Chapter 1
The sun hung warm and bright over the Los Angeles Zoo, casting golden light through the trees as Buck, Eddie, and Christopher strolled along the winding paths, laughing at the antics of the animals. Buck and Eddie were on either side of Christopher, a soft bubble of family-like warmth forming around them as they watched him dart ahead to examine each new exhibit.
They had just come from the elephant enclosure, where Christopher had tried to mimic the trumpet-like sound of the baby elephant, much to the delight of nearby kids and the quiet amusement of Buck and Eddie. Now, as they walked away, Buck’s gaze wandered from Christopher to the families around them, parents holding their kids’ hands or lifting them onto shoulders. The sight filled Buck with a familiar ache—an unspoken longing he’d buried for years but could no longer ignore.
He felt Eddie’s presence beside him, solid and grounding, and before he could stop himself, he blurted, “You know... I think I want a kid.”
Eddie turned to Buck; brows raised in curiosity but also a touch of surprise. Buck watched Eddie’s face closely, hoping for.“something”, some spark of understanding, a sign that Eddie felt the same or at least could support his dream. He forced a casual smile, trying to mask the vulnerability beneath.
“Seriously?” Eddie asked, sounding more amused than Buck had hoped for. His smile was lopsided, easygoing.
Buck chuckled softly, his gaze sliding back to Christopher, who was now completely entranced by the giraffes stretching their necks to reach the tallest branches. “Yeah. I think I’m ready. I mean, I’ve always liked the idea of having a family, of being there for someone the way I wish my parents had been for me.”
Eddie nodded thoughtfully, his eyes warm with understanding, and then tilted his head, a bit of curiosity sparking there. “So... who would you have a kid with?”
Buck paused, meeting Eddie’s gaze with a hint of a smile. “Well, I could... carry it myself. It’s something I can do, medically speaking.”
Eddie blinked, processing this revelation. Before he could react, Buck nudged his arm playfully, though his voice was softer when he added, “I mean, I’d need some help from someone... someone I trust.” He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck, before adding, almost shyly, “You’re my best friend, Eddie. I thought maybe... you’d be up for it.”
For a moment, Eddie was silent, absorbing what Buck had just suggested. His face softened as he considered the sincerity in Buck’s words. But then, a small laugh escaped him, breaking the spell.
“You and me, having a kid together?” Eddie shook his head, still chuckling. “That’d be weird.”
The laughter echoed between them, and Buck’s smile wavered, the words landing harder than he’d expected. For a moment, he felt like he’d taken a wrong turn into an idea he’d been nurturing quietly, one he hadn’t fully realized until now. In so many ways, he’d seen himself and Eddie as co-parents for Christopher—sharing responsibilities, creating a stable home together, picking up each other’s pieces, even when they didn’t share a house. But Eddie’s laughter made it clear that he didn’t see things the same way, that he didn’t think of them as a team in that way.
The ache twisted, but Buck swallowed it down, forcing himself to offer a weak chuckle in response. “Yeah,” he murmured, trying to sound lighthearted even though he could feel something breaking just a little. “I guess it would be... weird.”
Eddie, oblivious, was already watching Christopher, who was happily pointing out the giraffes to some other kids nearby, and didn’t notice Buck’s face tighten, the smile now a mere mask. Buck shifted his gaze away, staring at the giraffes without really seeing them, his mind spinning.
In a flash, he realized he’d have to look elsewhere, that Eddie wouldn’t be by his side for this dream. The thought stung, especially as he’d spent so many moments picturing Eddie there with him, just like they were now.
But if Eddie didn’t want to be part of it... well, then he’d have to find someone who would.
The realization weighed heavy, but Buck kept his shoulders squared, lifting his chin as if to ward off the ache. He forced a casual shrug, pretending to focus on Christopher’s chatter, hiding the flicker of hurt in his eyes.
They walked in silence for a few moments, the weight of Buck’s unspoken longing lingering between them, unnoticed by Eddie but felt by Buck with every step.
***
The hum of the firehouse kitchen was familiar, a comforting sound amidst the bustle of everyday life. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee hung in the air, mingling with the faint scent of charred toast from a minor breakfast mishap that had gone unnoticed by the rest of the crew. The kitchen was a cozy corner of the firehouse, the clink of utensils and the chatter of firefighters creating a homey ambiance. Buck sat at the worn wooden table, his fingers lightly tracing the edge of his coffee mug. His usual energy was absent, replaced by an unsettling quietness that contrasted with the usual buzz of activity. He stirred his coffee absentmindedly, the spoon scraping gently against the ceramic, but his thoughts were far away.
Across from him, Hen and Chimney exchanged a glance, both immediately sensing the shift in their normally exuberant friend. It wasn’t just the quiet—there was something off in his demeanor, like a shadow lingering just behind his usually bright eyes.
Hen leaned casually on the counter, arms crossed over her chest. She studied Buck for a beat, waiting for him to notice her gaze. When he didn’t, she spoke up, her voice light but laced with concern. “Okay, spill it. What’s going on? You’ve been weird all shift.”
Buck blinked, as if startled out of his thoughts, and glanced up at her with a start. “What? I’m not being weird.”
Chimney, never one to hold back, snorted in amusement as he slid into the seat next to Buck. “You’ve been stirring that coffee for like five minutes, man. Either you’re trying to dissolve the spoon, or something’s definitely up.”
Buck sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair. He looked down at the swirling coffee in his mug, suddenly unsure of how to voice the tangled thoughts in his head. His fingers gripped the handle tightly, knuckles white against the warmth of the cup. He hesitated for a moment, but the weight of the conversation he’d been avoiding all day finally caught up with him. “I’ve been thinking about having a baby.”
Hen raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. She stepped closer, resting her hip against the counter. “Like... with someone?”
Buck shook his head, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Not exactly. I mean, I want to carry it myself. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and I’m finally ready to go for it.”
Chimney’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Wait, wait, wait. You can do that? Like, medically?”
Buck nodded, offering a small, almost shy smile. “Yeah. It’s possible. I talked to a doctor about it a while ago.”
Hen tilted her head, studying him carefully. She could tell there was more to the story, but for now, she let him continue. “Okay, so what’s the hold-up? You need, what, a donor? A partner?”
Buck hesitated, the familiar sting of Eddie’s earlier comment sharp in his chest. He bit his lip, unwilling to dive too deeply into the emotional whirlpool of it all. “I thought... I kind of thought Eddie might... I don’t know, want to help. But when I brought it up, he just laughed. Said it’d be weird if we had a kid together.”
Hen’s brows furrowed in confusion, a soft scoff escaping her lips. “Wait a second—weren’t you already kind of co-parenting Christopher with him?”
Buck shrugged, his shoulders heavy with the weight of unspoken thoughts. “Yeah, I thought so too. But apparently, he doesn’t see it that way.”
