment. The loud rushing water behind us fills the air and we’re hit with light mists of water.

"The walk is a little far” Ro yells, “But I promise the Journey’ll be worth the wait.” She pulls me up again and guides me onto the trees again. This time the grass on the path looks worn down as if hundreds of people walked on it. I keep Nessie snug in the crook of my left arm and continue to holding on to Ro with the right. There’s a question nudging at the back of my head.

“ho’s gonna be at the party?” “A buncha people” she keeps her gaze ahead, but I feel her hand squeeze and loosen.

“Do I know these people?” I continue on. If I’m going to a fancy party, I’d like to make sure it’s not just any strangers.

Avoiding the subject, she answers my question with one of her own. “Is there anyone you’ve every missed seeing?”

I think about this long and hard. I close my eyes and let my memory flow. My Aunt Mary pops up. We’re cooking her special clam chowder. The homemade broth she made was ready. When it was time to strain it, she accidentally poured the broth down the drain. Instead of frustration, she laughed and brought store brand broth. The chowder was good, but not as great as if we had made it with the homemade broth. This was a week before her cancer diagnosis. When she was still home and healthy I visited her every day. I stopped when the hospital visits turned into extended stays. It was hard to see her. A once plump and happy woman, turned to bones. She still kept a smile on her face until the day she died, so I was told. I wasn’t brave enough to go to her funeral.

I let the bad memories fade and focus on the lingering of my fondest memory. I begin to open my eyes and look into her searching ones and say “my Aunt Mary.” I give her a soft smile in remembrance. Ro’s brows furrow and her smile doesn’t reach her eyes like mine. I notice her eyes becoming glossy and she turns away from me looking straight ahead.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late for the party” she moves faster this time, and I almost have a hard time keeping up.

“Who are you excited to —” I’m interrupted as I stumble and land into a bush. As I climb out, I feel the pricks and pokes of the thorns. Ro laughs at me. At least she’s in better spirits now. She yanks me out and I almost land into another bush. I loosen my grip around Nessie’s neck and inspect us both. To my surprise, not a tear in sight. Not even a cut or bruise. Odd.

"Let’s go” she nudges her head in the direction we’ve been walking in. Instead of hand in hand we walk at a slow pace next to each other.

“How old are you?” I ask to make the walk go by faster.

“10”

My eyes almost bulge out of my head. “How? I’m 12 and you’re like 20 inches taller than me.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head with a laugh.

“I was born to be a model like Naomi Sims” she struts around and poses.

“Who?” Is all I can muster. I’ve never heard that name before. The last model I remember hearing about is Anok Yai, and that was before my mother found out about my secret twitter account.

“What do you mean who?” She stops in her tracks, “She’s one the greatest models of our time!” Her glare bears into me.

I shrug my shoulders as high as they could go and tell her “Never heard of her.” she sucks her teeth at me.

Tsk.

“Hurry up, we’re almost there.” Her pace is speeds up again. I alternate between looking at my surroundings and bobbing of her braids. I don’t want to trip again.

“Why was I invited to this party? How did you know what size I wear? When can I see my parents? Where are we? What time is it really? And who is host—”

She stops walking and holds up her left hand cocking her head to the side. I swerve around her to slow my momentum and avoid another fall. I yelp and she hushes me with one finger to her lips.

“Listen! there’s music.” She pulls my arm, and I huff at the roughness. As we get closer the music becomes louder and louder. It sounds like one of those old R&B songs my mother plays whenever we’re supposed to clean the house. We stop again in front of a bunch of giant leaves, and she shines a quick smile in my direction. She pulls them back and ushers me into clearing.

The white on everyone’s outfits matches their varying shades of black skin. There’s a table in the center of the room, a long white table filled with soul food fruits, mostly oranges, and a huge white cake lit with long white candles. I don’t have much time to get a good look at anyone’s face before Ro yanks me again. I almost ripped my hand away from her but decided against it.

“I swear every time someone new comes along the music gets worse and worse” I hear an old sounding voice mumble as we pass. We walk further away from the liveliness of the party and find a figure sitting under a tree.

The person has their back to us. A white head wrap covers their hair. Ro stops and lets me go walking up to the bulky figure. With the brightest grin she can muster, she taps their shoulder and whispers something in their ear. Both Ro and the person turn to me, and I freeze almost dropping Nessie.

