It’s You (A Short Story)

People find it hard to tell them apart, physically. They always wear the same clothes, the same hairstyle and they even have the same hobbies. They get along very well—they go to parties together and have the same circle of friends. It was rare to see them apart.

If you ask people, they would say Riley and Sky are like the same person.

It seems they missed one thing.

Riley Adams is an outgoing person. He likes meeting new people and hanging out with them. He likes studying so getting an A+ is a piece of cake. Riley wanted to become a doctor. Ever since he was a kid, everyone has always been praising his intelligence. Riley is good at any sport, may it be basketball or baseball. He likes working out so he goes to the gym more than three times a week. Riley likes dark baggy clothes, they make him look so cool. Riley had a couple of girlfriends—every one beautiful, kind, and from a good family—whom their parents loved.

Sky Adams looked up to him, so much to the point that he forced himself to copy his twin brother. Because Sky knew from the start that he will never be as smart, as outgoing, and as good as Riley.

Sky didn't like studying, he didn't get bad grades but he was never the top in his classes—unlike Riley. Sky is shy, the mere thought of going outside to meet new people makes him wanna lock himself up in his room. Sky likes video games more than physical sports. He hates working out but he loves dancing. And singing. He likes pastel-colored clothes, they make him feel pretty, which is wrong because boys shouldn't want to feel pretty. They shouldn't want to have boyfriends rather than girlfriends.

It was their seventh birthday celebration when Sky learned that he was different, a lot different from Riley. There were many guests—people he didn't recognize and saw for the first time. Little girls were wearing pretty dresses and cute shoes, but he was not curious about that. He was more interested in a particularly cute boy. He practically tailed the boy throughout the event even though he was one of the celebrants. He didn't wanna leave the cute boy's side, his eyes always sticking to him. He thought it was just a mere admiration, and the others thought as well, but that changed when he decided to have the courage of kissing the boy's cheek. He felt their relatives' lingering stares of shock and disgust.

"Why did you kiss me?" The cute boy shouted at him after the quick peck on his cheek. His hands were quick to wipe away the small boy's kiss.

"Sky likes you," he announced with his huge bunny smile but he only got a look of disdain from the other boy.

"Boys shouldn't like other boys. Boys also shouldn't kiss other boys, it's disgusting."

After that, he never kissed another boy again, even Riley and papa who loved getting kisses from him.

When he was twelve, Sky learned that he liked wearing oversized pastel-colored shirts and feminine clothes. They made him feel good and light. He felt like those clothes boosted his confidence, but that was shattered every time he sees his parents eyeing him from head to toe the moment they see him leave his room. They didn't comment on his choice of clothing but he felt their disappointment. He tried ignoring that, but comments from other people were inevitable. It made him conscious and insecure about himself because why aren't they saying the same thing to Riley’s choice of clothing?

Why only me?

Starting then, he decided to wear the same clothes that his brother wears. Maybe then, others wouldn't mock him anymore.

Riley moved out when they were sixteen. He wanted to live independently and their parents believed that he was already capable so they let him. Riley frequently invited Sky to spend some time with him and his friends but Sky liked staying home more than going out to party or have a study session at the library with his twin brother's friends. He didn't like the deafening sound of the music playing in the background nor the smell of the intoxicating drinks. He also didn't like studying especially with people he was not close to. He would rather listen to calming music on his earphones while reading a book or playing video games.

Their parents aren't always home. They spend almost their whole day working and when they come home, they are still working. It was never like this before.

When Sky and Riley turned seventeen years old, their parents started spending less time with each other. It was like they fell out of love and they were just choosing to stay together for the sake of not ruining their name and image. There were fights and countless exchanges of hurtful words. He tried to stop their parents from fighting sometimes but they were just so angry that they always end up taking it out on him.

They never hurt him physically but their words always poke a hole in his heart. Their words were meaningless to them, but it was everything to Sky. After they calm down, they would act as if nothing happened and go on with their lives. They wouldn't remember what they said after a while and Sky would just act like it was nothing. He would just ignore the throbbing pain in his chest when he faces the both of them again. Riley didn’t have the slightest idea about this because he was rarely at home.

Sky was reading the book that Riley bought him recently with his earphones on when he heard shouts outside his room. They were so loud that even though he tried to block them out, he could still hear them. Sky peeked his head outside his door, listening in on his parents' conversation and trying to wait for the perfect chance to stop them from arguing.

"If only you were listening to me and not jumping to conclusions again, this wouldn't be happening right now! We argue a lot because you don't trust me! That's the real reason, and not because I cheated or whatever because I never cheated on you!"

"You were with someone!"

"Mama—?" Sky tried.

"Did you see it? Did you see me? Did you see what happened? Everything? How can you be so sure that I cheated on you?"

"Is it because I'm not as beautiful as I was?"

"That's the problem with you! You always think that way!"

"Ever since you inherited that business of yours, you never saw me as your equal again and that's the truth! That's why you looked for someone better!"

"I did not!"

"Mama, papa! Please stop—"

"You’ve changed! That's what happened!"

"You fucker! I never changed! It was you who changed. You are not the same person that I once loved! You're just some old man who fucked every single woman that he can just because he fucking can!"

Sky gasped. "Mama, no, don't say that please—"

"What did you say? Had I known that you are this kind of woman, I wouldn't have—"

"Wouldn't have what? Married me? Had kids with me? Well, it's your fault that my life is ruined anyway! If you didn't get me pregnant, then I wouldn't be suffering like this!"

"Yes! I wouldn't have married you! Did you think I wanted to have a family with you? I just tried because you got pregnant! I tried to love you!"