Hen let out a soft, incredulous sigh, shaking her head. “That man is so clueless sometimes.”
“Tell me about it,” Buck muttered under his breath, his voice thick with quiet hurt. His eyes lowered to the table, and he let the silence fill the space between them for a moment. “So, I’m exploring other options. There are plenty of people out there who might be open to this.”
Chimney leaned forward, suddenly intrigued, his usual playful grin spreading across his face. “Okay, now I’m curious. Who’s on the list? Is it someone we know? Because I’ve got opinions.”
Hen rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “What about someone here at the station? Or maybe one of Athena’s cop friends? We’ve got some decent candidates.”
Buck gave a weak laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not exactly going to put out a classified ad, Hen.”
“Oh, please,” she teased with a grin. “What about Riley from B-shift? He’s cute. And didn’t Daniels over in arson say he wanted kids someday?”
Chimney chimed in with mock seriousness, pointing dramatically at Buck. “Or what about that paramedic who always flirts with you? What’s his name—Kevin?”
Buck groaned, rubbing his temples in exasperation. “This isn’t matchmaking, guys. I just... I want someone who’s serious about this, not just a fling.”
Hen softened her tone, her expression gentle now. “Well, do you have anyone in mind?”
Buck straightened slightly, his resolve firming. The edge of frustration had shifted into something more grounded, more determined. “Actually, I’ve got an appointment tomorrow with my doctor to make sure everything’s good. Once I know for sure, I’ll start narrowing down my options.”
Hen gave him an encouraging smile, her eyes warm with support. “Good for you, Buck. Just don’t settle, okay? You deserve someone who’s all in.”
***
The next morning, Eddie walked into the station, the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air. He cradled his cup between his hands, savoring the warmth as he made his way toward the kitchen. The usual clatter of the firehouse was in full swing, but something in the tone of Hen and Chimney’s voices made him pause at the door.
“So, Buck’s really doing this?” Chimney’s voice carried with a mix of disbelief and intrigue, drawing Eddie’s attention.
Hen’s response was calm, but there was an undercurrent of something else in her tone. “Yep. He’s serious. Even has the doctor’s appointment today to check if he’s ready for it.”
Eddie’s brow furrowed, his eyes narrowing slightly as his mind registered the words. Ready for it? He hesitated in the doorway, coffee momentarily forgotten in his hand. The silence that followed felt heavy, like he was walking in on something he wasn’t meant to hear.
He took a step into the kitchen, his voice breaking the air as he asked, “What are you guys talking about?”
Hen and Chimney both turned to him, surprised, but there was a certain sharpness to Hen’s gaze. Her lips curled into something that might’ve been amusement, but her eyes were calculating, as if she could already tell where this conversation was headed.
“Buck,” she said, her voice cool and steady. “He’s planning to have a baby.”
Eddie froze. His eyes locked onto her, his mind spinning to keep up with the sudden shift in the conversation. The world around him seemed to slow, the sound of his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. “He’s what?”
Chimney shrugged, leaning casually against the counter, but there was a new intensity in his tone. “Apparently, it’s something he’s wanted for a while. He’s even thinking about asking around for a donor or going to a clinic.”
The words hit Eddie like a physical blow, knocking the wind out of him. His grip tightened on the coffee mug, the heat seeping through his fingers as his chest constricted, the weight of the conversation settling in his gut like a stone. “He didn’t tell me any of this,” Eddie murmured, his voice low, barely above a whisper.
Hen’s eyebrow quirked knowingly, and she set her mug down on the counter, her expression shifting slightly. “Maybe because the last time he tried, you laughed it off.”
Eddie blinked, caught off guard by her comment, his pulse quickening. “What are you talking about?”
“He told us about the conversation you had,” Hen said lightly, but there was an unmistakable reproach in her voice now. “At the zoo. You said it’d be ‘weird’ if you two had a kid together.”
The memory hit Eddie like a flood, swift and brutal. He could still see Buck’s hopeful expression, the way his eyes had brightened when he’d brought it up, only to be crushed by Eddie’s dismissive words. The regret hit him immediately, sharp and painful. “I didn’t think he was serious,” he muttered, his throat tight.
Hen shrugged, but her tone softened just a little, as if acknowledging the gravity of the situation. “Well, he is. And honestly? Buck’s a catch. If he’s really ready to do this, he won’t have trouble finding someone who’ll jump at the chance to be part of it.”
Chimney nodded in agreement, his voice warm but matter-of-fact. “Yeah, I mean, look at him. He’s a good guy, great with kids, and clearly committed. People would line up for that.”
The words stung, and Eddie’s chest tightened in response, his jaw clenching involuntarily. He wanted to protest, to argue, but the truth was, they were right. Buck was a catch—too good to be left behind, too good for anyone who didn’t recognize it. Eddie’s mind flickered with the image of Buck’s face—the joy, the hope, the vulnerability that Eddie had failed to see. A small, bitter laugh rose in Eddie’s throat, but he swallowed it down.
Hen’s gaze sharpened again, her words almost teasing, but there was a subtle edge to them. “Someone is bound to see what a great dad Buck could be—if they haven’t already.”
Eddie’s jaw tightened at the implication, and he could feel a flicker of something unfamiliar stir in his chest. Someone else. The idea was a hard one to digest, the thought of Buck starting this journey with someone else—it didn’t sit well with him. But what could he do now?
He didn’t respond. Instead, he stood frozen for a moment, allowing the silence to stretch between them, feeling the weight of it pressing down on him, suffocating him. Hen, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, let the tension hang for a moment longer before finally turning back to her coffee.
“Anyway, Buck’s got an appointment today. Guess we’ll see what happens next,” she said, her tone casual, but there was an undercurrent of something softer there, like she was offering him a lifeline.
Chimney, ever the one to lighten the mood, chuckled. “Knowing Buck, it’ll probably be something dramatic.”
But Eddie barely heard them. His thoughts were already elsewhere, spinning in a chaotic mess as the reality of the situation sunk in. Buck was moving forward—possibly without him—and the thought was enough to steal the breath from his lungs. What had he done?
***
The following days felt strange to Eddie, as though Buck had slipped away from him in a way that was hard to pinpoint. Buck wasn’t exactly distant—he was still his usual self, cracking jokes, helping out, and being the ever-present rock of the team. But something felt different, like a subtle shift that Eddie couldn’t quite place.
It wasn’t until a quiet afternoon at the station, a couple of weeks laters that Eddie started to pick up on the clues.
Eddie was grabbing some paperwork from the squad room when he overheard a conversation between Chimney and Hen. They were speaking in hushed tones, but Eddie’s hearing was sharp.
“... Yeah, Buck’s really serious about this, huh?” Chimney’s voice was laced with both surprise and curiosity.
