April's Story

There are some things you just can’t avoid or ignore, trust me I know how that goes. That’s how I’ve come to be in the predicament I’m in now. Granted my choices also effected the chain of events that have caused me to be where I am. Still I wouldn’t change a thing. I guess I should tell you who I am and what’s going on. To understand my now you have to know my beginning. I hope you have time because I have plenty to tell.

My name is April La-Shawn Garrett I was born 01/19/1988 to Priscilla Renee Garrett and Michael Bernard Garrett. My mother was a crack addict who tired but could never fully kick her habit. My father was the reason she began this habit. It was one of his many recreational activities he delved into over the 15 years they’d been together, prior to my being born. Gratefully I wasn’t noticeably affected by their lifestyle... or so most thought. My parents have a very physical way in showing their love for me the older I got. It started at the age of 3 when I urinated through my pull-up mother decided a day locked in the basement would teach me a lesson. Yea I know extreme isn’t it, but that was only the start of it all. One of the worse times was on my 7th birthday. My mother decided to buy cake and ice cream and invite a few of the neighbors and their kids over. Everything was perfect!! we played musical chair, pin the tail on the donkey, held a potato sack race , and we also bobbed for apples. We ate really good that day too. Mom cooked BBQ Chicken, Potato Salad, Baked Mac and Cheese, Corn on the Cobb and Cornbread. My cake was vanilla and chocolate swirled together with buttercream icing decorate with balloons, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY APRIL in big cursive letters with the number 7 candle right in the middle of it, and chocolate ice-cream to go with it, compliments of Publix.

It was the best birthday I’d had, until everyone went his/her separate ways and my father came home. He smelt of beer and only God knows what else. It seemed to clog my nostrils like a cheap perfume that had been sprayed on very heavily the closer he got. I was almost done cleaning the house from the party since my mother decided she needed a nap. On my way to the basement to wash the tablecloths he stopped and turned to me in his drunken stupor “where’s your lazy ass mother?” his words slurred into a barely coherent question. I lowered my eyes jerking my head in the direction of their bedroom and answered “she’s taking a nap, and we put your cake and ice cream in the refrigerator. Before the words were fully out my mouth, I was down the stairs from his backhanded slap to my left cheek, the basket of linen still in tote. Scrambling to get to my feet his steel toed work boot met my stomach then my side while he yelled several obscenities at me. As I huddled into the fetal position the familiar swoosh of his belt as he freed it from the belt loops on his pants made me freeze in fear. I tried to curl up tighter as his belt buckle continuously wrapped around my back, arms, legs and side. It was starting to feel as thou the buckle would soon break skin when he finally stopped lashing out at me. Huffing from exhaustion, he starts back up the stairs. Once he reached the door her turned to look at me with a look of disdain ” That’ll teach you to talk to me that way you ungrateful bitch!!” then darkness cradled me into a deep dreamless slumber.

I went to school the next day in my purple turtle neck, jeans, and my purple and white air force ones. Nobody would notice the ugly truth hidden beneath my clothes. There were taunts and questions about my choice of clothes for 80 degree weather. I was used to being teased by now so it didn’t bother me too much. Being called names and torture was apart of my everyday life especially at home but school was my only escape. Nothing they said or did in school could compare to what awaited me once I crossed that threshold to what I called “home”. My main concern was that no ever discovered my secret. I would be lying if I said I never question why they felt the need to treat me the way that they do, they are my parents after all. What did I say that caused him to go into such a fit of rage? After that incident I was free for 8 months when for some unknown reason I was accused of taking from their “stash”. That time didn’t compare to the last, but being locked away in the basement with only a slice of bread and ham to eat and 2 bottles of water for the entire weekend was still torture. I was only let out of the basement to do every choir inhumanly possible for a 7 year old. My chore list consisted of ; cleaning the drains, cutting grass, raking the yard, cleaning the pool of debris, sweeping , mopping and vacuuming every floor in the house ( including the basement), cleaning every bathroom (even the ones we don’t use) making all the meals and cleaning all the dishes. And if nothing was to their liking I’d have to do it all over again, as if it hadn’t already been done. I was only 7 , but they expected some kind of miracle. Yes I was your modern day Cinderella, no step sisters or step mother needed, and no there was no fairy godmother to save me or a handsome prince. I was alone in all of this, watching my life as though it were a movie. The funny thing was as screwed up as my life was, I was still the perfect student and model child at school, even in middle school... well middle school in itself was a whole different level of fucked up.

