That Girl

“Chakra! Breakfast is ready” My Mother screams from downstairs. “There’s bacon, sausage, pancakes and eggs set up on the kitchen table”. I step onto my bathroom scale. Cold metal makes my feet tingle. I look down at the three digit number... My lip gets a sharp pain from me biting it. I move toward the vanity, looking at my reflection. My cold fingers smooth over the bumpy surfaces of my face. I wipe away the tears that run down my cheeks. My hair falls over me, trying to hide... Hide from myself.

I slowly make my way downstairs. “I’m not hungry Mum” I walk to pick up my backpack and head for the bus. There’s only one seat left and it’s at the back. There’s sweat on my brow. I start to fiddle with the sleeve of my sweater. Seems like the longest bus ever. I get to my seat and slowly sit down. The pain comes again from the lip biting. I pray that today will be a good day.

I head to my first class. I walk in and the class goes quiet... The girls start to giggle, I look down at what I’m wearing. I have a feeling it’s about me. I head to my seat, which is isolated from the others. Why? Because people think I’m like some kind of disease or something. At school I just keep to myself and mind my own business.

“Okay class, we have a new student” says Mrs Bradford our English teacher. “His name is Stiles, he’s from Atlanta. Stiles you can sit beside Chakra” The class goes silent. My heart starts to beat faster. “Hi, I’m Stiles” “Uh... Uhm hi, I’m Chakra...” “Nice to meet you”. My heart starts pumping ten times faster! Not only am I talking to someone other than my parents or teachers but I’m talking to a cute boy... A real boy. How is this happening? People don’t talk to me, especially boys.

It’s lunch now. Normal people eat in the cafeteria with their friends... Not me, I spend my lunch hiding in a bathroom stall. Most people have friends to hang out with or a relationship to work on. Then there’s me... The only people I talk to are my family and teachers. Sad, I know but no one else will talk to me. Sometimes I feel that my family doesn’t want to speak to me. My brother thinks I’m also some kind of disease. Then Stiles came... He changed things. He talked to me, me the person no one speaks to. I don’t know if he’s crazy to do that and ruin his rep in a new school but... It’s nice to know that someone would actually make an effort to speak to me... It truly is a good feeling. The first time in such a long time I actually feel wanted.

I walk to my locker to get my books for my next class. Some jocks thought it would be funny to throw their ball at me and make me drop all my things. They make pig noises when I pick up my things. Everyone seemed to think it was funny. After I got my things I rush off to the bathroom to hide from others and not show them the tears they caused. I don’t understand how I can be such an outcast while my brother is one of the most popular guys in the whole school. I guess it’s because he’s skinny, good looking and on the football team. Both my parents were popular in high school. Mum was the head cheerleader while my Dad was the captain of the football team. Then there’s me... Unpopular, unattractive and unwanted.

Finally last block is here, I’m counting down the minutes until the bell rings. Mr Dancaster my socials teacher is telling us about our year end project that we need to start. It’s January and we are starting a year end project already... I guess it’s going to be a big one. He says we must work with a partner or we fail. I can’t afford to fail a year end project. So I guess I’m forced to work with someone. The only question is who will I work with or better like who wants to work with me.

There’s only five minutes left in socials. Once the bell rings I head straight to my locker to drop my things off and walk home. My brother should be driving me home but he doesn’t want to ruin his rep. He says it’s embarrassing enough having friends over while I’m home... Great brother huh? I try not to think of my own family not wanting me. Stiles pulls up next to me in his car. “Want a ride?” I think to myself should I do this? Should I screw up his new rep at this school? “Come on Chakra, it’s cold out. Get in I’ll take you home” I get into his car and thank him. I’m surprised he was still talking to me.

We pull up to my house. My brother and the boys on the football team are parked in front of our house and playing football. Once again I get hit with the ball as I’m walking to the front door. I just ignore it but they all know that with each ball thrown at me or each mean word said to me hurts and weakens me. I work my way up stairs. Trying to avoid being seen by my parents, but I guess my stealth like skills are a bit rusty. My Dad saw me and asked how my day was. What am I suppose to tell him? ‘Hey dad, today was absolutely terrible. I got two balls thrown at me and not only did people make me cry but I’m getting picked on everyday’ I can’t tell my dad that, I can’t tell anyone that. I lied and told him my day was fine. Maybe the more I ignore it or lie about it the better it’ll get.