Hen nodded. “Oh yeah, he’s been asking around. He talked to a few of the guys on the force, even Athena’s department. He’s looking for someone he can trust. Someone he knows, maybe even from the station. But if that doesn’t work out, he mentioned a clinic as a last resort.” She shrugged, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. His head snapped up, his hand tightening around the papers. Athena’s department?
“What?” he interjected, walking toward them. His voice came out harsher than he intended.
Chimney and Hen turned, startled by the sudden interruption.
“I didn’t think Buck was that serious about it,” Eddie said, trying to sound casual but failing.
Hen raised an eyebrow, her expression unreadable. “Oh, he’s serious. He wants to make it happen, Ed.”
Eddie’s chest tightened. Buck had been serious about this? Really serious?
“And some of the guys are open to it,” Chimney added, his voice almost casual. “I mean, Buck’s a great guy. Some of them have even agreed to help him out if the makes the decision. It’s wild.”
The words hung in the air, but Eddie didn’t hear them clearly. His mind was reeling. Buck’s been asking around... looking for someone... else? He felt a strange knot form in his stomach. The thought of Buck having a baby with someone else, let alone another guy, hit him harder than he could have anticipated.
“Did Buck say all of this?” Eddie managed to ask, though his voice sounded distant, detached.
Hen nodded. “A little. He’s been very clear that he wants to carry a baby—he’s done his research, Eds. He even mentioned that if you weren’t on board, he’d find someone else. But, you know, he didn’t want to push. But it’s something he’s been wanting for a long time. I think he’s starting to realize he might have to go it alone... or with someone else.” Her gaze was steady, and Eddie could tell she was trying to gauge his reaction.
The words sliced through Eddie like a blade. Buck didn’t want to pressure him, but Buck was moving forward. Asking around. Talking to other guys. He had considered other options—other men. Eddie’s mind raced with a dozen conflicting emotions. He didn’t know how to feel about it. The jealousy crept in unexpectedly. Buck was planning on having a baby with someone else. He felt a surge of protectiveness, of possessiveness, that he couldn’t explain.
Eddie felt the tension building, the frustration rising. This wasn’t how he expected it to go. He’d been too busy, too oblivious, and now it was too late. Buck had already started to look elsewhere.
***
Later that evening, Eddie found Buck in the kitchen, casually sipping a bottle of water. He looked over at Buck, who was absorbed in his phone, probably scrolling through more information on his search. The conversation earlier with Hen and Chimney kept replaying in Eddie’s mind, each word gnawing at him like a slow burn.
He couldn’t ignore it anymore. Buck had been looking for someone to have a baby with. But what hit him hardest was that he hadn’t been the first person Buck turned to. Eddie had always thought of them as family, as a team. They were partners in everything. So why had Buck been so quick to seek someone else?
“You really talked to Athena’s department?” Eddie’s voice was tighter than he intended, the frustration and confusion creeping into his tone.
Buck looked up from his phone, his expression softening when he saw Eddie standing there. His eyes flickered briefly, but he quickly looked away, focusing on the bottle in his hand. “Yeah. Just asking around, man. You know, trying to figure out what my options are.”
There was something about Buck’s demeanor that made Eddie’s chest tighten even more. He was trying to play it cool, but Eddie could tell there was more to it—something Buck wasn’t saying. Something Eddie wasn’t seeing.
“Some of the guys from the station said they’d help you out?” Eddie pressed, unable to stop the words from tumbling out. He was mad, but he wasn’t sure who he was mad at—himself, Buck, or the whole situation.
Buck shrugged, trying to act casual, but there was a hesitance in his movements. “Yeah, some of the guys said they were open to it. But nothing’s set in stone, Eddie. It’s just—options. If I can’t get someone I trust from the station, maybe Athena’s department. Or... a clinic.” His words hung in the air, the last part almost too quiet.
Eddie’s heart skipped a beat, the jealousy creeping up his spine. A clinic? Buck was considering it? It didn’t sit right. And what stung more was that Buck had already talked to other men about this. Other guys were involved. He wasn’t the one Buck had turned to. He had been thinking about other people, other options.
“You’re actually asking other guys?” Eddie’s voice was sharper than he meant, a surge of protectiveness rising within him. “You’re asking around about having a baby with someone else?”
Buck winced but didn’t back down. “Someone else? Is this...? I didn’t think you’d want to—” He paused, his eyes flickering, almost embarrassed. “I thought I’d ask around, see what my options are, Eddie. I thought... I thought you wouldn’t be into it. You’ve got your life, and I’ve got mine.”
Eddie’s frustration grew. “I am your life, Buck. We’re a team. You didn’t even ask me first.”
Buck’s expression hardened, his eyes finding Eddie’s. There was a vulnerability there, one Eddie hadn’t seen before. “I did ask you first,” Buck said, voice low. “Remember, a couple of weeks ago? When I told you I wanted to have a baby, I asked you if you’d help me. And you said it’d be weird if we had a kid together.”
Eddie froze, the words sinking in slowly. His heart skipped, a heavy weight settling in his chest. He had said it’d be weird. He had dismissed Buck’s request without even thinking about what it really meant.
“Buck,” Eddie started, his voice thick with regret, “I didn’t mean—” He swallowed, struggling to find the right words. “I just thought... I don’t know. I didn’t think it was something we should do. I thought it would complicate everything.”
Buck let out a shaky breath, as though he had been holding something in for a long time. “I didn’t want to pressure you into it, Eddie. But I thought... I thought I’d ask you first, because you’re my best friend. You’re the one I trust more than anyone else. But when you said that, I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to. So I started looking for other options. I didn’t want to make things weird between us.”
The weight of Buck’s words hit Eddie hard, settling in his gut like a stone. He had messed up. He had missed something important, something Buck had been quietly asking for. And now, here they were, with Buck turning to other people, asking around for help, and Eddie was left feeling helpless.
“I’m sorry, Buck,” Eddie said quietly, his voice filled with something raw, something he didn’t quite understand. “I didn’t realize... I didn’t understand what you were asking of me.”
Buck smiled faintly, but there was a sadness in his eyes that Eddie couldn’t ignore. “It’s fine, Eddie. I get it. You don’t want to and I didn’t want to push you. It’s ok, I get it.”
Eddie’s chest tightened as he looked at his best friend. He had pushed Buck away when Buck had needed him most. And now Buck was looking elsewhere, searching for someone who would help him fulfill his dream. Eddie couldn’t shake the feeling that he was losing something important—someone important.
“Buck, I—” Eddie started, but the words failed him. He didn’t know how to fix this, how to make up for the way he had let Buck down. He felt like he had missed his chance, like he had failed his best friend.
Buck gave him a small, understanding nod. “I’ll figure it out, Eddie. Like I always do.”
The silence between them was heavy, filled with unspoken words and things left unsaid. Eddie watched as Buck turned back to his phone, the moment between them shifting into something unspoken and uncertain.