In middle school I’d joined the chess club and the reading club. I thought that if I found something extra to do with my time the less I’d have to deal with the stresses of living with my ever loving parents... so not the way that worked out. First they gave me hell for having to sign permission slips to participate in events. Then the name calling became an everyday thing. Trying to avoid the occasional slap or punch was like a game of dodgeball. No matter how hard I tried to stay out of their hair I still became more entangled. One day I came home after a chess tournament that I’d won for our team , and of course I was smiling from ear to ear. That instantly changed when I walked in on my father beating my mother. For whatever unknown reason I’d given myself the responsibility to stop him from hurting her any further, and boy did I regret that. I instantly became the target for both of them being hit with any and everything within reach, and called everything under the sun but a child of God. It lasted every bit of 5 minutes but felt like forever. This was one of the worse things to happen and I knew just from the looks on their faces and the way my body felt. The unsaid words in their eyes spoke volumes.

My mother stumbled into the bathroom sobbing quietly as she began to start my bath water. My father limped to my room to get some clean clothes to put on once I was cleaned up. My mother undressed me while my dad adjusted the temperature of the water before I was lowered into the tub. Mom took her time to bathe me and with care, washed my hair then combed and brushed all my tangles and pulled it into a knotted bun on top of my head. She helped out of the tub and into the clothes my dad had picked out for me. As she helped me out of the bathroom before we could turn to go to my room my dad picked me up and toted me down to the dreadful dungeon we called a basement. Shocked at the new transformation of the basement, I look around to see that there is a bed bolted to the floor a bathroom and a rack holding my clothes and dresser to the far right and a lamp stood to the left of it. I didn’t recover from the shock until I was told that this would be my new room and that I would be in school for the next few weeks.

I knew there was no point in debating their concern was not of my well being but of their nasty ways being discovered. I missed two weeks of school. Those two weeks felt like 2 months to me. I was unable to move from my bed, even if I wanted to my body just wouldn’t allow it. After a quick shower I caught sight of my face in the mirror on the wall across from my bed. My lips were severely swollen cracked and scabbed. There were several bruises on my forehead, left jaw, and under and around both my eyes that looked like blooming lilies. There was a gash above my right eye that I knew needed stitches to heal properly, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. My left eye was swollen shut, it looked as though I was in a badly matched boxing fight. Deciding I’d seen enough I decided to lay down and take a much needed nap to get my mind off of what I currently was facing. As I lay down I felt a sharp pain on my left side, it stole my breath and I collapsed on the bed silent tears stream down my face. I knew my ribs were either bruised or crack, again. I prayed to get better soon I hoped God heard me. Day after day I stayed in bed staring at the cream painted walls pf my dungeon , my room. Twice a day my mother was sure to come down with chicken broth and bread. I guess my pain scars and bruises weren’t punishment enough. Thoughts of murdering my parent once I healed crossed my mind many time. Plans to run away thoroughly thought through and planned, but I knew that once I was up and moving I wouldn’t follow through with any of it.

When my “vacation” finally ended and I returned to school with almost healed sores and plenty soreness to accompany them. My bruises had faded and the swelling in my face was gone. I still felt the sharp tingles when I took a deep breath and had adjusted to my tender ankle well enough to walk without anyone noticing my limp too much. I’d had a week of peace and then things took an interesting turn. I was in the library finishing up the last of my make-up work when my homeroom teacher Mrs. Heart found me in the back of the library in my lil study nook I’d fixed up for myself. ” April! Just the person I’m looking for.” I was packing my bag and closing my note book ready to head back to my “new room”. I look over to where she stood a bit surprised that anyone was looking for me. ” you were looking for me?” she smiled at me and cupped her right hand with her left. ” yes I was, now would you mind coming to the classroom and having a little chat with me before you leave?” I was terrified but I was sure not to let it show. No need in drawing more attention to myself. I nod my head in response ” Ok I just need to put the rest of my books in my locker first.” once we made it to her classroom she smiled at me as she unlocked and opened her door.

