Chapter 1
Nothing could have prepared me for that.
As I watch the love of my life passionately kiss my best friend I was fiercely brought back to reality.
A reality that I would always be that girl.
The girl in the background wishing to be picked but never picked.
And fuck did that hurt.
I take a long deep breath trying to piece out why he would do this to me. He was supposed to love me forever, what happened to that?
The pain consumed me as I frantically tried to hold in the tears that desperately want to escape.
It felt as if he was viciously stabbing my heart with mini needles before slowly ripping it out piece by piece leaving me there to die. It was like I was nothing. I was replaceable.
With all my strength I force myself to turn around. I couldn’t bear to watch it any longer.
And to think that I was foolish enough to believe him when he said that he loved me.
The pain surrounds me penetrating through my lungs and stealing every bit of sweet air from me. It felt as if I was losing a fight that I was never meant to win. That I was destined to lose from the start.
I guess this is what it feels like to be madly in love with someone who any viewed you as a toy.
A part of me wishes that this was some sort of twisted game that my eyes are playing on me. And that soon I’d wake up in his warm embrace to feel like I was at home again.
But I was wrong.
This nightmare that I was once dreaming of had quickly become my reality. And that numb feeling thats buried in the bit of my stomach is slowly taking over until every part of me has been consumed by it.
With every ounce of strength that I could muster up I walk away, my knees threatening to buckle under me. I try to take a deep breath without feeling the pain squeezing my lungs, but I only fail.
“Elenor?” His once sweet voice fills the air around me taking me by surprise. Why do I have to love him? Why does he have to be the one that owns my heart?
“What?”
And just like that the tears that I desperately was trying to hold came rushing down my face burning me. He drifts closer to me gently lifting my chin to meet his sweet-eyes before softly wiping away the tears. His thumb lightly moves down my face caressing my lower lip
His soft touch sends Electric tingles all throughout my body making me realize just how much I had fallen for him. He was my home; my comfort and I hate how I gave him all this power.
I should have known someone like him wouldn’t like someone like me.
His hand slowly wanders down my body before intertwining with my hand. I take a long deep breath taking in every sensation his touch left me.
“I wish loving you didn’t have to hurt.” tears drip down my face as soon all the sadness slowly turns into anger “Oh how I wish I could just hate you for everything that you have done but-” I take another deep breath trying to search for his-sweet eyes, but they were gone.
“But I can’t.No matter how much you hurt me I can’t seem to let you go.”
And that’s when something clicked-
I would always be good enough to play with but never good enough to date.
I would remain the side character just hoping at a chance to be the main character
And no matter how much I want to be his I knew I would never be his.
And damn did that hurt to admit.
I wish I didn’thave to love him, oh how I wish I could just leave. But saying goodbye would hurt too much and I knew I'm not ready for that.
