Total Puck of the Heart

“Total Puck of the Heart” Copyright © 2026 by Xander Grey

Published by Xander Grey

All rights reserved

No part of this short story may be reproduced or used in any manner including but not limited to being stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by electronic means, recordings, or other versions, without prior written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

This story is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this story are from the author’s imagination. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Blurb:Cupid & Casanova team up to low-tech match-make soulmates in today’s hi-tech world.

Dedication

A special Valentine’s Day gift to my readers & cheer leaders — I’d never be able to do this without you

One Day

“Ready, set,” the director counted down silently as the camera panned in from across the lavish office to the desk and then onto the extremely photogenic 25-year-old, incredibly charismatic, well tailored guy behind it.

“Another successful match!Look Rebound Boomers, Still-looking Xers, Millennials, and gen-Z-ers—I know you get it, I’m Cassidy Casanova, my friends call me Cass obviously, and I have only one mission in life — finding you your twin flame, your soul mate, your better half your, life-partner. Forget Speed dating, misleading profiles, and endless swiping, stop griping, and start ripening [inserts air quote gesture] up to the 1000% more effective personal match-making service only Casanova can deliver. Ask any one of my hundreds of satisfied customers.”

“Cut,” the director shouted, “It’s a wrap! Thanks, Cass! I’ll send you the Final Cut for your social in a few days.”

“Final cut? You make it sound like you’re the ‘big time’ Jimmy, not my second cousin, by re-marriage, twice-removed from Tarzana.”

“Hey! Cuz Cass, I was only removed from Tarzana once,” Jimmy remarked as he headed out of the office with his equipment (high-end smart phone) in tow shutting the door behind him.

Cass sat their staring at the land line phone — not money well spent but seemed like a it might make the office look more professional at the time, watched his actual phone for any action apart from alerts from pro sport event results which no longer really captured his attention given his situation.His situation?

Well, it was not going as well as he had hoped and as he had bragged and been bragging about in his social media promos. He hadn’t had hundreds of successful matches, he’d had more like a dozen not counting his neighbor’s sister who, yes, shouldn’t be counted.All he had done was agree with the match when he showed up at the weekend neighborhood BBQ stating they were engaged; and, thus far, they were literally 40 weeks from their first anniversary. No, times were lean. He had witnessed a spike in on-line activity and interest; but most people, it seemed, were not willing to shell out hard-to-come-by money for his services which they perceived they could get for free on-line or via friends.

He twiddled his thumbs, played with a variety of fidget toys—all gifts of Jimmy, who seemed to be the only one making money off his business, and wondered aloud, “Is my business going to survive?” To be honest, he had only sufficient liquidity to last two more months at most. If something big didn’t happen, he would have to move back home, and be forced to get a ‘real job’. He wanted this to be his real job. Plus, genuinely, he was darn good at it.

The idea of becoming a professional match-maker began back in high school when he correctly matched many of his friends into successful couples. When college life just didn’t speak to him, one of them had suggested this idea. His parents were not as devastated as he had imagined for, in fact, his decision saved them hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The friends he matched? Well, it started with Julie and Gregory! He had been friend with Julie since 2nd grade, and Gregory was this new lacrosse player from Delaware suddenly relocated to So-Cal. Cass met him in the locker room after a joint workout between the boys basketball and lacrosse teams. Normally, they had their own locker rooms but because the lacrosse locker room was being renovated they were sharing at the moment.

Their encounter was a bit embarrassing as Cass had accidentally stepped on Gregory’s rather lightly secured towel around his waist. Naturally, it fell loose causing a moment of mutual embarrassment placing Gregory’s personal fortitude right into the face of an unsuspecting new frosh from Montecito. After apologizing, the two became friends and eventually he proposed a match between Gregory and Julie. The rest is history as they wed shortly after high school and yielded three perfectly adorable offspring almost immediately after that — yes, triplets. Then there was Chris and Rose, Jamie and Sophie, Lyle and Kale, and Brook and Brooks — a classic.

As he fiddled with the latest fidget spinner — sort of a new take on the möbius strip with a cat chasing a gold fish around the infinite loop never catching its prey, he suddenly felt shivers and looked up only to discover an ethereal presence appearing before his eyes. The being fully materialized from a glowing golden dust, and then spread out on the chaise lounge across from his desk—a place reserved usually exclusively for matched couples.

“Um excuse me?” Cass blurted out pointing angrily and showing no fear. Which he was not.He was a very tough, strong, and well-trained mixed-martial artist. “Who are you and how the fudge did you get in here?” For, some reason, he found himself suddenly unable to swear.

A golden aura surrounding the being settled down at last allowing Cass’s eyes to focus on him more clearly. He was a gleaming, gorgeous, fantastically handsome angel-like being wearing red, white, and blue robes with silver-battle armor and various sapphire and ruby heart-shaped gem stones. “I will offer you three guesses, Cassidy Casanova. The being said, but you should really only need one.”

“Well, I think I need to lay off the gosh darn hot sauce on my bbq wings, first of all.”He looked bewildered. “Why the frack can’t I swear holy freakin’ fudge any more?”

“Oh, sorry, I think cursing is so pedestrian, so, I do not allow it in my presence.”

“This is nuts! So, I’m hallucinating an uptight, hella handsome, flamin’ hot angel then?”

