Chapter 1
WASHINGTON
POWER RANKING - TIED #6
Along the Washington Coast.
ABOUT WASHINGTON
Alright, are you thinking about moving to Washington? Oh, good for you! Just know you’re signing up for a constant game of, “Wow, this place is beautiful,” mixed with, “What am I even doing here?” It’s like dating someone hot who’s also a little bit crazy. You love looking at them, but now and then, you’re like, “Should I be worried?”
First off, let’s talk about the weather. Rain. All day, every day. Not the cool, dramatic kind, either. No, it’s more like someone is lightly misting you with a spray bottle. And it’s got so many names—drizzle, mist, spritz. It’s raining, people! But the best part? The locals will tell you, “You don’t need an umbrella. Real Washingtonians just get wet.” Real Washingtonians also look like soggy hikers 24/7, so thanks, but I’ll stick with the umbrella.
Oh, the traffic! Do you think LA’s bad? Washington traffic is like watching paint dry, but slower and with worse weather. Every commute feels like you’re in an endless audition for Mad Max: The Wet and Mild Edition. You’ll sit there for hours, contemplating life, love, and why you ever thought moving here was a good idea.
But hey, the scenery is top-notch! I’ll give you that. You’ve got mountains, forests, and water everywhere. It’s like a Bob Ross painting, except, you know, real. And let’s not forget the coffee. These people don’t just drink it—they worship it. Coffee here isn’t a beverage; it’s a lifestyle. You’ll see people lined up at Starbucks like it’s their morning pilgrimage, all while pretending they’re too cool for Starbucks.
Now, people in Washington? They’re friendly... ish. There’s this thing called the “Seattle Freeze.” Oh, they’ll smile at you, maybe nod, but don’t expect an invite to their house anytime 66
soon. It’s like living in a nature documentary where all the animals are polite but won’t let you get close. They’ll wave from afar like, “Hey, how ya doing? Now stay over there.”
Historically, Washington thinks of itself as the cool kid in class. It’s home to Microsoft, Starbucks, and Amazon, meaning the state has been setting trends forever. And why wouldn’t it? Seattle’s got that misty, overcast vibe that screams, “Let’s sit inside and invent something world-changing.” Plus, cheap hydroelectric power from the Columbia River. How else are you gonna power all those tech nerds and their fancy gadgets?
Speaking of which, Boeing set up shop here back in the day because of all that cheap power. They were cranking out planes left and right during World War II, and suddenly, Seattle’s like, “Hey, we’re more than just lumberjacks and grunge music.” And don’t even get me started on the gold rush. Seattle practically invented the get-rich-quick scheme, thanks to the Klondike gold rush. Now we’ve got Amazon, which is modern-day gold mining, except you don’t need a pickaxe—just two-day shipping.
And let’s not forget the government’s little hydroelectric projects. Thanks to the Bonneville and Grand Coulee dams, Washington was built on a ton of cheap electricity. FDR loved the idea and said, “Let’s make Washington the powerhouse of the country.” Thanks to that, they had all this power to build planes and, oh yeah, nukes! The Hanford Site? Yeah, that’s where they made plutonium for nuclear bombs. No biggie. They’re trying to clean it up, but there’s no rush, right?
So, yeah, Washington. It’s gorgeous, but it’s like living in a postcard where it’s always raining, and the traffic never ends. But if you love tech jobs, coffee, and pretending the drizzle isn’t ruining your life, you’ll fit right in!
VITAL STATISTICS
Nickname: Washington is often called “The Evergreen State” due to its lush greenery and abundant forests.
Joined Union: Washington became the 42nd state in the United States on November 11, 1889.
Size: Washington covers approximately 71,362 square miles, making it the country’s 18th largest state by land area.
Ethnicity:
White: Approximately 75-77% of Washington’s population identifies as White.Hispanic or Latino: Around 12-14% of the population in Washington identifies as Hispanic or Latino.Asian: Approximately 9-11% of Washingtonians are of Asian descent.Black or African American: The Black or African American population constitutes about 4-6% of the state’s residents.
College Grads:
Bachelor’s degree: Roughly 34-37% of Washingtonians aged 25 and older hold a bachelor’s degree.
Master’s degree: Approximately 14-16% of the same age group have earned a master’s degree.
GROWTH OF THE STATE
Population: According to the most recent estimates, Washington has a population of over 7.9 million, making it the 13th most populous state in the U.S.
HIGH CRIME AREAS
WARNING: From 2018-2023, the cities of Seattle and Tacoma have been in the FBI UCR top 25 for at least 3 of those years
Cities with crime rate over the National Average: According to the FBI UCR data, in 2022, among Washington cities with a population of at least 10K,
Seattle suburb Tukwila had the highest Total Crime Rate per 100K residents (20,784.24)
Tacoma suburb Fife (13,798.17),
Burlington (11,789.54),
Tacoma (10,260.38),
Tacoma suburb Puyallup (7,740.72)
National Average (2500)