Eddie walked away, his mind spinning. He wasn’t sure what to do next. He wasn’t sure how to fix this. But one thing was certain: He didn’t want to lose Buck. Not like this.
***
Buck sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands, the faint light of the late afternoon filtering through the curtains. He hadn’t realized how heavy they were, how much they carried. It felt like a lifetime ago, but it wasn’t. It was just a few years, a few months even, since he had first set eyes on Eddie Diaz. Since that first moment, Buck had been lost in a world he hadn’t known existed before. It wasn’t something he had ever planned on. It wasn’t something he had ever allowed himself to think could happen. But then Eddie had come into his life, and everything had changed.
He had tried to fight it at first. He had to, in a way. He had to bury it because Eddie was so clearly straight, so committed to his family, and Buck, well, Buck didn’t even know if he could be the kind of man someone like Eddie would want. There was always this part of him that was just so *there*, so *present*, trying to hold onto the idea that they were more than just partners at the firehouse, more than just friends. But it wasn’t true, was it?
Buck had spent so many nights lying awake, thinking about Eddie—the way he laughed, the way he smiled at Christopher, how he could make even the most terrible days feel just a little brighter with just a glance. Eddie had always been his rock. His partner. His friend. But deep down, Buck wanted more. He wanted to be the one Eddie turned to, the one he trusted the most. And sometimes, when their hands brushed, or when their eyes locked in a moment of shared understanding, Buck couldn’t help but hope. But he knew better than to hope too much.
For years, it had been the quiet ache in his chest. He had never told anyone how badly he wanted Eddie, how much he loved him, how long he’d loved him. He’d buried it under jokes and sarcastic comments, under the easy camaraderie they shared. He’d kept it locked up inside, too afraid of the consequences of admitting it out loud.
Then came the lawsuit. That was a time Buck would never forget, a time when his heart had been pulled in two different directions. It wasn’t just about the case, though that had hurt. What hurt the most was the distance it created between him and Eddie. He had been scared. So scared. Not of the case, not of the job, but of the idea that Eddie might actually be lost to him. That the bond they shared—whatever it was, however close it had been—might fade forever, shattered by something neither of them could control.
He’d spent those months in a constant state of fear, not just for himself but for the bond he had with Eddie. And when they had finally reunited, it was like something inside Buck had snapped back into place. The weight that had been crushing him had lifted. But even then, a part of him had remained silent. He couldn’t let go of the fact that he was in love with Eddie, even if Eddie didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t like he could just say it. The fear of rejection, the fear of losing what they had, had been too strong. So, he kept it hidden.
It was after the whole situation with the shooting, after Eddie’s recovery, when Buck had found out about Eddie’s will, that everything shifted. That’s when Buck had fallen even more deeply in love with Eddie than he ever thought possible. When Buck learned that Eddie had put his name down as his emergency contact, his beneficiary—when he found out that Eddie trusted him enough, believed in him enough, to make him part of his future in that way—it was like the world opened up to him in a way he had never imagined. Eddie had cared for him, in a way that went deeper than words, deeper than actions. It wasn’t just a friendship. It wasn’t just a partnership. It was something more, something that Buck hadn’t dared to believe existed between them.
And still, Buck had stayed silent.
What could he say? How could he tell Eddie that he had been in love with him for years? That he had spent more nights than he could count imagining what it would be like to be the one Eddie loved? The thought was enough to make his chest ache, enough to leave him breathless with longing.
Then there was Christopher. Sweet, amazing Christopher. Buck loved him like he was his own. That bond they shared was undeniable. He loved that kid more than he could ever explain. More than he ever thought was possible to love a child that wasn’t his own. There were days when it felt like Christopher had been in his life forever, when Buck couldn’t remember a time before the little boy had stolen his heart with his quick smile and innocent trust.
But that love for Christopher, that deep, parental love, had only made Buck’s feelings for Eddie even more complicated. He wanted a family. He wanted something he could call his own. And maybe it was selfish, maybe it was wrong, but a part of Buck had imagined, just imagined, what it would be like to have a child with Eddie. To create something with him. To have someone who was a part of them both. He knew it was a long shot. He knew it might never happen. Eddie had always seemed so *straight*, so locked into his role as a father to Christopher, a role that didn’t have room for anything more.
But Buck had dreamt about it.
It wasn’t that he was desperate for a child, though. Not exactly. But after everything that had happened—after the years of longing and hiding, of wishing for something that could never be—Buck had thought a baby would be a way to give love. To have someone who was his, who would love him no matter what. A little human to love and protect. And if that little human was somehow part of Eddie—well, that would be an extra blessing, something Buck had never dared hope for.
Maybe it wasn’t the right reason to want a child, but that’s what Buck had thought. That’s what had driven him to take the step of considering it. He wanted to love something that was his, to have a family of his own. And if that family could somehow include Eddie, then maybe, just maybe, it would be the chance he had been waiting for all these years. Maybe it would make all the pain and longing worth it.
But now, here he was, sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at his hands, knowing that he was moving forward with this decision. He didn’t know what would come of it. He didn’t know if Eddie would ever feel the same way. But he did know that he couldn’t keep waiting forever. He couldn’t keep living in this limbo, in this silent love for a man who might never see him the way he wanted him to.
Buck’s breath hitched in his throat, his heart aching with the realization that he might always be just *Buck* to Eddie. But that didn’t change how he felt. It didn’t change the fact that Buck loved him, and that, no matter what, he was willing to take this step. Because even if Eddie never saw him the way he wanted, Buck still had love to give. And if that love could somehow bring a new life into the world, maybe it would be enough.
Just maybe.
***
The firehouse buzzed with its usual activity, the laughter of familiar voices echoing against the concrete walls, the scent of coffee mixing with the faint smell of smoke from a training exercise earlier that day. Eddie had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when he spotted Buck across the room, chatting animatedly with one of the firefighters from another shift, a guy named Matt. They were laughing about something, their voices a little too loud, and Eddie couldn’t help but notice the way Matt was leaning in just a little closer than what was strictly necessary.
It was nothing. He told himself that. Nothing at all.
But there was a knot forming in Eddie’s stomach, something tight and uncomfortable that he couldn’t quite shake. He watched as Buck gestured with his hands, talking excitedly about his plans for the baby he wanted to have. Eddie couldn’t make out the specifics, but he didn’t need to. The way Matt was looking at Buck, with that eager, almost hopeful expression, made Eddie’s stomach twist even more.
Buck was always the one to attract attention. It wasn’t new. He had that effortless charm, that infectious smile, the kind of energy that drew people in. Eddie had always known that. But the thought of someone else being the one to stand beside Buck while he pursued this dream—this dream of becoming a father—made something inside Eddie flare up with a possessiveness that was almost raw, almost too much to bear.
