Sliding Back To You • PJM / JJK

Thanks to my dear friend who made my OC come to life; she produced the perfect image of Siri

Wordcount: 3280

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“Sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” Siri says monotonously with a very tight, forced smile that doesn’t even curl the corner of her lips up.

Oh, how she hates that sentence to the point she wishes she could strangle the next person who says it to her. Obviously she wouldn’t do that though since she doesn’t want to go away for murder, and she also doesn’t want another person to die near her.

It’s just that she’s heard 'sorry for your loss’ so many times over the past few days, and today, it’s worse. It’s all she’s been hearing since today is Jimin’s funeral.

Jimin, who was her fiancé. Jimin, who was her best friend and the love of her life.

Siri met him when they were six years old. Her mother had taken her to a playground near their house that they had just moved into, and after spending nearly ten minutes on the swings, Siri eyed up the biggest slide she had ever seen. It was a long, curved silver tube slide connected to a tower, and it looked so tall and longer than any other slide she had been on before.

Siri eagerly joined the queue of kids waiting to go down the slide, but just as it was finally her turn, an older blonde boy shoved in front of her. She complained and pouted, and was almost about to cry, but then another little boy with dark hair and plump lips who looked to be around her age stepped in and defended her. It was Jimin, her young knight in shining armour.

The older boy begrudgingly gave up and walked to the back of the line after Jimin threatened, “I’ll tell my dad on you!” and once Siri got her turn, she asked Jimin to go down the slide with her as thanks.

They introduced themselves at the top of the tower before Jimin sat behind her, wrapping his little arms around her waist to ensure she was secure, while Siri held onto his knees. They slid to the bottom together, giggling the whole way down, and that one ride quickly turned into another... then another... and another, until they lost count.

They spent all of their time together that afternoon, and since they lived only a few streets apart, almost every day afterwards they kept running into each other at the playground, then at school, and then they basically became inseparable.

Nineteen years later, with them being 25 years old, they were engaged. Jimin had proposed to Siri eight months ago at the very same tall, silver tubed slide where they first met, and now, the wedding was only three months away.

Well… it was supposed to be three months away…

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Siri.”

Fuck. There it is again.

Jimin’s service at the funeral home chapel has just started, and it feels like there’s a never ending line of people. Every few minutes another familiar face approaches Siri with red eyes and a sympathetic smile, gently squeezing her hands or wrapping their arms around her before saying those annoying words.

She nods politely and says the odd ‘thank you’ because that’s what you’re meant to say, plus Siri didn’t want to look like a rude bitch, so those responses had to do.

She gets the odd person promising that if she ever needs anything, all she has to do is ask.

The irritated part of her really just wants to say, “Actually yes, there is something I need. Bring Jimin back. Oh, you can’t do that? Then kindly piss off, thanks.”

Siri clenches her teeth, closes her eyes, and shakes her head as she tells herself to calm the fuck down. She knows she’s being irrationally angry due to the loss of the love of her life, and she has to remind herself that the people here also lost Jimin, too.

But she’s angry. Angry at the world for taking Jimin away from her. Angry that he had to be so nice and kind—as he always is—and for once, she wishes he hadn’t been such a nice guy since it’s what caused his accident.

But most of all… Siri’s angry at herself because she feels like it’s her fault he died the way he did.

Five days ago, they had woken up in bed, made love together, and then the day was meant to have been spent doing wedding errands.

They had gone to a flower shop first, deciding which bouquets and floral decorations they wanted for their wedding, then after, they were supposed to have some lunch before continuing with the rest of their day together.

However, as they walked down the main street looking for a café, Jimin needed the bathroom.

“Dammit, I really need to take a leak.”

Siri giggled, “See, I told you you should’ve gone when we were at the flower shop.”

Jimin rolled his eyes playfully, “Yeah, yeah, whatevs Miss Smarty Pants.”

Siri looked across the road and pointed towards a public toilet. “There’s one over there.”

“Oh perfect! I’ll only be a minute, baby.”

“I’ll walk ahead and find us a café then?”

Jimin nodded, kissed Siri’s cheek, then he crossed the road while she continued walking until she found a café a short distance away. Rather than going inside straight away though, she decided to wait for him outside.

A couple of minutes later, she spotted Jimin still on the opposite side of the road, strolling along the footpath while scanning the shops ahead, clearly looking for her.

With a warm smile, Siri raised her hand and called out for him. “Jiminie! Over here!”

His eyes found her, and the second their eyes met, his entire face lit up with that beautiful eye smile Siri loved so much. Even from across the road, she could see his cheeks lift and the corners of his eyes crinkle, and it was a wonder to her how after nineteen years together, that smile still gave her butterflies.

Jimin grinned at her and before stepping off the curb, he looked to his right, then to his left, then back to his right again. He was always careful and responsible—except when it came to his bladder, it seemed.

However, he had only made it halfway across the road when a bright red ball suddenly bounced out behind him.

“My ball!” a little boy cried from the footpath.