"And now you don't anymore? Did you ever love me? Because I don’t think you did!"

"Mama, papa, listen to me, please. You're just both mad—"

"Shut up! You both ruined my life! I regret ever meeting you and bringing this kid to this world! I wouldn't be like this if not because of you!"

"This kid is your son! How could you say that?"

"Is it because I gave you a weird son? That you're trying to break this family?"

Sky stilled. He knew they were talking about him.

"Watch what you're saying—"

His mother turned to look at him with angry eyes. "This is your fault! If only you were like Riley!"

Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he watched his mother walk out as if she didn't just say something that tore his heart apart. He looked at his father but anger was still present in the man's eyes. Even a little bit of concern was absent.

"P-papa..."

The man just left before he could even mutter another word. Sky wiped the tears that fell on his cheek and forced a smile.

"It's okay. At least, the shouts are gone now."

After that, Sky never stayed home anymore when his parents were there. He hung out with his brother and his friends even if he didn't want to, just so he could escape their parents' exchange of painful words at home. He'd rather go someplace where the music was loud—not his parents' shouts. He didn't want to hear their voices and their mean words. Not anymore.

Sky started becoming like his brother. He didn't want to be weird. He wanted to be normal. He asked to join them wherever they go, he studied hard, he tried to befriend his brother’s friends, he changed his clothes, and he partied.

It was a Friday night, right after exams. Sky, Riley, and their friends go to parties but only when their schedules are not tight, like today. After weeks of busying themselves with books, they decided that a few drinks is what they deserved. They were in a club, Sky was watching sweaty bodies grinding on each other on the dancefloor with a grimace. No matter how many times he goes here, he will never get used to this kind of sight. Sky didn't drink alcohol. The first time he tried and got wasted, he regretted it all. He was full-on crying—sobbing—in Riley’s arms about how unfair life is one moment, then dancing on top of the table the second. He was so embarrassed that he swore he will never drink again. So he stayed on his seat while the others went to the dancefloor. Riley didn't want to leave him there alone but Sky wanted him to have his fun. Riley wasn't in a club to babysit, after all.

He was on his phone, scrolling, when a guy sat beside him.

"Alone this time?" the guy asked but Sky tried to ignore him, pretending he didn't hear him speak. He knew from experience that people in this place can be... inappropriate sometimes. A few minutes without any of them speaking nor moving an inch passed before Sky heaved a sigh and shut his phone. He rested his head on the counter.

"It seems to me that you want to get out of here rather than to party," the guy spoke again. "That's very unlike you."

Sky frowned in confusion before looking at the unfamiliar guy. "Do I know you?"

"Don't act like you don't know me now. It's me, Hunter."

Sky tilted his head to take a better look at the man's face. Sky’s going to lie if he said that this man doesn't look good because he does. Strong jaw, thick eyebrows, tall pointed nose. His blonde hair compliments his tan complexion well. His eyes are beautiful too. Totally Sky’s type, but he can't. He shouldn't, so he averted his attention back in front of him and said, "I don't think you've got the right person."

"Oh please, you already tried that before. Again, I don't believe you. Don't be a brat, Riley."

"Yup, not me."

"How about I buy you a drink?" Hunter took his wallet out of his pocket.

"No, thank you," Sky said cautiously.

The guy rested his chin on his hand while looking at Sky, mesmerized.

'Is this guy hitting on my brother?' Sky sighed. Riley was not even gay. Sky was pretty sure his brother already said that to this guy but it seemed like the guy was persistent.

"I'm leaving." He'd just text Riley that he left early so that they won’t worry about him.

Sky stood up to walk away but Hunter followed him. "How about a dinner with me?"

Poor guy.

Sky left the club but he didn't want to go home yet. It was just eight o’clock in the evening and he was certain his parents were still awake at this time so he decided to walk around to pass time. The night was quiet away from the clubs. There were stars in the sky, although not many. However, his peace was disrupted when he suddenly felt arms slinging over his shoulder. He jumped in surprise and looked at the other with his big doe eyes. It was Hunter.

"W-what are you doing?" Sky asked but the man just grasped his own chest while looking at him.

They both froze while looking at each other. Hunter had his eyebrows raised, looking surprised, while Sky was trying to prevent his face from getting red. "Fuck! That was cute."

"W-what?"

"Damn, are you drunk? How can you be so much cuter than before? Stop doing that face, I'm weak."

The man was whipped.

"Why are you following me?" Sky shrugged Hunter’s arm off of his shoulder. "Are you a stalker?"

"I look too good to be a stalker. Call me an admirer," the guy said and he wasn't lying so who was Sky to argue.

They passed a dancing fountain. The colors of the water were constantly changing due to the lights and Sky paused to watch it. Hunter stayed beside him, watching him as he watched the water.

"Something’s different about you," he said after a while of observing.

"That's because I'm not the person you think I am. I told you this already," Sky explained but Hunter just snickered.

"You told me that before and, again, I don't believe you. And besides, it's not a bad kind of different. I like the silence too. Anything is great when I'm with you."

Sky felt something flutter in his chest. This guy is so cheesy, maybe that was the reason why Riley seemed to be ignoring him.

"I didn't see you eat anything earlier. Aren't you hungry?"

"You were watching me? T-that's creepy."

Hunter chuckled at the scared expression on his face. The man flicked his forehead and Sky rubbed on the spot with a scowl.

"I just happened to see you at the right time. One moment you were dancing, then the next you were sitting alone without touching anything but your phone."

"Riley was the one dancing, not me."