Without thinking, he found himself walking over to them, his feet carrying him forward with a sense of urgency that felt both foreign and familiar. He had to know what was going on. He had to hear what Buck was saying to Matt.
As he reached them, Buck turned to face him, his expression lighting up in that way that always made Eddie’s heart race. But then, as he saw Eddie’s face, Buck’s smile faltered just a little, like he could sense the shift in the air.
“Hey, Eddie,” Buck greeted, his tone lighter than usual, though there was a hint of nervousness in his voice.
Eddie couldn’t contain the words that bubbled up, the frustration that had been eating at him since he saw Buck and Matt talking. His voice was tight, his words more clipped than he intended. “You’re really serious about this, huh? About having a baby with someone else?”
Buck blinked, caught off guard. The shift in Eddie’s tone was palpable, and Eddie immediately regretted letting the words fly out. He watched as Buck’s expression turned to one of confusion, followed by a quick flash of something Eddie didn’t quite understand—maybe hurt.
“Eddie, what—” Buck started, but Eddie cut him off.
“You’re going to do this, and now some other guy’s going to be part of it? A family?” Eddie’s voice cracked at the end, the bitterness lacing his words before he could even stop it. “I just... I can’t do this, Buck.”
There was a moment of silence between them. Matt seemed to sense the tension, and awkwardly cleared his throat before backing off, muttering something about needing to check in on the equipment.
Eddie felt his face burn, the words spilling out of him faster than he could catch them. “You really think it’s a good idea to have a baby with someone else, and I’m just supposed to sit back and watch? To just let it happen?”
Buck’s eyes flashed with something Eddie couldn’t quite identify—frustration, maybe confusion, or was it hurt? But then, with a voice that was sharper than Eddie had ever heard, Buck snapped back, his words biting.
“Are you jealous, Eddie?” Buck asked, his eyes narrowing just slightly, a challenge in his gaze that Eddie wasn’t prepared for. “Is that what this is? You’re jealous that I want a family of my own, that I want to give love to someone else?”
Eddie froze, his breath catching in his chest. It felt like the ground had been ripped out from under him. Jealous? Was he jealous? The answer was right there, staring him in the face, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He couldn’t say the words, not like this. Not in the middle of the firehouse, not with the possibility of everything unraveling around them.
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His mind was racing, but his throat was tight. The truth was there, threatening to spill out, but he couldn’t face it. He couldn’t face the reality of what that would mean. If he admitted it, it would change everything.
Without a word, Eddie turned and walked away, his steps mechanical, his heart pounding in his chest. He needed to think. He needed air. He needed space to figure this out before he completely lost control.
He made his way outside, the cool evening air hitting his face as he walked toward the parking lot. It was almost too quiet out here. He leaned against the side of the firehouse, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to breathe through the panic that was tightening in his chest.
What had he done? What was happening to him? He couldn’t understand what had just happened, what had just been revealed to him. Was he really jealous? Was that it? Was that the reason he couldn’t bear the thought of Buck with someone else, with another person involved in his plans, in his life?
It didn’t make sense. It couldn’t make sense. Because Eddie had spent so long telling himself that he was just fine, that things were just fine between him and Buck, that they were just partners, just friends. But now, with Buck’s words hanging in the air, Eddie couldn’t help but face the truth that had been gnawing at him for years.
He was in love with Buck.
The realization hit him like a truck, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what to do with it. How could he? He had never allowed himself to think about it like this, never let himself even imagine what it would be like to cross that line with Buck. He had never allowed himself the luxury of dreaming that maybe, just maybe, Buck could have been feeling the same way.
Eddie let out a slow breath, his hands shaking slightly as he rubbed his face.
That’s when he heard Bobby’s voice behind him.
“Eddie?”
Eddie didn’t turn around, didn’t even look. He just nodded, trying to steady his racing heartbeat. Bobby knew. Bobby always knew.
“You okay?” Bobby’s voice was low, careful, as though he could already tell something had shifted.
Eddie finally turned, facing his captain. His voice was rough, thick with emotions he hadn’t been able to express before. “I don’t know what’s happening, Bobby. I just... I feel like I’ve lost control. I don’t even know what to think anymore.”
Bobby studied Eddie for a moment, his expression thoughtful but gentle. “That’s a lot to carry around,” he said quietly. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous gesture. “I’ve always been in control. I’ve always known what I wanted, or at least I thought I did. But now... now I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m even in control of myself.”
Bobby’s gaze softened, his tone becoming more reflective. “You’re not supposed to have it all figured out right away, Eddie. It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to not have the answers. But... I think you’re realizing something important, even if you’re not ready to say it out loud.”
Eddie shifted uncomfortably, still processing everything. “What do you mean?”
“Is this about Buck?” Bobby asked and Eddie silently nodded.
Bobby leaned back slightly, giving Eddie space to breathe as he continued. “I think you’ve known for a while now. You’ve known that Buck means more to you than just a partner, just a friend. You’ve spent a lot of time with him, fought beside him, helped him through some of the hardest times in his life. And all of that... all of that means something.”
Eddie’s throat tightened, and he looked away, unwilling to meet Bobby’s eyes. “I’m not sure I can handle it, Bobby. What if I’m wrong? What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Then you deal with it, Eddie,” Bobby said simply, his voice steady. “But don’t let fear stop you from facing what you feel. And don’t let the idea of him with someone else make you ignore what’s been right in front of you the whole time.”
Eddie took a long, shaky breath. His mind was still spinning, but Bobby’s words hit him with a clarity he hadn’t expected. Maybe he didn’t have all the answers, and maybe he wasn’t ready to speak it all out loud yet—but there was something here, something real, that he couldn’t keep running from.
“I need to think,” Eddie murmured, his voice quiet but resolute.
Bobby nodded. “Take your time. But remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. You’ve got people who care about you.”
Eddie nodded slowly, his chest feeling a little less tight. Maybe this wasn’t something he could figure out overnight, but at least now, he was starting to understand it. He had to face the truth—and soon.
***
Buck was always an open book when it came to Eddie. He’d spent so many years walking on the edge of things—on the edge of friendship, on the edge of something more—that sometimes it felt like he’d become a bit numb to the uncertain boundaries between them. He knew Eddie, knew how to read him, how to anticipate his reactions, and for the most part, he felt like Eddie had always known him just as well.
But right now, as Buck talked with Matt, one of the younger firefighters from another shift, about his plans to have a baby, he couldn’t help but feel the weight of Eddie’s gaze from across the room. He tried to ignore it at first—tried to focus on Matt’s questions and his own nervous ramblings about parenthood. It wasn’t exactly something he was used to talking about with people other than Eddie. But the more Eddie stood there, the more Buck could feel the tension between them, even from a distance.
When Eddie finally walked over to them, Buck’s stomach twisted. He could tell immediately something was off. Eddie’s usual easy confidence was missing, replaced by something darker, something harder. His voice came out tight, clipped, and the way he looked at Buck—it was almost like he didn’t recognize him anymore.
