What is your opinion?
Great so far!
"I loved the first chapter! Very intriguing, kept me on the edge of my seat. I was disappointed when I saw that there was only one chapter, and I hope to see more chapters soon! Keep up the good work!"
Great Read
"You have a wonderful story building and have a gift in holding your readers in expectation, I would so much enjoy to discover how this novel progresses and encourage you to never stop writing as your story has great potential as do you as a writer."
awesome
"your story is awesome even a fantasy movie can be made on it. I am waiting very curiously for you next part of the book"
It's great!
"There was nothing I could find wrong with this story other than wanting more! I like how you gave a back ground and the problem in advance. It works as really good prologue to the story so far! Reading this made me want to know more about the all the characters mentioned and I'm really excited to see how Ophelia plays into the story and what her part is in all this."
Great start!
"Just a small taste of what's to come. It hooked me, and I'm quite excited to see what's next!"
:)
"Hi! I figured I'd review your story and so far I rather like it! The plot is rather intriguing, I must say. But there are a few spots that could sound better reworded like this one. - out-of-the-way booth would sound better if you were more descriptive, saying something like "The two men were led to a little booth tucked away in a corner, the red, plastic-like covering cracking from years of use as the foam on the inside poured out like caramel. The table was clean but had gum stuck underneath it, the once brightness a little bit darker." See? Description is key which you seem to do well but seem to fall short when it comes to surroundings and the atmosphere of the book itself. But you seem to do well explaining the emotions and mindset of character without outright doing so which is always amazing to see. But your style with describing things other than people could use a little work. Trying looking at a favorite book and how that author tackled describing. Maybe you can get some inspiration! Say, don't tell is one of the best things to remind yourself when writing. Don't tell someone what a character did, saw, say it. Instead of typing for example, "Nayleth was nervous, She was fidgeting as Sully laid in front of her, a long cut running down his neck and blood gushed out. He was dying." Something along the lines of "Nayleth kept biting her nails, her hands shaking as well. Sully was bleeding from the neck, too much to keep control of with her magic. She didn't know what she was going to do and that was a big issue." Explain whats happening but don't out right tell people. But sometimes doing just that it good, just know when it's best to, is all. Otherwise, I liked the story. Captivating, in a way. I'll be interested to see where things go! Good luck in future writings!"
Awesome!!!
"The first chapter was really good and intriguing. I like how you get hooked right when the mysterious man asks him for a coffee, and then tells him that he knows he was planning to kill himself. It makes us wonder why he wants to commit that act, and why that man somehow knows what he was planning. It's great so far, and I encourage you to keep writing how you are! You are very talented."
Awesome description
"Wow, awesome description! It's like a professional short story thing we read in class haha"
