Sheba

Five years had passed and she was still running. Every night felt like that first one. Her wolf tried to calm her, but the human knew better. She couldn’t let herself be caught. She couldn’t end up there again. She couldn’t. She would keep running. At first, it was hard; though no tears fell from her wolf’s eyes, inside the human was crying. After a while, however, the pain began to fade, at least the pain in her paws. She learned not to think about it; when it came, she began to run even faster. The pain didn’t matter; it merely reminded her that she was still alive, that she could still feel. They hadn’t broken her. Not in the way they’d wanted to.

She had hidden so deep within herself that she struggled to find that tiny seed of humanity she had wanted to preserve at all costs. It took her almost a year and a half to start feeling, to become more human. She still thought like a hunter, like a murderer; it was hard for her to reconcile these two personalities, as one rejected the other. A struggle between survival and anger, regret and even betrayal. For a long time, she couldn’t cope with all these feelings. The wolf tried to break the human, and the human tried to lull the beast to sleep and tame it. It was utterly exhausting.She trusted the wolf like no one else; her instinct had never failed her, but she didn’t want to let it break free and take control. She focused on planning her journey, on the dangers. She was alone and had no one to rely on. She didn’t trust people or the fickle, she didn’t trust anyone. Sometimes, however, against her will, against her better judgement, sometimes against her heart, she acted guided solely by instinct. It was the only thing she could trust. She was very disciplined. She couldn’t afford to let her guard down. It could kill her, and she wanted to live, after all.

Liv woke up or rather was roused by her inner premonition. For a few moments she just listened, and although she heard nothing, her instinct told her it was time to move on. She grabbed her rucksack in her wolf’s mouth and crawled out of the burrow she’d dug the previous evening. She set off in a direction and began to run. She ran until finally her mind calmed down and her instinct allowed her to slow down. She looked around. She had almost reached the mountains. She took a deep breath and sensed nothing. It looked as though she would be able to rest, at least for a while.

Summer was approaching; it was warm and pleasant. The problems with the cold and food were over. She could finally turn into a human; in winter it had been impossible, too cold for delicate human skin. Now, however, having found a warm little lake, she transformed and stepped into the water. She breathed deeply, savouring the moment. There weren’t many of them, so that made her appreciate them all the more. She bathed and lay naked in the clearing. She had been a she-wolf for so long that clothes bothered her, but they came in handy sometimes; they were essential when she had to mingle with people.

She didn’t do it very often; she tried to keep it to a minimum, as many encounters with people only ended in trouble. She didn’t need trouble; she wanted to live in peace, she just wanted peace.

She allowed herself a little nap, a moment of relaxation, but as usual, her sleep was not peaceful.

She dreamt of wolves attacking her home. Once again, she witnessed her father’s death. Already transformed into a wolf, she ran and ran, hearing his voice in her head: ’Run, run as far away as you can and don’t come back, don’t let them catch you. I love you, Angel, I love you.’ The girl cried for many weeks; she felt like going back many times, but her instinct told her unequivocally what to do. She woke up in tears. She didn’t like this wet part of herself, but it made her feel more human, so she allowed herself to cry.

It had been five years since she’d been on her own. She never stayed in one place for too long. She’d tried twice – twice too many times. She’d been on her own since she was fourteen; it was hard among people. There was always someone who took too much of an interest, and then the questions would start: where was she from? Where were her parents? And so on. She was never granted any peace. She was too young to be on her own. No one took her seriously and they always wanted to speak to an adult. Liv felt like a perfect robot, trained for everything except living amongst people. She took a deep breath as she gathered her things; memories filled her head. So she focused and set off towards the mountains. She didn’t know why she was heading there, but her instinct told her to.

She never walked; it was always a run, fast, superhuman. She stopped only to eat, drink, or bathe from time to time.She trained a lot; it was her main occupation. She trained in human form; it built character and strength. The wolf had power, strength, agility. She had to find all that within herself, train it and nurture it. It wasn’t easy, and if anyone had spotted her, they might have thought it was a scene from some film. A naked girl fighting with trees.

Sometimes, when catching her dinner, she didn’t turn into a wolf. She was strong, fast, determined, and she always achieved her goal. She was beginning to get used to this life; it could be a good one. She could reach the mountains, hide there and live in peace. If only it weren’t for her instinct, which wouldn’t let her relax and told her to keep going. Her inner wolf was hidden very deep, and Liv wouldn’t let it surface. The animal resented the human for this, but arguing was pointless. At first, it was hard to keep the wolf inside, but Liv was incredibly clever and persistent in her efforts.

She looked at the mountains, began to appreciate their grandeur, and felt a pleasant sensation inside; she and her wolf smiled at each other. She took a deep breath and set off faster.