"Yeah yeah, here we go again with your different personalities. I know you don't like me but I promise you I can change that," Hunter said with a wink. Sky looked so done with him but that changed immediately when his stomach grumbled. His cheeks warmed as the other chuckled.

"Come, I know a nice place nearby." Hunter took his arm and started walking but Sky resisted, causing Hunter to look at him with confusion. "I won't kidnap you or anything. We're only going to eat. Why is your guard so high right now?"

He was again pulled by his arm and Sky let the man drag him this time. Hunter seemed to be a good person anyway. He just hoped he wasn't wrong.

The place Hunter was talking about was a cute cafe. The smell was pleasant, opposite to how the club smelled. Sky liked the place.

"I'll take your order," Hunter said before walking to the line but Sky followed him anyway. He didn't want to be indebted to this guy. There were not more than five people in the cafe so finding a good seat was not hard. He could take his time choosing his order. Hunter ordered a strawberry milkshake and a red velvet cake while Sky was scanning his eyes on the menu.

His eyes brightened. "One banana milkshake and one blueberry cheesecake please," he said.

"I thought you liked chocolate milkshakes more?" Hunter asked, confused.

"Chocolate is good too, but I like banana more."

Hunter nodded his head, still confused. "I’m pretty sure you…" he trailed off before shrugging. Sky was curious but decided not to ask.

They waited for their order in their seat. Hunter didn't take his eyes off of Sky and the latter felt a little self-conscious because of that. He didn't like it when people stare at him because he felt like they were judging him.

He shifted his eyes to see if Hunter was still looking at him and when he figured that he was, he turned his attention back to fiddling with his fingers.

"You look pretty tonight," Hunter said and even though Sky knew that he meant to say that to his twin brother, he still couldn’t help but feel good.

He peeked through his bangs to look at Hunter who immediately gave him a bright smile, and it was enough to warm Sky’s cheeks again. He knew he was blushing. But who could blame him, though? A handsome guy was praising him—something that he stopped receiving a long time ago.

He cleared his throat and tried to change the topic.

"So how old are you?"

He nearly face-palmed when he realized how bold his question was. Again, you can't blame him, his mind was jumbled. He was flustered.

"I'm two years older than you and I can't believe you forgot," Hunter answered with an amused smile on his face.

"Oh..."

"How are your classes going?" Hunter asked when he sensed the other's awkwardness.

"Good, I guess."

Their orders came and while Sky was sipping on his banana milkshake, Hunter asked another question that surprised him.

"Do you still sing? I don't think I see you still going to the music room."

"I… I changed courses," Sky replied, still surprised because 'That's me. He was talking about me.'

"Oh, yeah. You took medicine, right? But why, if that's not rude for me to ask? I mean you have a great voice."

'He's mistaken me for Riley.'

"I thought medicine is a much better choice."

The older hummed while observing the younger's face. "But do you like it more?"

It was the first time that someone asked him what he liked. The weight in his chest suddenly got heavier and he gulped. He didn't like it. He didn't like the course. He liked singing more. But he doesn't want to disappoint anyone.

"Yes." He forced a smile.

Hunter seemed like a decent guy.

He was smitten, alright, but he was kind and he was a gentleman. They talked about a lot of things that night and it never got boring, even in between awkward silences. Hunter offered to take him home and he was comfortable enough to agree. Before parting ways, the older asked for his number and they were both shocked by how fast and easy he gave it.

It was nice talking to Hunter. They talked about the small things but those conversations mattered the most to Sky because no one ever dared to have those talks with him.

Sky wanted to be his friend.

The next day, Hunter messaged him if he was free and if he could go with him somewhere. He knew that the other was meaning to ask Riley out so he asked his brother but the other was busy. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to pretend to be his brother for one more day. He could be someone else and not himself, he was good at that.

It didn't matter if Hunter called him Riley with such a soft smile.

They ended up in a dog cafe. Hunter preferred dogs over cats and Sky didn’t have any problem with that because he was the same. The dogs were currently running around and Sky watched them with a small smile while holding his banana milk. He squealed when he saw a small Pomeranian running excitedly toward Hunter and pawing at his foot. The older smiled at the cute dog and picked him up.

"He's so cute!" Sky shrieked.

"This is Clover. Don't tell anyone but he's my favorite," Hunter introduced.

Sky giggled and played with Clover. The dog wriggled out of Hunter’s arm only to leap straight into Sky’s. The younger laughed at his offended face.

“Oh, now you like him more than me? You traitor!"

Sky laughed again at the older's antics.

"I'm planning on adopting him," the older said.

"Really? That's great! I know you'll be a great dad. Right, Clover?" The puppy barked happily before licking Sky’s cheek and the younger giggled. "I like you too!"

"You can be his papa," Hunter said and Sky snapped his head at him, looking at the older with huge eyes. Hunter just patted his head with a big smile and left to handle the adoption process as if he did not just say something flattering.

They stayed at the cafe longer, talking about nonsense things and playing with Clover and the other dogs.

"Let's play two truths and a lie," Hunter suggested when it was time for the dogs to eat.

"Uh, yeah sure. You go first," Sky stated.

Hunter put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands while sending Sky a playful stare.

“One, strawberry is my favorite fruit. Two, I'm naturally blonde. And three, I like playing video games."

Sky brightened. "No way, you like video games too?"

Hunter’s eyes narrowed. "You're supposed to guess which one is the lie."

The younger suppresses his laughter. "The second one is obviously a lie. You just ordered strawberry milkshake yesterday—”

"Doesn't automatically mean it is my favorite," Hunter chimed in.

"Sure, sure. Your roots are growing, Hunter."