“You’re really serious about this, huh? About having a baby with someone else?” Eddie’s words cut through the air, sharp and unforgiving.
Buck froze. His heart skipped a beat. He’d seen Eddie angry before, seen him frustrated, but this was different. There was a pain in his voice that Buck hadn’t expected, a depth to it that made his own chest tighten.
He opened his mouth to respond, to reassure Eddie, to explain that it was just something he was thinking about—something he was still figuring out—but before he could, Eddie’s words came rushing out, faster than Buck could keep up.
“You’re going to do this, and now some other guy’s going to be part of it? A family?” Eddie’s voice cracked at the end, and Buck felt it hit him in the gut, the hurt in Eddie’s words like a punch. “I just... I can’t do this, Buck.”
It was like a switch had flipped. The anger, the frustration, all of it suddenly directed at Buck, and it left him reeling. He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to respond. Everything Eddie was saying was coming at him so fast, and Buck was struggling to keep up. It wasn’t just about the baby anymore. It was about something deeper. Something more complicated.
And then, before he could even process it all, the words slipped out of his mouth, sharp and full of challenge. “Are you jealous, Eddie?” The question was out before he could stop it, before he could reel it back in. He didn’t expect it to be the thing that would make Eddie freeze, but there it was. The way Eddie’s eyes widened, the way his breath caught in his throat—it hit Buck like a wave, crashing over him before he could even react.
He didn’t expect Eddie to react like this. He never thought Eddie would freeze up like that, his entire body going stiff, the words seemingly stuck in his throat.
For a second, everything went silent. Buck’s heart raced, and the world felt like it slowed down, the air heavy between them. He didn’t know what he was expecting—maybe Eddie to laugh it off, to brush him off as he always did with their little jabs and teasing. But Eddie didn’t do that. Instead, he just... froze.
And then, as quickly as the tension had built, Eddie turned on his heel and walked away. No words. No explanation. Just the sound of Eddie’s footsteps echoing in the room as he retreated into the silence.
Buck stood there, staring after him, completely thrown off guard. His heart pounded in his chest, and for the first time, he couldn’t make sense of anything that had just happened. He hadn’t meant to hurt Eddie. He hadn’t meant to make him feel like this. But something about the way Eddie had walked away, something about the look on his face before he turned, left Buck feeling like he had missed something—something huge.
He didn’t know what had just happened. He didn’t know why Eddie had reacted the way he did.
He looked back at Matt, but the other man had already walked off, sensing that something had gone horribly wrong.
Buck ran a hand through his hair, pacing for a moment before finally muttering to himself. “What the hell just happened?”
The room felt suddenly smaller. Empty. The weight of Eddie’s retreat hung over him like a cloud. It was like he had triggered something he wasn’t ready for, like his simple question had exposed something Eddie wasn’t prepared to face.
He wasn’t sure what to do. How could he fix this? What had he even done? The thought of Eddie being hurt by something he’d said gnawed at him, but there was also something else, something that Buck couldn’t quite put his finger on. Was there something deeper here? Something more than just a knee-jerk reaction about the baby?
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the door swing open, and he glanced up to see Bobby walking in, his expression one of confusion. Buck didn’t say anything at first, his mouth dry and his mind spinning with a thousand questions that didn’t have answers.
“Buck,” Bobby said softly, stepping toward him. “What happened? I saw Eddie leave with a weird look on his face.”
Buck didn’t answer immediately. He couldn’t. There were too many things tangled up in his chest, too many emotions swirling around to make sense of any of it.
Bobby stayed quiet for a moment, giving him time to collect his thoughts. When Buck finally looked at him, his voice was small, uncertain. “I don’t know, Bobby. I think I messed up. I think I said something to him that I shouldn’t... and now he’s gone. I didn’t think he’d react like that. I didn’t think he’d...”
“Storm out?” Bobby finished for him, his voice calm and steady.
Buck nodded, his shoulders slumping slightly. “Yeah. I didn’t expect that. I thought he’d laugh it off, or yell at me, or something. But he just... walked away. And now I’m wondering if I’ve done something I can’t fix.”
Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder, his voice gentle. “You might not know how to fix it right now, but you will. You just have to give him time. But Buck, listen to me—you can’t ignore what’s happening here. Not anymore.”
Buck swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Bobby’s words settling in. “I don’t know what this is, Bobby. All I know is that something feels different, and I can’t ignore it either.”
Bobby gave him a reassuring squeeze before stepping back. “Just don’t let it eat at you. And when you’re ready, talk to him. The real conversation. Don’t let fear stand in your way. You might be surprised at what you find on the other side.”
Buck nodded, though the uncertainty still lingered in his chest. He didn’t know how to fix this, or what exactly was expecting him... on the other side.
***
The days had slipped by in a haze of missed glances and awkward silences. The connection between Buck and Eddie that had once been a steady pulse, a rhythm of shared moments and unspoken understanding, had gradually thinned to something fragile, delicate. They worked together, sure, but the camaraderie was gone. Their interactions had become professional, polite, even distant at times. Everyone in the 118 had noticed.
Buck had resigned himself to it. What else could he do? Eddie had made it clear in the way he’d walked away that day—Buck had messed up. And now the chasm between them seemed to be widening, stretching further than either of them could bridge. He wasn’t sure if Eddie even wanted that bridge to be built anymore.
Buck had thrown himself into his work, into the plans for his future—because there was no turning back now. He’d started looking into donors, into clinics, into everything he needed to make his dream of having a family a reality. He had to. It wasn’t about Eddie anymore, not in the way it had been before. It couldn’t be.
And so, he pushed forward.
Eddie on the other hand...
That evening, Eddie was at the stove, stirring something simple for dinner. Christopher was seated at the counter, his small legs swinging back and forth as he looked at his father. Eddie could feel his son’s gaze, that quiet watchfulness, but he didn’t look up—he couldn’t. The air felt thick with unspoken questions, the kind he didn’t know how to answer, even though he should have.
“Dad,” Christopher said, breaking the silence. His voice was soft, but there was a certain innocence to it that made Eddie’s chest tighten. “How come Buck hasn’t come over for dinner in a while?”
Eddie paused, his hand stilling over the pot. He didn’t immediately respond, unsure of what to say. He glanced over at Christopher, who was watching him intently, waiting for an answer. His son was too young to understand the complicated feelings swirling inside Eddie, but Eddie could see it in the way Christopher’s brow furrowed, the slight pout of his lips. He was concerned, and Eddie hated that.
“Buck’s been... busy,” Eddie said, his voice tight and not entirely truthful.
“Busy?” Christopher echoed, clearly not convinced. “But he’s always been around before. Why isn’t he coming over anymore? Did something happen?”