After two days, she reached a place where the forest was wilder. She quickly dug a den and fell asleep, unable to wait for morning. As soon as she opened her eyes, she immediately sensed that today would be different; she didn’t know why, but she felt relaxed, cheerful, carefree. She looked around as she strolled cheerfully through the forest. The forest was dense, more suited to animals than people, with no paths or rubbish. She walked along, lost in thought about where she was and what was happening, when suddenly she stopped by the walls of some estate.

She froze, terrified by her own recklessness and loss of control. She took a deep breath and caught the scent that was calling to her, that made her feel happy. She wanted to get hold of him . After a moment, however, panic seized her; she turned on her heel and began to run deeper into the forest. She wrestled with herself for a moment, turned back and ran on again, slowing down, then speeding up. She took three steps towards the scent and one step to escape it. She panicked, not knowing what to do. Her wolf’s instinct was stronger than both her and the animal put together. She climbed a tree and leapt from branch to branch to mask her scent. After two kilometres, she jumped down and began digging a new den. She dug deep, deeper than usual. If anyone tracked her, it would look like an ordinary burrow. The hidden passage beyond was completely invisible. The burrow was narrow at first, but behind the wall it descended and widened; a human couldn’t stand up straight there, but it was enough for a wolf. She was surprised that she didn’t want to leave this place at all.

She must have recognised the scent. Yet this curiosity terrified her. Her instinct wanted to stay here and resisted moving on. She had been taught not to stay in one place for long; it could be too dangerous. During the night, she gathered her wits, gained control of her wolf, and set off to get as far away as possible. She ran all night. She focused on running, shutting out everything else. Come morning, however, with undisguised anger and embarrassment, she discovered she was less than a kilometre from the estate. She couldn’t explain to herself what was happening; she couldn’t overcome her own self—she knew herself well enough to realise she wouldn’t win against her own nature. So she made a decision: she would stay; she had to recognise that scent and face it head-on. She now regretted that she had never taken a greater interest in the traditions and family life of the shifters.

She’d lived with her parents until she was ten, but she hadn’t learnt much about being a wolf. She hadn’t been interested in it back then; besides, she was a child and had other things on her mind: training. Her and her dad. The bond between them was immense. Dad used to say thatLiv had that certain something about her. He’d tell her legends of their kind. About the marvellous abilities that shape-shifters could possess, and he believed that Liv had exactly that. She treated it all as fascinating fairy tales. Far more interesting than the ones her mum told her about partnership, duties and rules. And now this scent. She knew it had something to do with partnership, but it was the subject that interested her the least; it almost always ended in an argument. She remembered how her mum had tried to explain what it was all about; she’d listened a bit, as long as she spoke simply and to the point.

“We’re half-wolf; partnership is instinct, faith. When you meet your partner, you’ll know it.”

But the hour-long lectures were boring and sounded more like orders you had to obey, enslavement and submission. A ten-year-old child isn’t interested in such arguments. Especially a free spirit like Liv. After a while, her mother gave up too, and in the end simply said;

“To be absolutely sure, just tell him you hate him and walk away from him.”

Liv laughed at these words, thinking how strong the bond must be if a few words could end it all. This made the girl lose interest in relationships and love; it meant nothing to her, because if saying ‘I hate you’ and walking away solved the matter, it wasn’t worth her attention. She stuck to things that were certain and lasting.

Her mother was very kind, gentle and very patient. She didn’t approve of what her husband and daughter were doing, but she didn’t have the strength to dissuade them. That’s how it seemed to Liv. Her mother was wonderful to her and Liv loved her with all her heart, but she felt sorry for her, because she thought that her marriage had forced her to be with her dad and her. She could see that her father had always been good to them and respectful towards her mum, and that made her happy. Mum often laughed and organised all sorts of surprises. Liv didn’t understand this dynamic, but she never asked about it out loud. Because then all that explaining would start again. She simply wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready then and she isn’t ready now. She doesn’t need a partner, not now.

Her head was bubbling over with memories, or rather fragments of them. Digging the burrow helped her, calmed her, and soon her work paid off and the burrow transformed into a beautiful cave. She dug several tunnels in different directions. She had to keep herself occupied.

The scent lingered in her mind, and every day she would sneak up to the property in the hope of catching a glimpse of the person who owned it. But nothing ever happened. She couldn’t understand why, if he didn’t live there, she couldn’t bring herself to leave. A week passed, and still nothing. Her supposed mate should have sensed her too, yet no one came; there was no movement, no interest.