The smell of the baked goods hit me like a ton of bricks. I walked in and sat my things at the first desk by the door and sat in the chair next to it. I knew I needed to be heading home soon so I hope she got straight to whatever it was she wanted to talk to me about. My nose had my eyes roaming the room trying to locate where the smell was coming from. Mrs. Heart went to her desk and pulled out a clear plastic container with 6 different pastries wrapped in thin pieces of paper. I think I slobbed a bit her laugh shook me out of my stupor ” have some... I don’t mind. Its not like I’d be able to eat all 6 in one sitting.” I wanted to say no but I never get fresh baked anything unless I do it and they smelled sssoooo good. Instead of doing what I knew my parents would want I figured why not and grabbed two of the pastries one was a apple danish and the other was a bear claw. By the time I’d bit into the danish she’d brought me a cup of water with a smile I quietly thanked her and waited for her to say what she called me into her room for. She sat on the desk next to where I’d sat down she took a shallow breath and looked at me as if I was some 1000 piece puzzle. ” I wanted to recruit you for the math bowl and as a tutor in the 21st century program after school as well. What do you think about that?” I tilted my head to the side and took a huge bite of the bear claw as I let her words roll over in my head. She wanted me to be a tutor and join yet another club, but I also knew the tournament was coming in a few months and they were short one person. ” I’d love to join the math bowl, but I need to think about the tutoring. Is that ok?” she laughed a little ” of course that’s ok it isn’t mandatory I just know you″ be a good fit on the team and a great help to the kids who need it. Whatever you decide I’m fine with.” I shook my head once and got up to gather my things and dump my trash. Before I could get too far I heard the click of her heels rushing in my direction ” I’ll take you home!” in that moment I think I died.

My breath got caught in my chest and I felt light headed dizzy and nauseous. I’d completely stopped and had to balance myself against the lockers nearest to me. She rushed to my side sounding frantic ” April! are you ok? What's wrong? Do you have any pain?” I wanted to yell that she was becoming a problem, but of course that would only be the start of more questions. I could not afford her concern or curiosity. Standing up I walk as fast as I could given my injuries and need to try and remain calm. ” I’m fine, but you don’t have to take me home I’m used to walking it gives me time to think and plan.” looking at the exit gate so close yet so far away. I could tell from the look on her face this wasn’t something she planned to back away from. Her perfectly arched brows were gathered together and her lips were firmly pursed. ” I’m definitely taking you home now.” I fought against the urge to drop to the ground and cry. I don’t need her or my parents getting suspicious about anything it’ll only land me in a position I’ve manage to barely skate clear of, especially with my injuries almost fully healed. I nod my head in defeat being sure to avoid her prying gaze. We walk to her car after she ran into the office and clocked out. Let me say this her car was nothing I’ve ever seen a teacher drive. She had a 2008 candy apple red Bentley Continental GTC with chrome rims, and yes I’m a bit of a car geek. Well maybe more than just a bit.

The inside of her car smelled like magnolias and pastries. The seats were plush pearl white warm leather with a splash of the same red that coated the outside of her car. The dashboard and center console was encased in pearl white marble. It looked like something out of a sci-fi movie to me, but it was all so beautiful in the way that that it flowed into the next feature. Her steering wheeling was a swirl of red and white with all kinds of buttons in the center of it to control different things in and on the car while she drove. I was in total awe as I finally reached over to buckle myself in her front seat. Being sure not to leave a print or smudge on anything I touched. I barely felt the surge of the engine as she turned the keys in the ignition. The leather hugged me the way I’ve always wanted my parents to, I mean who doesn’t want their parents affection. I snapped back to reality when I realized we weren’t heading in the right direction. Careful not to show my anxiety I spoke up ” you’re going the wrong way, my house is in the opposite direction.” turning my head to look at her I finally notice the perplexed look on her face. Like she’s fighting herself inside, but very unaware of the war that was apparent on her face. Then it dawns on me how this is the longest I’ve ever spent alone with anybody EVER not even my ever loving parents who have so much affection to share.

My palms had begun to sweat and shake and I closed my eyes and repeated the rules I’ve lived by since I first started school :

never talk about home

never let them see you cry

never tell a soul

NEVER!