The boy’s mother quickly caught hold of his shoulder before he could run after it, and Jimin noticed straight away. Being the good human he is—just like his orange t-shirt said—Jimin changed direction, caught the ball before it rolled any further, then carried it back to the little boy.

“Here you go, buddy,” Jimin said with a reassuring smile as he placed it into the child’s waiting hands.

The little boy beamed while his mother thanked him, and Jimin just smiled, giving them a small wave as if it was no trouble at all. Then he turned back towards the café. Back to her, his sweet Serenity.

She felt her heart swell watching her man being a good person. Jimin had a smile that made strangers smile back, and he had a heart that always chose kindness first. He was the type of person who stopped whatever he was doing to help someone else, just like he had done for her all those years ago on the playground, and just like he did now for the little boy.

Heck yeah, that’s my man, she thought proudly at the time.

Still smiling and looking at his love, Jimin took a few steps forwards—not thinking to look left and right again because it had only been a few seconds that distracted him. He was sure he’d be fine.

But then a sudden loud, long horn went off, and Siri flinched when she heard the impact of a body breaking glass, and her smile vanished in an instant.

She didn’t understand. One second she was smiling at Jimin, and he was smiling back at her, then the next second, neither of them were smiling anymore.

It took one second for Siri’s heart to drop and shatter into a million pieces.

It took three seconds and three blinks of her eyes for her to register the scene and what happened.

It took her less than ten steps to reach the limp body of the love of her life, and it took less than a second of her holding him for her tears and sobbing to drown everything out.

For nineteen years, their eyes, their smiles, and their hearts were only for each other. For the rest of their lives their love was meant to be.

Well… at least for one of them that would be true. One of them did love the other for the rest of their unexpectedly short life…

All it took was one second. Just one, for nineteen years to come to a stop, no longer being able to become twenty, thirty or even forty years together.

Siri didn’t hear someone calling out that they had called the ambulance. She didn’t see or hear other people gathering and murmuring around her, looking so devastated for her. She was too busy sobbing.

But she did sort of hear the tall, dimple-faced driver panic and apologise profusely, saying, “Holy shit! I’m so sorry! He suddenly walked back onto the road! He–he wasn’t there and then he was—oh my god! Holy fuck! I can’t believe I hit someone!”

The driver sank onto the curb, hiding his teary panic-stricken face into his hands as he repeatedly mumbled apologies, but Siri wasn’t listening. She heard him, but whatever he said didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered in that moment when the man she was supposed to marry was bleeding through her clothes. Nothing mattered when her heart stopped, just like Jimin’s had stopped too, but unfortunately, his was forever…

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Siri.”

“Sorry for your loss…”

“Very sorry for your loss.”

“Jimin was a great guy. Gonna miss him.”

Boiling with anger from hearing those annoying words moments ago, Siri looks up at the person who just spoke, and straight away that irritating rage inside of her goes from boiling point to a steady simmer. It was her and Jimin’s friend from university.

“Thanks for not saying the same stupid line like everyone else, Yoongs,” Siri murmurs.

Yoongi gives a small smile as he sits next to her on the bench. “I figured you’d wanna hear something different. You look like you’re about to go off your nut soon with how hard you’re clenching your fists and your jaw. Bad for your teeth, ya know.”

Siri actually smiles, although it’s a small one.

“I know it’s going to be hard,” another man comes and sits on her other side. One of her and Jimin’s best friends when they were in high school, Taehyung. “But just know he’s watching over you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Siri looks at him, forcing a smile as tears enter her already swollen and red eyes again. She thought she was all cried out by now, but nope. Guess not.

“Thanks, TaeTae.”

He takes her hand and intertwines their fingers, and Yoongi does the same with Siri’s other one. The two men hold her hand, letting her squeeze them as much as she needs to during the funeral service, and especially so when a slideshow of Jimin’s life plays on a projector screen.

So many photos and clips included her. Every birthday, every sports or academic achievement Jimin received, Siri was there.

She, and pretty much everyone in the chapel, cries throughout the slideshow, and when the final photo of Jimin appears at the end—him with his most recent blonde hair, smiling to the point he can’t see due to his plump lips being so beautifully wide—Siri bawls.

Park Jimin.

Beloved Son.

Cherished fiancé.

Forever twenty-five.

God, she hates this and thinks this is so wrong. Jimin should be sitting beside her, saying something witty to make her smile, or he should be sitting on a chair and falling off it while laughing his ass off. They should be counting down until their wedding day, not counting the days since he died.

Siri shouldn’t be wondering how she was supposed to live the rest of her life without him. She shouldn’t be staring at his polished casket, saying goodbye forever. But she is.

She sits there with Yoongi and Taehyung by her side, as well as Jimin’s parents on the bench in front of her, until the very last person has paid their respects and the chapel begins to empty.

Eventually, Jimin’s parents leave too, telling her they’d see her soon. Yoongi and Tae also go, but before they do, Yoongi promises he’ll come over to cook for her, and Tae promises he’ll come over to annoy her, which does make her smile once again through her tears.