The next day, as she crept near the house, she noticed a great deal of commotion, lots of cars and many people coming and going. She was pleased at the thought that things would finally become clear, yet she felt a slight fear. Perhaps not quite fear, but she was nervous and felt uncertain. She decided to retreat to her den and wait there for a while. She felt lost; she didn’t know what to do. Nothing was happening, though; she could hear voices and laughter coming from the estate, but no one came, and still nothing was happening. She fell asleep, angry with herself and the whole situation.

In the morning, she was woken by a strange sensation, one she’d never felt before. She poked her wolf’s head out to get a better breath of air, and that’s when she saw him. A beautiful, large, red wolf, walking nearby, sniffing every inch of the ground. Her wolf wanted to pounce on him, but she stopped him. Suddenly, the wolf looked straight into her yellow eyes and froze. They stared at each other for a moment, then the red wolf turned into a man.

He was tall, powerful, and well into his twenties. He had short black hair and eyes so blue they were mesmerising. His chest was smooth and powerfully built. She had seen many men in her life, but none had ever made such an impression on her as this one.

Neither of them moved, just stared at the other. The silence was finally broken by the boy’s mobile; he walked over to the pile of clothes lying nearby, pulled the device from his pocket and answered:

“What?” – that growl made Liv prick up her ears. Just one word, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. “Tell your mother I’m unavailable...” “I don’t know how long,” he practically shouted, “ until I get back to you.” He ground the words out through clenched teeth and hung up. He flung the phone onto the pile of clothes.

“I’m sorry,” he began gently, having snapped out of his trance. The girl wasn’t like the ones he knew. He tried to choose his words carefully. He didn’t understand why she was hiding – “I didn’t mean to scare you, I sensed you the moment I got back. I’ve been away from home for a while, why didn’t you go and talk to my parents? They’d have called me straight away…”

Liv looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language, turning her head from side to side like a dog trying to understand what a person is explaining. The boy was surprised by her behaviour. To him, partnership was something natural. In his view, Liv should simply have knocked and introduced herself, and he would have come straight away. Hiding away in a burrow was… strange.

‘Will you come out to see me?’ he asked.

His mind analysed various explanations for her behaviour, but he couldn’t make sense of any of them. So he stood there, simply watching her. After a moment, he sat down, realising that the girl needed time and patience, and that was exactly what he intended to give her . He sat there motionless for almost the whole day; as the sun set, he finally stood up and said.

‘I’ll be back tomorrow morning.’ A flicker of doubt crossed his mind as to whether he would, but he pushed it aside.

“I hope we’ll be able to talk then. Goodnight,” he said, heading towards the house and looking back several times.

Liv poked her head out to watch him walk away; her wolf wanted to run after him, but she stopped him. He was so handsome, so grown-up and perfect. She felt like a child next to him. She wondered what would happen next. She now understood why he hadn’t been coming. He wasn’t at home. Now, however, she needed to stretch her legs and hunt something. She set off at a run; she needed to let off steam.

She still couldn’t understand how one man could hold her in his grip like that, dominate her so, subjugate her so. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t take her eyes off him, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She quickly caught two rabbits, bathed in the lake and returned to her burrow. She already missed him, and the night seemed to last for ages. Her head was full of thoughts. All night long she tried to piece together the fragments of memories from her conversations with her mum, but the more she thought about them, the less sense they made. She grew angry with herself.

For the first time, she was afraid of someone. It wasn’t that he was older, nor that she was afraid he would hurt her. He was her partner; she was sure of it, and he sensed it too. She was already certain of this, but then another thought crossed her mind. She knew she loved him. She laughed briefly at the thought. If someone had told her this would happen, she would have laughed out loud at them and laughed every time she saw that person.

And then reality hit her: if her pursuers found her, would they kill him too? A strange, deep growl of anger tore from her throat. She couldn’t let that happen. A quick decision. She couldn’t stay here. She knew, however, that her wolf wouldn’t let her leave, but he should understand that they were doing this for him.

She just had to figure out how to do it. The only way out seemed to be to provoke the boy so that he would unleash his wolf on her. She knew there was no one who could control the wolf the way she could; when the wolf flew into a rage, only the beast spoke through him. If he hurt her, she could say she hated him and walk away, just as her mum had told her. It was the only way out. She knew she wouldn’t be able to leave him on her own, without a reason.

She woke at dawn, excited and unable to wait to see him. She didn’t have to wait long; he appeared just after sunrise.

‘Hello,’ he said, sitting cross-legged by the burrow, much closer than yesterday. ‘Will you say something today?’ he asked.

He was smiling and very nervous. Liv had turned into a human, but she hadn’t come out of the burrow. Shane smiled at the sight of her face. Her beautiful eyes enchanted him immediately; he wanted to know everything about her. He knew, however, that he had to be patient.