"No way, I just dyed my hair!" The older pulled on his hair while Sky laughed. Hunter brought his chin back to rest on his hands. "We should play video games someday," he said.

Sky let out a small smile. "I’d love that."

"Your turn," Hunter muttered before he ends up just staring at the younger's beauty.

Sky hummed, thinking of what he and Riley have in similar. "I don't read books—"

"That's a lie," Hunter interrupted. Sky frowned while pouting.

"Hunter!! How did you know?"

"I observe, petal.” Sky tried to ignore the cute nickname, but the blush on his face gave him away. “You always have a book in your hand. You can't fool me," Hunter shrugged as if it was obvious.

It was true, after all. Both he and Riley liked reading books. The only difference was that Riley liked intellectual books while Sky was a hopeless romantic.

"You should go again. I didn't hear a fact about you," Hunter added.

Sky huffed, still pouting. "That's not how the game works. You literally interrupted me."

"Alright, just don't pout. It's too cute."

Sky scrunched his nose but smiled at the older being hilarious anyway.

Hunter held his pinky finger up in front of Sky’s face. "I grew up with my grandparents." Then added his ring finger. "I like spicy foods." And lastly, his middle finger. "I've liked you for 2 years now."

Flustered at the last choice, Sky grabbed Hunter’s middle finger. "The last one," he uttered.

Hunter grinned and took Sky’s hand that was holding his finger to clasp it in his own.

"I lived with my grandparents before my parents took me here three years ago. I can eat a lot of things but not spicy food. I get sweaty and my eyes start to water when I do and I don't like that feeling."

Sky’s eyes were wide as he stared at Hunter. "T-two years?"

The older hummed, nodding firmly as his thumb rubbed the younger's hand. "I know you don't remember and it's fine, but the first time I met you, you already had my heart. And whether you like it or not, I will have yours. No matter how long it takes. I am a patient person anyway."

The younger gulped, having mixed emotions inside of him.

"Persistent," he corrected and the older just laughed.

"That too."

If you ask Sky about his day, he'd say that the first half was the best one he ever had in a long time. Whenever he was with Hunter, he never felt pressured. It was like the older would never judge him even if he picked the wrong thing, or if he did things that were opposite to what Riley would do.

"Bye bye, Papa Riley.” Hunter waved Clover’s small paw and Sky waved back before going inside his house.

Except when that happens. It felt like everything wasn't true, because he shouldn't be there talking and enjoying his time with Hunter. It should be Riley. It felt like he was not only copying his brother, it was like he was stealing his life. And he didn’t like that feeling because he loved his brother.

Texting Hunter became a daily occurrence.

Sky didn't mention Hunter’s name in the presence of his brother even once. A few weeks of hanging out together without Riley’s knowledge passed and today, Hunter took him to the mall.

They watched a movie, ate lunch together, and just walked around with their hands intertwined. He couldn't pull his hand away when Hunter suddenly took it, and if he were being honest, he didn't want to let go anyway.

Sky excused himself to go to the toilet and while he was away, Hunter bought him a present.

"What's that?" Sky asked when he saw the paper bag that the older was holding.

"Just some stuff for school," Hunter lied and Sky hummed in understanding.

"Do you wanna go see Clove? He misses you already," the older asked nonchalantly.

"Um, at your house?" The younger wasn't sure why he suddenly felt nervous.

"I won't do anything to you, I promise."

Sky blushed. "I-I know that."

Hunter drove them to his house. It was not big but not small either, just enough so it looked cozy. The inside of his house had a homey aura. They heard a bark before the tiny fluffball appeared.

"Clover!" Sky scooped the puppy in his arms. "How are you? I missed you too!" He giggled when he felt his cheek being licked.

"He's been asking for you. I felt like a bad father for not giving him who he was asking for, so you better visit us here more frequently."

Sky looked incredulous at Hunter’s words, scrunching his nose when his cheek was pinched by the latter.

They went to the living room and sat on the sofa with Clover laying on Sky’s lap. He watched the puppy stare at him with its little tongue hanging out. The little fluffball was calmer than energetic and if Sky was to compare, he would say that Clover was just like him. He was scratching the puppy's fur in silence for a few minutes before Clover decided to move and lay on the sofa instead, getting himself comfortable to sleep.

"Do you wanna watch a movie? Or play with me?"

Sky turned to look at Hunter and saw him holding two video game controllers. His eyes brightened and he immediately took the controller from Hunter’s hand, the older chuckling at his excitement. They played for a few hours, Hunter winning most of the first sets and Sky getting back on him later on. It has been a while since he last played. All he did was study and party. He missed this.

"No, no, no! Ahh, I lost again!" Hunter whined, slumping himself on the sofa while Sky cheered.

"You suck!" The younger stuck his tongue out and giggled. "I'm the best," he murmured with a big smile on his face.

"That's just because I let you win," Hunter argued.

"Nuh-uh," the younger shook his head, determined.

"One more round! I'll show you."

Sky giggled at the older's confidence.

Hunter lost, again.

Sky couldn't stop laughing at him and Hunter was almost offended, if not for the younger looking so pretty laughing recklessly like this.

"I like you."

Sky’s laughter died down when Hunter said that. A part of him was happy to hear him say that because even though he shouldn't, Sky knew he had started catching feelings for the older. Feelings that he shouldn't have in the first place because he was just pretending. He was fooling Hunter just to make himself feel better. He was using Hunter.

But maybe a little more wouldn’t be so bad?

When it seemed like Sky was not going to answer him, Hunter stood up to get the paper bag that he was holding earlier at the mall.

"I lied. I actually bought this for you." Hunter gave him the bag and the younger tilted his head in curiosity.

