Chapter 1
ADA
I tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. Sweat trickling down my forehead. I stood up from my hunched over position and looked at the horizon where the sun was setting behind the hills. I brought the back of my hand to my dampened forehead and swiped at the perspiration.
Feeling the tightness in my chest swelling as I looked at the sun setting, painting the hills all shades of rust and gold. It was beautiful here… and I was going to miss it. The quiet stillness that was offered by the reliable silence. The rolling pastures that afforded us the ability to grow our own food and raise our own livestock after the world ended. Our little farmhouse wasn’t a lot of course. It was a gleaming white wooden house at one time. Now the paint was all chipped showing how the years of weather and damage had etched away at it. Begging to strip it bare.
It was our shelter, our sanctuary from all the dangers around us. We were able to enjoy being alive even in the midst of modern society collapsing around us. Every mundane chore we were grateful to do just knowing we were alive, and together. Until we weren’t…
Staring out into the sun peeking just barely over the hills now, I decided to turn inside for the evening. I had done enough work today. I was by myself now. Alone. Doing the work steadily that used to be done by two.
I reached for the handle of the wooden door. The familiar creak of the henges reminding me that once the door closed behind me, it wouldn’t open again.
I locked up for the night waltzing to my dresser lost in the memories of before. The good times and even the bad times too. My heart too sullen by the fact that I would be leaving this homestead tomorrow morning at first light for somewhere safer for only me now.
I washed my face in the water basin and I pressed my fingers to my eyes trying to block out the picture-like memories flashing before my eyes. The pictures of my husband dead on a cold slab waiting for me to identify him. His eyes closed like he was sleeping. The white sheet covering him was stained with dried blood. I knew what happened without the makeshift law enforcement telling me.
The rogue werewolves got to him.
In the aftermath of the wars that shook through the world- nuclear nation against nuclear nation, every modern comfort we had come to enjoy was decimated. Ripping out the preverbal rug from under all of us. The ones that survived anyway. It forced us to adapt to a way of life that had long since been forgotten.
In the Americas, the east coast and the west coasts were considered dead zones due to the blasts and radiation clouds that still permeated the atmosphere. It blocked out the sky causing a nuclear winter for years after the initial blasts.
No one was allowed inside or even close to the borders. It was known as the wastelands now. Effectively pushing everyone more so in the middle to try to find a way to live into the next day.
The government no longer existed. Electricity and running water were no longer a convenience that was expected. Gasoline and petroleum products were the first to go. A scarce resource as it was.
We now relied on the power of the animals that survived the blasts and nuclear winter along with renewable resources as a means to help us continue on. We use what we can that’s offered by the land. That’s all that’s available these days and she’s more than giving in her abundance if you know how to sweet talk her.
Our little ranch was settled in a hollowed out green pasture surrounded by rolling hills and thick pine trees. It was supposed to be a refuge where Gage and I could exist and try to find happiness in the new normal.
Before the wars, Gage and I were on the rocks. Our corporate, independent lifestyle mishmashed with infidelity on his part drew a giant wedge in our relationship. We grew further apart instead of towards each other. Finding comfort in strangers than in the person that had been in each other’s lives for the past 10 years.
Once the bombs started to hit, none of that mattered anymore. Our marriage may have ended emotionally years ago, but our friendship was still very much alive. We cared for one another beyond anything else even though the love had died out long ago.
We stayed together. Roamed the badlands in search of the perfect place to secure our futures. After enduring many hardships, finding our little sanctuary in a rundown farm house with rolling green pastures tucked away in the hill county of what would have been Texas before the wars. We knew we made it. We knew we were finally going to be okay. That was up until a couple months ago.
Gage was going on a supply run into the nearest makeshift town. For some reason I was incredibly anxious with him leaving this time. He sat up on our fastest most reliable horse with the reins in his hands. The packsaddles empty to carry the goods he could barter for and procure.
I wrung my hands nervously, unable to take my eyes away from his. The anxiety wasn’t out of some deep love or affection. It was out of survival. We needed each other to keep on going. If anything happened to him I would be left all alone.
He tried his best to quell the intense worry I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. There had been an alarming uptick in rogue sightings in the badlands recently.
Smiling lightly as he took my hand in his. He bent down to kiss it. I managed a half-smile because of his efforts to ease my racing heart, but I knew it was no good. I just knew he wasn’t coming back.
I watched him ride into the unknown for the last time. A slow tear running down my cheek praying I was going to be wrong this time.
With the end of the world brought in a new faction of power. A raw unadulterated strength that the modern world thought was of myth and legend. A shifter that was half-man, half-wolf. Immense strength not known to humans. Agility and endurance. Cunning smarts and loyalty only to their pack members. A towering wolf that stood on two legs. Who could crouch down on all fours for the use of intense speed. They could kill without so much as breaking a sweat with tactical precision.
