What is your opinion?
Enjoyable story
"This story is well-written, an unusual take on a post-apocalyptic world. It was easy to immerse in the world, and the details were well placed to make it more vivid. I particularly loved the tone of the story. Marlia's voice was distinct and fit the story perfectly."
A review
"First of all, I came across this because you won the contest. So I decided to read it myself. I have to say, your story is really impressive so far and I honestly can say that I have never read anything as good as the famous modern authors we have today, like J.K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Susanne Collins, Chris Colfer, Ally Condie, Lois Lowry and etc. Your genre didn't really suit me right, but your writing ability is very very impressive to the extent that I can say it is a really really good story so far. The title is very interesting and I got really absorbed into it when I was supposed to do something really important! It was so difficult to drag myself off your story because it is really good! Your characters are original (in my opinion), the thinking of the people is fresh, done in a way that does not feel modern or in the old times, but a mix. Like how the shadow took her. (I forgot that part if it's wrong!) I really hope you become an author one day. Or if you already are then great! Because you really would deserve or do deserve it! Your story is really good. I cannot find another way to describe it. That's how good it is!"
Incredible
"When I first began to read this story, I wasn't sure what it was suppose to be about or why it was classified as science fiction. But I was already hooked. I had to keep reading. This story was very special. First, the writing was very well done. You read from the perspective of the main character Marlia, but the writing style is done in a way that allows the reader to understand much more than just her point of view. I think everyone should read this story. The plot just gives so much meaning to humankind in general, that I think everyone can relate in some way to this story. Incredible read."
Engaging and Imaginative!
"This easily grabbed my attention from the very start, and I read it all in one sitting. You quickly established Marlia as a strong and consistent character, which lent itself well to your use of first person POV. There are times when first person can be a bit jarring, and clash with the tone of the story, and I'm glad to say I felt none of that in your piece. While Marlia was solid, there were a few moments where I wished some of your supporting characters were equally fleshed out. It's clear Marlia has strong relationships with her family, friends, and the village as a whole, but as a reader I didn't feel as though the emotional connections were as defined as they could have been. I really wanted to feel the shock, sadness, and even acceptance that all took place during and after The Picking. The world you've built was extremely interesting, and with each new chapter I looked forward to the bits and pieces that you continued to reveal. I particularly enjoyed your use of the idea that history and civilization will continue to repeat itself, and how it was tied into the tradition of The Picking. When I started reading, I wasn't aware that this was a contest entry, and so I became pleasantly surprised by the seamless transition from what I had thought to be a subtle fantasy setting, to what could easily be a futuristic version of our own world. There were a few grammar/punctuation and phrasing issues that threw me off, but nothing major enough to ruin the story's flow as a whole. Overall, this was really well done!"
Great story!
"I was enthralled throughout the whole story. It was really great. From the very beginning I wanted to know more. In big ways, it shows human flaws for what they really are and conveys the danger in greed. Except for a few typeos the writing style was great. I would definitely read more by this author."
The Mythic Journey
"This fantasy epic reads like a cross between a South American folk legend and The Hobbit.. The former, because the story is steeped in the ancient myths and beliefs that sustain a remarkable group of people who live high above the forest floor; the latter, as it concerns the quest of someone small and seemingly insignificant--the young girl, Marlia--as she prepares to undertake the "Awakening," the ceremony for all girls who come of age in her culture. Yet this ritual becomes a mythic quest in itself, as she undertakes the "hero's journey" in the dangerous world of the forest, encountering powers far beyond her years and comprehension. I think the author does a marvelous job balancing world building (this world has to seem ancient and its customs plausible) with contemporary story-telling, so that you never think "oh, she's trying to show us why they do this, etc." The writing itself is a pleasure to read, as it paints a picture of the world yet never draws attention to itself with archaic expressions that might sound 'authentic' for this tribe. My only real critique was a passage where she had a character speak in dialect, which came off awkwardly and not as convincing. It sounded more like an old sailor or pirate thrown into this timeless world, and for that stretch it took me out of it. This small lapse aside, this is powerful storytelling that could easily sustain a 300 + page novel without flagging. It's an exciting world and I think any lover of fantasy, particularly one with a yen for myth and legend, would particularly enjoy it."
Emotionally very intelligent!
"A perfect example of the strengths of female fiction! Yes... I suppose only a lady can relate so well to the affections of her character and capture the conveying sensations without trolling us with dry explanations. You can call me an idiot now, but I am not popular anyway ^_^. Congratulations on 1st place!"
A hopeful vision
"In simple terms, this Planet of the Apes type story is well told and has moments of pure genius. The story is engaging and relatable and, despite its setting in a presumed earth future, it almost reads like a story that could have been set in prehistory. The main character and her journey follows the regular hero's journey route to great effect and the hopeful tone that the story ends on was rather refreshing despite the fact that it was treading on well-worn ground. The story itself was relatively well presented but I must admit that I was surprised that the location in which the vast majority of it was set didn't really seal itself in my mind. I had trouble visualising it and that ultimately caused me to have moments where I almost gave up reading it. I say it quite often but I think in this case this advice would really push this story over the edge in to a perfect score territory - humans perceive the world with five senses and we should really have our stories presented as such. This story was wonderfully crafted (almost masterful in fact) in terms of the visuals. But that is only one of our senses. The little we heard from sounds was usually related to dialogue and not the world around the characters. Again, with smell there was only one mention and that was in relation to one character smelling another... What about taste and the touch of the air or the leaves? In some cases and stories you can get away with not mentioning things in large amounts. But when you're trying to build a vivid world like the one you have here, the absence of those details make a real impact. As the saying goes, God is in the details. If everything is about building a vivid image in your mind, it runs the risk of making it seem less real because your mind is desperate to fill in the bits from other senses and can't find any data to use. That being said, I could find no flaw with your characterisation or dialogue. Occasionally the pace fluctuated between moments of quite high and low intensity but I think you just about got away with it. A beautiful story that is very believable and real. Now the task is to make the world just as real..."
