Customize readability
Aa

Oh, The Places You Went!

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

Parody of Oh, The Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss. Turns out, 98 and 3/4% success leaves plenty of room for failure.

Status
Complete
Chapters
2
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
13+

Part I

“Congratulations!”

That was your day.

You were off to Great Places!

You were off and away!

You had brains in your head.

You had feet in your shoes.

You could’ve steered yourself

any direction you chose.

You were on your own.

Knowing what you now know,

would you still want to decide where to go?

You looked up and down streets,

looked 'em over with care.

About some you said,

"I don't choose to go there."

With your head full of brains

and your shoes full of feet,

you were “too smart

to go down any not-so-good street.”

And you did not find any

you wanted to go down.

With that, of course,

you headed straight out of town.

It was opener there

in the wide open air.

Out there things could happen

and frequently did

to people who had the feet

and brains you hid.

And then things started to happen,

you didn’t worry, didn’t stew,

just went right along.

You started happening too.

Oh, the places you went!

You were on your way up!

You were seeing great sights!

You joined the high fliers

who soared to high heights.

You didn’t lag behind,

because you had the speed.

You passed the whole gang and

you soon took the lead.

Wherever you flew,

you were best of the best.

Wherever you went,

you topped all the rest.

Except when you didn’t.

Because, sometimes, you wouldn’t.

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true

that Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

happened to you.

You got all hung up

in a prickly perch.

And your gang flew on.

You were left in a Lurch.

You came down from the Lurch

with an unpleasant bump.

And the thing is that, then,

you were in a Slump.

And when you were in a Slump,

you were not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

was not easily done.

You came to a place

where the streets were not marked.

Some windows were lighted,

but most were darked.

A place you sprained

both your elbow and chin!

Did you dare to stay out?

Did you dare to go in?

How much could you lose?

How much could you win?

And if you go in,

should you turn left or right...

or right-and-three-quarters?

or, maybe, not quite?

or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it wasn’t,

as you did find,

for a mind-maker-upper

to make up their mind.

You got so confused

that you started to race

down long wiggled roads

at a break-necking pace

and ground on for miles

cross weirdish wild space,

headed, I know,

toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come,

or a plane to go

or the mail to come,

or the rain to go

or the phone to ring,

or the snow to snow

or they were waiting around

for a Yes or No?

Or waiting for their hair to grow?

Everyone was just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for the wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls,

or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls,

or Another Chance.

Everyone was just waiting.

NO! That wasn’t for you!

Somehow you escaped

all that waiting and staying

You found the bright places

where Boom Bands were playing.

With banner flip-flapping,

once more you rode high!

Ready for anything

under the sky.

Ready because you were

that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you went!

There was fun to be done!

There were points to be scored!

There were games to be won!

And the magical things

you could do with that ball

made you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame!

You were as famous as famous could be,

with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they didn’t.

Because, sometimes they wouldn’t.

I know that sometimes

you played lonely games too.

Games you couldn’t win

'cause you played against you.

All Alone!

Whether you liked it or not,

Alone was something

you were quite a lot.

And when you were alone,

I can tell at a glance,

you met things that scared you

right out of your pants.

There were some,

down the road between

hither and yon,

that scared you so much

you didn’t want to go on.

But on you went

though the weather fouled.

On you went

though your enemies prowled.

On you went

though the Hakken-Kraks howled.

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms got sore

and your sneakers began to leak.

On and on you hiked,

And I know you hiked far

and faced all of your problems

whatever they were.

You got mixed up, of course,

as you already know.

You got mixed up

with many strange birds as you’d go.

You forgot when you step,

to step with care and great tact

and remember that

Life's a Great Balancing Act.

You’d always forgot

to be dexterous and deft.

And always mixed up

your right foot with your left.

And did you succeed?

Yes! You did, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU MOVED MOUNTAINS!

So...

when your name was Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

You were off the Great Places!

That was your day!

Your mountain was waiting.

So.. you got on your way.

Chapters
1. Part I
Let LittleThoughts know what you thought about this chapter!
Love this

0

Love this

Funny

0

Funny

Spicy

0

Spicy

Suspenseful

0

Suspenseful

Emotional

0

Emotional

Profound

0

Profound

Heartwarming

0

Heartwarming

Shocking

0

Shocking

Good Writing

0

Good Writing

Compelling Plot

0

Compelling Plot

Great Character

0

Great Character

Strong Dialog

0

Strong Dialog

Further Recommendations

Carmen Thinking…  The sound inside a seashell part 1

Sissy: Beautifully written poetry, and so very emotional. I was addicted and couldn't put it down when I started reading. The authors writing is so good. I didn't see any errors, and it flowed. Very creative. Very sad.

Read Now
The Spoken Word: Words of Life

mariedavismd312: This was Avery spiritual read. The last 2 chapters where very disappointing. That was such a let down unless there is a sequel. Burgess should have been punished for what he did. There was no explanation for his hatred for Jeremiah. I figured he was being set but just had the wrong person. I loved ...

Read Now
MUSHROOM  m i n d

Sophia: Hey!The tension between Gemma and Joseph feels very raw and personal, have you thought about how this dynamic might resonate with readers if you expanded the story into a longer ebook?

Read Now
Enchanting Winter

Sienna Hayes : Hi, I’m Sienna! I read your story and I really liked it. While reading it, I was already imagining the scenes as visuals in my mind. I would love to adapt your story into comic art. I’m really passionate about creating comics, especially adapting stories into visual form. Your story could look amazi...

Read Now
Desire's Dilemma - Elizabeth's Story

Sienna Hayes : Hi, I’m Sienna! I read your story and I really liked it. While reading it, I was already imagining the scenes as visuals in my mind. I would love to adapt your story into comic art. I’m really passionate about creating comics, especially adapting stories into visual form. Your story could look amazi...

Read Now
The Shattered

Sienna Hayes : Hi, I’m Sienna! I read your story and I really liked it. While reading it, I was already imagining the scenes as visuals in my mind. I would love to adapt your story into comic art. I’m really passionate about creating comics, especially adapting stories into visual form. Your story could look amazi...

Read Now
HIS VITALITY

Miriam0011: Hi , I just wanted to reach out and say how much I love your writing style. Your work always feels so engaging and well-researched. I was actually curious how do you usually approach your research phase before you start drafting? Looking forward to hearing from you!

Read Now
His Sinful Infatuation

Mtasker: A genuinely enjoyable read. The line feels natural, the characters are interesting, and the writer truly knows how to keep readers engaged. Looking forward to seeing more.

Read Now
Joelene

Stella Hart: There were many moments when I almost forgot I was following a story. The characters felt so real that I found myself instinctively judging and criticizing them, as if they were real people.The subject of this story was difficult for me. It’s a story we’ve heard far too many times, and perhaps one t...

Read Now