This Shit Hurts
Jo cried the entire ride back to the Mary Culter House.
She wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Torsten wrapped her in a blanket and she collapsed against him. Somewhere she felt him lower her onto a bed, wrapping himself around her to keep the chill away. His touch felt good but also wrong.
He wasn’t Alex. Jo’s heart pounded with the rhythm of Alex. She needed him. And he’s wasn’t there.
Jo’s tears ran down her face in hot rivulets. They carved themselves into her cheeks leaving indelible marks there.
Torsten didn’t ask. He didn’t engage. He just held her as she cried. Somewhere she vaguely registered she was back in her room. It is their room. Or at least it was.
Why? Why did he try to force her to absorb more power?
“Why?” the word left Jo’s throat in a croak.
She didn’t have to explain. It was as if Torsten knew what she was asking.
“He wanted you to be the most powerful version of yourself.”
“What’s wrong with the me version of myself?”
Torsten looked at her with sad eyes. Slowly he said, “There’s nothing wrong with the you version of you. You’re perfect.”
“But why did he want to make me more? Why wasn’t I enough?”
Torsten looked like Jo had stabbed him. His eyes were sad and regretful as he said, “That’s on him. You are a gem. It’s his loss that he didn’t see you for what you are.” His voice died out on the last word.
Jo felt as if all of the fight had left her. She leaned over, and in Torsten’s warm embrace, fell into a dreamless sleep.
The first thing Jo noticed when she woke up was the crazy noise. Those birds wanted to die.
Before she could light their asses on fire, Torsten walked in.
He dodged her eyes and she couldn’t help but laugh. It was nuts this giant blond warrior was dodging her eyes like she was Cyclops.
“How are you?” he asked sincerely.
“I’m not sure. I think I’ve been broken,” Jo told him honestly.
“Let’s see if we can get you put back together then,” he said with a smile and a wink.
Her heart hurt watching him wink like Alex had done so many times before. Jo blinked away a tear as her eyes filled with them.
In Jo’s mind all the plans she had subconsciously made for her and Alex slipped away into the ether.
The saddest part about losing him was losing all the plans Jo had made that now would never come to fruition.
In her mind she saw herself on a pier and just watched as Alex slowly floated away, taking all of her hopes and dreams and plans for them with him.