"For me?" he clarified. Hunter nodded. "I-I didn't buy you anything."

"It's okay, this date was enough."

"D-date?"

Hunter smiled. "I understand if you don't see this as a date yet. I can take you to other places and we can do other things."

"N-no, that's not what I mean," Sky said.

"Then?"

"It's a d-date." Sky felt himself blush.

"You're so cute, it's honestly unfair. Can I call you baby now?"

Hunter took Sky’s silence as a yes and he just smiled. It was really hard not to kiss this baby right now but he'll wait.

Sky cleared his throat to hide his blush and smile.

"C-can I open this now?" Sky asked, referring to the present that Hunter gave him.

"Sure, baby." Sky couldn't help but smile.

As he opened the paper bag, his smile faltered, confusion etching lines across his forehead. Inside the bag was an oversized sweater, pastel pink in color.

"Don’t you like it?" Hunter asked when the younger quietly stared at his gift.

"I-I like it! It's beautiful." Sky was thankful he said that because he was rewarded with a stunning boxy smile from the other.

"I'm glad you do."

Sky sat on his bed, staring at the sweater that Hunter gave him.

He liked the gift, don't get him wrong, but he already decided not to wear such clothes anymore. More than once, he thought of throwing those clothes away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he hid them in the farthest corner of his closet, where no one—even he—would see them. But now, seeing this color made him want to wear it. He wanted to feel pretty again.

For Hunter.

But why? Hunter was not his. It was wrong. Boys should not like other boys.

"Sky?"

The boy immediately took the sweater and hid it behind his back but it was already too late.

"Riley? Y-you're home?"

Riley smiled at him, concern evident on his face. "I already saw it. You can show me."

Sky’s breath stuttered. He lifted the sweater in front of him before pressing it against his chest.

"It’s pretty. Why were you hiding it?"

He gulped. He knew his brother would never hurt him, not with words and certainly not with actions. But no matter how much he reminded himself of that truth, he still couldn’t silence the insecurities stirring inside him. So he didn't answer.

Riley walked toward him and touched his arms. "You know, everybody noticed the changes in you. And not only physically. You've gotten a lot quieter, and you’re always away from home now, when you used to love being indoors more than anything. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Riley, I..." Sky bit his lower lip, the corners of his mouth turning downward. "I've been bad," he confessed.

The weight in his chest had been growing heavier with each passing day, and now, standing face to face with his brother, it felt like he might explode from so much guilt.

Riley sighed before pulling Sky down to sit on the bed with him. "You are never bad, Sky. But how so?"

"I can't say."

"Alright, listen to me. We may be twins but I'm still older than you—"

"By 3 minutes," Sky cut him off.

"Still older than you, brat." He smiled a little. "My point is that I know when you feel sad. I know you don't want to talk about it yet but whenever you're ready, just know that I'm always right here for you. And I will never judge you."

The younger's eyes glistened. He looked at the sweater in his hands. "D-do you think you can wear this?"

"Of course! I don't see why not, but Sky, that is yours. You should wear it some time, you'll look so pretty in it. And again, when you're ready."

How did his brother always know exactly what to say to make him feel better?

"C-can you sleep with me tonight?" Sky asked.

"That's why I'm here, always."

It was at school that Sky finally decided to wear the sweater. He was painfully aware of himself, but he still wanted to try—because he knew Hunter would be so happy to see him in it.

They were in the hallway when Hunter appeared in front of him, and Sky braced himself.

When Hunter saw him, he froze mid-step, staring at him with unmasked adoration. Sky always thought Hunter’s stares were different, they did not make him feel small or ugly.

Before he knew it, he was already enveloped in a hug, feathery kisses raining over his cheeks.

Sky knew he was as red as a tomato now. Had he known this would happen, he would have worn the pink sweater the very next day after Hunter gave it to him. Maybe then, he would have felt Hunter’s kisses sooner.

"You look so adorable!" Hunter squeezed his cheeks. "I could kiss you right now," he added.

Sky’s eyes couldn't get any bigger and Hunter was only seconds away from kissing the cute boy's lips without his permission.

"T-then do it."

Hunter’s eyes widened in surprise. Really, he was not God's strongest soldier. He was so damn weak right now so Riley shouldn't test his limits.

He took the younger's arm, pulling him somewhere private. They ended up in an empty room. Sky was gently pushed against the wall, the other's big hands cupping his cheeks.

Hunter pressed his forehead to Sky’s, his eyes tracing every subtle change in his expression.

"Are you sure?" His voice was soft and warm, like the ocean in summer—calm and inviting. As if making sure that Sky didn’t feel pressured to say yes just because Hunter wanted it.

Sky felt his breathing ragged, something flowery was blooming in his chest and he felt like crying. The older was always so gentle with him and it made him want to melt in his embrace.

Sky never desired something—or someone, for that matter—so bad.

'Boys shouldn't kiss other boys, it's disgusting.'

Sky didn't care anymore. He already broke the first rule—he liked a boy and he was already disgusting.

But Hunter said he liked him too, so maybe they could be disgusting together.

Sky nodded, his own hands coming up to hold Hunter’s cheeks.

"I'm sure," was the last thing that he said before he felt Hunter’s soft lips touching his.

The kiss was slow, passionate. All his guilt was pushed aside and all the pleasant feelings surged forward. He felt like he owned the world—no one could control him and his feelings. He let Hunter lead the kiss. There was no tongue involved, just their lips fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Sky never desired something this much, but dear God, he wanted Hunter.

When they parted, Sky didn't stop himself from saying the words his heart has been yearning to say.

