Growing Pains

The nursing home rec room is lively today. Every seat is filled with a person in red or purple scrubs. I sit and enjoy the white noise of chatter and footsteps while swimming in the faint scent of lemony cleaner. The energy of the crowd radiates the air. Through the static, a lullaby cuts its way to me. From its origin stands a nurse, smiling down at her patient. A small baby boy rests in her arms drinking from a bottle. He is quiet as he fights the midday nap that has come to claim him. He suckles down the formula, eye lids flashing open in a futile attempt to remain awake. Curled up in his purple onesie, he slowly falls still, at rest. His caretaker in red scrubs, a young woman with dirty blond hair, sways as she slowly pulls the bottle free from him. I watch as she begins to cry.

I’m embarrassed. I feel as if I shouldn’t be watching her, though I am moved by the scene. I turn away towards my own patients. The two of them seem to be sharing a good conversation. One is a young man. He’s standing with a hand on his red beard, his short red bangs canopy over blue eyes, He clasps his hands behind him, occasionally looking away but finding his sight back on a young woman seated in front of him. He is trying not to talk with his hands as he usually does. Maybe he’s self-conscious about it, I do not know. My other patient, the young woman, sits looking up at him. She smiles, and nods her head, bouncing her tangle of brown hair she has secured in a messy ponytail. He says something which has her covering short fits of laughter with her hands. When she is not covering her laugh, she is pushing her dark brown bangs behind her ears. A futile attempt, as the bangs are too short for her monkey-like ears. They talk, laugh, and make nervous gestures. I have to admit, it makes me smile to see them like this.

The head nurse calls for the males to line up. It is time for their daily check-ups. The young man. Eddy bids the gal a farewell. They seem to make plans to see each other again, waving as they part. He walks away but glances back. Meeting eyes again with the girl. Distracted, he bumps into a nurse. I watch as he apologizes and clears the corner. The woman, Mabel, giggles and looks over at me. I feel that shame again, as if staring at an intimate moment.

She walks over to me and sits, letting out a little sigh.

“What has you smiling so much?” I ask her.

She pushes me on my arm, open mouthed before looking around.

“Pretty nice fella, you gonna see him later?” I ask her.

“Megan! Stop! It’s not like that, oh my god” she says.

Mabel is around 20 years old now, her whole life ahead of her. She’s an explosive sort of woman, loud and unapologetic. Atleast, that’s depending on the moment. The man she was talking to is Eddy, a bit of a goofball who keeps to himself most of the time. The same age as her, a pair. Both had met long ago, they just don’t know that now.

I catch her, staring at that corner that he took. Quiet. Something brewing behind those glossy blue eyes. She looks down, nervously pinching her left index finger.

“Hey Megan…”

“Yeah, what’s up dear?”

“Are you married?”

“Me? Yes. I have a husband and two kids. My boys are around your age now I reckon”

“Do you ever think I will get better?..”

“What? Of course, why not?”

“Well because of the sickness… That guy I met.. He was sweet and I thought he was cute and I.. I don’t know. Well, he’s sick like me but maybe when we get out? And, would he even..”

“Woah woah, hey don’t be like that. Your sickness is nothing to worry about..”

“It’s stupid, you know.. He said… he said when we get out of here he wants to go out for ice cream haha. That’s so stupid, who knows when we will be out of here…but…I dunno..”

Mabel fell silent again. She gets like this when her mood falls. She’s swingy that way. One moment she’s full of energy, the next, quietly reminiscing.

“Hey, you know, when I was around your age, I had an engagement fall apart”

“An engagement?”

“Yeap. I thought, well Megan, you’ll never find love ever again.”

“Isnt that being a little dramatic?”

“Shush, listen. There was a lot of trouble in the world and people weren’t really dating back then, at least that’s how I saw it at the time.”

“What did you do?”

“Well.. I went to visit my parents for a few nights. Now one of these nights was really tough, I stepped outside for a smoke–”

“Ew, smoking?”