“AUNT MARY” I shriek and run as fast as my legs can carry me. We hold each other as tight as we can. We hold each other for a long while before she pulls back. Tears flow free from our eyes.

“I’ve missed you Shania,” there’s a hint of wistfulness in her voice. She holds my face in her hands using the pads of her thumbs to wipe away fast moving tears. Not wanting to look in my eyes she pulls me close again and we sway in slow movements to the music.

“I’d wish to have met you at my age instead of Ro’s.” As if on que, Ro wraps her arms around us both and matches our slow rhythm. “I would’ve came to get you, but my sister thought it was best someone your age comes to get you”

Ro hums at the mention of her. “Besides the occasional baby, we don’t have kids my age around here.” We break apart and I dry my tears with my hand.

Ro pulls me away from Aunt Mary and takes one of my hands and hold’s Nessie’s in her other and we begin to spin. We go faster and faster. “Me you and Nessie can play for forever now” she puffs between breathes, “It’s not the same playing with Mary since she’s old now.”

A stick comes flying at us and we manage to break apart in time to avoid it. When we looked up, Mary looked at her sister with such an intense glare, I began to back away. Ro stares her down with feet planted firm against the ground. Her shoulders, her squared back and her chin are tilted high. They stay like this for a while until they both crack out in fits of laughter. I take a few uneasy laughs myself and look to the ground. I take my foot and twist it side to side disturbing the dirt. I hear light footsteps approach me and lift my chin up and I meet Aunt Mary’s loving gaze.

“We have to show you something Shania.” This time she’s the one to take my hand. She slowly leads me even further away from the party. When we arrived at our destination, I noticed a small glowing lake. She’s the first to step in and I carefully follow after her. The lake stays shallow as we walk all the way to the center where it glows the brightest. She reaches down into the water and begins moving her hand in circular motions as if to clear the brightness.

"Look" is all that she says as we gaze into the clear circle. I watch myself walking on the edge deck with my Nintendo Switch in hand when two boys around my age and height come up to me. They ask if they could play, but I tell them no. Angry, they try to snatch it out of my hand, pushing me. I hold on in a vice grip. They look to each other and within a brief second, they use their combined strength to hold me onto the top of the rail. I began to cry, and they told me they’ll drop me into the water if I don’t give up the game. The only response I can get out is a scream as a wave bumps along the boat and weakens their grip. I fall in the water and try to swim but the water is too strong. Me and Nessie began sinking and a life boat came to rescue me. I grip Aunt Mary’s hand tight as I watch them do CPR. The rescue team mumble something to my parents and my mother falls to ground sobbing like I’ve never seen before.

There’s something in me that wants to look away, but I can’t. It’s like I’m in a trance. The lake shows me a funeral. When it shows the small casket, I see myself sleeping in peace wearing the same dress I’m wearing now. My eyes water when I notice one of my arms holding Nessie snug against me. We lay on a comfy pink satin bed. Her white fur looks cleaner and brighter. Her pink mane soothed down and while my eyes were closed, hers stared openly. she rests a pink hoof on my stomach. The last thing we see is them lowering the polished white casket into the ground is my family throwing pink and yellow hibiscus flowers into the hole. When the last flower from my parents falls, the images start to blend in with the water. The lake returns to its glowing hue. I leave the lake undisturbed as a stand hunched over like one of those church statues. It takes the gentle tug of my hand to release me from my daze.

We trek through the low waters, making our way to land. The ends of our dresses dragging along. Aunt Mary is holding Nessie now. Upright like a baby. If this were any other day I’d laugh, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I’m gone. I’ll never get to drive a car or wear all the makeup I want. Can’t get an adult job and eat ice cream for dinner. Most of all, no more beautiful Caribbean beaches with my mom and dad. The thought of never getting to grow up bothers me. It feels we with a sadness so overwhelming, it oozes out until I’m left numb and empty.

Almost tripping over the clearing onto to land snaps me back to life. Life? Aunt Mary steadies me with ease leads me to where Ro is waving. Still mourning, I almost miss the fact that our footsteps don’t squelch in the grass. The ends of our dresses are dry too. Things were different here.

“What is this Island?” I uttered in a low voice. We don’t meet each other’s gazes, and I opt for continuing to look at my feet bending grass blades.

