Grown Up

We were kids. Things seems simpler then. We didn’t know what was happening around us or what would happen when we eventually found out. We thought it would last forever. Until it didn’t. Our worlds changed overnight and suddenly my best friend became a memory.

I tried to remember them as I listened in on a rare phone call my mom was having. She didn’t get out much and it felt strange to have her talking to someone who wasn’t me. She seemed worried, now relieved. She was agreeing to something. I wondered how much this phone call was going to upset our lives. I should have been more prepared.

“Who was that?” I asked as she put the phone down.

“That was Janet Baker.” She told me. “Remember? Elliot’s mom.”

I nodded even though the memory was hazy.

“I haven’t heard from her in a while. It seems she’s not doing very well and has asked from some help… it can’t have been easy for her.”

“What did she want?” I was getting impatient.

“She’s going away for a while, and she asked that Elliot stay with us for a while. Won’t that be nice?” she smiled but I could tell something was troubling her.

“For how long?” I asked, dreading the answer.

“Just a few weeks, maybe until the end of the school year.”

“Why us?” I pouted. “Doesn’t he have someone else he can go to? We don’t even know them anymore.”

“I don’t think they have anyone else sadly. They’ve had a rough time of it, I think. That’s what it sounds like anyway. And there’s no reason why we can’t help them. We have the space, and it would be good to get some life into the house again.”

I folded my arms, unsure what to say. We had a rhythm to our life now. One that finally settled. What if this person came in and messed it all up?

My mother sensed my unease. “What’s wrong? You were such good friends; I thought you’d be happy to see him again.”

I shrugged half-heartedly. How was I going to convince her that small changes could cause catastrophic events? Hadn’t we had enough of those?

I worried about it all day as school milled around me. At lunch, I looked at the low chatter of girl surrounding our table. I had to tell them. They would find out eventually. Better to get it over with.

“So, we’re having someone stay with us for a bit.” I spoke up.

“Someone?” Olivia’s eyes sparkled. “Someone who?”

“He’s an old friend, I guess. He used to live here but it was before your time, Liv.” I assured her.

“How long are they staying?” she asked.

“Probably ’til the end of the school year.” I shrugged.

“And? What’s he like?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I haven’t seen him since we were eight years old. Our moms must have kept in touch though because now he’s coming to live with us.” I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

“Huh. Mystery Man. Very exciting.” Holly added. “You should totally invite him to the beach party.”

Another party? Would it ever end?

“You are going, right?” Olivia asked, but she wasn’t really asking. I looked at her guiltily.

“Hayley, you promised you’d go to this one!” she pouted. I wasn’t sure what to say to her. She wasn’t a particularly good listener. She was more of a pusher.

“Liv, it’s not my thing...” I tried to say.

“What’s not your thing? Living?” she asked. “It’ll be so fun, Hayley. Can’t you picture it? The bonfire, the music, the dancing… It’ll be like a real-life fairytale.”

“Fairytales aren’t real.” I reminded her. “Parties just aren’t my strength.”

“Isn’t your final year the perfect time to change that?” she looked at me expectantly.

“Oh, she’s so right, Hayley, you should totally go. This party could change your life.” Holly assured me.

“You two put a lot of pressure on a party.” I told them.

“Even the most stubborn people can be affected by a perfect evening.”

“I’m not sure I’d want to put my stubborn person in the hands of something perfect. Perfect can turn ugly. Just look at my mom.”

“You’re not your mom, Hayley.” Olivia told me.

I chose not to comment on that. “I don’t trust ‘perfect’.” I said, instead.

“Fine, then it will be shitty and bearable. Will you please just come?”

The bell sounded, saving me from another excuse. “We’re going shopping after sixth period,” Olivia informed me as she glided away to class.

“You seemed to be under interrogation over there,” Someone said as they fell into step beside me.

“Yeah, Olivia thinks she has my best interests at heart. Holly just wants more people to go to this party.”

“The one this weekend?”

“You know about it?”

“Sure,” Sam grinned. “I may be a nerd, but we enjoy parties, too.”

I sighed. “Who wouldn’t want to go to a party, right?”

“You, apparently.” He smirked.