“Who are you?” Liv asked shyly, surprised at how uncertain, human, and girlish she felt around him.

“My name is Shane van Brick. I am the son of the Alpha of this state. What is your name?”

“Liv,” she said briefly. The boy smiled and said,

“Nice to meet you, Liv.”

The girl didn’t want to waste time; she wanted to get straight to her plan, so she said.

- I’m sorry for the commotion I caused. I’m just passing through. I caught your scent and wanted to meet you, but I can’t stay – I’m setting off again tomorrow – she tried to sound confident and her voice even did, but why did she say tomorrow? She should be setting off straight away.

Shane jumped up suddenly and rushed towards the burrow; Liv backed away into it, a little frightened by his behaviour. Yet her heart was filled with joy at the thought that her plan might succeed.

‘I won’t let you go,’ he growled possessively. ‘If you have to go somewhere, I’ll go with you, but I certainly won’t let you leave,’ he confessed.

Liv hadn’t expected that; she turned her head to one side and furrowed her brow. Even in human form, her behaviour was more animalistic. She cleared her throat and asked.

‘Would you really do that?’ she bit her lip and narrowed her eyes, focusing on him. ‘You don’t even know me.’

The boy calmed down a little, assuming this was meant to be a test, and his reaction had definitely surprised her. He was taken aback by this; he knew that a partnership was something that could not be circumvented, broken, lied about, or forced. You can’t run away from it or push it away. Partners are bound together forever. It’s a steel thread linking two minds into one.

He took a step back. Liv reached into her rucksack and pulled out a shirt. She put it on and stepped out of the burrow. The shirt was clearly too big, so it kept slipping off her shoulders. He saw how young she was and looked around, searching for other burrows or any other sign of life, anything that might mean she wasn’t alone. He was certain it was the instinct for partnership that had brought her here. He couldn’t understand, though , how anyone could have let her out alone, without care or protection. The world is dangerous enough as it is. She had only a rucksack with her. He saw her bare arms, covered in scars; they looked like the marks of a beating. The muscles in her arms were like rock. Her eyes, now the colour of boiling tar, looked far older than her face. There was something about them that made Shan’s instincts want to know her past. That look unsettled him. He had to take the initiative, so he quickly said.

‘You’re my partner, that’s enough.’ His mind was focused on protecting the girl; he wanted to find out as much as possible, but he started with simple questions so as not to scare her off. ‘Tell me, how old are you?’

“Nineteen,” she said slowly; she thought there was no point in lying.

“Are you alone?” he asked directly; he’d meant to be patient, but the question had just slipped out. He bit his lip in frustration at himself, but waited for an answer; the girl didn’t reply, so he asked again.

– How long have you been on your own? – The girl remained silent – You don’t need to be afraid of me, – he looked at her imploringly, hoping she would finally say something more – I want to help you. Let me look after you, – he asked.

Liv turned her head to the side again. Shane did the same, saying,

‘You can trust me,’ he promised, holding out his hands in a gesture of surrender.

He held out his hand to her; she took it gently, and then he pulled her close to him. She gasped loudly, surprised by his behaviour, surprised by her own behaviour, that she had allowed him such closeness. She didn’t push him away, though; his scent and warmth had seeped into the deepest recesses of her mind. Yet she stood stiffly upright, not revealing what she truly felt. Suddenly, he let go of her and took a step back. She wanted to go to him; she wanted him to hold her again.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he whispered after a moment. The girl swallowed, wondering what was happening.

She came up to his neck. He looked as though he was at least three times her size. Liv had black hair that reached her hips. Her eyes were large, dark and beautiful; her skin was smooth and tanned. She was beautiful and athletic, yet her muscles did not detract from her girlish charm. The boy moved closer again, taking her in his arms. She was pleased by this. He held her close, kissing her head and rubbing against her gently.

‘Tell me about yourself,’ he asked.

She lifted her head, looked him straight in the eyes and, for a moment, forgot her plan; she felt an irresistible urge to kiss him. But she gave nothing away; her mind quickly pushed her desires aside. She was unyielding; all those years of training were now paying off.

“How can I be sure I can trust you?” she asked firmly.

“Listen to your wolf; you know I’m your mate. What does your instinct tell you?” he asked, feeling his own nervousness as he waited for her reply.

“What if it’s wrong?” she asked. And Shan was relieved that she hadn’t denied it.

“Has it ever been wrong?” he asked, now calmer.

Liv tried very hard to think of at least one such moment; unable to find one, she took a deep breath and answered honestly.

“No,” Shane smiled into her hair.

