Conscious Of You

…leaves were rustling under a cool wind, and birds were screeching ominously under an overcast and murky sky. I had somehow decided to walk down this trail.

Or is this a hike?

A huge backpack weighed me down during this journey. I could not seem to remember where I was coming from.

Or where I was headed to…

The trail went through tall, beautiful trees, but it was too dark to appreciate them. It made me anxious, an eerie feeling settling over me, something didn't feel right. Something lurking in my subconsciousness, warning me to be more... Alert?

I realised I was breathing heavily by that time, I asked myself...

Why was I here alone?

After a while, the uneven trail cleared off into a green meadow facing a clear lake. On a sunny day, I could imagine the water being a perfect shade of blue, soothing the eye. But not today. It appeared dark steel gray, as if it were the warning of some impending doom.

The still, clear water served as the perfect contrast to the lush green of the forest. It was serene and beautiful to the point of feeling almost unnatural. A beautiful scenery and yet devoid of a single ripple in the water or even a bird in the sky.

Possibly the most mesmerizing place I have ever visited, and yet ever-so-ordinary. Some other time, perhaps?. I might have appreciated it more, but for now,  I tried to catch my breath as I took in the scene. That was when I noticed someone on the other side of the lake.

Still subdued in darkness, I rubbed my eyes, but that didn’t help much. I couldn’t see who it was, but knew that someone was there, standing, floating amidst this darkness. A warm feeling spread over my body; I realized I wasn't alone walking down this unfamiliar trail.

That was my destination... or was it destiny?

It was a rather strange thought to have. I tried walking along the bank of the lake, steering clear of the steep slopes, lest I risk a fall, to join the rendezvous. Halfway there, I was already panting. I didn’t have much time.

It took me a while to realize it was a girl. The skirt of her dress bunched around her waist, flowing all the way up until her toes, as she stood quietly by the lake. I couldn’t see her face completely; a light breeze was grazing over her skin, making her loose brown curls obscure her face. From her posture and the way she held her head, I could tell she hadn’t noticed me yet.

I know her. But it was too dark around to tell with certainty.

She seemed sad. In fact, she had been weeping for a while. I quickened my pace, feeling frantic as the moments ticked by. Ironically, my pace got slower.

With her face now within my line of sight, I realized that her eyes were closed, as if she wasn't expecting me at all. And yet she was there. Standing and waiting...

For me?

Her lips were moving, whispering a silent prayer. I inched closer with a heightened sense of urgency.

I can’t hear her. After all, I had never seen her cry 

I tried hurrying over, but my backpack wasn’t helping. I tried shedding it, but somehow it felt glued to my back. As if things weren't difficult enough, my legs were, seemingly, filled with lead, slowly giving up.

Stuck in an agonizing slow-mo, I had a sudden overpowering urge to break free and touch her. I wanted to tell her.

Tell her what?

Something. Anything. I had to, I needed to. It was imperative...

I tried calling out her name, but no voice would come out of my throat. I was fighting everything around me - the thinning air, the dark atmosphere, my heavy bag, and my very body. I could barely breathe. Her whispers started to fade, quickly tuned out by a constant ringing in my ear that wouldn't stop.

This was turning into a nightmare. I urged my body to keep going, pulling it along with sheer will. I had to get to her.

Then, I heard something more. I guess I had finally managed to get close enough. It was her voice. It was small and soft and delightfully comforting to my ailing body.

“I love you, Zach,” she wept, “Please come back. I can’t live without you.”

I know her. Why can’t I remember?

I wanted to hold her, talk to her, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Paralyzed at that moment, all I could do was watch her in misery. It was killing me.

She finally opened her eyes and looked up. Her hair fell back, and I could finally see her beautiful, tear-stained face. Still unaware of me, she whispered, “Please bring him back!

The bag on my back, which was weighing me down like an anvil on my chest, finally fell off.

And then, there was light....

***