“Ugh! Yeah yeah, I’ll quit, ok? It’s just... So, anyway, my mom caught me.”

“Good.”

“Quit interrupting. So I tried to put out the cigarette but she told me it was fine, she just wanted to know how I’d been. I… I went on some rant about being unlovable. About how messed up the world was. She didn’t interrupt. She just listened. When I had finished, she gave me a big hug and she… My mother, she… Anyway..”

“What’s up?” asked Mable.

“Well.. she said something like, Time has the power to erase all the pain in the world, but love exists beyond time. She let me know to take my time and that eventually, when I’m ready, I should give dating another try. I met my now husband a few years later actually haha.”

Mabel snorted and burst into a small fit of laughter, causing me to snort alongside her. We laughed for a little while, until she sighed and looked again towards the corner where Eddy had retreated.

“That’s funny, you know my mom used to say the same thing, well, something similar.” said Mabel.

“Look..um.. It doesn’t matter whether you’re sick or old or I don’t know, the world is ending. I think my mother wanted me to know that if you look for love, you’re gonna find it. Or in this case, like with Eddy, it finds you?”

“Sheesh Megan, I didn’t say I love the guy.”

She gave me a small shove as she laughed, but I could see from her face that her mind was wondering.

“Ah! it’s neither here nor there. I think… you would make a great match. Honestly.”

“Really?” replied Mabel, her glance went from me to the corner.

“Really really.”

She did not respond, just kept herself glued to that corner. I just hope that I helped her from worrying.

“Are you alright?” I ask.

“Yeah, I should probably get ready, the nurse should call us girls soon. Catch you for lunch?”

“Of course, I’ll be around if you need me, ok?”

She got up and headed towards the hall. At the same time, Eddy came around the corner. His gaze found Mabel and I watched as he lit up.

I’ll let them have a little privacy. It can’t hurt for young people to mingle and such. It’s a beautiful thing to see. Even in a place like this. I get up to have a cigarette when I notice Mabel’s patient badge has fallen. I pick it up and walk towards her. The nurses call for the female group, prompting Mabel to step away.

“Mom, hold up!” I yell at her. She turns to look at me but seems confused.

I hold up her badge and present it to her.

“Oh thank you, damn thing wont stay clipped to my jacket”

“It’s no problem at all”

She turns to go but stops, facing me slowly.

“Did you just call me mom?”

I quietly panic.

“Yea, oh shoot, sorry, still thinking about our talk and all. Just ignore me, you gotta get to that check up.” I wave her off and shoo her towards the nurses door. “Go on, I’ll see you after.”

She smiles and shakes her head, passing off my mistake as some silly thing before disappearing around the corner. I turn to Eddy, he is grabbing a snack from one of the free vending machines, ripping open what I think is a cheese danish.

“Hey Eddy, how did it go?”

“Oh the check up? well..” he takes his right hand and clasps the back of his neck. It’s a habit he has. He is always dramatic before giving good news.

“Oh no! Bad news?” I ask. I like encouraging him.

“Well… they said I was the healthiest guy in the clinic. Told me if I’m good by tomorrow that I can finally get out of here”

I smile at him. I know that it is for the best to tell the patients good news, no reason to sour their mood during their stay, but the guilt is there. Always there. Still, I have to remember that it is my job to play this role for them.

“That’s great news! Well let’s make sure to have a nice last day. Anything you want me to get you for dinner here?”

“Well, could you get ice cream? I ugh” he smiles at me “I would like to have an ice cream with that woman I was talking to earlier.”

“Ofcourse, I’ll get you the works”

“Ok, Cool cool.” he says.

He walks off to a table with some other guys his age. They are teaching the younger boys a card game. It’s fitting to see Eddy and Mabel, young, wading the waters of a first date. I look forward to supervising tonight. I mean, who wouldn’t want a chance to see their parents fall in love?