“Come with me to my house,” he asked.

“No, I’m fine here,” she said, retreating into the burrow. The man didn’t press the issue.

“Shall I stay with you, then?”

“If you want,” she said, as if she really didn’t care, but her heart was racing. She sat down on the ground and he sat beside her; after a moment, Liv’s stomach growled.

“Fancy some dinner?” he asked. The girl stood up without a word, turned her back to Shane and took off her shirt; he hadn’t even had time to catch a glimpse of her naked body before a magnificent white wolf was standing before him. She dashed into the forest and the boy quickly transformed and set off after her. Her technique, agility and speed thoroughly embarrassed Shane. He was so enchanted by her that he hadn’t caught anything; she’d done it for him, which made him feel even more intimidated. He resolved to prove himself next time. When they returned to the den, the girl hadn’t transformed; he crawled in after her, they lay down and fell asleep.

When the girl woke up in the morning, she was snuggled up against the boy; she felt so good, she hadn’t had any nightmares, and she hadn’t felt so rested and relaxed in a long time. Soon, however, her mind returned to the real world.

Terrified, she realised that it had taken just one day for her to forget everything. She hadn’t made her rounds last night. She hadn’t even stopped for a moment to sniff the air. She had to act quickly. She wanted so much to trust him, but she was afraid of being hurt, of loss, of rejection. Most of all, however, she was afraid that something might happen to him because of her. She slipped out while he was still asleep. She changed, put on a shirt and sat by the stream. Despite her decision, she allowed herself a few more moments to be near him. It wasn’t long before Shane appeared. He walked slowly towards her and kissed her on the head.

‘I was scared you’d really left,’ he said, visibly relieved.

“I tried many times before you came to me,” she confessed, shaking her head from side to side, “but I always came back.”

“That means your partner is here; I’m here,” he clarified.

“I don’t know much about relationships,” she said slowly.

“Will you tell me how it came to be that you’re alone?” he asked hopefully, but Liv just shook her head. Shane sighed. He didn’t know how to reach her. He touched her shoulder; she flinched, but didn’t pull away. He smiled imperceptibly at this. He told himself she must have gone through something terrible, since she didn’t trust even her partner.

Amidst all the ups and downs, their relationship was true, pure love, friendship, trust – something no one could deny, something their parents couldn’t forbid, and the partners were everything to each other; they would do anything for one another. Shane began slowly.

‘Wolves only truly fall in love once,’ he knew he’d caught her attention because she froze and gently turned her head towards him. ‘Sometimes it comes upon us unexpectedly, when they look into each other’s eyes, for example; sometimes they live in the same town and simply know it; or sometimes they’re guided by instinct and search.’ I suppose that was the case with you.” She looked at him, nodding slightly as if she agreed with him. “Once partners find each other, they’ll never part; they can rely on one another. They’ll never hurt each other, never betray each other. They can trust each other,” he said slowly, looking at her, wanting to be sure she understood what he was saying. And finally, he joked, not wanting the atmosphere to remain so tense

– When they’ve got a fever, they don’t have a problem anymore – he laughed. Liv looked at him blankly, and he stopped laughing immediately.

‘During the fever?’ she asked, gathering her hair into a plait. He opened his eyes wide in complete surprise.

‘Are you saying you’ve never had a fever?’ He couldn’t comprehend it. It was the hardest and worst time for lonely, young shape-shifters.

“What is it?” she asked slowly.

He narrowed his eyes and explained.

“It’s the time when wolves are in heat. Sex is the most important thing,” he added.

Shane watched her; he could see her processing and piecing things together. She began to nod, as if to confirm that she now understood. The boy quickly gathered his thoughts and asked her gently

- Sweetheart, how long have you been on your own? – She looked at him, furrowing her brow and wrinkling her nose. She felt an irresistible urge to tell him everything. She bit her lower lip to stop herself. She began tapping her foot nervously. Shane noticed this, touched her cheek and looked deep into her eyes.

- Let me help you, please. I love you. – Liv swallowed loudly, but it felt as though the saliva had stuck in her throat. How could you fall in love with someone in a single day? Sometimes a lifetime isn’t enough, but that was exactly how it was; she loved him too.

‘Do you really want me?’ she asked curiously, and after a moment added, searching for any sign of insincerity in him, ‘And you won’t leave me?’ She felt something inside her breaking.

“I swear,” he said, his hand on his heart. His face was serious, yet smiling at the same time. Liv wanted to throw herself into his arms, kiss him and never be let go, but her mind had a mission and knew best what she should do. She knew that at that moment she couldn’t count on the she-wolves or her instincts; both were on Shane’s side. She was alone.

‘I’m scared,’ she said aloud without meaning to.