"I like you, Hunter."

"I like you too, Riley."

Sky felt his heart break just before Hunter’s lips found his again.

Learning to love Hunter was not hard. It just happened on its own. They went on dates, they had conversations Sky never thought he will have with someone, they hugged, and they kissed.

Hunter was a sweetheart.

He always took time to be with Sky even if their schedules clashed. He introduced Sky to new and different kinds of feelings—pleasant feelings. Feelings that made him want to keep holding on.

Because learning to love Hunter was not hard, but loving him was. It was painful, especially whenever Hunter smiled at him, telling him how much he likes him yet saying a different name. When Hunter was looking at him but not really seeing him.

Then Sky realized that loving Hunter was not hard as well. Pretending to be someone he was not just to love Hunter was. He was the one who was bringing pain to himself because he hoped that maybe, if he loved Hunter as Sky, then Hunter would love him as Sky too.

But Hunter was observant. And he learned what Riley liked before he met Sky, thus giving him presents that Riley would enjoy. And it all served as a reminder of what he couldn’t have.

It was inevitable for Hunter and Riley to cross paths sometimes, but Sky prevented that from happening every single time. He was sure that the two wouldn’t meet because if he weren’t with Hunter, then he was with Riley. He never let his guard down, unless they were at home.

It was exhausting. He was not only fooling himself, but he was also fooling Hunter and his brother.

Sky knew how selfish he was being. And his selfishness will soon lead to hurting the people he loves.

Three weeks into their relationship, while he and Rilet were out on a date in a restaurant, Sky heard his voice.

"Hunter?" Goosebumps erupted on Sky’s skin and it felt like his heart fell on his stomach.

That was Riley’s voice.

Hunter looked at the owner of the voice and the smile on his lips fell. Shock painted his face. He looked back at Sky and that shock was enveloped with confusion.

"Riley?" Hunter whispered softly, almost to himself.

"Hey, how are you? I see you're with someone." There was a lilt of teasing in Riley’s voice but that changed into a gasp when he saw Sky.

"Sky?"

"S-Sky!" Sky shouted at the same time his brother said his name.

Riley looked puzzled because why was Sky calling him by his own name?

"Huh? Why are you calling me that?" He turned to look at Hunter who stayed quiet. "I see you already met my brother?"

"Um, S-Sky, let's talk later, okay?" Sky stood up to pull Rikey away but Hunter stopped them. He stood as well, abruptly so that his chair fell back.

"Who are you?" He asked, looking at Riley. His eyes showed something close to confusion and frustration mixed together.

"It's me, Riley," Riley answered.

"Then who are you?" Hunter’s voice was filled with fury when he turned to Sky, he sounded so angry that Sky flinched.

He looked down, hiding his face while trying to stop the threatening tears in his eyes from falling.

"Answer me!"

A sob left his mouth and he felt his brother hold him.

"H-Hunter, calm down. Let's talk outside, shall we? People are looking," Riley begged in a hushed tone.

Hunter looked around and indeed, people were looking at them. He walked and left the restaurant in a hurry and the two followed him while Riley was trying to calm the still crying Sky in his arms. When they were finally in the parking lot where there were fewer people, Hunter stopped walking and faced the twins.

"Who did I fall in love with?" was the first thing he asked.

Sky stayed silent. He'd be lying again if he said that it was him.

"You fell in love with Sky here," Rikey answered and Sky turned his head to look at him with wide eyes.

"N-no," he said weakly, a lump in his throat. "It was Riley."

Riley looked confused at what he was saying but he continued anyway. "He was the one you met first."

He didn't want Hunter to be confused anymore so now that the truth was out, he wanted to forget about his own pain. Because Hunter’s pain mattered so much more.

Hunter let out a harsh laugh, palm rubbing his head in frustration.

"If you don't like me, then you could have just said so. I know that I was persistent but I would have stopped anyway if that's what you really wanted. Why did you two have to play me like this?"

"I-I didn't mean to. I can explain—" Sky tried but Hunter cut him off.

"So that you can lie to me again?!" He looked at Riley before turning his eyes to look at Sky, shaking his head in disbelief. "Let's not see each other again."

"No, wait! Hunter, let me explain please!" He tried to touch Hunter but he was pushed off.

"Hunter, please! I'm sorry!"

But Hunter already left in his car, leaving Sky sobbing in his brother's arms.

"What happened, Sky? Why did you lie?" Riley asked when they got home. "Why did you pretend to be me?!"

"I didn't m-mean to do that."

"But you did! Sky, you fooled someone! I thought you knew better than that!"

"I know, a-and I'm sorry,” he sobbed.

The door opened and their parents entered.

"What's happening here?" Their motehr asked, confused more than concerned.

"Why don't you ask Sky?" Riley said and all the attention went to him. He didn't like their stares. It was uncomfortable.

"Sky?" their father asked.

"I-I'm sorry," he cried.

"No, Sky. We're asking you what you did," their mother said, her voice strict.

"I l-lied," he answered, breath coming in short puffs. "I lied to Hunter. I pretended to be Riley. I lied to him."

"What? Who is Hunter and why did you pretend? Sky, you didn't have to pretend to be someone else," their father said but Sky shook his head.

His words were hard to believe.

"No, no you don't understand. I have to."

"Sky, you don't—"

"I HAVE TO!" He screamed and everyone fell silent.

Sky was crying so bad, he was choking. His eyes were already swollen but tears didn't stop flowing from them. He was panicking because he never felt this hurt before. He was overwhelmed. It felt like he was going to explode, and he didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t want to look pathetic. But everything was just too much.