When she’s all alone, Siri feels as empty as the chapel is now. She goes to stand by Jimin’s casket where she places her hand on the hard wood before she leans down to rest her forehead on it.

“This is so unfair,” she croaks out.

Then, before she leaves, Siri slowly slides her engagement ring off her finger, lifts the lid of the casket where she sees a peaceful Jimin sleeping forever, and then she places the ring under his cold, folded hands.

She looks at him for one last moment, then carefully closes the lid. She kisses her fingertips before touching the top of the casket once more, letting her fingers linger there for a second.

“I love you,” she whispers.

Afterwards, Siri finally finds the strength to walk out of the chapel and get into her car. She doesn’t start the engine straight away though, deciding to just sit there, staring through the windscreen, looking at nothing in particular while feeling completely hollow.

The funeral is over, there are no more speeches to listen to, and no more 'sorry for your loss’ to politely accept.

This is it. Jimin is gone.

Eventually, Siri starts the car and leaves the funeral home, not really thinking about where she’s going. Her mind is elsewhere—or more like it’s on nothing—just running on autopilot.

It isn’t until she slows to a stop that she realises where she had ended up… At the playground where she met Jimin.

She didn’t know if she had come here on purpose or if her heart had just brought her here subconsciously. Maybe it was because everything with Jimin had come to an end today, and her heart just wanted to go back to where she and him began.

Taking a shaky breath, Siri climbs out of her car and heads for the playground. It’s deserted, but that’s because it’s the middle of a school day, so children wouldn’t be here until the afternoon.

It feels strange seeing the place so empty, but Siri thinks she prefers it this way since she’s still teary eyed and a little snotty from crying.

She wanders across the rubber flooring until she reaches the tall slide—that special, meaningful slide that holds many memories. The bright red roof has faded over the years, and scratches now mark the silver tube, but it still looks sturdy—it definitely was when she and Jimin rode down it after he had proposed to her here eight months ago.

On autopilot again, Siri climbs the ladder until she stands at the tower part of the slide. She looks out at the playground landscape, thinking back to all the times she and Jimin played here, and a smile tugs at her lips.

She also thinks about how she was hoping to bring their kids here one day. Push their little one on the swings, or ride down the slide with their little one on their lap. However, her smile slowly drops when she realises she won’t be able to do those things anymore. No more Jimin means no more family with him.

Sitting down at the entrance of the slide, Siri lets her legs hang over the edge as she stares into the darkened opening of the silver tube.

She can’t see the end where light awaits. She could only feel a cold breeze coming through, and could only see emptiness. It’s much like how she feels her life is now. Cold and empty.

Strangely, while staring into the dark the hole of the slide, Siri’s surroundings turn dark too, with dark grey clouds floating in the sky and the sound of distant thunder could be heard.

Normally Siri would’ve hurried back to her car before the rain started, but in this moment, she couldn’t have cared less. If anything, she feels the storm coming was fitting as it matched the heaviness in her chest, as well as the almost constant rain of salty tears that have been pouring from her eyes over the last few days, and even now.

She just sits there, crying and sitting on the slide all alone with no Jimin behind her this time, and all the while, Siri just feels an overwhelming weight of guilt in her chest and in the pit of her stomach.

“It’s all my fault,” she whispers to herself.

If I hadn’t called his name, then Jimin would’ve crossed the road at a different time… Or maybe he wouldn’t have crossed at all…

Siri thinks about how she should’ve stayed with Jimin. She should’ve waited on the same side of the road as him instead of walking ahead to find a café. If she had done that, Jimin never would’ve been looking across the street for her, he never would’ve had to stop that stupid red ball, and he never would’ve stepped back out onto the road when he did.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Jiminie,” she sobs into her hands. “I’m so, so sorry…”

Siri wishes she could go back and change things. Wishes she had just one more chance to do things differently that day so Jimin wouldn’t have died.

But then suddenly… Bang! A flash of lightning cracks through the dark sky before striking the silver slide.

Siri screams, throwing her hands over her head as the entire slide vibrates around her, and then all of a sudden, she’s slipping. Her body drops down the slide, making her heart unexpectedly drop, too.

For a few seconds, she’s panicking and screaming in darkness until she reaches the end of the slide.

When she comes out the other end, Siri’s body jolts forward as if she’s woken up from a dream. To her, it does feel that way because she instantly notices her surroundings aren’t of the playground anymore... they’re of her bedroom. And rather than sitting on the end of the silver slide, she’s sitting up on her bed.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Siri flicks her eyes around the room wondering, what the fu—

“Baby?” a sleepy voice murmurs from beside her, cutting off her thoughts.

Siri freezes up while her heart is jumping wildly with confusion and total shock. That voice who called her ‘baby’ is not meant to be a voice she should hear ever again.

A little afraid of what she would find, Siri slowly turns her head. When her eyes look down to her left side, they widen, and her heart skips a happy, but also terrifying beat.

Lying beside her, rubbing his eyes as he lazily pushes himself up onto one elbow, is the love of her life. Her cutie, sexy, lovely, sweet man.

“...Jimin?? Y-You’re… You’re alive??”

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