“Oh, no. I’m going,” I told him.

“But you told-”

“Olivia gets bored when she gets her way,” I told him. “I’m just keeping it interesting.”

He shook his head, muttering something about girls.

“I’m so glad you decided to go.”

“Me, too…” I agreed.

Liv turned to look at me. “That didn’t sound very confident.”

“Since when am I confident in anything?”

“Good point. But luckily that’s what you have me for.”

“Yeah, the world knows you have enough confidence to share.” I teased.

“This one.” She said.

“This one, what?”

She looked down at the navy bikini she’d procured from the vast shelves the store had to offer.

“Really?” I asked.

“Really.” She grinned.

“I don’t plan on swimming.” I informed her.

Olivia laughed. “You don’t wear a bikini to swim.”

“You don’t?” I asked.

“Most swim wear isn’t even designed to get wet. They’re for looking good.”

“And I have to look good because…?”

“Because you will be close to me most of the evening and I will not be seen with drab,” she smiled as she said this, but I knew it was true.

“Fine, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” I took the bikini from her and headed for the changing stalls.

“You know, we really should’ve done this sooner.”

“You think?” I asked her, tying the strings behind my neck.

“Yeah, we could have been further along by now.”

I frowned. “You make me sound like a project.”

“I just want what’s best for you, Hayley.” She said, absently.

“But is what’s best for me to turn me into you?”

“What? That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Why would I want another me?” I could tell she was browsing. She wasn’t interested in this conversation at all.

“Perhaps it’s easier to deal with?” I suggested.

“Don’t be silly.”

“Why am I wearing a bikini, Liv?” I smirked to myself.

“’Cause we’re going to the beach.” She said.

“And who created the rule that we have to wear a bikini at a beach?”

“It’s not a rule. It’s just common courtesy. You know, for the guys.” I could see the smile playing on her face.

“Except, you have boyfriends,” I reminded her. “Why are you worrying about guys?”

“There’s nothing wrong with looking hot for your boyfriend.” She said.

I pushed the stall door open. “And which one would you be referring to?” I asked her.

“Hayley! You look so hot!”

I looked down at my body. I’d forgotten my appearance. “You think so?”

“Totally,” she grinned. “You have to get it.”

“Oh, I have to?”

“Yes. My word is law,” she told me.

I shook my head. “I worry about you.”

“Well, don’t. I’m fine,” she smiled as if that would prove it.

“That are you going to wear?”

“Something cute, right?” I mimicked her voice.

She rolled her eyes at me. “And we should to do something with your hair.”

I stopped smiling. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing, god. We should make an effort, you know.”

“Effort? Like what?”

“Maybe we can do a fringe…” she narrowed her eyes to size me up.

“A fringe?” I stared at her. “Do you hear yourself?”

She looked up at me, blankly. “I had a fringe once.”

“Yes, I remember. You cut it yourself.”

“I owned it,” she turned back to the rack.

“It was terrible,” I reminded her. “And lopsided.”

She looked at me, in all seriousness. “I rocked it. And so will you.”

“I don’t want new hair.” I snapped, retreating into the stall, already untying the knot around my neck, fuming at her audacity. I had given her enough. She would not impose this on me, as well.

“Jesus, Hayley. It’s just a little snip…”

“Is there anything that doesn’t need fixing?” I pulled angrily at my shirt, trying not to look myself in the mirror. I was starting to feel self-conscious, starting to let her words get to me in ways I knew I shouldn’t – ways I should have expected.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Hayley-bun.”

“I’m not the one after drama. That’s your job. Why else would you have two boyfriends?”

She ignored me. “Have you found anything you like?”

“I have this terrifying string I’ll probably never wear.” I looked down at the bikini. It was beautiful. It was what I wanted. And what I didn’t deserve.

“Then why are you taking it?”

“Because you told me to.” I frowned in frustration. “What is so important that your attention isn’t on shopping?”

“Nothing is more important that shopping. Except maybe you wearing that bikini.”

I sighed. “Remind me why I agreed to this.”

“Because you need to and it will make me happy,” she said.

“As long as you’re happy…” I muttered.

“Exactly.” She smiled at me. “You’re getting it.”