She finally looked at me and says, “I know I just wanted to take a little detour and show you one of my favorite spots... you ok with that?” I shakily let out a breath and think it over it’s not like my presence is really wanted back home. What harm could be done? It’s just a car ride..... right? I give her a quick nod and she speeds up a bit. It doesn’t take long and we’re at a park not a full 5 minutes away from the school. She parks the car and we walk 0ver to the swinging bench under a gazebo. I’ve passed this park many times but never have I had the opportunity to walk around or play for that matter. We sit and swing in silence for a few minutes during which I have done a good scan of the park. They have a tennis court, baseball soccer and football field, basketball court and even a pool. My favorite part was further off away from the parking area and everything else. It was a man made lake and a small maze of a garden filled with all kinds of bright and colorful flowers. And there was a small bridge and water fountain and they had dragonflies and butterflies littering the area. It was beautiful, she asked me if I’d like to take a walk over and I was more than willing to do just that. She giggle like a schoolgirl when I practically jumped off the swinging bench down the 2 steps and sprinted to the garden. I explored and stared at everything around me, By the time I’d satisfied my curiosity she’d found a seat on a bench near the lake. I made a bee line for her... and then the questioning began.

“April is everything ok at home... you were out for some time and missed quite a bit of the new lessons and tests.” I can feel her eyes drilling a hole in the side of my head. I don’t answer immediately because I’m chanting and trying to stay calm. After some time I look up at Mrs. Heart and respond ” everything is fine.” not that I could say too much. I didn’t have a doctors note so I couldn’t say I got sick, or that I broke anything, and even if I used the sprained ankle I’d still be able to go to school. It was best I kept it simple and short enough to answer and not to give anything away. By this point i figured getting up was best and just walking around the garden would keep things quiet, so that’s what I did. I stopped by this swarm of butterflies hovering over a section filled with lavender, daylilies, verbena, and marigolds. I was so consumed in my thoughts that I didn’t hear or see Mrs. Heart approach and almost jumped out of my skin when she spoke. “sorry didn’t mean to scare you sweetie, but it's time to take you home.” I tried to keep the disappointment off my face gave a quick nod and we slowly made our way back to her car.

Everything became a blur by the time we were back in the car and heading to my house. I didn’t speak for the 10 minute ride back. What was I to say other than thank you. Just before we got to my block she reached into the back seat and gave me this pretty little bag that was really colorful. You know the ones people normally get with the colorful tissue paper stuffed inside to hide whatever present was being given. Yea that’s the one ,it wasn’t heavy and it wasn’t light either. Before I could look inside she told me to wait till I was alone and settle to look inside. I smiled a little and surprised us both when I took my seat belt off and reach over the console to hug her tightly. ” thank you, for everything.” I smiled at her and got out the car to walk the rest of the way. I didn’t hear her car pull off so I’m pretty sure she sat and waited till I reached my door before she pulled off. Once inside I was glad to find that my parents left a note saying they were gone for the rest of the evening to clean up and don’t bother their things. Not that I had a reason to anyway, so I quickly went through my chores fixed me a few sandwiches and headed to the dungeon. After taking a quick shower I finally got to sit down and look into the bag she’d given me. There was this really pretty book with a lock attached to it. Rushing to see what was in it I dumped the bag on my bed and found the key to the lock and opened it. There was a note on the inside of the cover in pretty loopy neat cursive.

I thought you might like to have someone to confide in I’ve noticed your quietude and introverted nature so instead of prying I give you something that will carry you without the worry of betrayal. Keep this safe and out of reach, and every so often I get you a new one and leave it in your locker. You have a light that refuses to be dimmed whatever you may be facing don’t run face it head on. If you ever need anything all you have to do is call and I’ll answer. Just remember when things get bad that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.....

I was shocked to say the least. Her number and email were written just as neatly at the bottom I put the lock back in its respective place and decided it was better to keep this with me at all times. Pushing it to the back of my bag in a pouch that’s never had a purpose until now. I made sure my clothes were ready for tomorrow, and that everything was as it should be before climbing in bed. I stared at the ceiling for God knows how long. A smile plastered on my face she gave me a diary and a friend. Rolling over I release a small sigh said a little prayer and hoped that today wouldn’t come back to haunt me.