Irregular Identity

One moment in annihilation’s waste,

One moment, of the well of life to taste–

The stars are setting, and the caravan

Starts for the dawn of nothing – oh, make haste!

- Omar Khayyam

His shadow was a lean, gaunt creature, much like it’s generator, with an insatiable appetite. It’s a scary thing when need and gratification mean the same thing, overlapping each other in an unending double helix.

He was sitting on a bed, in a room, in a house.

It didn’t matter where he was. Since remembering A..and then seeing him he had stopped caring where he stayed. A depth charge hit him, and he shuddered, his chest feeling like it would burst.

He had tried to run away... But he wasn't always himself.

As he sat in the light of his bed lamp, book in front of him unread, his eyes scanned the room almost unconsciously.

For three months he had slept in this spare room, a makeshift storeroom for all the family’s belongings that wouldn’t fit anywhere else. Boxes contained birthday and wedding gifts, books, trinkets, and some of the son Jake’s DJ equipment.

His shadow was getting fatter again. He looked over at the two, empty, jumbo sized marshmallow packets and shuddered.

For him, subjugation of gratification had become an alien and frightening prospect..It was the only thing that kept them away... but it was getting closer... and that bastard Urio at work had hog tied him with an assistant who now handled all the money....

His jaw started aching, the cavities in his molars squealing like (the sound of a drill)rubber. He took six AdCoDol, then just to be safe took two more.

There were only three left.

He needed more.

A went to the same pub every Friday night. He needed to kill him soon. He hoped he was strong enough.

A bee buzzed down onto his hand.

‘Nooo!’ he yelped

Immediately, he slammed it to the ground, squashing it, adrenaline flooding his body. He flung the covers over his head.

The phone woke Ewan in the dark. He knew who it was and what it was about before she spoke. This man in his dream had gone missing.