“I know, Sunshine, I can feel it,” he took her hand, kissed it gently, pressing it close to him.

Liv wasn’t sure if she could fight against herself. Shane placed her hand on his heart and said, closing his eyes as if her touch brought him incredible relief.

“Ever since I sensed you, it’s only been beating for you.” That was too much. Tears streamed down Liv’s face and her breathing quickened. “Tell me, promise me you won’t leave me, you won’t walk away—I couldn’t bear it,” he said, pain etched on his face.

She looked at him with the same pain, thinking of her plan, and suddenly her lips said

- I promise.

Shane shouted with joy and the girl, as if waking from a trance, jumped up and darted into the burrow; the boy followed her.

- Sorry, Sunshine, – he said quickly, fearfully, scratching his head with a laugh, feeling a bit silly. – I behaved like a brat, – he added, at which the girl couldn’t hide her smile.

Liv emerged slowly. She looked around as if she’d forgotten where she was and was trying to remember. He hugged her, wanting to feel her body close to his forever; she felt the same. He kissed her on the lips; she let him kiss her, but didn’t return his affection.

“I love you,” he confessed.

Liv didn’t even flinch; her mind was in turmoil; for the first time in her life, she wasn’t in control of herself. Her inner struggle seemed to her the hardest of her life. Her head was spinning.

Shane didn’t press her. He realised there was something he didn’t know and didn’t want to rush her. He wanted her to know about it. He sensed her uncertainty, her confusion. The way she was holding herself back, not showing any affection. He couldn’t explain it to himself, for he’d seen a thousand times what a meeting of soulmates looked like. It had always been something wonderful, joyful and full of passion. With this girl, it was different. He was very curious to know what had happened to her, but he had to be gentle so as not to scare her off.

‘Will you tell me about yourself?’ he tried again. Liv tapped her foot and asked.

“Why? Does it matter?” she began to get annoyed.

“None at all,” he whispered in her ear, “I just want to get to know you,” he said casually. “To help,” he added.

“Do I look like I need help? I’m doing just fine on my own,” she snapped, offended; no one had ever helped her, she’d always done everything herself – how could he possibly think she needed help?

- I know, I can see that, – said Shane, holding out his hands as if to prove he was unarmed. – But please tell me, how long have you been on your own? – It was gnawing at him, and he was doing a quick calculation.

She was nineteen. She knew very little about wolves and mating, the fever that strikes around the age of thirteen or fourteen, which leaves six years. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. To become a lone wolf at such a young age and survive for so long. Suddenly, his reverie was shattered by words that, with every syllable, made him want to howl, his knees buckled and his voice failed him.

‘Five years, four months and two days,’ she said slowly, counting as she spoke to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake. A cold shiver ran through Shana, and he took great care not to shake at the news; he swallowed and asked.

‘How did this happen?’ He was furious; it was an order, he had to know.

Liv took a step back, watching him cautiously. She sensed that tone; she didn’t like it. Seeing that she was in no hurry to answer, Shane took a step towards her and pressed on.

- Are you saying you’ve been a lone wolf since you were fourteen? – She just nodded. Shane howled with rage and grief. – Grab your rucksack, we’re off – he ordered,

- No, thank you, I’m fine here, she said, sitting down on the ground,

- Liv, there’s no way I’m letting you live like this for even one more day. In a week, maybe not even a full week, the frenzy will begin. All the shifters will start going mad – he burst out, realising what it might look like. She looked at him with displeasure.

- Everyone’s going to rush here to get their hands on you – What was he so worried about? She’d been through his frenzy more than once, and now they were supposedly partners, so what could possibly be the problem? She couldn’t understand why Shane was getting so worked up, so she asked,

‘But I’m supposed to be your partner, aren’t I?’

“Yes, but until I mark you,” he said, “and you mark me,” he added quickly, “we won’t officially be a couple.”

“Mark?” she asked.

“I have to bite you,” he began, with a strange loss of patience, “and you have to bite me, so our scents mix.”

They had to mark each other first. Her plan was quickly put into action. It was now or never; she wouldn’t get another chance like this. She wouldn’t listen any further, because he would probably have persuaded her, and she didn’t want to ruin his life. She loved him too much. She already knew that. She only heard him behind her. She turned into a wolf and ran off into the forest.

“Wait!!” The boy transformed and set off after his partner.