"I was weird!" he started. "I liked guys when I shouldn't, and I'm useless. Why shouldn't I change and be like Riley? You said it yourself, you regret having me as your kid!" He breathed in and out so fast. He felt lightheaded.

"I shouldn't have been born," he mumbled.

"Sky, no. That's not true—"

"It's true! And I know you think that too. I saw how you looked at me." He looked at his parents and even though his tears blurred his eyes, it still hurt seeing them. "I remember everything. Every word you both shouted when you were fighting. And I'm sorry that I disappoint you. I'm sorry that I can't be better. I-I'm sorry that I'm not like Riley. I didn't ask to be born like this."

"Do you honestly believe that, Sky?" Riley asked him, tears already flowing from his eyes because it hurts to know that, all this time, his twin felt and thought of himself like this. And he couldn't do anything to help him feel better.

"Why shouldn't I? No one liked me when I was being true to myself! I had to be like you to be liked by someone. But I can never be like you, Ry. Whatever you do, you're always the best. You're the better twin. You never disappoint, unlike me. I was weird and it's my fault that our family is breaking apart."

"We're not breaking apart—”

"We are!" He sobbed, knees going weak so he slumped on the floor. Riley was quick to catch him while their parents surrounded him.

"Riley, we're falling apart. Mom and dad are always fighting and it scares me because that never happened before. I don't want to stay home because they always say mean words. They don't love each other anymore! They don't love me anymore! So why wouldn't I pretend to be someone I'm not just to feel loved by other people?"

He looked at his parents, his voice going faint from too much crying. "I endured everything because I wanted your love. I wanted you to look at me again like you're proud of me. Like I do not bring shame to this family. But you are so mean! You wouldn't give that to me."

Everyone tried to comfort him but Sky needed air more than their touch now, so he pushed them away.

He looked at his mom who had guilt in her eyes, her face filled with tears.

"I'm gay, mom. And I'm sorry for turning out like this. I really tried not to but I fell in love with a man, even if it was wrong and disgusting. I never wanted anything so bad, but I want him, mom. And he wanted me too! Even though he thought I was Riley, he wanted me. And he's gone now. He doesn't love me anymore too. No one loves me anymore."

"I'm sorry you felt that way, Sky. But that's not true. Please believe me. We love you. Mom loves you so much." She tried to hug him but he pushed her off, trying to escape and locking himself in his brother’s arms again.

"Riley..." he sobbed and Riley tightened the hug.

"It hurts, Ry. It hurts."

They waited for him to calm down. Riley never let him go and when it seemed like Sky’s breathing was back to normal again, they tried to approach the subject. They knew that they shouldn't leave it for so long or else Sky would believe that everything he said was true. None of them were.

"Sky, can you please listen to me?" Their mother’s words came light and soft, it was almost as if she was the woman she used to be. The woman who loved Sky dearly.

"I’m sorry for everything, especially for the mean words I said before. I was just angry at that time and I know that it was wrong. It will not happen again. Please forgive Mom." Sky’s eyes glistened and a new set of tears blurred his sight. "None of them were true, Sky. Mom loves you. I never stopped loving your dad, I never stopped loving you."

"Dad is sorry as well. You shouldn't feel pressured. You shouldn't be insecure and feel the need to change because we love you as you are. We love Sky—our baby who loves kissing our cheeks every chance he gets. Our baby who loves cute clothes that make him feel pretty even though he's already pretty no matter what he wears. Our baby who didn't like going out because he was shy. And we don't care if you like boys, because that doesn't make you any less of who you are. We were just worried about how you would feel about what other people would think of you. What's important is that you're happy, and we're sorry that you were in pain because of us instead."

"You know that I love you a lot, right?" Riley feels the youngest nod. "You know what, let me tell you a secret."

Sky looked at him with his red puffy eyes and the sight of it hurt them all.

"I used to be envious of you. You are so talented, you're good at singing and dancing. In fact, you can do anything you want if you set your mind to it. Most of our relatives praised you every time because you do everything so well that they think you'll be more successful than me," Riley started.

"T-that's not true."

Riley chuckled. "It's true. And I know that you don’t like Medicine.”

Sky stayed quiet, guilty because it was true. He never liked Medicine. It made him want to pull on his hair.

”Let me tell you a story. Dad once forced me to take up business management so that I can inherit the business since I'm older—"

"By 3 minutes," Sky chimed in.

"Brat, get over it. Even if it's just by 3 minutes, I'm still older than you."

A small smile tugged at Sky’s lips. He liked being younger anyway, but Riley didn’t need to know that.

"Anyways, I chose medicine because that's my passion. I didn't do what dad said just because he thinks that the business is more important than my dreams.”

Sky looked shocked at that and a small "Sorry" was heard from their dad. Riley nodded at their dad as if saying that it was all forgiven.

“See? Don’t let pressure dictate you and your choices because that will only make you miserable," his brother continued. "And one more thing, what’s wrong with being gay? I am bisexual myself and I don’t think that’s disgusting.”

”Y-you’re bisexual? You?” Sky scanned him up and down.

”What? Just because I like black-”

”So much. Are you an emo?” Sky interrupted again. Rikey glared at him because of that so Sky just shut his mouth.

“As I was saying, just because I like black doesn’t mean I don’t like sucking dicks too.”

Sky’s cheeks reddened while their parents cleared their throats.

”I don’t think that’s appropriate to say when your parents are here, and also given the situation,” their father said.

”Nah, dad. You’ll want to know in the future anyway. And to answer you in advance, I think Sky is a bottom.”

”We don’t need you saying that, but I agree,” their mom muttered with a nod.

