His Eyes

Gazing into his Carolina blue eyes, my heart was drumming in my ears and pounding in my chest. The air seemed thin, making it hard to breathe and keep my focus. Looking down and fiddling with the ring on my finger, his words echoed throughout my head. Every word so meaningful and heartfelt yet his voice was trembling with nervousness. I could see it in his eyes, the passion, the love. My gaze shifted to his hands, which were fidgeting with his maple ombre, curly hair. It was so quiet that it felt as if the world had disappeared around us. After two years of building a sturdy friendship, he was willing to lose it all. Just by knowing this made me tear up. If only he could know, if only I could wrap myself in his loving arms and tell him, if only I could. But I couldn’t. Our friendship is what my confidence is supported by. Without it I’m nobody. Pausing for a moment a radiant smile spread across his face. A smile he had never given me before, it was full of fervour. Then three very concise words hit me in the chest like bullets.

“I love you”

Making my heart skip a beat, they rang through my mind. I just stood there opening and closing my mouth like a fish gasping for air. A frozen shiver ran down my spine making my body freeze up as I felt numerous pairs of eyes lock onto me, waiting for an answer. Finally I managed to blurt out “I’m sorry”, as I darted off with tears flooding my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. Behind me I heard many snickering voices and snide remarks. I turned back for a moment only to catch a glimpse of him wiping his eyes and being taunted by the large group of people. I froze as our eyes accidentally made contact. Those three words started filling my mind as I stood there, tears dripping off my face. It was overwhelming. I felt dizzy and my vision started to grow hazy, sending the world into a blur. Attempting to take another step, I felt my body being forced down by gravity to the concrete. Hitting the ground hard my body ricocheted off then fell back down only to rest on the floor. The entire world disappeared from sight.

Gasping for air I sat up. It was pitch black around me. There was nothing. No sound, no light, no movement, apart from my own. Where was I? Had I died? No. I breathed out and looked down at my hands. Moving my fingers back and forth in a waving pattern. They felt abnormal for some reason. Maybe it was because I had hit my head on the ground. Shaking it off, I placed my hands on the ground to help me stand up. At that moment I had been hit by a wave of intense energy. Frightened, I jumped up. A small movement whizzed by my leg. I spun around. Nothing. My mind was obviously playing tricks on me. I sighed and wandered off. Many thoughts were passing through my mind as I walked. I felt so embarrassed, so guilty. I could see his eyes. Such pain and disappointment in them. I didn’t get to give him my answer. All I did was run off like a coward. I clenched my fist in anger as I started to tear up. Then it struck me like lightning. I need to tell him the truth. He deserves to know. This fuelled my determination to get out of here. Then, out of nowhere, a spotlight appeared in the distance. Perfect. It was so close to me, so I ran towards it. It seemed to be getting further away with every step I took. I grew tired but kept running, chasing after a light that may not even exist. But it looked so real even if it may not be. I puffed and panted as my legs begged and pleaded for my body to give way. But I resisted. I would not give up until I told him my answer. After taking another step I fell to my knees. It was like there was an endless fire burning inside my legs. The pain was unbearable. My legs felt so limp and almost numb with pain. I slammed my fists on the ground as I slouched down, screaming in utter anger and agony. This was the end of the road for me. Tears swelled in my eyes, creating a translucent blur for the pitch black space around me. Suddenly I heard someone call my name. I recognised the voice. Slowly lifting my head up, I spotted a giant screen standing on the ground, some distance away. But on the screen I saw him come racing over towards me with tears in his blue eyes. He repeatedly called my name in distress, waiting for a response. I manage to call back that I was okay, but he was not able hear me. Then it just clicked. I somehow knew exactly where I was. I was inside my mind.

I desperately tried to stand up with all of my might, pushing through the agonising pain, but my foot was stuck. I pusillanimously glanced back to see what was happening, and my jaw just dropped with fear. A dark hand had grabbed a hold of my leg. Panicking, I tugged at it with all my strength, as I finally stumbled forwards, breaking free from its tight grip. Without any hesitation I sped off towards the screen, daring not to look back. Then dark hands started abruptly sprouting from the ground, attempting to grab some part of me. I weaved and winded through the minefield of hands, trying to ignore the immense pain striking my legs from before. My heart was thumping hard against my rib cage and my breathing became so rapid. My multiple thoughts were racing around, struggling to sort themselves out. As I neared the massive screen that sat facing me on the ground, the hands miraculously started disappearing. Assuming it was a good thing, I charged on. I think I was about ten metres away from the screen when the ground started rumbling, knocking me off balance and sending me flying forwards. I hit the ground hard, again. I was furious. How many times had I fallen over today already? I tried to scramble to my feet but in front of me rose a large dark figure. Turning a different direction, another rose there. Then a third one rose in between the two forming a triangle surrounding me. Instantaneously I knew precisely what they were. Guilt, Regret, and Embarrassment. Just three of the many dark spirits that haunted my mind. I was absolutely petrified. Seeing a gap in between two of them, I dove at it. But only for one of my flailing legs to be caught by Regret. Guilt grappled my other leg. Then the two started walking backwards and slowly sank into the floor, dragging me under into the darkest part of my mind. I frantically clawed at the ground, just hoping to pull away from their secure grips. Embarrassment took notice of this and grabbed both of my arms. It was all over. I would never see him or anyone else ever again. As my body began submerging into the floor, I caught a final glimpse of his brilliant blue eyes before whispering his name for one last time. Suddenly I felt a strong tug at my arms as I was pulled out from the dark ground and away from Guilt and Regret’s grasps. Baffled, I looked up to see what had happened. To my disbelief, Embarrassment had been the one to yank me away from them. It let my arms go and gestured for me to leave. Overwhelmed with joy, I rushed towards the screen. As I stood in front of it, I glanced back over my shoulder to see that Embarrassment was fighting off Guilt and Regret.

“Thank you” I whispered before looking back at the screen and lunged into it, being hit by a blinding light.

My eyes flickered open. Sitting up, I looked around me. My room? No, no, hang on. There are people surrounding me. Quiet murmurs were passed around as my eyes finally adjusted to the light again. I gasped in shock. School! I whipped my head forwards. To see him standing there with the biggest smile of relief on his face made my face light up. I felt so ecstatic to see him again. So without any hesitation, I leaped up and sprung into his arms. He felt so warm as I hugged him, slowly snuggling into his chest. Then I sensed that something was wrong. Looking up at him, he was standing there frozen, like a statue, from utter shock. I giggled and smiled up at him. Slowly but surely, a warm smile spread across his face as he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. I embraced it and for the first time in my life I felt like a girl should. Loved, protected, and accepted. Looking up at him, I whispered

“Can I tell you a secret?” He looked down at me, eagerly waiting. A took a deep breath and smiled. “You’re my best friend and...” I paused just to see the reaction on his face.

“I love you!” I giggled. He hugged me even tighter than anyone had before, and the warmth that radiated from him was amazing. But there are no words to describe the absolute jubilance on his face at that moment.

So now as I gaze into his Carolina blue eyes, my heart was drums in my ears, and pounds in my chest. And finally, at this point in time I knew that I truly loved him.