Eddie sighed, rubbing his hand across his face. He wasn’t sure how to explain this, how to tell his son that Buck wasn’t coming around because Eddie wasn’t sure if he could face him anymore. It was easier to pretend that things were okay, that things hadn’t changed.
“He’s been working on some things, buddy,” Eddie said, trying to sound nonchalant, but he could hear the strain in his own voice. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t know how to tell Christopher that things were just... complicated.
Christopher, ever the perceptive child, didn’t seem to buy it. “Is it because of the baby thing?”
Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of the baby. He didn’t know how to explain it to Christopher, not when he couldn’t even understand it himself. He hesitated, his hand still holding the wooden spoon. “What do you mean?”
“You know,” Christopher said, matter-of-factly, “the thing with Buck wanting to have a baby. Is he... is he still looking for a dad for his baby?”
The question hung in the air, too direct, too innocent. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat as he tried to process it, unsure of how to answer. He hadn’t expected Christopher to be thinking about it so much, but now that he was asking, Eddie realized how much he’d been avoiding the conversation.
“Well,” Eddie said, his voice wavering slightly, “he is, yeah. He’s been trying to figure that out.”
Christopher’s face lit up as he thought about it. “Why can’t you be his baby’s dad?” he asked with an earnestness that nearly broke Eddie’s heart. “That way Buck could come live with us forever. And we’d have a baby brother! Wouldn’t that be great?”
The words hit Eddie like a punch to the gut. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His son was looking up at him with wide, trusting eyes, offering the simplest, purest solution to the mess Eddie had been trying to make sense of. It was so innocent, so pure—how could Eddie possibly explain the complexity of it all to Christopher?
Eddie swallowed hard, his mind racing. He wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to face what his son was asking. He wasn’t ready to admit what he was feeling, what he was afraid of.
“Christopher,” Eddie said softly, trying to keep his voice steady, “sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. It’s... complicated.”
Christopher’s face scrunched up in confusion. “But why? I like Buck. And you like him, too. He’s already like family. Why not make it real?”
Eddie closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his son’s words pressing down on him. Why not make it real? The thought burned in his chest, a painful reminder of all the things he wasn’t sure he could give Christopher. Of all the things he wasn’t sure he could offer Buck. He had let things slip so far out of his control, and now even his son was asking questions he wasn’t ready to answer.
“I know you like Buck, buddy. We all do,” Eddie said, his voice softening, the words barely a whisper. “But sometimes things aren’t as simple as just wanting them to be. Sometimes we have to be patient. And we have to understand that... things change.”
Christopher tilted his head, the innocence in his gaze still unbroken. “But I don’t want them to change. I want Buck to be here all the time. I want a brother. Is that too much to ask?”
Eddie’s heart ached. How could he explain to Christopher that what the boy wanted was something Eddie himself wasn’t sure he could give him? How could he tell his son that sometimes the person you loved wasn’t ready for what you needed, or that the family you imagined wasn’t the one you were going to get?
“I know, buddy,” Eddie said softly. “I know. But sometimes... we can’t always get what we want. Even if we really, really want it.”
Christopher didn’t say anything else, just nodded like he understood. But Eddie could see the quiet disappointment in his son’s eyes, and it broke him a little more inside. He wasn’t sure how long the silence lasted, but it felt like an eternity.
But for the first time in a long while, he felt the weight of what he’d been denying. The family he could’ve had, the family he might still have. And maybe, just maybe, the family he could have had... with Buck.
As they sat down to dinner, the silence between them felt heavier than it had in a long time. But Eddie couldn’t stop the thought from spinning in his mind: What if it could be that simple? What if he could be the one?
***
The day was overcast, and a thin drizzle of rain hung in the air as Eddie found himself pacing outside the medical center, his heart pounding in his chest. He wasn’t sure what had brought him here—perhaps it was the weight of Christopher’s innocent words, or maybe it was the realization that Buck was really going through with it. That Buck was about to move forward with his plans, and Eddie wasn’t sure if he could stand by and watch it happen. Not when it had all been slipping through his fingers.
He was staring down at his shoes when he heard the familiar voice. “Eddie?”
His pulse skipped in his throat as he looked up, finding Buck standing just a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, his expression unreadable. There was something guarded about him now, something distant that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was because they’d stopped talking—no real conversations, just passing moments. The distance between them had grown, and Eddie wasn’t sure how to bridge it. But today, today he was going to try.
Buck’s brow furrowed when he saw the look on Eddie’s face. “You okay?”
Eddie took a deep breath, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat. This was it. He could feel it, the way his hands were shaking. He hadn’t planned on doing this, but now that he was standing here, he realized there was no way he could keep pretending. No way he could let Buck walk away from him. Not when it was clear what he felt.
“No, I’m not okay,” Eddie said, his voice quieter than usual. He took a step forward, closing the distance between them. Buck’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t move away.
“What do you mean?” Buck asked, his voice a little strained, as if he was already bracing for something.
Eddie swallowed again, his mind racing. He wanted to say so many things, but the words wouldn’t come. All he knew was that Buck didn’t need anyone else to be the father of his child. Eddie was standing right here, and he wasn’t going to let Buck go through with this, not when everything Eddie wanted had always been within reach, if only he’d known it.
“You don’t need anyone else to be the father of your child, Buck,” Eddie said, his voice thick with emotion. “I want to be that person. I want this... with you.”
Buck blinked, his eyes flickering between disbelief and confusion. “Eddie... What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about me,” Eddie said, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving Buck’s. “I want to be with you. Not just for the kid, but for you. I want to be your partner, Buck. I want to help raise your kid, help raise my kid, our kid. I want to be the person you turn to. I want it all, Buck, with you.”
There was a long silence between them, and Eddie could feel the intensity of the moment—feel it in his chest as if his heart was going to burst from the weight of what he’d just said. He could feel Buck’s eyes on him, searching, trying to process it all. He wasn’t sure if Buck would understand, if he’d reject him, if this was going to end their friendship. But he had to say it. He had to lay it all out there before he lost his chance.
Buck shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Eddie, you’re... you’re just confused. I get it. You’re scared about this whole thing, and now you’re thinking... thinking you want to fix it. But we’re fine, right? We’ve always been fine, we don’t need to complicate things. We can just get back to the way we were. We can still be best friends, we can still work together. Nothing has to change.”
Eddie shook his head, stepping even closer now, his voice firm but gentle. “I do want our friendship back, Buck. But I want something more. I want you. I want us. I want... I want to be a father to Christopher, and I want to be a father to your child. I want to be in your life, in every way that matters. Not as a friend, not as some guy you turn to when you need help—though I’ll always be that, of course—but as something more. I think I have always known but was to afraid to admit it. I want to be your person, the way you’ve been mine.”
Buck’s breath hitched, his chest rising and falling faster. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped, as if weighing Eddie’s words. For a moment, everything felt suspended in time. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them standing there in the rain, hearts exposed.