“Ok, I am real, first of all, and here are some clues even you can use to guess who I am. One, I’m popular at St. Valentine’s Day; and, two, my name starts like yours with the third letter of the English alphabet.”

“You’re real?” Cass climbed up and over sitting down on his desk revealing he had only been camera ready from the waist up when filming the video.

“Still in pandemic mode?” The mysterious being asked noticing he, likewise, was unshod.

“Oh, yes, I’m a So-Cal boy born and bred. I never wear shoes and board shorts are my go-to attire, preferably shirtless!”

“How professional! And weren’t you just wondering aloudif your business is going to succeed?” “Coming from a scantily clad, barefoot, angel-like being in robes,” Cass retorted with a signature grin and wink. “Touché.”

“So, you think [insert air quotes] you’re Cupid or you are Cupid?”

“Both.”The being got up and went over to shake Cass’s hand.

“You feel like flesh and blood,” Cass noted aloud. “I’m not, but I can make it feel that way to you,” Cupid said sensing that Cass was not exactly what he seemed, but he couldn’t put his finger on why at the moment. He returned to the lounge. “Let’s just say, I’m not from around here.”

“Um, listen, angel…Mr. Angel…Mr. Cupid, that’s kind of reserved, buddy, you know for…”.

Cupid cut him off, “I know. Your matches?”

“Yes, how’d did you know?”

“Oh, I’ve been observing you for a while, Cassidy. I hope you don’t mind me using your real name, but Cass seems a bit…”.

“Let me guess [inserts air quotes] ‘pedestrian to you’?”

“Precisely!” Cupid responded.

“Sure, Cassidy is fine. I love my name.” He paused stretching his elbows backward forcing his chest to pop out and showing off his might. “So, then you’ve answered one of my questions, Cupid, at least theoretically. Who you are, but are you real?”

“Yes.”

“Got any proof?” Cass asked.

“What do you need?”

“Well, do angels have some form of ID?”

“No, and as I said, I’m not exactly an angel. I just choose to take this form as my primary form because, well, I like it, and humans seem to find it satisfactory.”

“Like it? I think I can speak for my entire species and say, you are amazing, lovely, gorgeous out of this world,” Cassidy was having some trouble not revealing his obvious instantaneous beguilement caused by the semi-ethereal being. “So, you’ve been observing me, ya da, ya da, creepy, stalker-esque, letting it slide, so on and so forth, to what end? How did you get in, and I’ll add another why are you here?”

Cupid sat up planting his feet firmly on the lush carpet making fists with his feet and looking rather majestic.

“You ask a lot of fair questions. Allow me to be blunt. I want to team up.”

“How’s that? You can literally make people fall in love, right? I mean that’s your super power reputation. So, what do you need from me? What do I possibly bring to your table?”

“Well, Mr. Cassanova, things for me aren’t like they used to. In my hey-day I was shooting 50-60 love arrows an hour. I was flying around here causing people to fall in love like leaves fall in autumn in New England; but, just like for you, times have changed. For my arrows to work, people need to actually be together.”

“Oh, I get it, that whole ‘love at first sight’ thing,” Cass replied.

“Exactly, and people just are not together anymore. It doesn’t work if they are looking at each other via a screen. I’m facing the exact same problem as bedevils your service.”

“Totally get it!” Cass said swinging his feet back and forth like a little kid. “So, we join forces? Team up? Super hero and his side-kick.”

“Precisely,” Cupid looked fierce.

“Ok, sounds great, when do we start?” Cass replied, but his face did not match his words. “Really?”Cupid asked.

“No! Of course not. First of all, I’m not looking for a side-kick,” Cass said hopping of the desk and marching left then right.

“I was thinking more co-equal business partners,” Cupid interjected. “Even, so, I present more like the super hero do I not?”

“Second, obviously…” Cass continued ignoring Cupid completely, “…this is some sort of joke right? Jimmy put you up to this and you’re some guy from Rent-An-Angel.”

“Is that a thing?” Cupid asked. “So, you need more proof I’m real then?”

“Third, I don’t need any help, I’m doing perfectly fine on my own.”

“You’re two months from insolvency and moving from this chaise lounge to your parent’s sofa according to my best estimates,” Cupid spoke up without missing a beat.

“Forth, please just go, I’ve real work to do.”

Cupid looked very disappointed. He stood up and flapped his wings a few times rising up in the air close to the ceiling. “Have it your way, I’m not going to beg you!” Turning to the door, reaching down, and opening it so he could fly out, Cupid departed with a sound unparalleled in Cass’s experience. It was like the beating of the wings of a swarm of butterflies.Cupid did not look back, except only a little over his shoulder. “Insufferable,” he thought to himself.

Cass returned to his office chair behind the desk taking his eyes off the door. He plopped his huge feet up on the desk positioning the Achilles tendon of the one on top between the big and second toe of the one on the bottom. He could not figure out why this was so comfortable, but he learned it accidentally from a social media influencer explaining how different foot and leg excercises could practically cure anything. He, therefore, failed to notice the calico red and white cat with blue bow tie and silver battle armor dart in and under the chaise lounge.

“What’s wrong with me?” Cass asked out loud. “I attract all the darn psychos.” He paused “Hey, I still can’t friging curse! That is so sus!”