January 1st
The First Day
Today is the first day
of the new year of my new life.
Not because of new year's resolutions,
not because I promised myself
to become perfect, to become someone else.
But because the sky exploded
into impermanent stars,
and tears traced my cheeks
as colors bloomed above me—
colors I was never meant to see.
I was not supposed to be here.
Not like this. Not this year.
Yet here I stand—
alive in 2026,
healthy, unchained,
with the quiet miracle
of growing old still ahead of me.
At the end of last year,
they found something inside me—
something dangerous,
something fast,
something that could have made
this night one of my last goodbyes.
But I survived.
By accident, I could say.
Or fate, maybe.
Because if one piece of the puzzle
had slipped away,
I would be dancing at a beautiful party,
laughing, unaware
that something in me
was slowly learning how to take me.
I would have believed
time was endless.
That life was waiting patiently.
That fate had written me a soft ending —
a dream woman
in a dream life.
But that was never the plan.
I was meant to leave early.
I was chosen to go too soon.
And still—
I stayed. I am still here.
A whisper, maybe an angel found me.
A quiet messenger in human form
asked one simple thing:
“Can you please check it for me?”
And I listened.
I listened. I still don’t know why.
And now I am here.
Breathing.
Whole.
Welcoming the first sunrise
of a borrowed life.
This year, I hold stars carefully
because all 365 of them—
are not promises, but gifts...