“Eddie,” Buck said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t... I don’t know if I can believe you. This is all... it’s too much, too fast. We’ve had so much happen between us already, and now... you’re telling me this?”
“I’m not asking for you to just believe me, Buck. I’m telling you the truth,” Eddie said, his voice stronger now, his gaze unwavering. “I know I messed up. I know I’ve been scared. But I’m not scared anymore. Not about this. I want to build something with you. A family, a life... everything.”
Buck’s eyes softened then, a flicker of warmth beginning to creep back into them. He took a small step toward Eddie, his hand twitching at his side as if he wasn’t sure whether he should reach out or not. Eddie waited, his heart racing in his chest.
“I don’t know if I can give you everything you want, Eddie,” Buck said, his voice rough. “But I know I want you too. More than I ever realized. More than I’ve been willing to admit.”
Eddie felt the tightness in his chest loosen as the words settled between them. There was something in Buck’s eyes now, something that Eddie had hoped for but hadn’t dared to expect. A flicker of hope. Of possibility.
“You don’t have to give me everything,” Eddie said softly. “Just... let me be with you. Let me be a part of this. We can figure it out together, Buck. One step at a time.”
Buck nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing, his breath evening out. “Okay. One step at a time,” he echoed, his voice thick with emotion.
Eddie’s heart swelled at the sight of the vulnerability in Buck’s expression, the subtle relief in his words. There was so much unspoken between them, so many emotions swirling in the space that had once felt so distant. The years of friendship, the hurt, the yearning, and now—this. This possibility of something more.
Unable to hold back any longer, Eddie closed the distance between them, his hand finding Buck’s cheek with a tenderness that felt like it had been a long time coming. Buck’s breath hitched at the touch, his gaze flickering from Eddie’s hand to his face.
Without thinking, Eddie leaned in, his lips meeting Buck’s with a softness that was everything he had been holding back. The kiss was slow at first, hesitant, as if they were both testing the waters after so much silence. But then Buck responded, his hands coming up to rest gently on Eddie’s chest, pulling him closer.
Eddie’s chest tightened, but in the best way possible. This wasn’t just a kiss—it was a release. It was everything they hadn’t said before, everything they’d been too afraid to voice, coming to life in this moment.
When they finally pulled away, their foreheads rested against each other, breaths mingling. Eddie felt like he could finally exhale, like the weight of the past few weeks was lifting, piece by piece. He didn’t have all the answers, and they didn’t know what the future would bring. But for the first time, he felt sure of one thing.
“We’ll figure it out,” Eddie whispered, a smile tugging at his lips as he looked into Buck’s eyes.
Buck smiled back, his hands still on Eddie’s chest, grounding him in the moment. “Yeah. Together.”
And for the first time in weeks, Eddie felt like he could breathe again.
***
The atmosphere at the station was different now. It wasn’t the same strained tension that had filled the air in the days following the awkward distance between Eddie and Buck. There was something lighter about their interactions—more genuine smiles, softer touches, and glances that lingered a little longer than they used to. But despite the change, both of them knew they had one last hurdle to clear before they could move forward.
Buck walked into the break room first, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked around for Eddie. He had that nervous energy again, the kind he always got when something important was about to happen, but this time, it felt different. The nerves weren’t from uncertainty—they were from the anticipation of what was to come. Eddie, walking in just behind him, gave him a small reassuring smile. It was enough to settle Buck’s nerves for the moment.
“Bobby’s expecting us,” Eddie said quietly, his voice more serious than usual. “Ready?”
Buck nodded. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was expecting this meeting to be—maybe just a formality to clear the air, a check-box that they had to tick for HR regulations. But deep down, it was more than that. This was them, officially acknowledging their relationship in front of the person who had been like a father to them both.
As they approached Bobby’s office, they both took a deep breath and knocked. Bobby’s voice called from inside, “Come in!”
The door creaked open, and both men stepped inside. Bobby was sitting behind his desk, paperwork scattered in front of him, but as soon as he saw them, his eyes brightened. He gestured to the chairs in front of him. “Alright, guys. Let’s make this official. Sit down.”
They both took their seats, Eddie glancing at Buck before locking eyes with Bobby. It felt surreal to be sitting there, ready to disclose everything that had been kept quiet for so long.
Bobby studied them for a long moment, his expression soft. “You two have been walking around like you’re the only ones in the world who know what’s going on. It’s been obvious for a while now, hasn’t it?”
Buck chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, guess we’re not as subtle as we thought.”
Bobby’s eyes softened. “You’re family to me, both of you. Always have been. And if this is what makes you happy, then I’m on board. You know HR regulations, though,” Bobby added, shifting slightly in his chair. “We just have to make it official. This meeting is a formality.”
Eddie nodded. “We know. Just... wanted to make sure everything was squared away before things went too far.”
Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Too far? You’re already planning a family, aren’t you?”
There was a brief, stunned silence. Buck and Eddie exchanged a look before Buck took a breath and nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, the sincerity in his voice evident. “We’re still going to have a baby.”
Bobby’s smile was wide, his eyes lighting up with genuine happiness. “Well, damn. I’m happy for you two. I think it’s clear to everyone that you’ve both been through a lot together, and I’m sure you’ll be great at it. You’ve got each other, and you’ve got Christopher to help guide you through it all.”
Eddie’s face softened, a small smile tugging at his lips as he glanced at Buck. “We’ve been through a lot,” Eddie admitted. “And I think we’ve finally realized that we’re better off together. Not just for us, but for our family.”
Buck leaned back in his chair, his gaze thoughtful. “Yeah, it’s not just about us anymore. We’re starting a new chapter, together.”
Bobby nodded, his smile genuine. “I’m glad to hear that. You’ve both earned it. And as far as HR goes, I’ll make sure everything gets filed properly. You two don’t have to worry about any of that. Just focus on what comes next—the baby, the future. And if you need anything, you know where to find me. Both of you.”
The weight that had settled on Buck’s chest all week seemed to lift, and for the first time in a while, he felt at peace. Eddie’s presence beside him, the warmth of his hand resting on Buck’s knee, reminded him that this wasn’t just a formality—it was the beginning of something new. Something real.
“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck said quietly, his voice full of appreciation.
“Yeah, really,” Eddie added, his tone sincere. “We appreciate it.”
Bobby gave a soft chuckle, his eyes twinkling. “Like I said, I’m just glad you two worked this out. You’ve been through enough. You deserve some happiness.”
Buck was going to be a father. Eddie was going to be a partner, a co-parent, a part of something bigger than either of them could have imagined on their own.
And as they left Bobby’s office, the world felt a little lighter, a little more open. There were still challenges ahead, of course, but they’d faced worse. Together. And now, they had a future to look forward to—one filled with love, family, and all the possibilities that came with it.