“Um,” Sky tilted his head to look at all of them one by one. “What’s a bottom? Why am I one?”

The three stared at him with amused faces before he was smooshed in their embraces.

“Our innocent baby!”

Sky was wrong. He was loved. And who was Sky to not forgive the people that loved him?

“You should talk to Hunter. He deserves an explanation as well,” Riley said and he agreed.

"And by the way, don't get mad at me when you get to talk to him. I love you, I’m just stupid sometimes," he added.

Sky was puzzled.

It was hard to find Hunter after that day.

Sky thought that he was being avoided. But the desire to explain and maybe make Hunter feel better pushed Sky to not give up on hunting him down.

One week with no Hunter around and the younger was almost sure that the older never wanted to see him ever again.

Sky was currently walking away from the clubs. He had gone with his brother tonight, hoping to bump into Hunter there like the first time they met, but to no avail. He stopped by the dancing fountain, watching the colors change.

He started wearing pastels again. Sometimes, he still felt insecure when he caught someone looking at him, though for the most part, he felt good. He would have felt better if Hunter could see him. Perhaps, he would squeeze him in his arms, hugging him tightly while squealing at how cute he looked before peppering his face with kisses.

He sighed. He missed Hunter so much.

A man walked beside him, pausing to watch the fountain as well. Sky did not turn to look at him but his voice alone was enough for him to recognize the man.

”I’ll take it you’re Sky?”

Sky’s head snapped to look at the man beside him. "H-Hunter…”

The older sighed before letting out a tiny smile.

”You look pretty,” he said.

Sky played with his fingers, gulping. “C-can we talk? Please?”

The other nodded and Sky almost jumped in joy.

”Y-yes, I’m Sky. I know that I hurt you and I’m sorry. I lied to you about who I am but please believe me when I say that I truly loved you. I still do. And if you give me a chance, I will correct everything. I will never lie to you again. I will tell you everything, no secrets," Sky stated, looking at the other's expressions in case he unknowingly said something that might upset him.

When the older nodded for him to go on, he did.

"I know that… that it was not me who you thought you loved but we can be friends if that's okay with you." Sky bit his lip. "I-I will also understand if you don’t forgive me.”

”I forgive you.”

Sky’s eyes widened. “W-what?”

”Sky, it was not entirely your fault. I realized that you were trying to tell me before that you’re not Riley—that you’re Sky—but I didn’t believe you and after a long time of thinking, I finally understand. It was partly my fault too, I was stupid. I didn’t know that you have a twin,” Hunter said.

“You’re not stupid.” Sky scowled but Hunter only chuckled.

”Other people would have figured it out already after a few meetings but I didn’t.”

”Not because you’re stupid, you just didn’t know that there was more than one Riley,” Sky argued.

“How about I tell you a story?” Hunter said and Sky was confused. A story? ”Of how I fell in love,” Hunter continued and the frown on Sky’s forehead softened.

"I remember it all so clearly. It was a sunny morning that day but I was feeling down because my grandmother had just passed away. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone so I left home for a while and walked to a park. I think luck was on my side because there were like only three people there at that time. I was sitting alone on a bench when a cute boy suddenly sat beside me. Maybe he felt that I was lonely so he decided to join me. He offered me his drink—a banana milk—and at first, I thought it was childish but when I saw the boy and his pastel shirt, I thought banana milk suited that boy. He looked so soft and shy and yet, he decided to approach me. He told me that banana milk makes him feel better whenever he is upset so maybe it can help me too. And he was stuttering so hard while telling me that, it was so cute. If only he knew that he was the one who brightened up my day and not his banana milk.”

Sky was frozen. W-was that me?

“After that day, I followed that cute guy everywhere. I wanted to talk to him but he looked so shy and I was a coward so I couldn’t even go near him. I just observed from afar. I learned that he liked singing and dancing a lot and he was always in the music room. He also brings a book around so that he can read in his free time. He liked banana milkshakes but that’s already given.”

T-that was me too. Tears threatened to roll off his eyes but he was quick to wipe them away.

”Then the next time I saw him, he was wearing all black so I thought he liked to change aesthetics. He looks good in anything, yet there’s something about pastels that just stands out. I learned that he likes to party when his schedule is not tight. He likes to drink and dance with people. He’s studying medicine and he has a lot of friends. Then I learned that his name was Riley,” Hunter said.

Sky’s shoulder dropped.

“But what I didn’t know was that there was more than one person who has that face. I approached Riley when I finally had the courage and he was nice. When I gave him a banana milkshake, he said he liked chocolate milkshake more. I tried to tell him that I like him and how I met him but he kept on saying that he was not who I was talking about. I thought he just didn’t want to talk to me so I didn’t believe him. I was persistent. I wanted him to like me back. Until I met someone else at the club, he looks exactly the same as Riley to the point that I thought they were the same person. And when he told me that he was not the person who I thought he was, I thought he’s lying again just to make me leave.”

This was a confusing plot.

”I didn’t think I could fall even harder for someone. But how could I not when he liked playing video games with me? When he loves dogs as much as I do? When he looks so good in the pink sweater that I gave him and I was enamored? When he can keep up with my clinginess? When he laughs at my jokes even though they are not funny sometimes? How can I not fall in love harder when he loves me just as hard?”

Hunter wiped Sky’s tears, gently rubbing his fingers on his soft skin.

”So I think you’re mistaken because it’s not Riley my heart belongs to. I might have hurt him before for always calling him the wrong name but…”

Hunter pressed their foreheads together, their noses brushing against each other.

”It’s you, Sky. It’s always been you.”