Aromas
I pull the zipper up all the way through the fake yellow fur and slide the head on over my real head. I look at my reflection in the mirror they have in this closet I’m allowed to change in.
I have to laugh. I look ridiculous, rabbit ears and all. At least no one can recognize me in here. I would die if someone did. It’s bad enough that I’m doing this. It would be infinitely worse if anyone knew I was.
I pick up my easter basket, step out of the closet, and turn the sign to say “The Bunny Is Here!” before taking a seat in my Easter throne. Two kids are already lined up waiting for their chance to sit in the lap of the Easter Bunny. I don’t even like kids.
My three hour shift is not nearly as bad as I was dreading. Most of the kids were actually kind of cute. Except for the one who kept pulling on my ears. And one was very squirmy the whole time he sat in my lap. I didn’t like him.
I probably have a kid with me less than half my shift. Otherwise, it’s just boring. While being taunted by the smell of cookies. Off to my side is a little storefront selling cookies. I could smell the chocolate chip ones. And some sort of ginger cookie. The smells are so enticing. The aroma fills this whole corner of the mall.
When I have a longer lull with no kids in sight, I look more carefully at the store. TLC. Must be a new chain I haven’t heard of. Just one guy manning the store. He’s a little older than me. Not your usual fast food worker. Must be a real loser. Then I think about what I’ve been reduced to doing.
Another little girl comes up for her turn. She’s obviously terrified of me. I talk to her while she stands a few feet from me, holding her mother’s hand. Her excitement talking to me is palpable, even if I am scary. When her turn’s over, she turns around and starts walking away with her mother. But she turns around again, runs back to me and scrambles into my lap. She gives me a big hug. I push the shutter button while she’s hugging me. I hope the picture comes out well.
She’s beaming with pride when she climbs back down. I didn’t imagine such a little face could hold so much smile. Mom grins at me, then looks at her daughter with her own expression of glee.
Back to watching cookie man. It’s easier than thinking about my own problems. He seems to start another batch every fifteen minutes or so. Maybe half a dozen at a time? Seems to be about what he sells every fifteen minutes. It means the cookies are always fresh out of the oven when you buy them. And they constantly refresh the smell of fresh baked cookies.
They should make those kind of aromas illegal. Unfair marketing. I’ve been trying to be careful with frivolous spending, but I’m going to have to buy a cookie when I get done here. They smell too good to ignore.
Oh well, here comes another brat being towed along by his mother. He looks a little too old for the Easter Bunny. I’d guess around nine, maybe ten. Doesn’t look like it’s his choice to come here. He reluctantly climbs up into my lap. I try to talk to him for a minute before I push the shutter to take our picture. But the beast grabs my breast. I push him off, saying sternly, “That’s not okay.”
He’s leering at me.
But his mother says, “He’s just a little kid, he didn’t know what he was doing.”
That leer absolutely tells me he did.
“I’m sorry ma’am, but I will not put up with that. You can call for a refund if you want.”
“You bet I’m going to call. Who’s your boss? I’m going to complain.”
Sigh. “I think all the info is on the sign up front. Be my guest.”
Bitch! I think to myself. But I know enough not to say that as she pulls the urchin away. He turns back towards me and makes a kissy face at me as they walk away. What a way to spoil all the good feelings from the previous little girl.
At two, my first shift is over. Now I have a two hour break, then I do it all over from four to seven. I go back into the closet built into the back of my set and peel off my bunny suit. I’m wearing a pair of slacks and a nice short sleeve cotton top. It feels good to be loose and airy after wearing the faux fur for three hours.
Now for a cookie. I brought a PB&J, but I can afford to supplement that with a cookie. I walk over to the cookie shop. It looks like they have chocolate chip, molasses ginger, and oatmeal raisin. I’m about to ask about walnuts when I notice the sign saying they’re 100% nut and peanut free. That makes it easier.
The cookies are large and cost $1.79 each (or two for $2.99). I’m tempted to get two, but I control myself and say, “Can I have a molasses ginger cookie?”
“I’ll hop right to it.”
He didn’t just say that to me, did he? I frown and sigh. I glance over at my Easter throne.He has a clear view of me in the throne and can certainly see me coming in and out of the back. I guess at least one person knows my secret identity.
He’s just put the cookie in a bag. He holds the bag in his fingers and brings both hands under his chin and literally hops back to the cash register. He’s staring at me, his hands and the bag still under his chin. He’s just barely opening and closing his mouth, but doing it very quickly, I guess it’s some sort of rabbit imitation.
I’m trying to glare, but I start laughing. I can’t help it. He looks so ridiculous. I give him my debit card and he rings me out and hands me my cookie. I’m still chuckling to myself when I go find a table to sit and eat my sandwich and cookie and drink my water.
I relax at the table reading and nibbling my cookie until it’s time for my next three hour shift to start. The cookie is really good. I never see TLC get swamped, but every time I take a break from my book, he has a customer or two.
Finally, it’s time to re-bunny myself. Back into the closet to change into my alter-ego and start accepting customers again. The cookie man has no customers at the moment and sees me walking towards the closet. He puts his two hands over his head like bunny ears.
I frown at him. I’m unhappy enough about doing this job to not need his grief.
My second stint as a bunny is fine. Not quite as many kids, which becomes pretty boring, and none that are really notable like the sweet little girl or the satyr in disguise. When I’m coming out of my closet, having returned to my real self, I look over at TLC. The cookie man waves to me. I smile and wave back.
I find my car in the parking lot. It’s not hard on a Wednesday evening, especially since almost no one comes to the mall anymore.
I love my car. It’s a blue BMW M4. I bought it, well leased it, when I got my promotion seventeen months ago. It was my celebration. Twenty six and a team lead for an important group. I was so proud of myself. And of this car. I was sure I was going places.
I just didn’t expect one of those places to be the fucking unemployment office. Some genius up the chain somewhere decided that some AI could replace our entire group. My boss apparently argued that I was too valuable to the company to let go of me completely; I should be given an opportunity to transfer. Nope, he was told, we were bringing the AI in to cut costs and letting people transfer would not cut costs. The entire group must be axed.
I can feel the tears starting. Do they understand how hard it is to find another job right now? I look at the steering wheel my hands are on. How am I going to keep making the payments on this? How am I going to afford my rent? I’m burning through my savings way too quickly for the way the search is going.
I can’t even afford to end the lease. Even then I’d need to buy something else to drive. I don’t see a way out of this. I’m just sobbing now. I have no idea what I’m going to do. This stupid Easter Bunny job is a band aid on a gashing wound; I’m still losing blood way too quickly.
I just sit in the car and sob in despair for maybe forty five minutes.
I’m startled by a rap on my window. I look over and see the cookie man. I don’t need a fucking creeper, but I roll my window down a bit to hear what he wants to say.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fucking fine!” I immediately put the car in drive, stomp on the gas, and roar off with him still standing there. What the fuck was he going to be able to do for me? Pay all my debts in cookies? He’s just another minimum wage slob, like I seemed to be destined to become. He was probably at least smart enough not to chain himself to the financial burdens I'm being crushed by.
