Limerence

3 Years ago:

'Could this day get any worse?' I thought to myself glumly as I scrubbed down the dirty basin of our cafe. It was midnight, I worked my ass off into pleasing Mrs. Knight to give me that raise I oh so desperately needed, of course that included picking up his son from school, buying her groceries and doing a bunch of other stuff in the cafe which would normally take a lot more money than I requested for.

But who am I to complain? I wanted that money, No! correction, I needed that money. 30,900...the money I needed and the money which I had? well, not close to it, but close enough to earn in 2 years if I continued taking those low paying measly jobs.

'Sulking would do you no good', My hands had gotten blisters, my feet ached so much and my back hurts like a bitch. One more hour here and you'll have to scrub me off of the floor.

With a sigh, I Picked up the broom and the tub of suds and poured it all in the sink. I couldn't believe what my life had turned out to be. I mean, not to pity myself but I had too much potential to let it all go to waste in this cafe if you would call it that.

With it's worn over wallpaper and run down thrifted chairs, it looked more like an abandoned roadside stand than a fully functioning cafe. But the real reason customers even come here, is because of Pam's muffins, something I swear she learned off of those French baking channels she binge watched all day although she claims to have invented it own her own.

Tidying up took merely 15 minutes and then I grabbed my bag off of the counter, that poor thing was barely surviving on the thread I sewed borrowing from Pam.

I locked up the front door and went to stand on the sidewalk. Tucking my hands inside worn out coat, I looking upon the star filled sky, I sighed and wondered how all this darkness yet they shined amongst it the brightest, could I be that one day? Or has the darkness consumed me too much?

With a resigned shake of my head I started my half hour walk to my home, it was eerily silent at this time of the night and aside from a few people occupying the benches and a dog by the corner of the cafe, it was relatively empty.

Consumed in my thoughts, I didn't realize that I had gotten home. Home? Does that even mean something? I was out this late and no one cared enough to check up on me, albeit this is my usual time of coming home, still...a little concern would have been fine.

At least from my mother, my sister and father were a different case. Neither of them cared about anyone except for themselves, one was too busy humping her boyfriend and the other couldn't care enough to get his head out of alcohol to look at the outside world, I don't remember the last time I saw him sober, It was always something different, alcohol from his friends at the club, marijuana from his co-worker, weed from the neighbour's garden.

My mother and him always fought over this stuff. First time he got home hammered she cried and begged him to stop. The second time she got angry at him on the first day and the next she once again begged him to choose her over drugs. The third...she simply accepted her faith and choose not to interfere. Slowly they started drifting apart, her stuff moved out of their room and then so did she.

Now they are just two people forced to live together. With a mental preparation I forced down the bile rising up my throat at the though of facing yet another of their fights and slowly crept inside the door.

It creaked open as I got in, avoiding the spot on the wooden floor that made an awfully loud sound. Shutting the door behind me I pulled my coat off and hanged it on the iron nail on the side of the door, a makeshift coat hanger which I placed there.

The room was surrounded in darkness and no noise was coming from upstairs. My mother would probably be watching TV and the other two residing members of the family were out. A smile broke on my face at that thought, 'Finally a peaceful night without all the bickering'.

All air escaped my lungs as the TV turned on from behind me. Gulping and trying to salivate my parched throat, I turned around, wishing that it was just my mother who decided to wander downstairs from her confinement of a room, or even my sister, anyone...just please not him.

"Whored around enough eh?", the drunk voice of my father called out, the words stung, but it was something I had gotten used to now. Every time I came home late he would ask this same question. It hurt that my father thought so lowly of me but they were just words, as long as they were verbal I was content with it...well, as content as you can get with verbal abuse.

I wasn't sure what he had taken this time, but it was apparent that it was a lot stronger than alcohol.

His hand was trembling, eyes were red rimmed, the pupils were dilated, and judging from the white lines on the table... it was a drug. This is a game I played with myself, it was called, 'What is the addiction tonight'. It helped me to be calm. It helped me to gather time on how to react.

Drunk him required constant pestering, drugged him required silence, no talkbacks and god forbid an answer to something he asked himself.

I took too long to answer because the next moment I was dragged by my pony tail, neck craned at an awful angle, my scalp burned due to the force, but I remained silent. I know better than to speak at this moment, 'He won't hurt me', I was sure of that...or was I? He never has before, but what's stopping him? Literally nothing.

"Answer me bitch or did that scum made your throat too raw", I wanted to scream at him that...ehh how would it even matter, he's not gonna listen to a word I say. I tried to pry his hands off but it was in vain, he's a lot stronger than me, and yes that is a surprise as the only thing that goes into his body is drugs, alcohol and more drugs. so...I remained still, a few more jerks and he was done with me.

When I didn't answer he soon turned bored of me, releasing a bitter and nasty smell from his mouth he pushed me towards the wall and with a thud I slumped back against the wall. The sound of his retreating footsteps echoed in the empty house, my chin quivered and the back of my eyes burned with unshed tears.

'No! I am not gonna cry', I rubbed my eyes and stood up. My body exhausted from the reminder of the day, I was mentally and physically tired, tired from being the only sane person in this family, tired of wishing that things would go back to normal. I was just...tired.

Climbing up the stairs took a lot of efforts, and once I did, without bothering to get out of my jeans and flannel tshirt, I climbed onto my mattress, and welcomed the sleep.

Wishing that somehow, I could get out of this hell hole.

How was the first chapter? I hope you all liked it, hang in there, this is just a start. The story of Ari is only starting. There are gonna be many twist and turns so come with me on this rollercoaster story. Please like, comment and do remember to follow me.

XOXO.