Please Don’t Wake Me Up

From where I lay, all I could see were the fluorescent lights fixed to the ceiling.

The machines kept beeping in a steady rhythm.

I was still alive.

The world had abandoned me.

God ignores me every single day.

And I keep begging for even the smallest shred of hope.

Maybe all of this is nothing more than the consequence of letting my parents save me that day...

Better not think about that again.

Otherwise, the doctors will come back. They’ll poke me with more needles while staring at me like I’m just another slab of meat left on a hospital bed, carrying their damn clipboards and those self-important masks as if I were the one with something contagious.

Can’t anyone see the state I’m in?

My reflection shimmered across the metal housing around the ceiling lights.

Young.

Wrapped in bandages.

Reduced to whatever was left of me.

A few strands of red hair escaped through the white bandages, tiny flames stubbornly refusing to die beneath what looked like a wrapped corpse.

The compensation money did nothing but keep my body breathing inside this room.

If I recover...

Recover... for what?

“VARMIRR! Will you cut that shit out?”

Baldiham rested an elbow against a translucent bolt of lightning, as if space itself had decided to support him.

“You’re doing it backwards. Pick the candidate. Match the Blessing. Optimize the stats. It’s their past that makes a hero worth watching.”

Varmirr rolled his eyes.

He snapped his fingers.

A root burst out of nowhere, carrying a steaming cup.

“Doesn’t matter how great the candidate is if the stats are garbage. Your Blessing has to match the build.”

He took a sip.

His tongue burned.

“AHH!”

“You’re still arguing about that?” The clouds parted, revealing a woman with a voluptuous figure and a smile full of confidence. “The only thing that really matters... is picking a beautiful specimen.”

“Maliah...” Varmirr sighed. “You always go for pretty faces. None of your heroes ever make it past the starting city.”

“They always end up becoming great rulers.”

Baldiham burst out laughing.

He snapped his fingers.

A pair of enormous breasts appeared on his chest, tangled in his beard.

“Just like yours.”

Maliah smiled without missing a beat.

“Don’t blame me for appreciating my creations. If I’m going to watch these specimens all day, I’d rather have something nice to look at.”

“So where is everyone?” Varmirr asked. “At this rate I’m starting without them.”

“I’m not worried.” Baldiham summoned a massive living book shaped like a cat. It landed in his lap with an annoyed meow. “I found a new combo yesterday.”

Varmirr froze.

“...A combo?”

“Yep.”

“The last time you found a combo, you dumped every single stat point into Constitution... on an archer.”

“IT WORKED!”

“IT WORKED AFTER THREE BLESSINGS, A MYTHIC BOW, AND TWO HUNDRED YEARS!”

“We had to rebuild the whole world.” Maliah said as she lit her pipe. “For them, a thousand years passed. For us... it was one very long headache.”

A little girl appeared beside her, sucking on a glowing green blob of slime.

“Is today the Harvest?”

“Harvest... and Planting.” A man in blue robes joined the circle. “The world needs new heroes.”

“Can we please get started? I’m getting calluses on my ass waiting for you people.”

Maliah smiled.

“I think he’ll come today...”

“Oh, COME ON! HE NEVER SHOWS UP!”

Varmirr bit into his own teacup.

Crunch.

Rough barking echoed through the clouds.

The entire group fell silent.

A final boy slowly walked into the circle.

He carried a small living cloud under one arm.

It had bulging eyes.

Fluffy ears.

And a mouth crackling with lightning.

He sat down.

A chair appeared beneath him.

Popcorn.

Soda.

A glowing screen materialized in front of his face.

The opening credits rolled.

Varmirr started chewing on the saucer.

Literally.

“HOLY SHIT! HE CAME! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! WE ONLY GET ONE CHANCE EVERY THOUSAND YEARS!”

The boy ignored him.

He kept watching his movie while sipping his soda.

Varmirr shot to his feet.

His shoulders cracked.

Fur spread across his body.

A heartbeat later, a massive bear was sprinting in circles around the gathering.

“HE’S HERE!”

Nobody reacted.

“START THE DAMN CEREMONY! I’M NOT WAITING ANOTHER HARVEST!”

The boy finished his popcorn.

The soda vanished.

He looked up.

“You done?”

Varmirr instantly turned back into a man.

Sat down.

A suit materialized around him.

He cleared his throat.

“My apologies. As I was saying...”

He took a deep breath.

“For the love of God—” He paused.“...Me.LET’S GO!”

Baldiham clapped once.

Golden panels appeared before every god.

Time Remaining: 1:24:32:02:02

“You may begin.”

Time Remaining: 1:24:32:02:01

The boy stood.

Picked up his little cloud.

Started walking away.

Baldiham frowned.

“You’re not participating?”

“I’m done.”

…

Every god looked at their panel.

Out of seven billion candidates...

One was gone.

“...What?”

Baldiham nearly fell out of his chair.

“YOU CHECKED FORTY-SEVEN MILLION COMBOS?! THE CHARACTER SHEET?! THE STATS?! I EVEN PINNED THE GUIDE FOR YOU!”

“No.”

“The character sheet?”

“No.”

“The stats?”

“Didn’t need to.”

“But—”

“No.”

“...You already picked?”

The boy shrugged.

“I don’t like wasting time.”

He kept walking.

“I already did.”

Without even looking back—

“You’ve got five minutes.”

…

Varmirr looked at his panel.

Then at the timer.

04:59

The color drained from his face.

“...No.”

The others checked theirs.

Maliah dropped her plate.

Baldiham opened his panel again.

“...No...”

Varmirr took a step back.

“He was born...”

Baldiham slowly closed his book.

“The ritual has entered the Synchronization Phase.”