In the movies they make high school look so amazing and full of fun. The popularity, the looks and all the awesome parties. This is normally what happens with lots of people but then there’s me... I have no friends, no looks and the only parties I’ve been invited to were my own birthday parties. I had a dream, a dream to be wanted, beautiful and thin. To have friends to hangout with, to have a boyfriend to love and care about me. But I guess that’s why they call it a dream, because it wont happen and it’s like a fantasy. I don’t understand why everything has to be so hard for me. I’m a nice person, why can’t people see passed my weight and face? It kind of sucks how society has to work... Okay it sucks a lot!

It’s morning now, I start to do my daily routine. After I’m all ready I head downstairs and catch a small breakfast. I say bye to my parents then head off to the bus. I run into Stiles on my way to my locker. “Hey Chakra! Would you like to do the socials project with me?” Stiles says with a big smile on his face. “Uh hi. Sure I guess we could work together” I bite my lip and regret agreeing. We head to English together, when we walk in together the front row of girls stop talking and look at us with disgust. When we pass we hear them snickering about us. Surprisingly Stiles and I talked all class, and we even ate lunch together. When socials class came along we started to talk about what we wanted to do for our year end project. I invited him over after school to work on it.

Once we got to my house we headed to the back deck and started our project. I didn’t realize how long we have been working until my mum came out and asked if Stiles was staying for dinner. He did, Mum made steak, mashed potatoes and fresh veggies from our garden. It tasted so good, it seemed like Stiles liked it as well. Everyday we either went to my house or his after school. Sometimes we would work on the project others we would just hang out and have fun. Stiles and I have become great friends, I actually have a friend. It has been four months since I met Stiles and I’m glad I did. He changed my outlook on the world. He proved that there are nice people in the world who are willing to put their rep on the line to better someone else’s life.

I’m getting ready for bed when I get a text from Stiles “Hey Chakra, I was just wondering what your doing on the weekend? If your free would you like to go to the movies with me?” After I read the text I instantly got butterflies. “I think going to the movies would be great! I’m in just let me know what time”. Basically everyday Stiles and I hang out. I wonder if he likes me, I hope he does. When we hang out we laugh, we make jokes, we take pictures and just have fun. I feel different when I’m with Stiles, I feel happy. I like being with Stiles, he makes me feel cared for and he makes me forget all the hate and negativity that is thrown towards me. I forget about all the pain and all the scars that followed from the pain. I feel like a nice person, a person that has a joyous life that is full of wonder.

You know that saying “if it seems to good to be true it probably is”? Well it’s true. I go to school and the first thing I see is pictures of Stiles and I all over the school. The next thing I see is the writing that goes with it. All the secrets I told Stiles were all over the pictures and the walls. All my deep and personal feelings were exposed for the whole student body to see... The only person I told my feelings to was Stiles. Stiles, the boy I thought cared... The boy I thought was different, I guess I was stupid to think that in this world there were good people. I felt like I just got my heart ripped out of my chest. My whole world is falling apart. I’m getting bullied more than ever because now they know all my weaknesses. Now everyone knew how to really hurt me, but the one person that did the most hurting was Stiles. He broke my heart, not only did he tell everyone all my secrets but he lied and pretended to be my friend... Who does that? After I saw all the pictures and the words Stiles comes walking up with a big smile on his face and has the nerve to talk to me. Right when I saw him I burst into tears “how could you?” I struggle to speak. “It was a joke. You know ha ha” “telling everyone my deepest and darkest secrets isn’t a joke!” I run out of the school. I walk home crying, it’s a good thing my parents work all day. I head straight up to my bedroom and slam the door shut. I rest my forehead on the door for a minute or two. Then when I’ve calmed down a bit I walk over to my closet, I grab one of my belts... I place it around my neck and connect it to the coat hanger, and I say my last goodbye.

The End