Their packs soon took control of the remaining food sources including livestock by their incredible ability of herding. If you control the food, you control the people.
Gage was hunted and murdered by rogues. Rogue werewolves didn’t adhere to a personal code of conduct for the sake of coexisting with anyone. They lived on the fringes of society and took what they wanted by force. They killed indiscriminately only relying on their own blood thirst to survive.
They were cast out or abandoned by their packs for not playing well with others. Untrustworthy, and oftentimes… murderers.
The wolf pack that was supposed to protect our borders were celebrating a mating ceremony of one of their pack members. The head of the pack, their Alpha, haphazardly gambled with the security of our region for a fucking party. Gage was just collateral damage.
FLASHBACK TO A FEW MONTH EARLIER**
With my means of survival hanging by a thread, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see the familiar outline of a huge man who I had come to recognize as a shifter.
The wolf man with his cowboy hat lowered stood on my porch looking at me with sorrow in his eyes. He slowly took off his hat with one hand and held it over his heart. He was showing me respect as he was a guest in my sanctuary. He obviously knew I had just been widowed. My eyes raw and red lined, cheeks stained with the tears of dread, sorrow and uncertainty the wolf man held out a regal looking piece of paper.
The man cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out for a beat. He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts and began again snapping his mouth shut then opening it once more to start speaking.
“On behalf of my Alpha, who is in great sorrow and regrets the loss of brother Gage, we would like to extend to you the deed of this new home closer to the Alpha’s guard, offering you his personal protection in the badlands.” His southern drawl was thick and comforting with his sincerity. He tipped his head to the paper and slightly nudged his elbow towards me in an effort to have me take it.
I stared at the large man’s glittering eyes and the piece of thick paper with seals and calligraphy effectively establishing its authenticity. My lip trembled at the sight of it. The memories threatening to flash before my eyes of every earth shattering thing that had transpired as of late.
Anger started to boil inside of me. The Alpha felt sorrow and regret for his stupidity? Well yeah, he fucking should. An innocent man died that he swore he would protect within his borders. He failed Gage and he paid the ultimate price. Leaving me all alone to figure everything out. No one to lean on, no one to care about what the hell happened to me out there. Gage suffered and I couldn’t get the blood soaked sheet out of my mind.
I snatched the piece of paper from the wolf man and scowled at him as hot tears fell anew from my eyes.
He gingerly and understandably let his hand fall back to his side. He placed his cowboy hat back on his head. I tried to burn him down where he stood with my gaze.
Gage wasn’t the perfect husband by any stretch of the imagination, but he was my only friend left out here in the cruel world from before the nuclear apocalypse. He didn’t deserve to be ripped apart bleeding out alone and terrified.
My heart was retching with sorrow. I spat at the ground and slammed the door in his face.
The towering man stood for a beat behind the door. I heard a sullen sigh escape him as I heard his boots and spurs slowly descend from my wooden porch.
I heard the grunt of his horse as he mounted the animal and then the trotting of hooves as I sunk down to the ground with my back against the door. Quiet sobs escaped me as I mourned for the friend I lost.
PRESENT DAY**
The memory of all that transpired flitted to an end before my eyes like the end of a film.
I regained my senses as I was absentmindedly brushing my long pale blond hair preparing for a sleepless night ahead.
I slowly placed my brush down, and started blowing out the candles nearby. I stopped at the last one.
My gaze got lost in the dance and flicker of the warm light in the darkening room. My eyes started welling up with unshed tears threatening to fall.
I gasped, unable to hold it at bay any longer. I allowed myself to cry as hollow shakes engulfed my aching frame.
I was going to miss this place. The memories made with Gage repairing our relationship at the end of everything would soon just be that. My memories.
My sobbing slowed. My breath evening out. Clarity slowly regained in my grief-filled mind.
I wiped my eyes. Straightened my white cotton nightgown and sat up a bit straighter.
I inhaled a shaky, dreading breath and clinched my fists that rested on my knees.
A newfound determination slowly sowing itself inside my gut. I owed it to Gage to keep going. My rock was gone now, but I would never forget his strength, courage and his determination to keep finding the best in this new reality.
He grounded me when I was so full of fear. Now it was time to make him proud and show him I could keep going with everything he taught me. I owed him that much.
A new destination was in sight. A new hope simmering with all the possibilities awaiting my discovery.
I leaned forward and whispered to myself “Goodnight Gage… I loved you… Thank you.” I blew out the candle effectively bringing darkness around me.
It’s alluring pull lulling me into a death like sleep.