She didn’t wait, she didn’t hesitate, she didn’t even turn around; she took off like lightning and didn’t slow down. Although Shane was fit, he couldn’t catch up with her. She passed the trees, or rather, it looked as though they were moving out of her way. Shane thought this wasn’t normal. For her age, she was too fast, too agile, too perfect. He’d never seen anything like it. He was the best of the local pack, the alpha’s successor; he’d even beaten his own father. He couldn’t catch his nineteen-year-old mate. After a few hours, he began to feel tired and saw that Liv was starting to pull away; her run was just as fast, her movements just as perfect, and she showed no signs of fatigue. He was panicking. After several more long minutes, he began to realise he was losing sight of her. In an act of desperation, he unleashed his wolf; the man retreated into the depths of his being, and now the animal took the lead.

The wolf took off as if he’d been given a shot of adrenaline. He began to close in on her; the girl looked as though she’d sped up and her movements had become more animalistic. He thought that perhaps she’d unleashed the wolf too; he couldn’t have known that Liv and the wolf were one and could work together. However, she didn’t need to. Her animal side was hidden deep within, and for the moment the girl wasn’t even considering the possibility of unleashing the beast. He had been chasing her for several hours now, losing his patience. He had used the tricks of a hunter. He was furious at being outmanoeuvred by the young she-wolf. As evening finally drew in, he caught up with her in a ravine, where she was trapped by high cliffs. He was not pleased with this, for he knew that had it not been for this trap, he himself would never have succeeded. He pounced on her like a on its prey and sank his teeth into her neck; the she-wolf yelped loudly. He pinned her body down, not letting go for a moment. Just as he was about to act like an animal, wanting to punish her for such humiliation, the girl, with a swift movement, freed herself from beneath his much larger body and vanished into the thicket of the forest. The wolf was so taken aback that he didn’t even react; he realised that she was the one who had set the trap for him. He couldn’t fathom why or for what purpose. Shane knew they’d hurt her, that the bite was deep—too deep—and must have been very painful. He sat there for a moment, trying to make sense of the situation and decide what to do. He set off after her, but didn’t try to catch up.

Liv ran to the burrow, grabbed her rucksack and ran out; she froze for a moment when she saw Shane kneeling and looking at her with pain, suffering, regret and fear. She could see his lips trembling, his breathing uneven and his eyes wet.

‘Forgive me,’ he whispered. ‘Forgive me,’ he repeated, though he didn’t believe she could do such a thing.

She drew a sharp breath. The plan had worked; she felt no pain at all. She’d done it on purpose, just to have a reason to leave. She set off running as far away from him as possible, towards the mountains, just as she’d intended to do before they met. She waited for nothing more; she ran, trying not to listen to anything, and especially not to her own heart. She’d managed it; she just had to focus on running. This was what she’d wanted all along – she’d freed herself from him. He’d inflicted inhuman pain on her. She had every right to hate him. She could finally leave. She was freeing herself from the scent, from her partner. She was free, and most importantly, he was safe. The plan had worked. She laughed to herself as she picked up speed, and a moment later she heard a howl so full of pain that she froze and her heart shattered like crystal hitting concrete from a great height. She stopped; her body was shaking and saliva blocked her throat, refusing to flow. Tears streamed down her face, unstoppable. She sprang up again, running as far away from that place as she could. She felt a burning pain in her eyes and in her heart, but she kept running, running without stopping. She ran all night, and in her head she could still hear his howling. She no longer knew whether he was still howling or whether it was just her mind recalling that sound. The further she got away, the more the pain intensified, along with the remorse and the emptiness that engulfed her.

Furious with herself, she shouted as loud as she could, “I hate him.” She took a few more steps. She felt a sense of desperation and the salty taste of tears in her mouth. She turned back abruptly. She was surprised that the return journey took her less than half the time. She crept along with the wind so he wouldn’t catch her scent. He was kneeling in the same spot, crying, pounding his fists into the ground. He was devastated. The sight was unbearable for her. Now she understood her mother’s words. She had become human and approached him, throwing her rucksack aside as she went. She was certain of it; it had to be a partnership; everything had become clear to her. She couldn’t bear her partner’s pain; she couldn’t walk away from him. That would kill her too, slowly and in agony. She didn’t want that for herself or for him; it no longer mattered to her what would happen. She would always be with him and for him.

Liv walked over and knelt beside Shane, lifted his face and kissed him. Shane was speechless. He was so lost in his grief that he hadn’t even noticed her return. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t.

‘It’s all right, it’s all right,’ she said, stroking his cheek. ‘I’m here,’ she smiled and kissed him.

She looked into his eyes and suddenly, without warning, her eyes glowed and her fangs lengthened. She sank them into the boy’s neck. Shane growled and pulled her closer. When she was done, she licked his wounds, which immediately scabbed over. The boy smiled and hugged the girl. Touching her back, he felt that her T-shirt was very wet; he thought she’d broken out in a sweat. He looked at his hand – it was completely red. He turned Liv round. The sight terrified him. Her neck had two huge holes from the wolf’s claws. Blood was oozing out slowly.