I don’t think she heard me. I open my mouth to repeat just a little louder, but she stops me with her own soft voice.

“We’re on an island because this is your favorite place to visit. When I got here the party was in my home. When grandpa came it was a bar.” Her voice is the closest I could get to feeling warmth. Ro, or Aunt Ro, joins us and slides her arm into mine. It takes a moment, but we sync in a slow rhythm.

“My party was at my favorite diner” she declares with excitement, “We had all of the pancakes we could eat, and I even heard them playing Donna Summers.” She shares a knowing grin with her sister and mentions “We were never allowed to listen to her, so we’d sneak the record when they left for work.”

Aunt Mary and Ro dissolve into giggles. Every time I think they’re done, they burst into laughter again. It takes forever for them to stop. When they do I notice corners of my mouth twitching up here and there. We make our way back to the booming music. This time I hear the upbeat sounds of music played at our annual cookouts. Ro and Aunt Mary show off their outdated moves. Nessie sways along in Aunt Mary’s arms while I flash all of my pearly whites.

I look to my left and notice grandpa in a fitted white suit and hat. Extended from the hat is a red feather. He’s playing dominoes with a group of men I’ve only ever seen in family photos. Grandpa flashes me a mournful smile and raises his glass to me like the other men.

“You were supposed to be taking care of grandma for me!” He hollers over the loud music. We share a knowing chuckle, and he tips his head in a nod as if to send me off.

My body moves towards the right, and I notice a group of women of all ages. One of them says something that causes the others to fall out in laughter. Almost spilling their drinks. Some are dressed in black, like other party members, while others wear diverse shades of white. What they all have in common is their old and outdated clothing and hair. I saunter up to their table and cringe in regret.

“Look at how precious she is” one of the ladies announces. I feel a light pinch on my cheek and another on my nose.

“She’s got Albertina’s nose too” My offender exclaims.

An old lady with a stuffy black buttoned up shirt and heavy skirt approaches me. she gives me a once over and mm hmm in shame.

“It’s a shame she’s so young,” She voices to the other ladies, “I wonder what her parents wh—”

“There you are Shania!” Ro blurts out from behind me. She pulls me to the center of the clearing and leads me to the giant white cake. She takes quick glances to the left and right and reaches a long limb towards the cake. She gets a good amount of frosting on her finger and takes an enthusiastic taste.

MMmmmmmm. All she could muster from the taste. She almost reaches back in but is stopped by a familiar hand.

“This is not your party Rosalind” Aunt Mary reprimands, “These are offerings for Shania. Let her enjoy them first.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice as I’m already eating overflowing plate of rich mac and cheese mixed with candied yams, perfectly cooked collard greens and a small portion of okra Aunt Mary forced on my plate. Mixed into the plate is the crunchiest chicken and smoky ribs. I’m truly being spoiled. As I eat the delicious food in front of me, I look to all of the happy faces surrounding me. Everyone chatters and eats. There’s some teasing about how the food tastes better than some of the other parties. All I could this is how I could get used to this.

Towards the left hand edge of the party, I notice a shortcut to the beach. I let out a half-hearted sigh and rolled my eyes far into the back of my head.

Why did we have to take the long way? I trudge over to the sand and take my sandals off. The sun descends at a slow rate from the sky. I let the soft waves brush against my feet. A soft breeze comes and causes my hair and dress to dance. I stretch each arm out as far as I can and close my eyes letting it consume me. I stay like this for a while. The bright light behind my eyes dims. I almost don’t notice the crunching of approaching feet.

I hesitate for a moment, then open my eyes. Ro stands next to me hands me Nessie. I envelop her soft fur into my arms. We both look to the sunset, letting it paint the sky and ocean in varying shades of orange and pink. Not wanting to interrupt, Ro moves closer and wraps her arm around me. I lean in with my head on her shoulder and we stay like this until the sun finally bids us good night.

The stars take over the dark the sun left behind and the moon illuminates the rapid movements of the ocean. At last, I can now hear the sounds of birds chirping their good nights. An incandescent butterfly lands atop Nessie’s head and she softly neighs. This prompts me to smile a small smile at the endlessness in front of me. I yawn and release the heaviness of my shoulders, finally feeling at peace.