‘It’s nothing,’ she said with a gentle smile. Shane looked at her with pain in his eyes and then asked

‘Why did you come back?’ he whispered. ‘After what I did.’ He wrinkled his nose as if speaking of something repulsive. ‘I promised I wouldn’t hurt you; mating isn’t like this. My wolf meant well, but...’

- It’s my fault,” she confessed, not letting him finish. “I forced you into it.” He looked at her, a little lost. “I wanted to run away, but the further I ran,” she continued, touching his cheek and chest—she had to touch him, to feel him—the more it hurt. I didn’t understand when my mum tried to explain it to me. Today I understand what she meant,” she finished, and Shane immediately kissed her, holding her tight, too tight, because he could smell the scent of fresh blood.

“Sun, we have to go to the hospital; it doesn’t look good, it’s not clotting.”

“No, I don’t want to go to hospital, give me a moment. It’s really nothing, I just haven’t had time to think about it.” He looked at her, not understanding her words. Liv drew in a breath with superhuman force, loudly and for a long time. She drew it in and drew it in, and then let it out even longer. Afterwards, she shook her head from side to side.

- Stop it, darling. – Shane grabbed her, holding her still – you’ll make it worse.

“I’m fine,” she said, smiling. The boy turned her round and brushed her hair aside; there was no wound, just dried blood. He froze and looked into her eyes.

“How did you do that?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Nothing special, I learnt it... a while back,” she paused, closing her eyes. “It comes in handy sometimes,” she added sadly.

Shane looked into her eyes. He pulled her close, and that’s when he realised he was naked and she was wearing nothing but a T-shirt

. ‘What’s happened?’ she asked, sensing the change.

“Please get dressed,” he pleaded, but he still held her close, her body brushing against his, arousing him greatly. Her skin was so soft and tempting. He knew she would soon sense how much he desired her; he didn’t know what experience she had, and after what had happened here, he guessed she had none. This made him very nervous. He was glad it was completely dark; in human form, his eyesight wasn’t that good, and he hoped she wouldn’t notice his nervousness. However, she sensed his racing heart and his body tensing up.

“What’s going on?” she asked, completely unaware of anything. Her fingers were still touching his neck and biceps. When he didn’t answer, she said

“Shane, I want this.” The boy stopped breathing; a strong shiver ran down his spine and his wolf growled, “MINE.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, though he couldn’t bear it if she said no. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

She just smiled, pulling him closer.

Shane began to kiss her gently, on her neck and on her lips. His hands moved all over her body, sending shivers through her. The girl felt a heat and a sensation as if she could rise so high that she could touch the stars. Her breathing was no longer steady or calm; everything around her began to spin. She closed her eyes. And allowed herself to lose herself once more.

Shane laid her on her back. She opened her eyes and saw his wonderful face leaning over her. His eyes, in which she was completely lost. She wanted to explore every inch of his body, every muscle, every contour. She lifted her head and began kissing his chest; the boy moaned with delight. Her hand massaged his stomach, and she went a little too far down; she pulled it back, unsure what to do. Shane smiled and said,

- Leave it to me, Sunshine. Today, I’ll take care of you. OK?

She just nodded.

A current ran through her nerves. She grabbed his shoulders and dug her nails in. She buried her head in his chest and moaned with pleasure. She didn’t want him to stop. She felt better than she ever had before. Just when she thought she couldn’t feel any better, he picked up the pace and she opened her eyes, arching her back. Her body was overcome by a thousand tremors, yet he didn’t stop. Her breath caught for a moment and her mouth went completely dry. She had never felt such ecstasy before. Shane didn’t stop giving her pleasure until he was sure she’d reached her peak. Then he gently slid down beside her. He kissed her neck. He propped himself up on his elbows, looking at her closed eyes.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked. She just nodded – ‘Are you sure?’

“Yes,” she whispered. She had never felt so weak and so happy before.

He pulled her close. They fell asleep, nestled against each other.

When they woke up, the sun was just beginning to rise. Liv snuggled up against Shane’s chest, recalling what had happened.

The silence was broken by the boy.

“The sun,” she looked at him with a smile. “Now you have to agree to come home with me; I won’t let you stay here.” She looked at him with regret and reluctance. She looked at the burrow. She knew this would happen eventually. She nodded in agreement, but Shane knew she was doing so reluctantly; nevertheless, he was happy at the thought of a home together.

They gathered their things; there wasn’t much of them. Liv put on the clothes, the only ones she had, and they set off for the Van Brick house.